Ignotus's page

Thanks for the kind words, all! Participating in this has been all kinds of fun, and most of it has been because of the awesome camaraderie between the community and the contestants. I'm grateful for your support (and your votes), and after this initial adrenaline rush fades, I'll be getting to work on making this a module worthy of your expectations.

And congratulations to Jerall, Cody, and Sean; your stuff has been a pleasure to read and awesome throughout. I'm sure I'll be seeing your names on many more things beyond the PFS modules in the months/years to come.

So, I figure I should write my response on this thread now, before the winner of the voting is revealed and I am either elated or disgruntled. As usual, I'll try to address what I see as the main lines of criticism; my apologies for anything I miss or skip.

Thing the first: the name.

The name, the name, the name. I am usually pretty good at naming things. And I have an ironclad rule: a project should have a name before it's 30% complete or so, otherwise you'll never find an appropriate name. "Grasping at Shadows" was picked about five minutes before I submitted, after two hours of serious deliberation and a week of stressing over this. So what happened? The answer is that I had a great title that I couldn't use. Actually, I had two.

As some people noticed, this adventure contains a black mirror, and "The Black Mirror" would be an appropriate title for the adventure. In fact, when I was spitballing adventure ideas at the very beginning of the contest, "Beyond the Black Mirror" was a prospective title, because I loved the image of walking through a looking-glass that reflected another, darker reality. By the time Round 4 rolled around, I had settled on another idea for my adventure (a mid-to-high level thing called "Slaves of the Sooth Stone" - I can post the teaser blurb if anyone is curious), so I didn't feel bad plundering the phrase "Black Mirror" for my giant tar pit. When I needed a new adventure idea, I bought a copy of bestiary 2 and spent the weekend reading it. I noticed a large number of cool shadow-related monsters clustered around CR 2-4, and things started germinating. When I needed a focal point for the connection to shadow, the black mirror was too cool an image to pass up. I seriously considered giving my adventure the identical title to my location, but in the end I decided that would be too ballsy a move for too little payoff. Besides, I had a second awesome title: Night's Black Agents, which comes from Macbeth. Unfortunately, as I discovered while doing some googling later, RPG legend Ken Hite has a game with that title coming out from Pelgrane Press this year. So that left me scrambling to find a title at the end of the creative process. I have dozens written down - "in the jaws of night," "swords against shadow," "tenebrous bonds," "out, out, brief candle" - but in the end I felt like grasping at shadows, though not very heroic, captured the paranoia of the first act and the shadows of the second. But it wasn't that perfect fit I'd been hoping for, and it sounds like it didn't resonate well with you guys either.

Thing the second: setting.

On my first pass through the inner sea guide, I kind of dismissed Nidal as a country that PCs would never willingly go to, which was a mistake in retrospect. Genre-wise, I thought that the dividing line was that Nidal was for Cthulhu-esque stories, and Ustalav was for Ravenloft-y ones. Since Grasping at Shadows has a very comprehensible villain and a folk horror-y feel, I went with Ustalav. The complaint that Ustalav is for "classic" horrors and not RPG creations makes sense, and is a good reason to look at moving this elsewhere. The world continuity issues with the fetchling population are also reasonable ones. I originally had a sentence about how fetchlings had gravitated to Karpad over the past decade because the baron's deal with shadow meant that they were tolerated there, but if fetchlings are just extremely rare in Ustalav, that might not be sufficient. I kind of like the idea of setting it near, but not actually in, Nidal.

Thing the third: the Penumbral Accords. I haven't read this adventure, or even the summary (well, I read the summary after the judges' commentary came out). It's unfortunate that there was apparently a lot of crossover. I don't have an immediate solution for rewriting the plot to distinguish it better, though there are a number of possibilites. If this adventure is chosen by the voters, that's something I would have to discuss with the developer.

Other stuff:

When I made the tallow worms fey, I was envisioning them being like the many other insectoid fey creatures (e.g. grigs), specifically grub-men with horrid little faces. If that's too distressing then they could become aberrations.

I grew up on Planescape, so I have a tendency to let the PCs on to the planes a little earlier than most GMs. I like the contrast between the planes as a terrifying place for low-level PCs who can't travel between them under their own power vs. the planes as unknown worlds that suddenly open up to higher level ones, and I think there's a place for both kinds of adventures. I also noticed that most of the creatures native to the plane of shadow (the non-nightshade ones, at any rate) are in the CR 3-5 range. To me, this says that this is the appropriate level for the PCs to engage with them. I also worry that if it was just the plane of shadow taking over the house, that the PCs would simply burn the house down - that's what my players would do, at any rate. So planehopping is an element of the adventure I think I'd stick up for (though obviously if it has to go, it has to go).

Quandry and Lukas Klausner say what I would have about the possibility of a ghetto even in a fairly small community.

The question of the fetchling backstab is an interesting one. Fetchlings aren't an ideological group, they're a race. As such, there are good and evil members who deserve to be judged individually, and I feel like it's important to show that. Still, I don't want the PCs to feel like they defended the fetchlings for nothing. So, first off, the fetchlings they save from lynching would have names and personalities, and will be staunch allies if rescued - they would be the ones who would help the PCs find the fetchlings working for Nicasor, and the PCs wouldn't feel bad about defending them. Another way to defuse the "goddamn it, the fetchlings were evil all along!" would be to have Nicasor's fetchling servants be unwilling - for instance, he might have their families hostage in his dungeon (the fetchling prisoners could replace the d'ziriaks).

This whole contest has been a great experience. The judges, the other contestants, and the messageboard community have all been awesome, and I've learned a ton about game design from each. Thanks to everyone who posted encouragement, critique, and analysis on this thread, and thanks especially to everyone who voted for me :p

It's going to be a long 23 hours until the final reveal.

You guys ready for the big reveal tomorrow?

I've always been a "rip the band-aid off" sort of person.

Yes, you were worried about the submission, but more importantly, did you find the missing person? Don't leave us hanging! :)

I wish I had an answer to this, but as happens all too often in cool dreams, I woke up before the conclusion. Stupid cats knocking over the trash can.

The dream did make me want to see the film Winter's Bone, though.

File under "no more deadly premonition right before bed:"

I just spent the night dreaming that I was investigating a disappearance in meth-ravaged appalachian backwoods where there was no cell phone service and might be murdered. And in addition to being worried about having my skull bashed in by rural speed freaks, my dream-self was also freaking out that a) I had submitted an incorrect draft of my adventure*, and b) that the adventure didn't tie sufficiently well into the upcoming magic the gathering set (wtf?). Subconscious mind, you need to prioritize better.

*Based on real-life events! Due to a glitch, the preview button somehow briefly caused my adventure's title to change to "cult of the ebon destroyers" right before I submitted it... good thing I checked it over like 10,000 times and caught this before clicking the final button

Hey, fellow finalists- Just noticed the 'Thank you for submitting! Your entry was received x hours ago...' text vanished from the main page. I know it was there this morning after I submitted, so I was just wondering if it went poof for you guys as well? Otherwise I might start worrying. :-)

Yep, gone for me too.

Well, I pressed submit. No going back now.

It's been a bit of a rough ride. I had 80% of what could probably have been anywhere from an 8-12th level adventure planned out when the 4th level requirement was announced. I was at Dreamation at the time, so I couldn't really do anything besides spaz out and flip through Pathfinder sourcebooks in the dealer's room.

Then I made the mistake of thinking that the deadline was last Friday, and was killing myself to get everything done. I was about a third of the way in on Thursday night when a friend on IM pointed out the actual deadline. Whoops. On the plus side, freaking out last week meant this week was sane enough for me to actually run my Kingmaker game for the first time in a month.

Anyway, it's in now. I'm excited to see what Jerall, Sean, and Cody have cooking. It's been a pleasure matching wits with you (all 31 of you, in fact), and spurring each other onward to make cool stuff. It's going to be a looooong wait till tuesday evening. Time to remember all the stuff I do for fun normally...

And to the judges: morituri te salutant!

Grasping at Shadows

Night itself has been banished from the valley of Karpad, by edict of its baron. Mystic flames keep out the darkness, but fear remains. For a decade, neither man nor monster troubled Karpad’s peace. Now, a broken promise and an unspeakable debt have turned the very shadows against the valley and its lord. With townsfolk disappearing one by one, can the heroes protect the people of Karpad from otherworldly vengeance?

Grasping at Shadows is a horror-tinged Pathfinder adventure for 4th-level characters, which will bring them to 5th level. This urban- and dungeon-based adventure will see the heroes pursue an insidious kidnapper, uncover the secret of a noble family, and confront the horrors of the mysterious Shadow Plane.

Adventure Background

Stepan Boroi , the ambitious third son of a minor baron in Ustalav, was not content to see his eldest brother inherit the family lands. Amidst the detritus of generations that fill the crumbling Boroi manor, Stepan discovered an ancient looking glass, acquired centuries ago by an ancestor of sinister repute. Instead of reflecting the Boroi manor, the glass revealed the Other Manor, the house as it exists on the Shadow Plane. And where Stepan’s reflection should have been, there was instead a dark figure, taller than a man, with eyes like distant stars. This was Nicasor, baron of the Other Manor, a hand of night.

Hand of Night:

Stepan and Nicasor struck a dark bargain. Nicasor would help Stepan succeed his father as baron. In return, Stepan promised that when he married, he would give his firstborn son and heir to Nicasor until the boy turned eighteen. Nicasor planned to transform the boy on the Shadow Plane, and return Stepan’s heir as a ruthless, loyal, puppet ruler. Over the next months, Stepan’s brothers mysteriously disappeared. Stepan was crowned Baron of Karpad when his father died shortly thereafter. Neither bandits nor monsters troubled Stepan’s realm, and villagers whispered that the shadows watched over their valley by night.

After nearly ten years of idyllic rule, Stepan finally took a wife, a beautiful noblewoman from Caliphas named Anya. Two months ago, she bore him a son. But time and love have changed Stepan, and softened his iron heart. Stepan could not bear to surrender his son, and he has broken his pact with Nicasor. Furious, Nicasor promised to take what it was owed, and to ruin all that Stepan holds dear.

Fearing Nicasor’s wrath, Stepan has freed a lurker in light (Bestiary 2) long imprisoned beneath the manor. This cruel fey despises all who serve shadow, and was only too happy to pledge its service to Stepan in exchange for freedom. The lurker has arranged for continual flames to be placed throughout the manor and village, making the town brightly lit even at night. To conjure allies with his ritual gate ability, the lurker abducts and sacrifices townsfolk. The baron’s dire pronouncements have made the villagers blame the disappearances on unseen shadow monsters - and on the town’s very real population of fetchlings (Bestiary 2), humans whose ancestors dwelt on the Shadow Plane. As Nicasor bides its time and plans its retaliation, Karpad threatens to dissolve into paranoia and violence.

Act I: Dread of Night

A. Arrival
The adventure begins with the party’s arrival at the isolated township of Karpad, in the valley that bears its name. The town is visible from a great distance in day or night, as its thatched roofs and cobbled streets are brightly lit by hundreds of continual flames. Higher up the valley slopes, more magic similarly illuminates a large, ancient manor.

The PCs could visit Karpad for several reasons:

• A relative of one of the lurker’s victims hires the party to find out what happened to her vanished kin.
  
• The party needs information from a retired adventurer who settled in Karpad - they soon discover that he was among the first to disappear.
  
• Suspicious of the dark circumstances under which Stepan took power, Baroness Anya’s brother hires the PCs to check on her, and ensure that her new husband treats her well.
  
• Anya is a PC’s friend or family. She summons the party to Karpad via a frightened and confusing letter.

Upon arrival, the party is greeted by what threatens to become a public lynching. A mob has cornered three fetchlings in the town square. The mob’s leader, a farmer named Emil, accused them of abducting his son. Emil has no real evidence, but his words are a spark to the dry tinder of the townsfolk’s fear and anger. If the party successfully intervenes, they gain the gratitude of the fetchlings; otherwise the three are hanged.

B. Karpad
The townsfolk all tell the same story:
Three weeks ago, Felix the blacksmith disappeared. Baron Stepan gathered the townsfolk and warned them that shadowy horrors were infiltrating the valley. To protect Karpad, hooded mages working for the baron conjured hundreds of magical lights that illuminate the town day and night. Since then, however, six other people have disappeared. Many in the town suspect that fetchlings are behind the disappearances, and popular sentiment is growing towards burning their ghetto.

At the manor, Baron Stepan is morose and withdrawn. Terrified of his own shadow, the Baron has trapped it in a book of night without moon (Round 1, variant) - though its loss has only made him more unstable. The paranoid baron keeps his wife and infant son in the manor’s tower, under constant guard. Stepan and Anya say that a horror from the Shadow Plane wants to take their child, and will kill them and destroy Karpad unless they comply. Baron Stepan keeps his bargain with Nicasor secret from both the party and his wife. If the party is not already investigating the disappearances, Stepan and Anya beg them to do so, offering compensation.

The fetchling ghetto is secretive and hostile, though depending on the opening scene’s outcome, the PCs may be warily welcomed. The fetchlings do not know why the disappearances are happening; they are terrified of how their neighbors have turned against them. If the PCs gain the fetchlings’ trust, they may discover a family of Nicasor’s sleeper agents dwelling secretly in the ghetto.

C. The Truth
The lurker’s first abductions were to summon tallow worms (see below), who could create continual flames to assuage the baron’s fear of nocturnal infiltration. The lurker desires five more victims, to summon his mate. He hates fetchlings, but avoids kidnapping them to help turn suspicion towards the ghetto. Baron Stepan does not know that the lurker is behind the abductions. If the baron found out, he would be horrified, but Stepan’s dependence on the lurker and his fear of the dark would force him to ignore the creature’s depredations.

Tallow Worm:

The lurker has carried out five more abductions than the villagers realize, to provide hosts for his tallow worms. The resultant thralls maintain their stolen identities when not assisting the lurker. If unmasked they prove craven and manipulative. Killing a tallow worm extinguishes many of Karpad’s continual flames, causing widespread panic among the townsfolk.

D. Investigating the Disappearances
When the party arrives in Karpad, the lurker has collected two victims in a chandlery (candle-maker’s shop) shuttered shortly after the baron lit the town with magic. The lurker makes one abduction every other day, giving the party six days to solve the mystery before the lurker ritually sacrifices his prisoners.

The party can find clues with Diplomacy gather information checks, and/or by investigating the homes and friends of the disappeared.

• The lurker disposes of bodies in a nearby river, but several became tangled in roots where the riverbed is shallow. The bodies have wax embedded under their fingernails from their imprisonment in the chandlery upstream.
  
• A victim’s child saw the lurker as he accidentally wandered into shadow. The child describes “a little man with dragonfly wings who was watching mommy. He saw me looking at him, and put his finger to his lips to tell me to be quiet. Then he flew up to one of the magic lanterns and I couldn’t see him anymore.”
  
• A victim’s wife explains that her husband believed a secret society in the town was behind the disappearances. He thought that Lucian the chandler and Magda the midwife were both members. Both are tallow thralls, and can be caught and interrogated or followed back to the chandlery.
  
• One local saw a fetchling at a victim’s house right before her disappearance. This is a red herring (for a failed gather information check) – the fetchling was the missing woman’s secret lover.

The lurker in light invisibly observes the party’s investigations. If the party seems stymied, or the adventure’s pace slackens, the GM should have tallow thralls try to lure off a PC to kidnap. After the ensuing fight, the PCs can interrogate the thralls or chase them back to the chandlery when they retreat.

E. The Chandlery
The lurker keeps his victims imprisoned in vats lined with wax in the basement of this boarded-up building. The entrances and ground level are heavily trapped. The lurker and the remaining tallow thralls fight the PCs here to protect their captives. If the PCs have brought a mob, or if the fight goes against the lurker, he gleefully sets fire to the building, threatening both the party and the prisoners.

Inside the chandlery, the party finds the hooded robes the tallow thralls wore when posing as the baron’s “mages.” The lurker has the baron’s seal and a set of keys to the castle. If the lurker’s life is threatened, he tells the party that he is under the baron’s protection, and attempts to escape back to the manor.

Intermezzo: Night’s Black Agents

At this point the party is likely ready to confront Baron Stepan about everything he’s been hiding from them. If not, the baron invites them to the manor to interrogate them about the violence and upheaval their actions have caused in town. Either way, the situation with Stepan is interrupted just as it reaches a climax by the arrival of a wraith assassin sent to kill him. Stepan recognizes the wraith as what remains of his eldest brother, and has a screaming breakdown. With the town’s lights partially or completely shut off by the demise of the tallow worms, Nicasor is ready to take his revenge. If the party has failed to solve the mystery after six days, or has avoided killing the tallow worms, Nicasor attacks anyway, sending fetchling sorcerers capable of snuffing out the lights with darkness spells.

In addition to the assassination attempt, Nicasor has launched several other incursions.

• Fetchling rogues riding gloomwings (Bestiary 2) fly to the top of the manor tower to steal away Anya and her son.
  
• Shadows and shadowgarms (Bastards of Erebus) assault Karpad, herding the townsfolk into the central square to transform them into shadows.
  
• Nicasor’s sleeper agents from the ghetto attack the town’s few priests, and hunt down anyone fleeing town.

Nicasor hopes to spread Karpad’s forces too thinly to fend off his attacks. The party may have to make hard choices about who to protect. If the PCs gained the trust of Karpad’s fetchlings, they help deal with Nicasor’s sleeper agents. If the lurker or any tallow worms are still alive, they put aside their enmity with the party to fight against the shadows.

Once Nicasor’s forces have been repelled, the baron (or Anya or the majordomo, if Stepan died) thanks the PCs profusely. Stepan is badly shaken, and with even a small push he confesses his remaining secrets. He asks them to bring the fight to Nicasor, either to rescue his wife and son (if the PCs failed to protect them), or to save the town from future attacks. If Anya is present, she gives the party her mother’s ward for protection (otherwise they receive it if/when they rescue her). The baron brings the PCs to the dungeon under the castle, and shows them the looking glass, warded by bright lights and protective circles. The PCs can walk through the mirror to enter the Other Manor.

Mother’s Ward:

Act II: Through a Glass, Darkly

A. The House of Night
The Other Manor is dark and freezing cold. Its walls are blurry and slowly undulate, as if the house itself were breathing. This is not far from the truth – powerful enchantments have given the Other Manor a malign intelligence and a semblance of life. Outside its windows stretch the endless wastelands of the Shadow Plane.

The house itself opposes the party as they make their way through it. Using shadowy illusions, the Other Manor attempts to hide vulnerable areas and lure the party down secret passageways. The substance of the house moves as well, opening yawning pits, sealing doorways to trap and separate the party, and sending animate objects to attack them. Meanwhile, Nicasor’s shadows and shadowgarms hunt for the party in the halls.

Bright light paralyzes the Other Manor, and it cannot use its powers anywhere the party can create sufficient illumination. The source of the Other Manor’s enchantment is its heart, an enormous, pulsating black pearl that sits in a secret room at the middle of the house. Tendrils of dark power run like veins from the pearl into the floor, walls, and ceiling. The pearl is guarded by a shadow mastiff and its fetchling handlers. The Manor does its best to hide its heart, but it cannot stop the walls adjacent to the secret chamber from weeping telltale black fluid.

The party may also find unusual allies in the insectoid d’ziriaks (bestiary 2) that Nicasor keeps prisoner. The d’ziriaks are being used as living incubators for gloomwing larvae (fortunately months away from hatching). If Anya was abducted, she is here as well, awaiting gloomwing implantation. If the party helps them, the d’ziriaks can tell them about the weaknesses of the Other Manor, as well as about Nicasor.

B. Upstairs
Incongruously, the upper floor contains a nursery, well-lit and almost welcoming. The nursery is guarded by a monstrous “nanny” – an animate scarecrow (Tome of Horrors Revised) bundled up in an old woman’s cast-off clothes. If the baron’s son has been kidnapped, he can be found here. The upper floor is also home to the baron’s second brother. Driven mad by his imprisonment in this realm of gloom and despair, in death he has become a muttering allip.

Nicasor awaits in what would be a study, were this a mortal mansion. The hand of night is calm and urbane, and expresses little interest in fighting the party (though it is chagrinned by any damage to its home).

“Baron Stepan and I made a bargain, as his ancestors and I have done in ages past. I fulfilled my end. Now I will have what is owed me, one way or another. Everything has its price, in your world as in mine.”

If the party tries to negotiate, Nicasor is reasonable, but ultimately demands either the child or the barony itself as the price for ending Stepan’s debt and its vendetta. A peaceful solution is unlikely, though a clever lie might lure Nicasor from his sanctuary. If the party retreats without an agreement, Nicasor lets them go (as long as they’re not leaving with its prisoners), but resumes gathering shadows for another assault.

In combat, Nicasor animates the party’s shadows, then snatches a vulnerable PC, and skitters to the ceiling with his prey. If the party didn’t destroy the Other Manor’s heart, it uses all its powers to defend its master.

Conclusion

Stepan’s servant smashes the mirror once the party returns. Karpad is much the worse for wear, but its remaining people are safe. If Stepan lives, and Anya learned of his plans for their child, she asks the PCs to take her and the boy with them when they leave the valley. The baron is a broken man, consumed by the suffering his crimes have caused yet unable to atone for them (though compassionate PCs might be able to help). If Anya stays, she becomes the effective ruler of Karpad.

Late as usual, I'm afraid, but now that I have a draft of my round 5 entry put together, I thought I'd come back to this thread and respond to comments. The forum is pretty dead otherwise so hopefully this will provide a little entertainment.

So, first up, I want to thank Joel Flank for making a badass villain who could carry any number of crazy, inspiring locations. I love that planar epic/weird feel, and Voracek delivers. The adventure hooks were great as well, and helped flesh out the logistics of his schemes. The summer after I graduated high school, I ran a whole campaign centering around Ogremach, the D&D predecessor to Ayrzul. Evil elemental earth is awesome, and I'm glad I got a chance to play around with it again.

The first major criticism that came up was that I was treading on dangerous territory canon-wise with Nex and Geb both fighting against Ayrzul. Nex and Geb fought for something like 1400 years, so I had kind of assumed there was room for lots of weird, brief incidents like the one I created for the Black Mirror. However, the judges are the people who have to professionally maintain Golarion as a setting, and they're far more attuned to its nuances. I don't need to be told twice that I'm taking too many liberties with canon, and I'll be more careful in the future.

The second big criticism was about not including magic-warping Mana Wastes craziness, and in retrospect I think this was a big mistake and a missed opportunity - especially since haywire magic could have done double duty as a fix for Voracek's lack of air power/range. The one caveat is that the encounter is already kind of pushing the limits of hostile terrain without increasing the CR, and having adverse Mana Wastes effects on top of that seemed like a bridge too far. That said, the Mana Wastes are defined by wild magic, and the Black Mirror should have had some.

The third big thing that came up was the map. I think I got a bit seduced by the fun I was having playing in illustrator, and ended up producing something that was half-way between a map that would serve as a good guideline to illustrators and a finished map. As a result it both looked kind of garish and was too cluttered with things that should probably be left up to the cartographers. In particular, I didn't realize that too much detail on the map leads to communication difficulties between cartographers and developers/editors; that's something I'll definitely remember.

A couple of specific comments I wanted to respond to:

15 rounds says to me "this doesn't happen during combat". I have never seen a combat last 15 rounds.

This was originally 10 rounds. I had to make a decision about whether I wanted the conduit to open during most fights, or just to be a consequence for seriously screwing up. I chose the latter, and so I erred on the side of having a long countdown. 15 might still be too long, however.

Then, if all of these things are connected by wooden bridges, the most obvious tactic of the elementals isn't listed at all - removing the bridges. That would leave the PCs with two options - fight on the side of a giant face, or fight inside the quicksand. While this would make the encounter interesting, the factor of the mana wastes, the poor tactics and the terrible terrain make this something I might start running and then handwave completion because it's too complicated.

This is actually something that was in an early draft of the Black Mirror. I ended up removing it because it would take the elementals several rounds to destroy the bridges, during which the PCs could be whaling on them. I decided it would be more effective for the elementals to use surprise, and rely on their already super-awesome bull rush/awesome blow abilities to control the battlefield.

Also you brushed on something else which bothered me about this: the implication that a slowly-expanding tar pit and a portal to the plane of earth is going to destroy the world if the PCs don't stop it. Yes, the PCs could prevent a lot of harm by getting here first, but I feel like there are other powers in Golarion that would step in before things got too far out of hand. I don't mind mass-destruction-scenarios around level 10 but as written I don't quite buy this one.)

I didn't mean to give the impression that if the PCs failed, Golarion was doomed without anyone else ever attempting to stop it. Other powers and forces would fight Ayrzul, it would just be a lot harder once the Conduit opened, and the longer the Black Mirror has to spread, the harder it would be to deal with. Doing something with an epic feel for 7-11th level PCs, I wanted to make a serious, far-reaching threat, but not one that was "stop it right here, this instant, or the world blows up." I imagined that if the PCs failed, for whatever reason, they or a new group of characters could come back and try to finish the job with the aid of some of the region's powerful factions.

Thanks again to everyone who commented and voted. I really enjoy reading the encouragement, discussion, and critiques.

Just out of interest, anyone else going to be at Dreamation this weekend?

I have one suggestion on the Knave because of the one thing that bothers me, his callous disregard for innocent lives.

Your comment reminds me of a line in "A Song of Ice and Fire" along the lines of "when nobles play the game of thrones, the peasants always suffer." The fact that bad things will happen to the small folk when war is declared for whatever personal reasons motivate it in aSoFI never occurs to any of the nobles, not even the good guys. It's just the lot of commoners to be ground up in the grand designs of their rulers in this sort of society. I imagine most aristocrats in Taldor and Qadira take this for granted, and probably most peasants too. War can be a grand adventure, until you're in it.

The Knave suffers a lot more cognitive dissonance than regular aristocrats because he actually lives amongst the lower classes and deals with them. I imagine he rationalizes what he's doing to them with a combination of aristocratic callousness towards peasants and a feeling that the peasants will be better off in the long run under Qadiran rule than under their present Taldan masters, even if some suffer along the way.

There's also an active/passive element to this. The Knave doesn't typically hurt people himself if he can avoid it; instead, he sets up situations where people will hurt each other. He doesn't consider it his fault if other people act in violent or rash ways, even if they were provoked and are acting how he expected. I think that this way of dividing up moral responsibility is quintessentially CN.

I set myself a design goal when working on the Gentleman Knave: no madness, no evil rituals. Both of those are awesome, of course, but for this I decided to make a bad guy with plots and motivations grounded in pride, greed, revenge, lust, or politics. Space concerns caused me to simplify the Knave's motives to anger over lost ancestral lands leading to betrayal. I think his character is coherent with just that, but originally there was a more widespread element to his anger at Taldor.

Here's the long version of the Knave's backstory and motives: he was descended from Taldan nobles who were given to Qadira as hostages at the end of the last war. Hostage exchange was pretty common in medieval societies; the Venarys would have been essentially members of the Qadiran court, and treated with dignity and respect (although as their lives were hostage to the treaty). While Acton's family was stuck in Qadira, the patriarch of their family died back in Taldor, and the lands they should have inherited were taken by distant relatives and greedy neighbors. Because of this, even when Acton's family could have returned to Taldor under the terms of the treaty, they remained in Qadira and settled there; Acton might even have a little Qadiran blood in him, though not enough for his features to betray his Taldan good looks.

So Acton's family assimilated pretty happily into Qadiran nobility, but Acton didn't. Instead, as he grew up, he idealized Taldor, it's knights and chivalry, etc, and constantly compared Qadira unfavorably to Taldor. As soon as he reached the age of majority, Acton left Qadira to attend Taldan university. Actually being in Taldor shattered his illusions. The culture he imagined as chivalrous and honorable was instead corrupt, materialistic, hedonist, and decadent. He thought the Taldan nobles would welcome him as a lost brother, but instead they treated him as somewhere between a dangerous foreigner and an ignorant bumpkin. When he tried to bring suit against the people who had illegally taken his lands, he was nearly bankrupted by corrupt magistrates. He then attempted to get himself heard directly by the Grand Prince, but this was no more successful. His admiration for Taldan virtue curdled into hatred of its hypocrisy. Humiliated, Acton returned to Qadira and made contacts with those elements of the Qadiran nobility - the cult of the dawnflower, brash young officers, the Satrap himself - eager to teach Taldor a lesson it could never forget. Then he returned to Taldor and began his campaign as the Knave.

In this expanded version, Acton's personal anger at Taldor is coupled with a philosophical disgust with Taldan society like the islamist philosopher Sayyid Qutb (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sayyed_Qutb)'s critique of America, written after he studied in America for two years in 1948-1950. Acton's motives aren't inherently bad, and one could imagine a heroic reformer character inspired by similar events. That's part of why I made him chaotic neutral. What makes Acton (and Qutb) villainous is that he doesn't care if people get hurt because of his actions, and because he wants to subject a whole nation of mostly innocent people to collective punishment for slighting him and failing to live up to his expectations. Now that Taldor is his enemy, nobles who really are virtuous defenders of order have become stumbling blocks for the Knave to remove by any means necessary. The Knave is friendly with the peasants he works with and even likes them, but in the end it's no skin off his nose if they're killed by their lord as a result of his actions, or if the Qadiran army burns their fields and enslaves them.

So, I finally had my first RPG superstar themed nightmare. I submitted, went to bed, and dreamed about all sorts of things I'd left out or made mistakes in for my submission. Then I woke up and realized that all the things I had been dreaming about made no sense whatsoever. I wonder if my subconscious was trying to tell me something...

Do we get a confirmation e-mail that our map was received?

I've received one.

So, I dithered about posting to this thread, mostly because work + my round 4 entry were killing me, but also because it seemed like most of the issues that came up have been addressed. I enjoyed reading the analysis and criticism (not sure how that major magic prereq slipped by me...).

If there's interest, I can expand a bit on the Knave's motivations/backstory and the thought process behind them.

I THINK I'm done. Just finished adding the BBC codes. Not submitting yet; going to wait till I've slept so I can double check it and make sure my math and formatting aren't crazy off due to fatigue. REALLY didn't expect this round would cause as much sleep deprivation as it has. :-)

No kidding. I woke up this morning and I was like "I am so tired. It can't POSSIBLY be time to go to work." Two 3am weeknights will do that to ya...

The Black Mirror
==========
Amidst the barren sands of the Mana Wastes, there lies an inky stain: the Black Mirror, a lake of tar a mile wide. Everything is still here. No bird calls; no errant wind disturbs reflections on the lake’s oily skin. Only the carcasses of the giant golems that fell here puncture the lake’s surface, their desiccated limbs and faces forming islands in a dark sea. Voracek (R3), herald of the dark lord of Elemental Earth, has built his stronghold amidst this desolation. If his plans are not stopped, the power that felled the vast golems will return to smother all Golarion.

During his interminable war with the archmage Nex, the necromancer Geb constructed two enormous golems from the bones of giants and the skin of angels. Geb named them Bane Titans, and at his command the golems destroyed all that Nex could send against them. Fearful of their might, Nex compacted with an extraplanar power: dread Ayrzul, lord of Elemental Earth. Nex promised countless slaves and relics to the Fossilized King in return for his aid against the Bane Titans. Draining his vaults of skymetal, Nex constructed an artifact called the Conduit, through which Ayrzul could manifest his power on the material plane. On the battlefield, Nex’s servants activated the Conduit. Ayrzul’s wrath poured through as a sea of living tar, dragging the Bane Titans to the ground and destroying them.

But Ayrzul betrayed Nex. The Conduit did not close when the battle was won. More and more writhing tar gushed forth from the Conduit, accompanied by Ayrzul’s elemental host. Realizing that the endless tar would soon consume both their kingdoms, Nex and Geb briefly put aside their hostilities to fight the Fossilized King. The two wizard-kings drove Ayrzul’s forces back to the Conduit, and destroyed it. This done, they returned to their endless feud.

Although the tar became inanimate when the Conduit was destroyed, a vast quantity of it still remains, forming the Black Mirror. The lake stood silent for centuries until Voracek’s arrival. Atop the long-dead Bane Titans in the lake’s center, Voracek forced kidnapped smiths to forge his pilfered skymetal into a new Conduit. Soon it will open.

If the new Conduit becomes active, the Black Mirror will again be suffused with Ayrzul’s might, and his armies will return to Golarion. With the Conduit protected by Ayrzul’s horde, the Black Mirror will begin to spread. Left unchecked, it will cover the entire surface of Golarion, creating a new realm of Elemental Earth – one ruled by Voracek in Ayrzul’s name. Over millions of years - a blink of an eye for an immortal - the bones of everyone entombed beneath the tar will slowly become fossilized, slaves to the Fossilized King.

I. The Conduit (CR 10 or 13)
==========
Seven rune-encrusted platforms form a loop, anchored by bridges to the eyesocket of an enormous golem’s lifeless face, half-submerged in the tar. Above the loop floats a seven-pointed metallic star nearly 20 ft across. Its shape seems wrong, somehow, and it hurts your eyes to stare at it. The star spins slowly in the air, making a sound like a knifepoint scraping across glass.

There are seven slaves on the loop, one chained to each vertex by his ankle. They are smiths and mages abducted to build the Conduit. Months of brutal slavery have broken their wills. Now they perform a final service for Voracek: the ritual to open the Conduit (it cannot be performed by an outsider, native or otherwise).

Perception and Knowledge (arcana or religion) checks reveal more information. If a higher DC check is made, give the information from lower DCs as well.

Knowledge (arcana or religion):
DC 15 The metal star is the Conduit, forged from seven skymetals.
DC 20 The Conduit is boring through the boundary of the Material Plane into the Plane of Earth, and will finish in minutes if not stopped.
DC 25 Skymetal alloys disband when charged with enough positive energy (like healing magic)

Perception:
DC 15 The seven humans chanting hoarsely are chained to the platform by their ankles; they look haggard, miserable, and terrified.
DC 20 The ritual is near completion. A small sinkhole has appeared beneath the metal star and is rapidly widening.
DC 25 The metal star looks “wrong” because it is an impossible object whose angles and edges should not be able to meet in three dimensions .

Treat the surface of the Black Mirror as if it were quicksand (Pathfinder Roleplaying Game 427). However, earth-subtype outsiders, and anyone bearing a holy symbol of Ayrzul (like those in area G), can walk on or burrow through the tar as if it were earth. Fires lit on the Black Mirror do not extinguish normally; instead, at the end of a round, fire spreads to a random adjacent 5 ft. square.

Once this encounter begins, the PCs have 15 rounds until the sinkhole expands to the size of the Conduit, at which point Ayrzul’s power can manifest (see the Development section). Don’t penalize the PCs for scouting – if a scout makes the DC 20 Perception or Knowledge (arcana or religion) check, inform him that the ritual is nearly complete, but give the PCs time to arrive in force before starting the countdown. If the PCs delay, reduce the countdown to 10 rounds.

There are several ways to stop the Conduit. If four slaves are incapacitated, the ritual halts. The slaves have AC 12, 20 hp, Fort +4, Ref +3, Will +6. They can be killed, physically removed (they are held by standard manacles), or talked down. The slaves are terrified of Voracek; controlling them requires a DC 30 Diplomacy or Intimidate check; attempting to influence multiple slaves with one check inflicts a -2 penalty per additional slave. Once the Conduit is fully active, the slaves become irrelevant.

The Conduit can be broken. It has AC 6, hardness 15, and 60 hp; Fort +5, Ref +5, Will +5; and break DC 28. It is also 10 ft in the air above a rapidly-widening sinkhole of tar. The Conduit can support 300 additional pounds before falling. While the Conduit is intact, it cannot be pushed beneath the tar. Bringing the Conduit to the ground does not disrupt its activation, although it does make the Conduit easier to strike. If enough positive energy is poured into the Conduit to heal the equivalent of 60 hp, it disintegrates. Destroying the Conduit works even once it’s fully active.

Killing Voracek has no effect on the ritual or Conduit.

Creatures:

Voracek waits on the golem’s head, kneeling in prayer. Elementals wait burrowed under the tar by the bridge connecting the golem head to the loop.

When the PCs arrive, Voracek rises. “I knew you would come,” he says, “Ayrzul has sent you. You are the final tribulation I must face before I am exalted.” Voracek lacks the subtlety to stall effectively, but he will let the PCs waste time with idle threats. The elementals use earth glide to move close to the PCs while remaining beneath the tar. When combat begins, Voracek stamps his foot (an immediate action), signalling the elementals to attack.

Tier 7-8 (CR 10):

Voracek CR 9
XP 6,400
hp 116 (R3)
=====Tactics=====
During Combat Voracek crushes his elemental gem, then rages and attacks the strongest foe. He uses empowered strikes, power attack and destructive smites to quickly destroy opponents. He uses knockback to pitch foes into the tar. Voracek uses dispel magic or summoned creatures against flying foes.
Morale: To defend the Conduit, Voracek fights to the death.

Large Earth Elementals (2) CR 5
XP 1,600 each
hp 68 each (Pathfinder RPG Bestiary 122)
=====Tactics=====
During Combat: the elementals herd foes away from the Conduit, bull rushing them into the tar and fighting there.

Tier 10-11 (CR 13):

Voracek CR 9
XP 6,400
hp 116 (R3)
See above.

Greater Earth Elementals (2) CR 9
XP 6,400 each
hp 136 each (Pathfinder RPG Bestiary 123)
=====Tactics=====
During Combat: the elementals herd foes away from the Conduit, using awesome blow to knock them into the tar and fighting there. If the Conduit is under direct attack, they defend it.

Huge Earth Elementals (2) CR 7
XP 3,200 each
hp 95 each (Pathfinder RPG Bestiary 122)
=====Tactics=====
During Combat: See large earth elementals above.

Development: If the Conduit is fully opened, 1d4 large (Tier 7-8) or huge (Tier 10-11) earth elementals emerge from the sinkhole each round. The Black Mirror becomes animate. Treat this as a black tentacles spell (CL 8th) affecting the entire surface of the lake. It does not impede earth-subtype outsiders or those bearing Ayrzul’s holy symbol. If dispelled while the Conduit is open, the tendrils return 1d4 rounds later.

All of these effects cease immediately if the Conduit is destroyed. If the PCs fail to stop to the Conduit, the Black Mirror also begins to expand, increasing its diameter by 5 ft every hour and eventually threatening all Golarion.

Question: If I were to use a villain who prepares spells daily, could I alter the default spells s/he has prepared for the encounter?

Map, villain, Golarion location, and hand at making combats for two different CRs... you have your hands full, contestants! Good luck, you'll need it :)

After 400 and 600 word limits, though, 1500 feels like enough for a novel...

I just wanted to say good luck in the voting to everyone. Now that it is under way, I think I'm going to take a few days off from the boards, rest and relax since there's nothing I can do until the results come out. Last round, I had the bad habit of checking in every five minutes. Trying to detox myself this round from the boards. So, good luck everyone!

A wise policy. We'll see if I have the force of will to do the same!

So, is it just me, or is Nyrissa just not all that evil?

The lords of the First World ripped her heart out and killed her husband for no legitimate reason. Her desire for revenge is very sympathetic. Furthermore, her evil plan isn't all that evil - sure, it would be kind of annoying to be faced with the choice of leaving your home in the Stolen lands or being trapped in the stolen lands for ever, but no one has to get hurt or killed for it to work. For the record, I think this moral ambiguity is very cool.

As my PCs learn about her, I think there's a significant chance that they'll be all "screw the first world bosses!" and want to help Nyrissa, even if they don't quite want to go along with bottling their kingdom.

It seemed strange to me that Nyrissa contacted every two-bit lord in the stolen lands and tried to seduce them, but doesn't bother with the PCs. So I had Nyrissa appear in dreams to the party's ranger, the one who is wearing the Stag Lord's helm. He resisted her temptations, but managed to get her hooks into our Warlock another way.

Has anyone dealt with portraying Nyrissa as more sane and sympathetic in their games? Any tips or pitfalls?

So, my group is in the middle of Rivers Run Red. The plot has been derailed a bit by a succession struggle touched off by the death and subsequent reincarnation of the baron, but it's producing awesome games so I don't really care too much. We have:

Baron Isha - CN Ranger 6. A man of the wilderness, Isha is diffident and cautious by nature; he has recently come to realize that his comrades have little respect for him as a result. In truth he is a good man and stout of heart, but is easily cowed by his friends. He succeeded Baron Vladimir as ruler of Volkstagg due to the machinations of Magnar Varn, and is engaged to one of the Magnar's many daughters.

"Olga" - LE Fighter 6. Baron Vladimir, a harsh and cunning man, and an aspiring Aldori duelist, was the first ruler of Volkstagg. After his ignominous death at the hands of a giant he was hunting, he was reincarnated as a mysterious young woman. Now he bides his time in the choppy political waters, waiting to reclaim his crown.

Franco Orlovsky - NG Cleric 6 (Pharasma). Kind, compassionate, and righteous when roused to anger, the minor noble Franco has kept the party alive in many dire situations. He leads a small cult of archaeologist-priests who serve Pharasma and seek to plumb the secrets of death. Furious at the recent murders committed by the warlock Volosh, he is leading the hunt for his former comrade.

Valdis Vines - LN Druid 6. A Medveyev bastard (all bastards from the Medveyev region are given the surname "Vines"), Valdis was raised by the Medveyev family, who he despises. Fatalistic and somewhat cruel, Valdis does not permit the followers of Erastil to worship at the shrine to the god he has proclaimed as his grove. He is currently raising a mysterious, deformed child given to him by the Medveyev druidic circle.

Volosh Vines - CN Warlock 6. Another Medveyev bastard, though more distantly related, and raised on the street. As a youth, he was part of the same criminal gang as Vladimir. Fiercely loyal but ruthless and bloody-minded, Volosh murdered several of his enemies while they were indulging themselves at a brothel, and is now on the run.

Ok so I've started RRR and a problem has arisen that I was expecting with my group.

I knew they would run back out and explore even after being given the charter. I keep having npcs stress that there is no rush, but they figure it would be smart to know what lies in the areas (hexes) around the fort. I can't really fault them for it, but so far it's only been 2 months that have passed and they've explored around 10 hexes since receiving the charter to colonize.

What can I do to keep them at home?

Here's what I did:

I talked to my players OOC and said "hey guys, one of the cool things about Kingmaker is that it takes place over the course of several years. So although I know you guys want to keep exploring like crazy, how would you guys feel about only exploring say 1 hex per month for the first year - we'll assume the rest of your time is spent governing; that way we'll have time for the kingdom to grow and the characters to develop as leaders a bit before we blow through this adventure?"

Asking players to buy into the assumptions of the module is the easiest way to do things. Mine were happy to agree, and RRR has run smoothly so far.

So, first off, I’d just like to reiterate that the level of insight in this thread is really high – several times, I would wish I could say something, only to realize that someone I’ve never met had figured out what I was trying to do with a particular mechanic or decision (to say nothing of the many fair and accurate criticisms).

The inspiration for this class was the Duneyin from R. Scott Bakker’s Prince of Nothing series, a terrifying, isolated order of manipulative monks. They seem more suited to villainous dark fantasy, but I loved how they used their understanding of other people and themselves to be dangerous both on and off the battlefield. I decided to make a monk who focused on Wisdom/Sense Motive, and traded supernatural perfection of the body for the perfection of his mind and his understanding of other people.

A lot of the discussion in this thread centered around whether or not the archetype is overpowered or underpowered, and several people argued each side. The glib answer would be for me to say that this disagreement means that the class is balanced, but I don’t think it’s that simple. The balance of the Still-Water Meditant was hard to gage because he gives up passive abilities for active ones, physical abilities for social ones, abilities that allow you to affect the combat mechanics for ones that affect the game’s fiction.

I’m fairly confident that Ride the Current and Flow Like Water are balanced. They’re high enough level to discourage dips from other classes. More importantly, however, they have a hidden drawback that balances them: as Azmahael pointed out, they take a move action, meaning you can’t use them in the same round as flurry of blows. This serves to restrict them to occasional use in situations where they’re crucial. Although there are some monk builds that would take further advantage of these abilities, those builds would essentially forsake using flurry of blows – and effectively trading flurry for those two abilities is more than fair.

Read the Ripples and Quench Suspicions are trickier, and depending on the kind of game you like to play/run, I could see them being more or less powerful than what they replace. I do think that trading a passive ability that only comes into play sometimes for an active ability you can use whenever is a significant upgrade, which is why I made River Changes Course weaker than the ability it replaces (to compensate for the earlier abilities).

Finally, I wanted to mention some critiques that are right on the money.

Read the ripples needed a duration – I would say it lasts for as long as you remain concentrating while looking at the target’s face.

Replacing Still Mind was unfortunate; I knew it, I did it anyway, and I deserved to get dinged for it. All the other low-level abilities scaled, though, which made them much stronger than Read the Ripples; I couldn’t find a cleaner solution in the end.

Nicholas Quimby and Matt Goodall's point about the DC on Quench Suspicions is well-taken, it should scale like a normal class ability.

In response to Quandry, the reason the charm effects are Sp instead of Su is so that they don’t ignore spell resistance. I agree that it reads oddly. The power bump is probably minor enough that it could be changed, though it makes the effect quite a bit better against high-level fighty types.

Lastly, I really like Neil’s suggestion for replacing River Changes Course. Using combat maneuvers instead of attacks of opportunity might be too strong, since some of the combat maneuvers then grant further attacks of opportunity themselves if you go far enough down the feat tree (trip). If that turns out to be unbalanced, maybe something like “a number of times/day equal to your wisdom modifier, after an opponent strikes at you and misses in melee combat, you may use a combat maneuver against that opponent as an attack of opportunity.”

Thanks again to everyone who took the time to read and comment!

Submitted last night before going to bed. It's going to be a long four days till tuesday.

Looking forward to seeing what you guys have up your sleeves!

The Gentleman Knave
Portrait: 10
Description: At the mention of the Gentleman Knave, ladies swoon, peasants cheer, and merchants glower. Tall and dashing, this honorable bandit is the terror of Taldor’s highways and the toast of its taverns. In secret, however, he is a traitor loyal to an enemy nation, and his plans will see Taldor burn.

Motivations/Goals: The Knave was born Acton Venarys, in Qadira. Descended from Taldan nobility given as hostages after the last war, Acton dreamed of reclaiming the Venarys lands in Taldor. When he traveled there, however, the Grand Prince refused to hear his suit, and the nobility ostracized him. Furious, Acton swore to see Qadira humble Taldor.

Today, as the Gentleman Knave, Acton lays the groundwork for a Qadiran invasion. From his base in the Verduran Forest, the Knave disrupts trade and travel, provoking and exhausting Taldor’s men-at-arms. He spreads stolen wealth amongst the poor, growing his legend and inviting brutal reprisals against the peasantry. He undermines popular lords by framing them or their men for bloody crimes. The Knave’s ultimate goal is to foment an uprising against the aristocracy. With Taldan forces occupied by an insurrection, the Knave’s high-ranking Qadiran allies will push for a swift, devastating invasion.

Schemes/Plots/Adventure Hooks:
- One of several fabulous gemstones stolen by the Knave from the merciless Count Galanos turns up in a nearby village. The PCs have only days to recover the rest before Galanos burns the village for its “defiance.”
- The Lion Blade Menas Dimitrion suspected the Knave’s treason, and entered the Verduran Forest to find proof. He never returned. The PCs are commissioned to find Dimitrion.
- Serfs calling themselves the Knave’s Men have seized the town of Faldamont, threatening to execute local nobility if the army intervenes. Can the PCs prevent the Knave’s machinations from causing a massacre?

The Gentleman Knave CR 9
Male human rogue (rake, APG 134) 10
CN Medium humanoid (human)
Init +5; Senses Perception +12
=====Defense=====
AC 25, touch 16, flat-footed 19 (+5 armor, +5 Dex, +1 dodge, +4 shield)
hp 78 (10d8 + 30)
Fort +5, Ref +13, Will +5
Defensive Abilities evasion, improved uncanny dodge
=====Offense=====
Spd 30 ft.
Melee +1 rapier +13/+8 (1d6+1/18-20)
Ranged shortbow +12 (1d6/x3)
Special Attacks sneak attack +5d6
Spell-Like Abilities (CL 10th)
2/day – vanish (DC 13)
=====Tactics=====
Before Combat: Unless surprised, the Gentleman Knave casts shield before fighting.
During Combat: The Knave and his band of thieves prefer to strike quickly and disappear. In pitched battle, he challenges noble opponents to single combat; if refused, he targets spellcasters. He feints and uses bravado’s blade. The Knave is merciful unless his secret is threatened – then he fights to kill.
Morale: The Knave flees immediately if badly outnumbered. Otherwise, he fights until another day triggers, then retreats with vanish. If cornered he surrenders graciously, planning to escape later.
=====Statistics=====
Str 10 Dex 20 Con 12 Int 14 Wis 8 Cha 14
Base Atk +7/+2; CMB +7; CMD 23
Feats Combat Expertise, Dodge, Improved Feint, Iron Will, Toughness, Weapon Finesse
Skills Acrobatics +18, Bluff +18, Diplomacy +18, Disguise +15, Escape Artist +18, Intimidate +15, Knowledge (local) +10, Perception +12, Sense Motive +12, Sleight of Hand +13, Stealth +18, Use Magic Device +15
Languages Common, Kelish, Goblin
SQ bravado’s blade, rake’s smile, rogue talents (another day, befuddling strike, major magic, offensive defense, surprise attack)
Combat Gear potion of cure serious wounds (2); Other Gear +1 mithral shirt, +1 rapier, shortbow, belt of incredible dexterity +2, cloak of resistance +1, entertainer’s outfit, wand of disguise self (27 charges), wand of shield (39 charges), 297 gp

I have a question about the rules for this round:

Are we required to set the CR at class level -1 (or whatever), or can we assign CR as appropriate based on stats, HP, etc?

Now that the gag order and voting is over, I just wanted to thank the posters in this thread for their kind words and also for the very well-thought-out criticisms. And, of course, everyone who voted for me!

If I have some time after I get a draft of my Round 3 entry together, I'll post a bit about my design decisions and some criticisms that hit home.

I ran a wordcount on the villain submission format template offered (http://paizo.com/rpgsuperstar/round3Rules/villainFormat). It's 676 words.

Obviously some of the sections are a little longer than necessary to list all the things they could contain, but that's surely outweighed by the fact that there's no wordspace devoted to descriptive text/motivation/hooks in the submission template.

This should be interesting...

Last night we just hit our 2nd winter in Kingmaker. (I all-but-prohibit adventuring in winter, so next session will likey get us to spring and thus the 1st anniversay of Founding Day! Or they'll spend all winter doing RP-only urban quests...) It's been slow going, but we've had a lot of fun developing our characters and defining our setting. I swear that the Kingdom's Baron is putting himself on the fasttrack to be the next Runelord of Pride. It's great!

My kingmaker session this week was cancelled due to snow. We're on Rivers Run Red, in the kingdom's second summer. The game has gotten extremely political... but next session they're going to discover that the denizens of the wilderness have not been idle. Assuming they manage to hold onto control of their own kingdom, that is.

Yeah, that's basically what I was thinking too. I apologize if anyone sees this as rude, but I do intend to go back and comment on the items eventually, plus each future round.

I apologize if this has been explained elsewhere, but what exactly are the restrictions on our commenting during voting? Are we just supposed to stay out of the archetype threads, or do we need to keep mum altogether?

Well, I've been to House on the Rock. I'm not exactly sure what I think of it. It's pretty much a nifty little tourist trap.

I grew up in Madison, and I've been to the House on the Rock as well. I thought it was amazing, though. WI is full of weird, awesome sites like that. House on the Rock is the biggest and probably the coolest, but the Forevertron, a machine for the transmigration of souls surrounded by a junkyard full of monsters sculpted from scrap metal, is a close second.

BTW, if you're looking for a game, have you tried nearbygamers.com? There seem to be at least a few people in the Milwaukee area.

I'm onto you Mark! I'm sure you'll make us use each others archtypes for our villains.

There would be a certain delicious symmetry to that, wouldn't there?

Whew! Done and submitted, with literally not a word to spare. I can't believe it took me until 3 in the morning... whenever I was looking it over for the "final" time I kept turning up glaring errors to fix. Hopefully I didn't miss anything. Regardless, time for sleep.

Still-Water Meditant (Monk)
The Still-Water Meditant seeks enlightenment through studying human nature. The monk learns to discern a man’s true thoughts from his face and predict his movements from his body, while she herself strives to be like still waters: placid, remote, and unknowable.
Read the Ripples (Ex)
At 3rd level, the Still-Water Meditant can read a humanoid or monstrous humanoid’s surface thoughts from up to 20' away by observing his face. This takes 30 seconds and requires an opposed Sense Motive check against the target’s Bluff. This ability replaces still mind.
Ride the Current (Ex)
At 4th level, the Still-Water Meditant can analyze an opponent’s fighting rhythm with Sense Motive and strike when he’s off-balance. This is a move action that denies the target his Dexterity bonus to AC against the monk’s next attack. The DC of this check is 10 + the target’s base attack bonus + his Charisma modifier or 10 + his Bluff bonus, whichever is higher. This ability replaces all slow fall abilities.
Quench Suspicions (Sp)
At 5th level, the Still-Water Meditant can use ki to manipulate others, as if using the spell charm person. This is a standard action consuming 1 point of ki. Her caster level for this effect is her monk level, and the save DC is 11 + her Wisdom modifier. She may have only one creature charmed at a time, and the monk uses Wisdom instead of Charisma in opposed checks to command him. At 9th level, and every second level thereafter, the monk chooses an additional type of creature to target with quench suspicions. Targeting a non-humanoid creature consumes an additional ki point. At 11th level, the save DC increases by +3, and the duration to 1 day/level. This ability replaces high jump, purity of body and diamond body.
Flow Like Water (Ex)
At 7th level, when the Still-Water Meditant readies an action, she need not specify what action she will take, or its trigger. The monk may use her readied action at any time before her next turn, and may interrupt any character's action after it has been declared. This ability replaces wholeness of body.
River Changes Course (Sp)
At 12th level, the Still-Water Meditant can influence a creature as if using the spell suggestion. This is a standard action consuming 2 points of ki. Her caster level for this effect is her monk level, and the save DC is 13 + her Wisdom modifier. This ability replaces abundant step.
Submerge Spirit (Su)
At 19th level, the Still-Water Meditant’s consciousness is so tranquil that it cannot be distinguished from the world around it. She permanently gains the benefits of the spell mind blank. This ability replaces empty body.

Hey! I'm Sam, and this is my first year entering this contest. I'm 24, working for the gubmint in DC until I go off to law school in the fall.

I've been gaming since sixth grade or so, when one of my friends brought a copy of Shadowrun 2e home from summer camp. These days I'm running the Kingmaker adventure path, which is excellent, and also playing a lot of small press non-traditional rpgs. Skipping game night to work on your archetype feels like the definition of irony...

Outside of gaming I spend my time playing guitar, doing improv, reading, or talking/arguing about politics (it's the local sport of choice in DC, especially since all our actual teams suck).

Working on archetypes is fun, but hard. The more time I spend on it, the more I realize how tricky of a design problem it is, and how many considerations there are to balance by tomorrow. I'm definitely excited and honored to be doing this, and I hope you guys will get a kick out of what I can cook up. My kingmaker players are all looking to add archetypes to their PCs, so I'm really looking forward to seeing the rest of the Top 32 as well.

Northern hemisphere summer? I studied in Stellenbosch, just outside of Cape Town, but am now living on the East Coast. I'll be in Cape Town in April/May though. BTW, our (rather small) con season runs through our winter (Cape Town normally gets one about August-ish).

Cool. Somehow I only ever get to visit SA during June-July when everything can be a bit overcast and soggy. Still beautiful, though.

I'll probably be there in July, so no local con for me (though maybe it's for the best... family would NOT be pleased if I contemplated going).

Congratulations to everyone, and hello! This should be a lot of fun (though I predict productivity at work this week will be low). I've enjoyed reading everyone else's crazy items, and I'm looking forward to seeing some badass archetypes in a week or two.

I grew up in Madison, WI, but I live in Arlington, VA these days and work in DC.

I've seen more than enough snow to last me a lifetime, but given how DC basically shuts down completely with an inch or two of snow, I wouldn't mind a nice blizzard to get me a few days off work...

Jerall, where in SA are you from? My mom is from Cape Town, and I'll probably be going there to visit family this summer.

Not really a comment on the item, but the title commes close to an existing published novel. 'The Book of Night with Moon' by Diane Duane.

Other than the simularity in names and the fact that both refer to magic books, there is no connection or overlap in concept.

Oh, man, I haven't thought about that series since middle school... I wonder if that was a subconscious influence for the name? I'll try to be more careful about that in the future.

Thanks, for both the kind words and the incisive criticism. I'm excited to be in the top 32! Now to go dream up an archetype...

Aura Moderate Illusion CL 8th
Slot ---; Price 15,000 gp Weight 1 lb. Description
This black grimoire's pages are mostly blank, but a few contain rough watercolor silhouettes. The Book of Night Without Moon is a repository for trapped shadows. To sever a shadow from its owner and add it to the book, a character must place the book in the shadow of a willing or helpless victim with 5 or fewer hit dice, and trace the shadow’s outline in ashes, a simple ritual taking 5 minutes. A creature whose shadow is stolen must make a DC 18 will save or be sickened by a nameless melancholy until its shadow is returned.

As a standard action, the book’s bearer may release a shadow from the book, conjuring an illusory duplicate of the shadow’s owner as if with the spell Shadow Conjuration (DC 18 will save to recognize that the conjuration is an illusion). The shadow is intelligent and can follow complex commands, but cannot speak. The shadow serves the character who released it for one hour or until destroyed, whichever comes first. Then the shadow returns instantly and permanently to its original owner, wherever he or she may be. It will not return to the book and may not be stolen again.

A Book of Night Without Moon purchased or found as treasure will have 2d6 shadows present inside it, chosen by the DM from the Summon Monster IV list.

Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Shadow Conjuration Cost 7,500 gp