Priest of Asmodeus

IBDessiter of the Phistophilus's page

1 post. Alias of increddibelly.


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You notice a distinct smell of sulphur, the temperature in the room rises by a good 5 degrees. A circular cloud of black smoke puffs into existence. As it clears, it reveals a round, 2ft diameter window into what can only be Hell. A familiar yet condescending* voice speaks quickly, in a mind-numbing, near constant drone of syllables:

Infernal:
"I do so hate it when this hap pens. Why is it that short-lived mor tals con sis tent ly make so much ef fort to live shor ter yet?"

Dessiter (you may recall his rather unique appearance from when you first signed your contract with the Cardinal) extends one of his arms and another document unfolds from a sleeve. Just, but only just, in time to catch Letho's drop in an obnoxiously lazy manner on an entirely different document.
Infernal:
"If you were al lowed to con tin ue the re per cus sions would not have been o ver see a ble least of all by your in ex per i enced per so nas. I shall re quire a fa vor from our Car di nal to make up for this tor ti ous in ter fe rence. The in tent of your act ions is pain ful ly ob vi ous so please sirs al low me to en sure pro per pro to col is fol lowed."

In an instant, Dessiter withdraws his document and arm, while the window is already closing.
There isn't much time to recover from your surprise, as Letho's name on your copy of the contract bursts in flame, and runes crawl over it to seal it in place.

WTF just happened?:
The blood needs to go on the original, which is in Dessiter's posession. If you edit your personal copy of the contract, you'll be automatically convicted of all sorts of forgery within seconds, which would not be ...healthy. Dessiter saved you - but he only did it so he can extort a favor from your Cardinal.

* condescending would be an understatement. Then again, most of the time spent learning Infernal goes into understanding the vocative cases, in other words, the endless forms of referring to others.
Protocol is everything, but practically every other word is condescending. Think of devils as the worst bunch of lawyers, being allowed to construct a bureaucracy for themselves, which has only one purpose namely to ensure that the lawyers who made the laws can remain in place. There's no logic, there's no understanding, there's just cold hard knowledge, and lots of opportunities to fail.
For example, there's no such thing as "he" in Infernal; there are at least a thousand forms of "other-who-is-superior", and probably several thousands that suggest "other-who-is-lesser". And then there's all the variations of "other who is not present but superior" et cetera, ad infinitum.
Calling a barbed devil "Most Vile Specialist" instead of "Utmost Vile Specialist" would be a seen as a grievous insult, punishable by being fed to Lemure Devils.