Hannibal Lecter's page

And you are right, what could go wrong?

Hogwash. Everyone knows that kuru is caused by cell towers.

I’ll fetch the Chianti.

pours oil all over his taut 38 year old body

Ideal for grilling.

Indeed, slow cooking is superior for the older or fattier specimens.

College freshmen?

taig wrote:

Celestial Healer wrote:

Freehold DM wrote:

Ragadolf wrote:

Sorry about the bike Kaj.

What is it with people today? They think anything NOT nailed down is free for the taking?

And in some cases, even if it IS nailed down! :/

It is my humble opinion that those who take property that does not belong to them, should be beaten with said property.

Just a thought.

It makes me smile.

Have a good (Or at least better) day everyone!

:)

finding the guys who stole my bikes and beating them to death makes me feel warm and toasty inside. I probably should not smile as much as I do at the prospect, but my god...it turns my frown upside down.

Then again, killing them is so...pedestrian. I mean, once you kill someone, they are dead. But you can break someone so many, many times before it gets old. I want hear them beg for mercy that will not come until they least expect it, to give them hope that I will snatch away at the least opportune moment, repeatedly, until they become a shadow of their former selves, not recognizing the person they see in the mirror every day. I want to make them look upon me and despair, to see the sun each day and know only regret.

So, basically the same as your plans for Joss Whedon?

Freehold has been watching the Saw series for additional ideas on handling Joss Whedon.

I hear he's also got a well in a creepy basement. "It rubs the lotion on it's skin, or else it gets the hose again."

Do you know why Freehold wears their skins?

Girl 1: oh, captain yesterday looks delicious, I think we should eat him.

Me: (laughs) well, I'd like to make a character before he dies.

Girl 2: maybe we should fry up his ears.

Me (now kind of nervous): okay, you're not serious..

Girl 1's boyfriend enters room smoking angel dust laced joint: yeah, they're serious, we're gonna eat ya man.

Me: the f~#~ you are!

Girl 1: oh totally, it's going to be magical..

By that time, I was running and didn't hear the rest.

Clearly I'm gaming with the wrong crowds.

taig wrote:

Hi Patrick.

Did you get "it"? (if not, check your email inbox)

I did! You are the bomb-diggedy dire badger!

Dances around in his skin cape

He likes to wear their skin...

Bill, Brain Collector wrote:

Would you like me to hold it for you?

No thank you, I don't want any more brain problems please.

Brains aren't just for thinking.

Not in the same dish, I trust?

EDIT: I mean asparagus and strawberries, not your mothers, just to be clear :)

This thread is an endless stream of disappointments.

yellowdingo wrote:

Yellowdingo tasers Hama: "she puts the lotion on her skin."

It puts the lotion on its skin. Dehumanizing the victim keeps any shred of your own humanity that you have left from nagging you when you commit atrocities. It's in the handbook.

Well I am glad somebody has read the handbook I wrote.

:O

I...
...I do not want to put the lotion in the basket :(

That was Buffalo Bill. I just want to eat your kidneys.

What's all the fuss?

The Eldritch Mr. Shiny wrote:

Aberzombie wrote:

Am I the only one who regularly hears the term "Put the monkey back in the box" spoken in his house?

It could be worse. It could be "Put the monkey back in the box or it gets the hose again."

PUT THE F#*!ING MONKEY IN THE BASKET!!

Do you know why he wears their monkey skins?

Good evening, Clarice.

*does weird tongue thing*

Emperor7 wrote:

Klaus van der Kroft wrote:

My personal belief is that everyone has something good to contribute. You just need to find the way to get it out of them.

Human bodies form many good nutrients for the soil, allowing plants of all types to thrive. Mmmmm...humans....

Rrrrmmmmmm...!

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

I had a hippy go bad once. I was storing him in the freezer but the power went out while I was on vacation. When I got back, he had spoiled. I hate wasting food.

I once ate a queen's arm.

What's a bandit sausage?

It's not made out of bandits, I hope?

Speak for yourself...

Don Juan de Doodlebug wrote:

......and hand lotion. Hmmm.

"It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again."

Do you know WHY he takes their skin?

I ate his liver with some fans beans and a fine chianti.

Vicon wrote:

Yay! Thanks Taig (and all others) for the well wishes, folks!

And Urizen, I'm all for it getting Cenobitey as long as it's more Ceno than bitey.

You know what, until I look up what Ceno really means I should keep my trap shut...

<pushes up glasses.>

It's the first-person singular present tense of cenare, which is Italian for hav[ing] dinner or to dine.

I reckon Hannibal Lecter will be along soon.

I like to have friends for dinner regularly.

Chris Lambertz wrote:

Cosmo I like my skin.

did Cosmo get the hose again?

Why do you think he removes their skins, Chris Lambertz? Enthrall me with your acumen.

Excuse me - did somebody drop of a book for me?

Why can't people be snackier, instead?

Mmmmm...

*contemplates wine pairings*

Advocating Devil wrote:

Do all people taste the same, or does the flavor vary from region to region?

And as a related question, when one turns into a zombie, how does that affect one's ability to taste? As one who enjoys a good meal and good drink, if my sense of taste went, I think that would really suck. Of course, then again, seeing what zombies eat ...

I'll answer these questions in reverse.

Most zombies do lose their sense of taste. More powerful ones, such as myself can find their sense of taste only slightly degraded.

The taste of people is heavily affected by different factors: climate, diet, health, shoe size, etc. I have some cannibal friends among the living who are amazing in their ability to tell a lot about their food just from a single taste.

Case and point, this gentleman's brain has the savory base typical of Midwesterners. Probably of German descent, with a touch of Italian... no... Greek. There is an acidic bite that tells me he probably drank too much caffeine. He wasn't self-medicating, but there is a hint of prescription MAOI-Inhibitors. The consistency suggests he was under a lot of stress in the months leading up to this consumption...

But since you mention it, dear Solnes, which of my aliases do you find... creepy? Surely not the grandfatherly Hannibal Lecter. I thought you had better... taste...

Freehold DM wrote:

Thirteen pounds!? I have got to but Moorlucks mom a drink -that's a heroic childbirth.

She doesn't drink. :P

Bigger than our Thanksgiving turkey :P

And twice as delicious!

I would whack a mole, but homo sapiens are so much more delectable.

I can't wait to hear the sound of your voice.

Just a reminder - tomorrow is once again Eat Your Own Clone Day.

Why reserve it for just one day a year?

Sara Marie wrote:

Gary: if i tried to push all that info into my brain something important would get squished out

I'd pay good money to see that happen.

Are you going to eat that?

you gonna eat that?...

With some fava beans and a nice Chianti.

Tordek Rumnaheim wrote:

Good morning FAWTLYs! Hope you all have a good week.

In other news, I just hid my first thread.

Good evening.....

Good evening, Clarice.

Studpuffin wrote:

Time for chicken!!!

Cannibal!

Every time SP eats a chicken wing, I get a royalty check.

Tordek Rumnaheim wrote:

Happy Birthday Celestial Healer! Take some time from your preparations of your big move to enjoy it!

According to FB, CH apparently shares his Birthday with Zuxius...

It's a special day.

I can't wait to hear the sound of Celestial Healer's voice...

Celestial Healer wrote:

The Jade wrote:

Plus sized models make women fat, but only if women eat them.

Once again, The Jade FTW.

I swear you stay up at night thinking of this stuff...

I can't believe Dr. Lecter hasn't chimed in yet. ;)

No, the plus-sized ones have too much white meat.

Why is censorship more popular than killing? What is wrong with you people?!?

...

*eats taig*

Mmmmm.....

Hannibal Lecter wrote:

Aberzombie wrote:

It rubs the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again.

He wears their skins, you see...

Hey Doc, when are you going to be on Iron Chef? The secret ingredient is the other chefs.

Everthing goes better with fava beans.

It rubs the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again.

He wears their skins, you see...

Hello Lindisity <Hannibel Lecter>

Welcome to Fawtl, feel free to kick your shoes off and enjoy the festivites. We do have certain rules in our little corner of the boards though, No Politics, No Religion, And we do flirt and play, sometimes crudely, We take no offense here.

Care to throw your hat in with us? :)

EDIT: And the Lady Solnes would like to remind everyone that she has temporarily resended our Football ban, unless you're a Steelers fan. ;)

Do you still hear them screaming?

Urizen wrote:

Crimson Jester wrote:

Moff Rimmer wrote:

Quick question (especially for those of you with little ones...)

** spoiler omitted **

** spoiler omitted **

** spoiler omitted **

Maybe with some fava beans?

Mmmm.

Ambrosia Slaad wrote:

It puts the turtleneck on it's skin, or it gets the Snooki again.

PUT THE f&%~ING LOTION IN THE BASKET!!!

** spoiler omitted **

Good morning, Aberzombie.

Can you still hear them screaming?

If anybody has any extra...

Sara Marie wrote:

Moff Rimmer wrote:

Then there is this...

I mean -- NOTHING says "Christmas" like hits like "What do you get a Wookie for Christmas..."

So how many of you geeks out there own this besides me?

timidly raises hand

I knew there was a reason I liked you...

I can't wait to hear the sound of her voice.

Celestial Healer wrote:

Also, the guests we had for dinner last night liked the leek and potato soup and the pasta primavera with white wine and butter sauce.

You ate your guests for dinner last night after feeding them!!!!! Cannibal!!! :D

What can I say? When I dine at the home of Celestial Healer, I make certain requests...

Solnes wrote:

Tossed Slaad wrote:

Solnes wrote:

bored...entertain me!

*rides in on a unicycle juggling a cat, a pot of hot tea, a grenade, and a bouquet of petunias while playing Hail to the Chief on a panflute*

*yawn*

*rides in on Ward's back, hitting him with a riding crop*

*bites off June's nose*

Do forgive my tardiness. I had to attend to some meat that was going to spoil. I've brought a chianti. Excellent vintage. It seems the perfect pairing for Celestial Follower's menu. Angel Fish, your bowl smells of cheap perfume and shame. Shall we dine?

What's the best wine pairing for a human brain?