Search Posts
So, there's a thread where someone is asking for advice because the Paladin is f#*$ing skulls.I'd recommend lube. If it's fresh enough, there is already juices from the eyes. If it's not fresh, you're doing it wrong.
I'm lost. Who? EDIT - OH, you mean the mother claimant?
I too had no idea you were so young, nor that you have spent a decade or thereabouts here. I now want to go back and read some of your more youthful posts, and see just how precocious you were as a 13 year old. Or thereabouts. *clicks on "posts" for KC* *clicks on "last*"*scans* ....you didn't know what Darksun or Ravenloft were? Aw, that's adorable.
33. Please chase those goblins out of your tech room already so they stop chewing up the tech. This...this shouldn't be so complicated. But it's so delicious!
I've been trying to cancel Kobold Cleaver since before I spawned him. It's not too late. I have the same coathanger you used then. The only difference is now we're gonna have to tie him down first. You know he won't stick to a thread about him for more than three, maybe four pages.
This is seriously the most f***ed up family.
Conceptually, what horrible activities transpired to make such a creature hurt my mind. Proposing that a human and a kobold...ugh. ALL kinds of ugh. Also, there's the kobold bloodline sorcerer, so you could also take the eldrich heritage feat with that....With your abomination of a creature that is a sin against Gozreh.
Prolly cause it's true.
Hell... For the right price, I'll s+@! out some coffee beans for you.Well something's gonna crap out my coffee, and I can't be depended on for it.I wanna try that coffee that's digested by monkeys, who then s%@@ it out, which people then sift out so they can roast them immediately.I thought it was civits. STOP CALLING ME COFFEE BEANS!!
Hey, at least I had the running gag about tons of babies popping out left and right to enjoy, and enjoy it I did, like a slow smoked baby goblin sandwich, because, really, what else do you expect me to do with a readily available source of meat? Raise it? I think not!
Sigh...how do you keep happy just being a aliases? I find it kind of depressing. It's an excuse to role play another personality or an often ignored aspect of your personality. Truly, the best ones are multifaceted and deep. But one dimensional jokes are fun as well, if they're a good enough joke. I forgot this wonderful little parody Bastard! I had a lot of fun with him!
I heard KC isn't actually a kobold, but just a halfling who took way too much krokodil.
Apparently. A few pages back you said you had a dalliance with a goblin king. I exclaimed I was royalty. Wow...those black outs last a while, do they?
Preposterous. Kobold Cleaver is a Miracle Whip type of kobold. :-) It's actually store brand. What I want to know is if that is a boil or a mole, or what?
Also, what are the logins & passwords to both your cellphone and your cloud account filled with incriminating and/or embarrassing photos?What the goblin said, though they're mostly pictures of Comrade Anklebiter cavorting with bankers and corporate fatcats. I was going to blackmail him with them, but it turns out he's dead broke. What about the one of...you know...you...with the thing...under your tail...and the bottle of mayonnaise?
Unfortunately, it not being Tucker's Goblins, I'm not 100% sure, but... I doubt it. Kobolds are actually pretty prudish. They don't even do it on the corpses of their enemies while roasting gnomes over a fire and singing about killing dogs, which is pretty vanilla if you ask me. Maybe there's drugs down there, though. That explains why all the defenses. His Username and Password are "Hot4Deekin" and "Password". I know. I tried telling him. The idea that he's five ferrets is ridiculous. Outrageous, even. There's six of them, and one is a guinea pig.
Sort of. Deekin knows of KC. KC sent a letter to Deekin of his admiration. He even got one back. Most of it's contents was the phrase "cease and desist".
KC, who exactly are your lawyers? Three hobos he met on the side of the road, having shared a bottle of rotgut with and discussed philosophy, before promptly being vomited on by Hobo #3, as Hobo #2 passed out and defacated himself. One had a copy of "Law for Dummies" which was only missing 1/5 of it's pages due to impromptu wiping sessions, and was willing to work on contingency, which let's face it is really all KC paid attention to.
I will, being a close personal enemy of KC, hereby volunteer to answer questions on his behalf, from what I assume to be his opinion. Please make them as embarrassing as possible.
He's overrated. Making an entire alias based on him is stupid. <_< >_> Shut up. It's an entirely unrelated last name. Happens to be very common among small sized humanoids reviled by your average adventurer. It's like the "Smith" of villainy.
You're a Kobold so... you're already in the bestiary.CentRAWRs. I want that to be a monster now.You monster, Centraurs are my favorite. Yes, but it is understandable how he could have envy, being such an inferior monster and all.
I also have acquired a stalker... a small, scaly, cleaving stalker with a terrible family... If it helps, we're not biologically related.
Yay! Fire and kobold pain at the same time! This moment can't possibly get better. *turns around to listen to something* What? It's a boy? What's your point? I stand by my statement, it couldn't have, and hasn't gotten better. Leave me alone, woman. Good throw it in the cage with the rest.
One more reason we're better - Goblins also update threads more often than kobolds.
Kobolds make awful barbarians. Goblins, on the other hand, have a wonderful archetype that makes us awesome biting latch on grapple crazy barbarians. Just further example of our superiority over kobolds.
Any "practice" is fully accidental and due to their getting in the way. I see each "incident" as a generous donation to ensure that my cleaves will be able to reach the adventurers. Really, it's a simple as two if he doesn't yet have great cleave, or as many as all that and a few layers extra. He might have lunge, long arm, four levels of abyssal bloodrager, or any other number of means to extend reach even greater, along with great cleave, allowing him to slaughter enough kobolds to look like the number of goblin babies I wade through when trying to make it from my bed to the fire pit.
You attack your own people? That's not very lawful. I at least have chaos to excuse my spawn cannibalism...that, and there's just so many of them!
Why on Golarion would anyone want to pretend to be a kobold? I do have a legit set of questions - what would you say is the standard damage for a thrown goblin baby? One set on fire? Do they count as light or one-handed for two-weapon fighting? Are they ruined like ammunition, or can I reuse them? (That last one is almost irrelevant. I've got an efficient quiver filled with the little bastards the brood women keep adding to.)
I have more where that came from! We're strict orthodox Lamashtians, we not only don't believe in birth control, we believe it's rude not to impregnate strangers! *two-weapon fighting/improved two weapon fighting/quick draw/rapid shot crazy chuck-fest of baby goblins* I set at least two on fire earlier, so I get int to damage on that, sucka!
I will hug you and kiss you and name you George!! Ahhh! *grabs a random baby goblin and throws at Hulk as a distraction* Keep it away!
Meh. We're also incredibly marketable. Again...no plushy kobolds. Meanwhile I makes the girl gamers (and many of the guys) swoon with delight when presented with a box of chocolates, and... ...hold on... ...four more kids, I'll be damned. ...and anyway, like I'm saying, goblins are also downright pure marketing genius. No, no, I don't want to hold them. I don't know, name them after your side of the family, I ate half of mine. Speaking of which, that blue one, you didn't name him yet, did you? I skipped lunch.
The 8th Dwarf is an Aussie, quite obviously. Can't you tell by his accent? Hey Kobold...I have news for you... There's also f#*^ing $#!+loads of us, too! We breed like crazy. I fathered eight or nine kids on the way in here. *starts handing out cigars*
Aw mom, Is that why we keep the beav caged up in the basement? That's how I was raised. It's a right of passage. He's just lucky the rest of the litter isn't in there with him. I remember my litter mates... ...they were delicious.
*yawns* hours, you mean. At ten minutes a level, I'll be okay for a while.
*dances in the flames, being a high level firebomber alchemist that keeps a steady supply of resist fire extracts at hand - this explains my unusual wit and lack of fear of the written word* Yay! Yaaaaaaaaaaay! Hehehehe! That tickles. Who wants burny hugs?
Who cares how it happened? Don't you understand the ramifications of what she said? I. AM. ROYALTY! You may all cower at my feet now and present offerings of things that burn and things with which to do the burning.
Did you know goblins are better than kobolds in every way? We're stronger, more dexterous, better at burning things, have a more storied and better developed cultural background, and plushies of us for sale. I don't see any plushy kobolds, do you? We're also double the CR without class levels, and have better racial archetypes. Do you have an alchemist with a dire bat companion? Can you gain a bite attack that latches onto people with the grab ability as a barbarian? I thought not. Your best ability is a 1/day full round diplomacy. Diplomacy? What is this, World of Darkness? I'm here to kill and burn stuff! |
