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I just really want to field a general into battle launching flaming globs of meringue via trebuchet onto the approaching gingerbread hordes, okay.what if gingerbread men were originally horrifying swarm creatures with a thirst for human flesh that we eat solely to remind ourselves of their carnivorous appetite/celebrate surviving their annual attack? Somewhere along the line the real reason got lost and they are just holiday treats now...
Oh shit! They're on to us!! Quick men, release another ten adorable fluffy kitten videos on to YouTube!
There, that'll distract them long enough...