GM PC: Karek Kogan's page

Alright Flamethrower (Karek) must be off on another romantic getaway - those crazy love birds. I can't bear the shame of dropping into the archived threads, especially with half the party petrified and the other suffering from that deadly state known as surprise. I'll take a shot at this.
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"Bunky's Bunker Rush"

Young Karek follows the advice of the veteran dwarf and clasps his eyes closed as tightly as he can manage, squinting his entire bulbous face until it looks as though it were collapsing in on itself like some kind of giant facial crevasse.

"Kwadever it is, ah ken sill whage it wid me amer!" he exclaims and rushes forward towards Breach. He holds his massive weapon high over his head with one hand while he feels for the hieroglyph-covered wall on his left-hand side.

The first thing he does though is slam straight into Ghoukan. The unbalanced stone statue wavers and then quickly topples over. Just before it hits the ground and smashes into a dozen jagged pieces, Karek catches it with his free hand.

"Swowwy!" he cries, as he lifts it back on its feet and rests it against the wall. (Naturally petrified statues really ought to come with proper bases.) While Karek does so, the excitable Bunky finishes pushing his way out of the dwarf's pack and begins balancing himself on Karek's shoulder.

"Komin Trew! Koming True!" he shouts as he blindly pushes his way past first Hurgah and then Moonpate-

-and slams right into the stone statue of the Mithral Scarab! Miraculously catching her before she falls, he rests it up against the statue of Xerissa, trying awkwardly to balance them against each other.

"Tace zit, tace zit!" he yells to Moonpate as he passes him the unbalanced and exceedingly heavy statues. Still unsure what is going on, the wizard finds himself struggling but manages to gently bring the statues down to the floor without either them breaking, well at least not more than a chip or two, or three..

At this point Karek begins whirling his hammer in front of him, slaying numerous particles of air.

"Kwer is it?! Kwer is it?!" he yells to Breach as he nearly cracks his ally's head in with his over-sized earthbreaker. Fortunately (the also blind) Shattershield ducks at the last moment and Karek's hammer sails into the wall shattering numerous hieroglyphs of extreme historic value.

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That's a move action for Karek's turn. I am overlooking the issue of whether you can end in a square occupied by a petrified ally. You can't end in an allied square when you’re Medium size in this particular game, but you can enter a square occupied by a Medium-sized inert statue. It's kinda a gray one. Karek is adjacent to the unidentified (but probably totally known to all by now) foe.
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Bunky launches from Karek's shoulder and flies at the terrible lizard creature, seeking to attack with his vicious bite. When he does so, Karek’s Star Tribe broach, Dolmarthis, activates. When Bunky strikes, a gigantic weasel-head superimposes over the tiny creature. For a moment the entire corridor is filled with a terrible disembodied phantom head of fur and fang.

Bunky Dolmarthis attack! 1d20 + 8 + 4 ⇒ (18) + 8 + 4 = 30 (hit!)

Potential damage from Colossal weasel bite attack: 4d6 + 7 ⇒ (4, 6, 6, 5) + 7 = 28 ("holy smokes!")

Very notably, and incredibly cool, Bunky does not require a Fortitude save even though he's looking right at the beast snarling away. I wonder why that is?
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Although few are left to see it, the gigantic head bites down on the lizard and punctures four deep holes in the creature, each slicing all the way from back to belly. The perforated lizard responds with a rasping snarl and a froth of blood gushes out of its mouth.

In the chaos, rivulets of blood spray down on the Xerissa statue. Just as the Potentate rises from setting the Xerissa and Lydia statues on the ground, he witnesses something truly amazing: where the drops land, a thin wisp of white smoke rises from the Xerissa statue. At first the wizard assumes the blood is acidic and the devastated statue is being burned away, but when he looks closer he sees tiny flecks of color when the creature's blood has splattered. What is this?!

Karek bellows a hearty "Danks!" before remembering that he still needs to remain quiet.

It is not clear if his thanks is directed to Halstadt who has just repaired his cracking knees or to Donkor who has brought him Bunky, his lifelong friend.

”He’s a Long Way from Kalsgard”

Tired as he is, Karek’s speech is even less comprehensible than it normal. Instead, he makes a cutting motion with his hand, calling for Moonpate and Hurgah to stop their march, pulling up short behind a large sandy dune.

Without skipping a beat, Karek begins yanking off his armor, a long and arduous process. It is also odorous. Suddenly the recent lack of a desert wind does not look like such a plus.

As soon as he finishes, he uses a massive coil of silk rope to roll up the individual pieces and does his best to create a quieter padded bundle. He then wraps it in his explorer’s outfit and then stuffs the huge ball into a bulging brown sack which he slings over his shoulder. It brings back memories of Hurgah’s red ‘santa sack’ which once held the Dune Squad’s arsenal a few days back. Karek then slips into the desert outfit he borrowed from the Pathfinder’s equipment station at the Kothi, which gives him a modicum of camouflage. He cuts a strip from it to make himself a bandana to tie back his wild hair which seems to be growing like the roots of some monstrous plant from the Darklands.

Still exhausted, the dwarf then climbs to the top of the dune on his belly and does his best to study the patrols guarding the dig site, peering from side to side with a shiny new pair of glasses. He sees the camel riders and the palanquin golem, but unlike Breach, he does not have the luxury of time to study their patterns more fully.

He picks a moment which looks like it might pass as an opening and says, “Okady – ve do! Gut evyboty de real quide-lide.”
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Barring any further input from our ambush team, I’ll be making Stealth checks for their attempted entrance. The classic, take off your armor and carry it doesn’t exactly work as it just ups the encumbrance, but it does prevent Karek from being a glittering beacon of reflective light. Although there isn’t a single actual rank of Stealth between the three of them, Hurgah, Moonpate and Karek all have positive Dexterity scores, so they might not be truly terrible.

What could go wrong?