Falbin - GM Doug's page

14 posts. Alias of Doug Hahn.


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An aunt of mine crossed over once. She came back with a thick mustache, and bluebells growing from her ears. She thought this quite the exquisite look, but I will remain here, to collect my herbs and keep my couture.

He preens his beard and disappears into a shrubbery.

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Falbin good-naturedly collects himself.

HA-HA!! Next time, Jamila, you'll see! Next time we'll have to double down! The one thing I know about luck: it's mutable! Changeable! Dare I say… fey! HA-HA! And those dirty druids are around here somewhere — that's one thing that never changes!

He hands Eugressia, Kokoyuki, and Oiur a Tangleburn bag. While doing so his eyes dart about, as if druids peer at them even now from the jungle bushes.

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Kokoyuki wrote:
Who can understand the nature of giant frogs?

Falbin's eyes glitter with tears of pure joy as he silently mouths the word "Druids."

Well… let's do the science after we take care of more pragmatic issues… such as not getting eaten by frogs!


Your take 10 on Knowledge Local makes you recall that Briar Henge druids often employ giant-sized versions of animals—these frogs are also evidence in Falbin’s favor.

You don't have to tell anyone this, but they will get opportunities to roll and analyze the situation after this encounter is resolved.

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Oiur wrote:
Uh, Falbin? Maybe... maybe step off the vines? They look... druid-y.

HA-HA! The Briar Henge Druids love that spell! It's almost a druid trope! He grins. What do you think, Jamila? The Druids are responsible for this tragedy! Point for Falbin! He does a twirl, but steps on something thorny.



Hold a moment!

Falbin runs over to a spiky growth and begins gleefully harvesting it — root and all. Yerba Mate! He scuttles to another bush, trailing clods of soil. Cat's Claw! A rambling vine: Suma!

Terrible! He happily stuffs the plants into his backpack. Woe! He skips across the clearing to collect another plant. It's expanding! It may never stop! The world may end! HA-HA! He darts about stuffing plants into his bag — which now trails a steady stream of fine jungle dirt.

DC 15 Knowledge (geography or planes):

Based on what you know about the original location, the zone's rate of expansion is three-quarters of a mile per 72 hours.

DC 15 Knowledge (arcana) or Spellcraft:

The vines underfoot closely resemble an augmented version of entangle, a favorite spell among druids.

Falbin does a little dance, kicking up clods of dirt. Now it's getting interesting! All we had before was a boring out-of-time summer time in the forest! HA-HA! He turns to your group. What about you, Pathfinders? Care to make it interesting? You are thinking beings, are you not? You must have postulations as well.

He points the a lavender stem at each of you in turn. However, if any of you are so witless to believe the cause of this seasonal phenomenon is a Rift… well… I am so confident in my assertion that I will put up a Tangleburn Bag against a paltry fifty gold. I do not wish to take money from fools, but they must be taught a lesson nevertheless!

Now the trap is baited! HA-HA!

He looks at the owlbear and coldborn. Kahru? Do you and Nokka not smell those dirty druid feet? Wager with us against Jamila!

A rustling; Falbin's face pokes out the top of a thick lavender bush.

Jamila! HEY! Jamila! HEY!

When he has her attention he jumps out from the bush, jabbing a twig here and there to punctuate his sentences.

I know you're the gambling type! Don't deny it! You had a deadline with your boss, but plane shifted here to Bellis! Irresponsible! Reckless! Genius!

His eyes cunningly narrow. How about you put your money where your theory is? I'll bet you a hundred-fifty gold the Briar Henge Druids are responsible for our out-of-time summertime! How about it?

Spellcraft or Knowledge(arcana) trained:

Precise arrival to your desired location via Planeshift is nigh impossible: the spell places you anywhere between 5 and 500 miles from your intended destination. If Jamilla did travel here today via Planeshift, she took a big (and probably unnecessary) risk.


Yes, Kahru! Yes indeed! Let's beat up those druids! That's the way! He makes stabbing motions with a mushroom stem. HA-HA!

He then peers up into Oiur's emerald eyes. I'm sure we will find ample and obvious and one-hundred-percent irrefutable evidence of druids once we go to the glade.

Jamila snorts.

I can take you there. It's about two hours to the south, in a glade where the pokeroot lingers into the beginning of Winter. He squints, peering suspiciously at each of you in turn. I am loathe to share my secrets with others, but I trust you won't tell anyone about my pokeroot gathering location.

We'll know we're there when it's summertime again. It'll even be tropical! The flora overflows. Quite literally, it's a jungle out there!

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HA-HA! Falbin leaps up and claps Kokoyuki on the shoulder. You see? Wise Pathfinders know it's the druids! What else could it be!? He sticks out his tongue and makes a rude noise. Rifts… poppycock.

Jamila rolls her eyes and sighs very loudly. Falbin pointedly ignores her.

Falbin fidgets until Oiur stops counting. Yes yes yes. It's clear you know the ins and outs of the forest! What was your name? They always send the best. His eyes dart around.

As to your question: yes! Druids! Arcanasts! Well — Divine…ists! They infest the forest like weevils! They are probably skulking about in town too, vandalizing gardenias!

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Concurrently the gnome turns and bounds down the weathered steps — three at a time. He pats Nokka on the head and then grabs Kahru's hand, vigorously shaking it. Of course, of course! They sent the mighty Kahru and Nokka — who better to exterminate druid infestations and save the innocent deadly nightshades?

He gives a haughty backward glance at Jamila. Yes, welcome! Who have you brought? Welcome indeed!

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Old grudges!? They burned my belladonna garden! Never have I seen nightshades so lovely, so deadly — burnt down in their prime! Who else could it be!?

At a momentary impasse, the gnome crosses his arms and pouts, chewing his beard.


The druids are to blame, I’d bet anything! The gnome frantically digs in his pouch and holds aloft several weird fungi. Chanterelle! Puffball! Take your pick!