Re: OP:
You can have a lawful good paladin and a neutral evil necromancer in the same party, and they don't have to try to kill each other.
Lawful: Doesn't go around just killing things for personal reasons.
Good: Acts selflessly.
Neutral: Doesn't care about law or chaos. Doesn't mean a player's a homicidal maniac either.
Evil: Acts selfishly. Still doesn't make a player a homicidal maniac.
Re: inherently evil acts:
If you don't understand the difference between killing someone in a battle with a single clean hit, as opposed to pouring honey all over someone and staking them out next to an anthill, then you're probably a sociopath, or at least from a culture that has such incredibly different norms than I guess most posters on this forum to have, that it's not going to be productive trying to establish common ground for discussion.
Suffice it to say some things are "good" and some things are "bad", and that different people and different cultures have different ways of defining what is "evil" (or whether there even is an "evil").
But in Pathfinder, it's not so much a question of *if* animating dead is evil or not, or whether it *should* be considered evil or not. Animating dead things has the evil descriptor and *is* an evil act by Pathfinder rules. It's not a question of whether or not you agree with the rule, that's just the way it is in the Pathfinder world.
As far as boneshatter or fireball or whatever go, again - yes those can be used to cause suffering &c &c, but again, by Pathfinder rules, those spells are not *inherently* evil.