"Could be a bulette? Yaknow those big sharky muf#*kas that dig through the ground?"
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"Some shiznit is eatin' bones? Crazy! Whatchu think it is?"
Docta G sends another blast of flaming rap music at the fallen skeleton, "Yeah you skeleton sleepin' on the ground like a lame, time to get smacked with Docta G's flame!"
"Aye you nasty skeleton take a word from me, you the ugliest skeleton I ever did see!" As Docta G raps, an audible blast of flaming verse flies from his mouth and slams into the skeleton.
Docta G keeps rapping, "You know my raps are so much fire, my raps are super hot, take a punch from my words to the gut you ain't got!"
Doc hits play on his boombox and starts rapping, "These enemies ain't zombies so they ain't tryna moan but these bony motha 'uckas are bouta get boned!"
Docta G is almost as surprised as the priestess, though his momentary excitement at meeting a real live fan is quickly swallowed by his instinct to play it chill, or at least as chill as he can be, "The one and only! Aw, fo shizzle on that autograph!" He signs his name on the phone, chunky letters with cartoonish flames around them. Docta G motions to Franklin, "And this is my homie F Dawg. He goes by Franklin though."
"Yo wassup? The name's Docta G, you mighta heard it!"
"Good point, good point, good point. Yeah, I'm down to do some other business. We got that one with the church basement. Might as well tackle that mofo."
”To F Dawg!” Docta G faces the group, an almost serious expression on his face, ”Aight then. Y’all got some ideas for our next gig? If not, I say we shoot the fox and the cat a text, see if they got some reccomendizzles.”
"Yeah, those foos were messed up. Zombies and necromancer and goblins ridin' giraffes."
Docta G shrugs before he picks up the massive cup. It's surprisingly light given that it's almost as big as his torso, but he starts to drink anyway.
Docta G's jaw hits the table. Maybe not exactly, but if there was ever an apt example for the metaphor, it'd be him. A slow smile creeps onto his face as he says quietly, "That was awesome..." He shakes his head as if trying to completely believe what he's seeing before yelling, "G$$*%@n that was "
"Man, does this place ever live up to the name!" Docta G takes his shot, burping a few sparks after it goes down. He tracks down a waiter to order himself the biggest, flashiest, and preferably most on-fire cocktail they have.
Blue Man Group: "That's legit. Adventurin's better than workin' a day job, but rappin' is my dig long term."
Blue Crew: "That's the idea. Hopefully we get big, ya feel? Once we do, I'm hopin' I can get some more gigs and all that buisness." He laughs and nudges Jack, "Maybe see if I can't bring this foo along wit me."
Blue Crew: Docta G briefly raps along to his song before turning back to Faith and saying, "So, never asked, how'd you end up doin' this business?"
Docta G hops into Jack Frosty's car and plugs his phone into the aux cord. It doesn't take Faith long to realize that he's playing his own music. He practically yells over the music, "So, Frostizzle, let's get rollin!"
"JF! My man!" He turns to the party, a grin as big as Frosty's plastered on his face, "Y'all, this is Jack Frosty, my roomie and my homie! We been talkin' bout a show together, yaknow. I spit fire, he spits ice!" After laughing at his own joke a little too hard he says to Jack, "So the Brotha J wanted to hit up the Showboat Saloon. We gon' celebrate our second gig and forget to messed up business we saw in that Toys R Us."
"One of my homies owes me a favor for crashin' at my place." He sends a quick text to Jack Frosty, asking for a ride over to the bar. It would be a tight fit, but they could manage.
"Ayo, so what do you folks think 'bout hittin the town once we wrap up here? I got a couple bucks to spend, so drinks are on me."
Docta G obviously orders the experimental, and with a few words in Gnomish also ends up with a thai iced tea with swirling blue patterns and a healthy dollop of something that almost tastes like savory whipped cream. As he sips his confusing beverage he says, ”I dunno bout that cop. If there’s one thing I learned ‘bout adventuring from OutCast, it’s that 12 don’t like us too much.”
"Mama Calanthiel's, here we come!"
"How 'bout elven soul food? I been meanin' to try that place."
Doc says in Goblin, "I know whatchu sayin' you little bastard! You betta' surrender! And who you callin' wretch anyway? If I recall right, we weren't the ones who wimped out."
Docta G points at the goblin and yells, ”Listen up! We took out yo’ buddy, and I’m sure you’ve heard about how Docta G rap battled a goblin so hard he f&@$in’ exploded! Give up, you gon’ be aight!”
Doc keeps rapping as he shoots a burst of light at the goblin.
Docta G hits play on his boombox and starts rapping, "You necromantic hooligan sworn to Urgathoa, you picked a fight with Docta G, rap flame-throwa! You done some bad sh!t and provoked my ire, so Faith and Joe and Franklin, bring the f#$kin' fire!"
Doc charges forward, and he raps, "You a wack motha 'ucka, you really is trippin, I guess pretty soon boy, you gonna be slippin!'
Docta G's surprising perceptiveness combined with his supernatural speed (enhanced by his flamin' hot bars) allows him to easily make his way across the glass.
Docta G had, or at least claimed he had, enough experience with crowds of adoring fans to be able to nimbly dodge his way through the zombies.
"How you doin'? You know what's goin' on with these zombie motha 'uckas? Cuz somethin' weird is goin' down, and you're the only lead we got." He furrows his eyebrows, "By the way, have you seen a goblin ridin' a giraffe?"
Once pointed out, Docta G calls out to the figure, "Ayo! Come on out! Wassup here!"
"First you got the flash, now you get the fire, your zombie ass just awoke Docta G's ire!" Doc swings at the creature, with a blow that while accurate, is truly pitiful, only managing to hurt the beast with the fire from his beats.
"Let's merk these zombies, undead goons, the day of their re-death is comin' real soon! You can try to defeat my crew and me, but you're a flash in the pan and I'm a real OG!" As he says that, a burst of light erupts around the zombie.
Doc presses play on his boombox and starts rapping, "Docta G back in the house, spittin hella flame, these reanimated freaks are lookin' pretty lame. So whatcha say, brotha J, make these motha 'uckas pay, they gon' regret tryna mess wit us today!"
Docta G pulls out his boombox. If something was going down, he wanted to be ready to spit some bars.
Docta G pulls out his shortsword and says, "Aight then fellas and fellettes, lets see what's gon' happen with whatever foo is tryna merk us."
"One thing one of my homies told me 'bout it. Don't fill up on the lembas cornbread beforehand. They give it to you free but you gon' be real full after eatin' it." Docta G follows along, quietly jamming to one of his friends latest tracks while looking for giraffe prints.
Seeing the elven soul food restaurant Docta G's eyes light up, "Yooo, Mama Caladiel's? I've heard that place slaps. We gotta go there after messin' up the double G combo."
"Mo' goblins? Shiiieeeeet bruh. That ain't my jam. Guess we doin' this shiznit though." He thinks briefly about Joe's question, "I'd haunt Snoop Dogg's mansion. I heard that dude's got magic weed so good it can make ghosts high. Sides, 'parently he's a werewolf so that'd be sick to watch."
"I'm coolin' it like always. How bout you Brotha J?"
Docta G keeps rapping, waiting for Joe to be able to get out of the swarm’s grasp.
Doc presses play on his boombox and starts layin’ down some rhymes, ”Ay come on Last Call let’s beat these bugs, wipe their stupid bug grins off their stupid bug mugs!”
Docta G raises his eyebrows, ”Oh snap! You sayin’ that the big CC himself came to you? Hell yeah! All I got was some free wingstop and a dopeass cape. Oh shiziet, I didn’t show y’all the cape!” He rummages through his bag before producing a glittery purple cape trimmed with faux white tiger fur and puts it on. ”It ain’t meetin’ y’all’s god, but it’s dope.”
”Mo’ gobs? Damn B, I ain’t really lookin’ forwards to it. Maybe I won’t get kidnapped this time though.”
Docta G responds, ”Aye fasho” Followed by the thumbs up, okay, and sunglasses guy emojis, ”Wack that we didn’t get and cred though.” That’s rounded off by the middle finger and the angry face emoji before, ”We gon make it big tho” concluding with the diamond, fire, 100, and gas pump emojis.
7 HP Saves: Reflex 1 Will 1 Skills:
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