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Mister Treerazer, sir! We have a fine line in processed tree carcasses with which we shatter the sanity of mortals... Do you have any texts you'd like to contribute to our library?
... A one-eyed idol bellowing in all caps that no one is safe... TIME FOR A SALE!
LENG!
... Then can you help me move these Yellow Sign keychains? They've proven tricky to up-sell...
I'm insane. A common assumption from those flustered souls who peruse our... special collections. Can I interest you in a First Folio edition of The King in Yellow?
We promise!
Aw, c'mon, we can put 'em right next to the Book of Eibon specials on aisle three...
All Glory to the Polish Bag of Teeth!
We have such sights to show you.
It's perfectly safe! The risks are overstated simply because a few unstable souls happen to have used some truly excellent dramatic literature as an excuse for their own foibles. I'm sure you're perfectly capable of handling it! Here, have a special deal, The King in Yellow, now half-off!
I'll make sure his research privileges are...unrestricted.
Wonder no more! Step right up, and peruse the shelves, I'm SURE we'll have something you like! EASY FINANCING AVAILABLE! Who are you going to trust, a space-going tentacled horror, or our fine, knowledgeable staff? ... Please stay out of the stockroom. It's SUPPOSED to sound like that. |
