I participate in a regular Thursday game, a casual evening game of Pathfinder that my group has been enjoying for the last month or so. Our Game Master, young he may be, has learned quite a lot and has been weaving quite a story of a Fey infested town, full of hidden Cult's to Zon-Kuthon and a mysterious Brain Washing Cult of Cayden Cailean. Up until now, I haven't felt like writing up our exploits. Sure, we'd had our fair share, like trying to save a farmer’s Cow from Wolves and making that our sole mission in a PFS scenario, all but forgetting about the actual mission. But tonight was different.
Our regular Thrusday night gaming group consists of -
Helga, the Slaughter (Female Human Fighter)
Aurora (Female Half-Elf Druid) and her wolf companion
Leonid (Male Human Summoner - myself) and Zugoz (Leonid's Four-Armed Reptilian Bipedal Eidolon)
And Svetlana del Ray (Female Human Sorceress - Charisma 18 - Wisdom 7)
I mention the 18 Charisma and 7 Wisdom for a number of reasons. Something else to note, and while I usually don't find it necessary to mention this, but in this case - Svetlana del Ray is played by a guy. A very intelligent guy. He decided that he would name her Svetlana, and when he realized shortly thereafter that she would specialize in ray attacks, decided to add on the del Ray part. Fitting as it would later prove.
Tonight's game session started off with us exploring a small mite camp situated on the edge of pond out side the town of Fenton, they had been conducting a ritual to grant their members strength. A sacrifice of a dryad was made, as well as nine mites, all of which held cold-iron daggers that had been used for a blood sacrifice. We were arguing about what our best course of action would be, something that took a lot longer than it really should have, when a trio of winged mites come tearing through the forest after us. Helga, the group's proclaimed "Murder Hobo" for her unorthodox interrogation and prisoner management ideals, cleaves her way through these beasts. It was only some time later that we actually arrived at the mentioned camp site, learning that the fey had gone through with the ritual, slaying their own and the dryad.
Around the Ritual Site, we found foot prints in the snow, leading us to a small Manor. It was Aurora, our Druid, that noticed mites infesting the building as well as a poor and unfortunate soul who had been killed and left outside by the mites not to long before our arrival. Combat quickly ensued, Helga busting through the door to find several more mites inside. My eidolon, Zugoz, charged in behind her, rending apart a mite on the way and striking terror in another. Aurora, her Wolf, and Helga charged in and fought back a wave of the mites, while Zugoz found his way to the second story. Leonid and Svetlana were still outside, being pelted with arrows from the mite on the roof. Before long, he struck Svetlana, who decided it would be best to hide behind my soft, squishy body. Using my body as a shield, she continued to egg on the mite shooting from above. Somehow, before it was all over, Svetlana was laying on the ground, prone, behind me, still using me as cover. The battle continued and not long after, Zugoz charged the mite, ripping him to shreds while the others mopped up the enemy.
Again, we found clues on their bodies, pointing us in another direction and towards a series of caves were there might be more mites. We were eager to rid this area of the menace and we quickly moved through the woods, our Druid leading the way. The rest of us were all unable to aid her, but she led us through and we found ourselves at a small hill, into which led a tunnel down and into the earth. Squeezing into this hide-away, we were forced to move slowly, pressing ourselves through the tight confines of the hall. Then, somewhere below, we heard a humming. A happy, almost giddy humming. The room opened up and we found ourselves in a cavern - a twisted Druid's nightmare cavern. Fey were pinned to the wall, pixies nailed into the caverns wall's by their wings and a poor and hapless mite on a table, dissected. And the creature humming, none other than a Tooth Fairy. He was dressed in tiny but elegant desert robes. He realizes that we're in his lair and quickly drops his knife, whipping out a massive (for him) pair of pliers - wrapped with none other than barbed wire. It was at this point I felt I should worry. But then the GM goes on to let us know that this little guy is ripped. Like muscle builder ripped. And this was when things got interesting.
As we were told to roll for initiative and as the little fella went, he started raging, nearly foaming at his little mouth. Spirits started swirling about him even and it took about five seconds before someone started to shout, "Tooth Fairy Spirit Totem Barbarian!" A sheepish grin creeping across the DM's face. And we realized what was happening. Helga charged in, backed by the Druid's wolf and then Zugoz, while the rest of us stuck back and worked our magic. The tooth fairy struck - and should he have, it would have been hard. But he didn't really get much of a chance. He moved into Helga's space and started attacking her, but ended up missing and simply getting himself flanked by the Druid's Wolf. Helga went, and before he knew what happened, he was down, clutching at his little heart and saying "This isn't how the great Mauler of Catapesh dies!" And his little light was extinguished. A quick knowledge history check - rolled by Svetlana del Ray of all people, in all her wise and charismatic glory, revealed that the so called "Great Mauler of Catapesh" had been a historical figure. He hadn't been seen in over a hundred years though. He was a serial killer in Catapesh during his heyday, driving a solid iron nail through his victim's hearts. He killed dozens during his reign of terror, but then disappeared. Apparently, the ritual or some other mite activity had brought him back. But now, the great killer, the Mauler of Catapesh, lay dead, twitching on the floor of some cave outside of a very small town in the middle of nowhere...
The immediate threat dealt with, we moved on after the Druid being sickened by the scenes of the fey pinned to the walls. We left that area and went to the next room, but stopped before entering. And this was when Svetlana shined. The Druid could hear voices coming from the other side, but could not understand them. In fact, the only person who could speak Sylvan was Svetlana. After beckoning the Sorceress forward, Svetlana was able to hear. She heard high voices, mite voices, telling stories. The lead mite was telling a story that he had heard. A tale of a farmer, going out and getting so drunk that he came back and thought that a turnip was his wife, so he ended up falling asleep with it. Then his wife came in the next morning, and seeing her husband with what she mistook for another mite, killed her husband and smashed the impostor wife.
Svetlana, not understanding it was a story, in all of her eternal wisdom, pushed the door open and shouted "Turnips are purple - mites are blue!" To which all of the mites, all thirteen of them bolted up right and ran for their weapons. We realized then that Svetlana was at the front of the party, she was squishy - but she also had this completely under control. A +10 to diplomacy can be a big aid. She smiled and told them it was her turn for a story and that she had one. It was also at this time the DM called for a diplomacy check - to which she rolled no less than a 27... The DM allowed him/her to continue. Svetlana's player, stood up. The poor man walked to the end of the table after consulting with his girlfriend, who was listening in over Skype, on what kind of story he would tell. He looked at each of us in turn and began. It took him a time or two, stopping because he couldn't keep a straight face and broke down laughing once or twice, but finally, he found his inner story teller and let it shine.
It began with "Would you like to hear a story?" and after that high of a diplomacy, the DM couldn't say no. So, the mites, riveted to this mysterious and crazed woman, eased their weapons while the rest of the party’s jaws collectively dropped. "Once, there was a great mite king," Svetlana started, "He was this tall!" It was fun actually getting to watch him act this out - the saunter, the mannerism, the way that he gestured. By this point, none of us can keep a straight face. Trying, yes, but not able to... He gestured taller than a human, "This tall!" The mites didn't believe him, so one bluff check later, they are wholeheartedly persuaded. "And he ruled a vast kingdom! The streets, paved with gold - even the shop signs. Solid. Gold."
"And it was a golden age," He went on, "A golden age for the mites... they realized that they shouldn't attack the humans, but allied with them... the humans were stupid, but the mites didn't need to attack them to prove they were better! They could trick the humans to do what they wanted anyway!" This was all done while he paced back and forth - and at this time he was getting louder and louder, and everyone started paying complete attention to this story.
"And the king, the magnificent king, he had to have a beautiful queen. After tricking the humans, he married a beautiful human princess!" To this, the only thing that the mites saw wrong was how he would kiss her, but, Svetlana reminded them that he was indeed taller. It took another bluff check to convince them of this, "as it was a very long time ago, before the mite's fall..." That angered the little monsters, but a diplomacy check kept them in line.
"But this isn't a happy story, no... It has a rather sad ending", he went on. "The queen, you see, she was kidnapped. You know the dark elves, no?" He asked. Now the DM, was getting into the spirit of the mites, sitting in his chair, twitching, holding his arms up in front of him like a little monster and hissing "Yes, we know them!"
"Then it would come as no surprise to know that they were the ones that stole the human princess!" This brought about booing, but the sorceress went on. "They infiltrated the palace in the dead of night, through magic" another bluff check "and they stole her." This raised the question of how they got her out, to which some debate between Svetlana and the mites went on, about magic bags, suffocation, and perhaps she was suffocated in a bag of holding... This was also no less than fifteen minutes into her monologue.
"Now," she continued, "She was kidnapped. And the next morning, the king awoke and went to her chambers to find her missing! Outraged, he gathered his army! The mighty mite king gathered his mighty mite army!" The mites wanted to know how many, so she asked them how many of them there were - and we got their entire numbers for the local area as well - but 44 was the consensus. "So, imagine 1000 groups like your own - 44,000 mites! And they went off to the Humans and the mite king asked the human king - do you have my queen!? But the Human king said no... So the mite king went on to the Orcs, and the Orcs cowered in fear of the Mite king.” The mites started yelling again. “The orcs are ferocious! They are too dumb to back down!”
Svetlana shook her head. “That just shows how truly terrifying the Mite King was.” This seemed to placate the mites, and she continued. “The Mite King asked the Orcs but they said no... So he went to the Dwarf king, and asked him. They cowered as well! But they again, said no. To the Elf king he went... but they, again, sadly said no... To the Gnomish king -" but the DM cut him off, this time forcing him to roll a diplomacy check to calm the mites, they had reached for their weapons and were getting ready to attack at the very mention of the gnomes. Foaming at their little mouths to boot. They called out, “Why did the Mite King not destroy the Gnomes!”
Svetlana calmly continued after another Diplomacy check. “The Mite King did not trust the King of the Gnomes, and that particular colony of Gnomes did not survive the night.” This was met with cheers from the mites at this no doubt spectacular victory. It was rather enjoyable watching the Dungeon Master actually get into the role of mites, taking on their physical movements and mannerisms.
But the story went on while Svetlana's player paced at the head of the table, gathering steam and realizing that this might just work. Still, all of our characters stood in the hall, baffled and listening. We couldn’t understand what she was saying in the slightest, as Svetlana was speaking Sylvan, but whatever she was saying prevented the mites from attacking us.
"And the mite king went far and wide until he came to a great and vast sea to which a sheer cliff dropped off and into it's depths. And while he was there, the Drow came upon him in great numbers. They had an army with row after row of shields. Tower Shields! As tall as a bear and twice as wide. And they began fighting, but the Mite king fought bravely back. With the Mite Armies backs to the ocean, the Drow locked their shields together and starting pushing, pushing the mite army over and into the ocean. His armies stood their ground, matching the Drow’s force. But then, out came the Orcs. And they began pushing his men back. But they stood their ground. Then came the elves. And they pushed as well! But the mites still held! And then the dwarves! The Dwarven king, with the other races, they pushed the mites over. I told you this wasn't a happy story,"
There were mites in tears, crying and a few wailing. Somewhere in the back a mite tending the spiders started bawling. “But what about the Drow!?” They cried. “Did we take their lives as well!?” They begged her to finish her tale. At first Svetlana didn’t want to comply, as the lead mite had shouted out vulgarities and questioned her as a storyteller (as his latest diplomacy check landed on a mere 3.) The player asked the GM to roll a diplomacy check to continue, and the GM obliged, rolling a natural 20 while offering her fine silks as well as other trinkets for the rest of the story.
“No, there were no dead Drow that day,” Svetlana repeated. The Mites brandished their weapons angrily. “For, you see, after the Elves arrived, they slipped away! Treacherous folk, the Drow. They left the front lines and had other plans. Now that the mite army was gone, there was no one to protect the motherland. The Drow set upon the once Mighty Mite city. They burned it down! Killed every mite in sight! Men. Women. Elderly. Even the children!"
Now the mites were in an uproar and were furious to hear this, how they had fallen so far. To this, Svetlana's player, he found his inner voice and let it out, growling rather loudly "YOU BEGGED ME TO FINISH THIS STORY, OFFERED ME FINE CLOTHES! YOU WILL SHUT UP AND YOU WILL SIT DOWN AND YOU! WILL! LISTEN!” Roll Intimidate check... The DM himself is intimidated by this. Heck, we're all intimidated. He found his inner rage. Mites fail. The whole group sits down, setting aside their weapons, and continued weeping.
And she finishes. "It was then that the mite city was utterly destroyed. So really, we shouldn't be your enemy..."
The mites, a light-bulb over their tiny, bulbous blue heads ignites all at once. "The Drow".
It was ruled that Svetlana, who rolled so highly on most of her checks had to make a Sense Motive check (complete with -2 modifier) against herself. To this, she failed. She herself believed her own story.
And while the mites stood up around her, they gathered their weapons and charged down the hall, chanting out a new war cry against the Drow, leaving the area and going off to gather their comrades. The ones that were killed by us a few days ago. So that might not go so well, but it was here that the story finished. We had done something I can't say I'd ever done, killed a Barbarian Tooth Fairy, much less encountered one, as well as convinced a bunch of Mites that their long lost ancestors were indeed much taller and Mightier Mites, that they should go and fight the Drow. In conclusion, we might have just sent a band of mites to their death.
It was also at this point that we leveled and Svetlana decided to take a level in Bard, capitalizing on her Charisma and taking a rank in Knowledge History - so that she wouldn't spend her entire gaming career believing that she was a prophet telling a story about ancient mite kings. It was going to happen otherwise.
And that about ends it. We ended a fey menace in the city. We won the day. We leveled. A good night for gaming.
