General Gorstav

Bean Curd Defence Force's page

7 posts. Alias of Limeylongears.




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I've finally found a 2nd hand copy - for £2, which is more than I wanted to pay, but Quality doesn't come cheap. Now, at last, I have the opportunity to share the Rapture with everyone at paizo.com, whether they like it or not.


Who better to solve your personal dilemmas than GoatToucher?

I'll start.

Dear Uncle GoatToucher,

I am experiencing an unacceptable level of shrinkage and cracking when using Fosberg brand silicone sealant in higher than usual temperatures. What should I do?

Yours,

Embarrased Hairy Thing


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Ladies and Gentlemen of paizo.com,

I Write to you as a part of my Spiritual Dutief af a Prince of The Church, for it cannot have Efcaped your Notice, as, indeed, it has not Efcaped Mine, that this Electronical Almanack, or News-Sheet, is Sorely Lacking in Genteel and Civilifed Converfation, for while there is an Entire Day where Guttersnipes, Drabs and Slubbergullions may Ape the Barbarous Jargon of thofe Villainous Defpoilers of our Ocean Commerce, namely, the most Scoundrel-like, Beaftly and Abandoned PYRATES, a Time set Aside for Gentlefolk of Quality to Difcuss fuch Topics as may Enlarge their Understandings, promote Amity, Concord and Moral Uplift and Refresh their Parts after an Arduous Day tending to the Management of their Estates, or Labouring in the Service of their Most Christian Monarch, is Notable by its Absence, as opposed to fuch Noisome Cloaca as FawTl, where the Very Dregs of Grub Street would Blush at the Lewd and Seditious fentiments are Hourly Hawked Wholesale to an Unsuspecting and Horrified Publick.

Although I am Aware that you can Drive a Horse to Water, but not Make it Drink, I hope that my Small Seed will grow into a Mighty Oak, for, indeed, it is the Task that is Never Started that takes Longest to Finish, and a Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss.

Indeed, though I hope my efforts will Bear Fruit, I would not be at all Difpleafed if they prove Unneccessary, as, unfeen and unheard, Gentility oe'rfpreadf us all with her Snowy Wings of politeffe and I see that I am merely Teaching my Grandmother to fu

Bleff my foul, the Bell for Evensong tolleth and I must Away.

Your Devoted Servant,

Beazley.


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1,068 pages of fairly small text (not including handy biog of Sexey Ayn and exposition of the principals of Objectivism) is going to be a bit of a slog, so to motivate myself, every time I pass a significant milestone, I'm going to blow a fanfare on the bugle and note down any comments I have here.


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Hey, you!

Yes, you!

Are you Captain Yesterday?

No?

Yes you are.

And this is the place for YOU!

A place to discuss how great it is to be a Captain Yesterday!

To tell everybody how your troubles were so far away!

To swap makeup tips!

To topple cows - and kingdoms!

Come one, come all! The price of one admission is your mind!


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Q: Why do people put makeup on their ears?

A: 1) So their ears are the same colour as their face is, if they've really been to town with the foundation
2) To conceal unsightly ear-warts
3) What could be more attractive than bright scarlet ears, or Sultry Night-Mist Mauve, or Seafoam Siren Sparkle, if you prefer?


Making a note of the tunes/songs that are buzzing around and around my brain in the hope that they'll go away.

Today:

'Move Your Body. Move Your Body Real Close To Me'. Just those two lines, and I have no idea what the song's actually called

And

The theme tune to Dogtanian and his Muskerhounds.


This thread was supposed to be called The <<DO NOT ANNOY KAJEHASE>> thread, but, well, fat fingers. Could you change it, please?


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Don't do it! It's against the rules, and if you do, he'll row across the sea and discover your continent or loot your monastery!

So, this is where you can hereby solemnly swear not to do something - anything! - to annoy Kajehase.

For example, I hereby solemnly swear never to call him a Norwegian.


Anyone who's seen the fantastic Sci Fi epic 'Space Mutiny' may know what I mean. What we do, MST3000 style, is think up suitable names for the burly two fisted hero, like so:

SPAM CHUCKRUMP
BLAST OXGLANDS
BRASS RUBDOWN

and so on. Try to match it to the poster above if you like.


A great man, unjustly swept under the carpet by the fickle steamroller of public opinion. Pumpy Narkwell Airport has been replaced by a fibreglass pig. The Narkwell spatula has been superseded by more modish but less functional designs. You can search supermarkets the world over without finding a single Pumpy Biscuit on sale.

Worst of all, despite months of public protest and strong representations by Dame Judi Dench, ex-Prime Minister Spencer Perceval and Cosmo, Huddersfield Town FC have taken away the statue of Pumpy that used to stand proudly outside the John Smith's Stadium and had it melted down in order to make their chairman an extra pair of bronze horns! I would go on, but I'm too upset.

Hopefully, you feel as strongly about this as I do - if so, please pledge your support to the Reinflate Pumpy campaign here


Here's a trailer