International Talk Like A Fop Day

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Ladies and Gentlemen of,

I Write to you as a part of my Spiritual Dutief af a Prince of The Church, for it cannot have Efcaped your Notice, as, indeed, it has not Efcaped Mine, that this Electronical Almanack, or News-Sheet, is Sorely Lacking in Genteel and Civilifed Converfation, for while there is an Entire Day where Guttersnipes, Drabs and Slubbergullions may Ape the Barbarous Jargon of thofe Villainous Defpoilers of our Ocean Commerce, namely, the most Scoundrel-like, Beaftly and Abandoned PYRATES, a Time set Aside for Gentlefolk of Quality to Difcuss fuch Topics as may Enlarge their Understandings, promote Amity, Concord and Moral Uplift and Refresh their Parts after an Arduous Day tending to the Management of their Estates, or Labouring in the Service of their Most Christian Monarch, is Notable by its Absence, as opposed to fuch Noisome Cloaca as FawTl, where the Very Dregs of Grub Street would Blush at the Lewd and Seditious fentiments are Hourly Hawked Wholesale to an Unsuspecting and Horrified Publick.

Although I am Aware that you can Drive a Horse to Water, but not Make it Drink, I hope that my Small Seed will grow into a Mighty Oak, for, indeed, it is the Task that is Never Started that takes Longest to Finish, and a Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss.

Indeed, though I hope my efforts will Bear Fruit, I would not be at all Difpleafed if they prove Unneccessary, as, unfeen and unheard, Gentility oe'rfpreadf us all with her Snowy Wings of politeffe and I see that I am merely Teaching my Grandmother to fu

Bleff my foul, the Bell for Evensong tolleth and I must Away.

Your Devoted Servant,



I speak like this already.

I say.

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