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Balano's page
Organized Play Member. 7 posts. No reviews. No lists. No wishlists. 2 Organized Play characters.
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Hello everybody.
I've made some changes into the old Piper. I took yours advices and try too improve my creature. I hope you enjoy it.
Thank You.
Like some ghostly child, this mischiveous creature wears a brilliant scarf and smokes a longpipe.
Shimmering Terror CR 4
XP 1,200
CE Small fey (incorporeal)
Init
+9;
Senses
darkvision 60 ft.; Perception +11
Aura Shining Fear (30 ft., DC 14)
----- Defense -----
AC 20, touch 16, flat-footed 15 (+5 Dex, +4 deflection, +1 size)
hp 27 (6d6+6)
Fort +5,
Ref +10,
Will +7
Defensive Abilities
incorporeal
DR 5/cold iron
----- Offense -----
Speed 20 ft. Fly 60 ft. (good)
Melee +1 Shimmering Scarf +10 (1d4)
Special Abilities Shrill Whistle, Shimmering Scarf, Dread Eater.
Spell-Like Abilities (CL 6th; concentration +10)
3/day— haunting Mist (DC 16), invisibility, minor image (DC 16)
-----Statistics-----
Str 8, Dex 20, Con 13, Int 14, Wis 15, Cha 19
Base Atk +3; CMB +2; CMD 17
Feats Great fortitude, Improved initiative, Weapon finesse.
Skills Disguise +10, Escape Artist +16, Fly +18, Knowledge (nature) +11, Perception +11, Perform (Whistle) +13, Stealth +20, Survival +8; Racial Modifiers +4 stealth(in Warm forest)
Languages Common and Sylvan
----- Ecology -----
Environment warm forest
Organization solitary, pair, or gang (3–5)
Treasure standard
----- Special Abilities -----
Shining Fear (Su) A shimmering terror is cloaked in a 30-foot aura of fear. The first time it ends its turn within the aura, a creature must make a DC 14 Will save or become shaken for as long as it stays within the aura. If the creature succeeds at the saving throw, it cannot be affected again by the aura for another 24 hours. This is a fear effect. The DC is Charisma-based.
Shrill Whistle (Su) As a standard action a shimmering terror can produce a sound like a whistle that alerts other shimmering terrors in 1 mile about his position. Any shimmering terror that hear it are immediately teleported adjacent to the whistler. The caller and any shimmering terror teleported in this way gain the benefits of the swap places and improved swap places feats.
Shimmering Scarf (Su) A shimmering scarf in the hands of a shimmering terror is treating like a +1 Brillant Energy Scarf, bladed. While wearing this scarf, a shimmering terror body is incorporeal and he can fly at will. These abilities are lost if the scarf is removed or destroyed. The shimmering terror become slave from those who possesses his scarf and will obey all her commands.
Dread eater (Su) Each round as a swift action the shimmering terror can target a single living creature that was affected by his aura and try to drain his vital life.The target must make a DC 14 Fort, if fails its saving throw, it takes 2d6 of negative energy, and the shimmering terror gain half of the damage has temporary hit points.
These terrifying fey exist to eliminate all the peace of those who walk through the jungle. Shimmering terrors are mainly recognized for their brilliant scarves and their long pipes. These beings feed and live the fear of those who cross their paths. Shimmering terrors usually torment their victims in groups, producing acute whistles and confusing their prey into the forest. These creatures are treacherous and mischievous and can fool even those who consider themselves wiser enough. Rumors say that the shimmering terrors powers reside in their scarf and anyone who can catch it will have full control over the creature.
Jacob W. Michaels wrote: Hey Balano,
Welcome to Blazing 9; good to see new faces.
I'm afraid I think the piper needs a little work. Please keep in mind that I'm judging as if I were judging for Superstar, so I hope you'll see this all as constructive. I don't mean to pile on.
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Hey Jacob, i'm really glad that you have comment my monster.
I will accept all your advices and improve the Piper (even change the name).
You gave me a LOT of good ideas and i am excited to make my creature best as possible.
About the color of the Piper and the slave feature I honestly apologize myself, i'm Brazilian and my country has a really sad history of slavery. just to be clear I have full respect for black people (sorry if this term is disrespectful).
English is not my first language (it's obvious), and i'm trying hard to translate my ideas, they sound good in portuguese (brazilian oficial language) but i'm not a native speaker and have hard time to found the "flavour" of a good description.
Again i'm sorry if i have injured somebody.
Just to finish, i will not give up, i will remake my monster and you will love it!!!!
Hello everybody, this is my firt submision for blazing nine. I hope you enjoy.
Thank You!
Like some ghostly black child, this mischiveous creature wears a radiant blue scarf and smokes a longpipe.
Piper CR 4
XP 1,200
CE Small fey (incorporeal)
Init +9; Senses darkvision 60 ft.; Perception +11
----- Defense -----
AC 20, touch 16, flat-footed 15 (+5 Dex, +4 Deflection, +1 Size)
hp 27 (6d6+6)
Fort +5, Ref +10, Will +7
Defensive Abilities incorporeal DR 5/cold iron
----- Offense -----
Speed 20 ft. Fly 60 ft. (good)
Melee dagger +9 (1d3-1)
Ranged darts +9 (1d3)
Spell-Like Abilities (CL 6th; concentration +10)
Constant - Fly
At will – Cause fear (DC 15), Ventriloquism (DC 15), Disguise Self (DC 15)
3/day— Invisibility, Minor image (DC 16), Haunting Mist (DC 16)
1/day— Deep Slumber (DC 17)
-----Statistics-----
Str 8, Dex 20, Con 13, Int 14, Wis 15, Cha 18
Base Atk +3; CMB +2; CMD 17
Feats Improved initiative, Weapon finesse, Great fortitude.
Skills Fly +18, Perform (Comedy) +13, Escape Artist +16, Disguise +10, Knowledge (nature) +11, Perception +11, Stealth +20, Survival +8; Racial Modifiers +4 stealth(in Jungle)
Languages Common and Sylvan
----- Ecology -----
Environment Tropical Jungle
Organization solitary, pair, or gang (3–5)
Treasure standard
----- Special Abilities -----
Shrill Whistle (Su) As a stardard action a piper can produce a sound like a whistle that alerts other pipers in 1 mile about his position. Other creatures cannot determine from where the sound comes.
Blue Scarf (Su) A piper wears a blue, radiant blue scarf. While wearing this scarf, a piper body is incorporeal and he can fly at will. These abilities are lost if the scarf is removed or destroyed. Scarfs are not transferable, even between pipers. The piper become slave from those who possesses his scarf and will obey all her commands.
These terrifying fey exist to eliminate all the peace of those you walk through the jungle. Pipes are mainly recognized for his totally black body, his blue scarves and their long pipes. These beings feed and live the fear of those who cross their paths. Rumors say that the piper powers reside in her scarf and anyone who can catch it will have full control over the creature. Pipers usually torment their victims in groups, producing acute whistles and confusing their prey into the forest. Pipers are treacherous and mischievous and can fool even those who consider themselves wiser enough.
Tothric wrote: Balano wrote: ** spoiler omitted **
Hello!
I'm going to start this item off with some positive. I like the theme. It get the imagery of an elegant tribal hunter who is defending his homelands from invaders.
Like the description. However: There are some unclear terms I wish to address: " The smokescreen least until the wielder swallow it ". How does the user swallow the smoke? What kind of action is that. I'm having a hard time visualizing swallowing smoke. This might be just me.
The illusion in the mist, how long does it last? It doesn't state. While it IMPLIES that the illusion lasts as long as the smoke does, it doesn't state that. Nor does it state that it is concentration. You may want to include how long the Illusion lasts.
Thing I may add: This thing FEELS very tribal, and I wonder if this Should be a blow-Gun instead of a...
Thank You Tothric for the analysis.
I'm very glad that you have liked my item.
I agree that the sentence " The smokescreen least until the wielder swallow it " is a bit confusing, but this is because i'm not a native english speaker, i'm brazilian, so when i was writing the phase i did not found a word that meant "pull back the smoke through the pipe" like a smoker. Oh! and this is a standard action.
In my description the illusion least until the smoke in dismissed. Do you thing this is overpowered?
I choose a Greatclub mostly because of the shape, if i pick a Blowgun how the dart will hit the target if the end of the Pipe is curve? If i shoot the dart will fly up.
Thank you again and sorry for my poor english.
Hi everybody.
This is a item that i have created, could you help me to make it better?
Smokehunter Pipe
Aura Faint Conjuration; CL 5th
Slot none; Price 21,800 gp; Weight 8 lbs.
Description
This +1 Greatclub is a large hollow wooden pipe. It has heavy metal edges decorated with carved clouds. Once a day, as a standard action, it can be blown and release a white smokescreen, this smoke spread in a 40 foot radius and obscures all sight, including, dark vision beyond 10 foot, someone within 10 foot has concealment and farther away have total concealment. The Smokehunter Pipe wielder can see through this smoke normally. The smokescreen least until the wielder swallow it or until fall unconscious.
Inside the smoke, the wielder can blow the Smokehunter Pipe as a standard action and create a copy of himself made of fog. The illusion stay in the place where it was created and cannot make any action. Anyone that interact with the illusion must make a DC 15 Will save to disbelieve.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, Obscuring Mist, Minor Image, Darkvision; Cost 10,900 gp
Feros wrote: Tenth Page Critiques:
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Really, when I told my friends about my item they said:
- Hey, they might say you're watching too much hentai.
In creation I did not think about it, just the visual effect of some villains using against players in a lake or something like that.
Thanks for the feedback.
Jellyfish Belt – 196 Words
Jellyfish Belt
Aura strong conjuration; CL 10th
Slot belt; Price 34,800 gp; Weight 2 lbs.
Description
This translucent belt is composed of a gelatinous substance that is supported by a transparent skin, submerged in water it becomes lightly pink, expands and creates deadly tentacles.
Whenever the wearer submerges the belt in any type of water (saltwater or freshwater), this expands in size and creates huge tentacles of 20-ft.-radius centered on the belt. The tentacles attack everyone (enemies or allies), except de wearer, that enter in this area. The tentacles remain active for ten rounds or until dispelled.
Every creature within the area of the Jellyfish Belt is the target of a black tentacles spell, the tentacles has the following statistics: CMB 15 and CMD 25. If the character is wearing the belt when it is submerged this gains the ability to float on water. The wearer gains +10 competence bonus on swim checks, but cannot dive.
Because the belt only work if previously dry, it is necessary to remove all its water before using it again, the Jellyfish Belt can only be used once a day.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, black tentacle; Cost 17,400 gp
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