Ancrym Morn's page

Dear S. N.,

If it's all the same, I'll prefer the undead rakshasa cub. I've never heard of a Shoanti domesticating one of those, so I'll be the first in my quah to have one.

Eagerly,
Ancrym of the Skoan-Quah

Dear ask a Shoanti.

I am a minkan demigoddess of all things feline and dislike my domain. i have been around for 3,631 years (and have looked like a minkan child all this time too) and seek a promotion in the divine heirarchy. how do i get one?

Shuriken Nekogami

P.S. i like the advantages of faking childhood, but i dislike the disadvantages. how do i get the good stuff without the bad?

Dear S. N.,

I suggest it may be time for your rite of passage. You'll get no respect until you can prove yourself as an adult. I have fond memories of my rite of passage: entering the pitch-black cave, crawling forward on my belly hundreds of yards into the depths of the earth along a tunnel I could barely squeeze through, facing the terrors that lurked in the lightless chambers beyond, and re-emerging into the light with the skull of my totem animal as an adult.

But what kind of rite of passage would be suitable for a demigoddess? My first thought was for you to undertake a spirit journey, but, being a spirit yourself, it might be a little pointless. Perhaps a better rite of passage would be to slay a rival deity--perhaps the dog god--in single combat and claim its portfolio for yourself. Think big! Why settle for just felines, when you could be the goddess of house pets of ALL kinds?

Ancrym of the Skoan-Quah

P.S. Faking childhood is an exercise in weakness. It's much better to be an adult. Adults get to eat our enemies' still-beating hearts before our dinner if we want to.

Dear Ask A Shoanti,

Along one of our more recent adventures, my party and I came across a village in need of our assistance, a woman spoke for them. In the few short moments that we spoke to this woman, she started to... change. We believed her to be a village elder, but the more she spoke she revealed herself to be just another old crone, before we finally realized she was actually some sort of toothless hag! Is this some sort of disease, like leprosy? Or should we just stop meeting strange women in small village bars?

3-Legged Coyote

Dear 3-Legged Coyote,

Clearly SHE didn't gnaw your leg off.

Ancrym of the Skoan-Quah

Dear ask a Shoanti,

I don't know whether you're the right guy to ask this, but I have nowhere else to go, and so I'll just go and ask you!

I'm in a serious moral conundrum: I recently took out a hit on some successful but fatally scrupulous merchant. The agreed-on compensation was 3000 gold pieces.

But when I later opened the bag, it turned out to be 3000 platinum pieces! Just in case these civilised currencies are unknown to you: That's 10 times as much as the asking price! He certainly didn't overpay me by that much intentionally.

So you can surely understand the dilemma I am in: Do I need to share with my guild?

Dear Jarod,

A Shoanti war-leader, or "Jothka," usually bestows the spoils of war on his warriors to reward their loyalty and bravery. Only the strong can afford to be generous. Only the weak pay tribute. Do not "share" with your guild. Either pay tribute like a Chelaxian slave or buy the loyalty of your comrades and seize power for yourself.

Generously,
Ancrym of the Skoan-Quah

Dear Ask a Shoanti,

Why not Ask Two Shoantis ?

Hungry in Hoarwood.

Dear Hungry,

Because if the two Shoanti disagree about the answer, you wouldn't want to fall victim to the ensuing collateral damage.

Ancrym of the Skoan-Quah

Dear Ulgulanoth's hat,

This thread was moved into the archives as an eternal monument to its glory. We of the Skoan-Quah watch over such things to honor the ancestors and make sure they are never tainted with undeath. In this case, I will allow an exception and permit thread necromancy.

Ancrym of the Skoan-Quah

Just because the culture is doomed does not mean the people are. The Shoanti may over time intergrate themselves into the region as a whole and the culture will suffer and the more advanced "civilization" dominates. But the people will still be there, the ethinicty

You misunderstand. When I say "We of the Skoan-Quah will remain," what I mean is, "We of the Skoan-Quah will crush the Chelaxian interlopers beneath our mighty earthbreakers."

We of the Skoan-Quah will remain.