All Yesterday's Parties's page

As I get towards the end of my snow route (minimum of 12 hours) I inevitably see a truck behind me and think "that's weird, who's following me?!" Only to realize a second later that it is in fact, my truck.

You're starting to sound like Fred.

Naked, Came I. Memoirs of a Succubus. The best book title I've ever come up with.

Naked, Came She. Penthouse Letters Memoirs of a Wildshaping Druid.

If I could only use one word to describe the snow this morning it would be: dusty.

Dusty Snows sounds like Freehold's wrestling name.

I'm working a block away from home today so it's definitely a good day.

And now it's time for another installment of "Bold Tales: The Legend of Yesterday"...

Co-worker 1: "Dude, Yesterday told me he had to use the bathroom and to stay put. Then he walked about a block away, went up to a house like he owned it, and just walked inside."

Co-worker 2: "No way, dude."

Co-worker 1: "Yes way, dude. Came back in a little bit eating a sandwich he'd made while he was there. Dude's got balls big as churchbells."

+1 the Yesterday Birthday Wishes!

Darth Lisamarlene wrote:

Chocolate.

Does not.
Belong.
In pecan pie.

Nothing belongs in pecan pie.

One of the few "pies" I refuse to eat. (I can immediately add "mud pie" and "cow pie" to that list, but I'll have to think harder to come up with more...)

I quite enjoy most chocolate (except Hershey's) and I'll eat raw pecans until I'm nauseously full, but I do not like chocolate pecan pie. Or regular pecan pie either.

Well, we HAVE been at this for over three years now...

♫♪ "Time keeps on slippin', slippin', slippin'

Awwww,....

You sank my morning coffee cup!

If I just watched my coffee mug sink into the top of my desk and vanish, I'd start drinking morning bourbon.

Also: Rose, there was room on that door stroopwafel for two!

Scintillae wrote:

...sea turtles are explicitly illegal to own.

...and that’s why I rent mine.

Hmmm... turtle time shares?

So, nothing, eh?

A community member for nearly ten years and no one is even a little bit interested.

You people realize I've driven 18,000+ miles across country, I've been complimented by a Beatle, Dave Matthews, 2 presidential candidates, AND Sir Mix-a-Lot.

But you're right, I'm probably not that interesting...

And that's just a fraction of my life, who knows what else I know, or have done.

It can be really difficult to think of good, compelling questions. And I am certainly no Bernard Pivot.

Stupid comma guy, stealing Tacticslion's job...

I'm surprised Favoriting Comma Guy isn't already somebody's alias.

Which is too bad because it's going to be a big ass patio.

I've heard of custom-shaped pools before, but custom-shaped patios are new to me.

gran rey de los mono wrote:

As self-driving cars become more and more common, so too does the chance of a friend or family member arriving at your house dead.

That joke died in transit.

“When I die, I want to go like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.”

I have a tin of bear in my luggage!

Something something Prince Albert in a can?

Today I'm working solo because everyone else has dust certification class.

I get to level off a huge area that will soon have a high end patio (the rest of my week) and outdoor kitchen (which we'll build next week).

I wonder how long it'll be until confused stoners start a Johnny Appleseed-ish/Paul Bunyan-ish urban legend about a traveling Eddie Vedder building patios, decks, and other backyard design elements?

As Thread Necromancy is still a subset of Necromancy proper, does our alignment take a hit further toward evil every time we add a comment?

"Buried like old poop in an unchanged cat litter box. Schröedenger's hep cat? He'd moved on, plinking piano ivories at Lucy's, a grungy 'nip bar on the outskirts of downtown. It started raining on the way there, pouring cats. It was the dogs that surprised me."

(Writing even crapping noir pastiche is hard.)

My challenge to you is to come up with two lame ideas, and I will do what Butcher did; create a fantasy world and story based on them.

Two lamé ideas? Like lamé evening gowns and lamé sci-fi jumpsuits?

Ooooo, ahhhhh...

Now I just need CD Projekt RED to finish their Cyberpunk 2077 RPG.

YOU KNOW NOTHING, JOHN SN-NAPIER~!

WE ALL SECRETLY BREATHE WATER, BY THE POWER OF OUR LUNG-SOAP!

DIHYDROGEN OXIDE IS THE FUTURE OF CLEAN POWER!

VIVA LA REVOLUTIOOOOOOONNNNN~!

That's some Doc Bronner's Magic All-One level pro-water marketing, right there.

Like making them chug potions of protection from evil and chaos until they are lawful good and thus learn to see the errors of their ways.

Worst. frat party. EVAR.

If a paladin Falls in winter, do they spring ahead forward through time to the next autumn? Or do they travel backwards to the previous autumn?

Sorry, not much energy of late, even for snarking.

Edit: Also, why no X-Ray Vision? You can ruin photographic film and give your enemies cancer with it.

♫♪ If I had a Mjolnir,
I'd hammer in the morning,
I'd hammer in the evening,
All over this Internet... ♫♪

You ever notice Kathie Lee Gifford is never seen in public on full moons? She's probably an afflicted were-Regis on those nights.

No, every year, all the Regii skitter home to Reno, much as the swallows return to Capistrano, the Elvii to Vegas, and the Paulies Shore to the Bio-Dome.

Reno is infested with Regis impersonators.

Ensign 8minutesago wrote:

I told the captain, every chance I could, to not put the cows in the rigging, even if they do tie magnificent knots.

Cows are great for everything!

What is this? A thread for cows? How can we be expected to teach others to learn how to Yesterday... if they can't even fit inside the thread? {tips self}

{jingles all the way up to 11}