This place can use this link to spice things up!
EDIT: DANG IT. Are we under FaWtL rules, or...?
(Either way, I'm totally dressed. Dang it.)
Ha! Top of the page makes you Captain Yesterday. :-)
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It should be noted, as Captain Yesterday, it's your civic responsibility to either create three aliases, or derail five threads talking about your kids or by comparing it to t.v. shows or movies no one else has cared about for at least fifteen years.
Off handedly mentioning how you may or may not be Antonio Banderas also counts.
Captain Yesterday fun fact: my daughter once said I looked like Antonio Banderas.
Do you have to take Exotic Weapon Proficiency before you can use an Antonio Banderas?
No, but you better jack up the Sleight of Hand and Perception.
Mustaches don't become that paper thin on their own.
What do we have here...
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I should probably mention that when my kids say I look like Antonio Banderas, it's as Burgerbeard the Pirate, from The Spongebob Movie: Sponge Out Of Water.
But, it's still Antonio Banderas, so.
I've found my people...
*sigh*
That was less fulfilling than I thought it would be...
*walks away, falls down cleverly disguised spiked pit trap*
...
...
Medic...
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*walks away, falls down cleverly disguised spiked pit trap*
...
...
Medic...
OK, you're an ambulance.
Wait, I've messed up the punchline. Could you fall into the hole with the spikes again, and I'll take another stab it?
Ha! You wouldn't believe what he did for a twinkie!
It didn't look like a twinkie to me.
Then again, it was dark, and I was only 19.
I'm sure there's a cautionary tale buried somewhere in here, but I'll be damned if I can find it.
"Buried like old poop in an unchanged cat litter box. Schröedenger's hep cat? He'd moved on, plinking piano ivories at Lucy's, a grungy 'nip bar on the outskirts of downtown. It started raining on the way there, pouring cats. It was the dogs that surprised me."
(Writing even crapping noir pastiche is hard.)