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Shawl, Sunrise
Aura moderate abjuration and conjuration; CL 10th
Slot head or shoulders; Price 12,000 gp; Weight —
Description
This rectangular garment is usually made from golden silk embroidered with tiny sunbursts. It can be worn over the shoulders or wrapped around the head.
In order to activate the magic of the shawl, it must be placed in the light of the rising sun at dawn and left in direct sunlight for one hour. When charged in this manner, the shawl feels pleasantly warm and shimmers lightly.
A wearer with the ability to channel positive energy may use the shawl to refresh the bodies and minds of her allies. By expending two uses of channel energy, the wearer can amplify her channel to make all targets feel as if they had just risen from a restful night’s sleep. Instead of the normal effect, the channel bestows the same natural healing as eight hours of sleep, removes the fatigued and exhausted conditions, and allows spellcasters that require rest to prepare spells to do so. This does not allow a spellcaster to prepare spells more than once per day. Anyone refreshed by the channel must rest normally for at least eight hours before they can benefit from such magical refreshment again. Once the shawl has been used in this way, it becomes inactive until recharged.
The positive energy stored in a charged sunrise shawl grants the wearer a +4 morale bonus on saves against negative energy effects, including channeled negative energy and energy drain.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, death ward, lesser restoration, creator must worship Sarenrae; Cost 6,000 gp
I'm a little concerned that this item lets spellcasters immediately prepare spells (after charging the item for an hour). Granted, they still can't do so more than once per day. And I like that they made it so you have to rest normally for 8 hours before you can benefit from its power again. Mostly, I really like the Sarenrae theme to this item (which you can sense even without the designer pointing it out--except in the construction requirements, which I actually don't like that much--I'd rather see others be able to craft this item, too).
That said, it's a pretty tight item with a decent core mechanic. I like the layered effects. It plays well with Golarion (meaning, they used the campaign setting and got everything to fit really well). And this designer has a keen eye for paying attention to detail. I'd like to see what else they've got up their sleeve.
Vote to Keep.
This is pretty tight. I had thought that it would be too cheap compared to a ring of sustenance (the no-sleep, prepare-spells aspects are the key to this item), but the ring is cheap and this is comparable to using it on a party of 6. Plus, it has the recharge mechanic to offset its costs. And thematically, it's pretty tight--I can picture Kyra wearing something like this.
Keep!
This is an item that is functionally identical to a lot of submissions we get. The item that lets you ignore the downsides to not resting. First, that's an obvious, non-Superstar thing to design. Second, the choice to rest or not rest should be meaningful; that's why it has repercussions on the characters. Third, it throws in a substantial bonus that has zero to do with its primary purpose. I guess that the designer felt that unless this bonus was included, the item would simply live in the character's bag of holding until needed, and make a swift return after use. Frankly, that's exactly what's going to happen and that should have been a clue that the item had problems.
I do not recommend that you vote for this designer.
I can't believe I like this. Normally I feel like Ryan--how is this not just an "avoid the inconvenience of sleeping" item that we often see as camping items.
But this is the exception that proves the rule.
This is a good item. Again, I've said it before (and seem to be saying it a lot about keepers this year), wondrous items provide a great chance not just to grant spell effects but to monkey with rules systems. Normally, items designed to get around sleeping requirements are just cheesy "lets make the game easier" kind of items. This one is not. The charge requirement is good, the fact you have to actually rest before getting this effect again is a good limit. It shows a practical limitation and a knowledge of such limits--if you are going in the dungeon, you can charge this baby up and use it once (since you probably cant recharge it within the dungeon) and in using it you give up your +4 save against negative energy. That is an interesting choice.
I REALLY like this item.
Strong Keep from me.
Another aspect that helps this item's appeal (from a game design stantpoint) is that it requires the expenditure of two uses of a cleric's channel energy ability to activate the shawl and refresh everyone. At high levels that might not seem as big a deal. And, a cleric with the Extra Channel feat might not feel the hit that much. But it is still tapping a finite resource to enable its use. It's not just a 1/day or continuous effect that doesn't drain any of your other resources. It's a trade-off, basically. And that's a very wise design choice.
Congratulations on making it to the Top 32.
This item comes close to duplicating the day subdomain. There are a number of differences though, both tap a different finite resource, for example. Further, the subdomain allows the an additional saving throw against long-term afflications (such as diseases).
This one has me on the fence. On the one hand, I agree with Clark - especially about the inability to easily recharge the shawl while dungeon crawling (and having to choose between your +4 bonus or grabbing a free 8 hours of rest). That choice makes it interesting. On the other hand, however, it's a bit too similar to the day subdomain. Unsurprisingly, clerics of Sarenrae have access to the day subdomain.
What I like:
Good job on specifying spellcasters don't get to prepare more than once a day, because I was building up a case in my head against this as I was reading. :-)
Much like I appreciated the recharge mechanic in the flask of liquid sunlight, I like the similar one here. Essentially making it a little less than a once per day item, depending on circumstances.
And not least, the description on this thing is quite lovely.
What I love:
So, once you remove the possibility of refreshing spells from the equation, I really like the 'you feel rested' power of this item. It's not something I've seen before, so lots of credit to you for finding a completely new effect to work with. It's probably pretty situational, but that's okay too, since the shawl has a nice side effect for the wearer to enjoy until such time as the party needs a zap of sunlight & caffeine.
(Edit: Okay, Jerall points out the similarity of this power to the Day subdomain, which I didn't recognize because I really can't keep all the subdomains straight. So it's not completely new, like I thought. But regardless of that, I like the implementation here.)
What needs a little sumptin' sumptin'...
While the ruling on spell preparation is quite clear, can I assume that using this doesn't also refresh a cleric's channels per day as though they'd rested? Because that would, of course, be cheesy as all get out. (Same for any daily use allocated abilities, of course, but since this is activated by channeling, that was the biggest one that came to mind.) Actually, I do assume that, since the description says nothing about recharging any daily abilities, but I feel the need to put something in my sumptin' sumptin' field, and since I like this item a lot, it was a stretch. I cheated, sue me.
All in all...
Honestly, the more I think about this the more I like it. It's fairly low key and has a really interesting fuction without throwing balance to the wind. Congratulations and welcome to RPG Superstar!
I was all set to dislike this because the name is kind of boring, but I’m actually a fan. This isn’t flashy but it is innovative and useful. I particularly like the touch of allowing spellcasters to prepare spells, as well as the charging mechanism to prevent abuse. From a design standpoint, I really respect an item that at first makes you think “this is broken!” because it lets you do something unexpected, but then on second thought you realize that it’s actually cunningly balanced. This is a great example of an unexpected way of interfacing with the rules of the game.
Congratulations Jacob. I hope you go all the way.
I don't like that after activation this item ends at the bottom of the backpack, as Ryan points out. Other than that I like your presentation and the game effect of the Sunrise Shawl!
Thank you very much! I'm really proud to have made it into the top 32, and will do my utmost to live up to the honor.
Also big Thank You to Lord oKOyA, Bruno Kristensen and Alexander Kilcoyne, who gave me valuable feedback during the creation process, without which I most likely would not be here.
Once my mind settles down a bit, I'll post on my thoughts and design choices (that is allowed for this round, right?).
Yes, you're free to post your thoughts, if you wish. Just be advised everyone's watching you under a microscope now. The persona you display here on the boards can impact how they view you in later rounds when they're casting votes on your future work.
Yes, you're free to post your thoughts, if you wish. Just be advised everyone's watching you under a microscope now. The persona you display here on the boards can impact how they view you in later rounds when they're casting votes on your future work.
Thanks, Neil (and thanks again, Neil :-D). I'll make sure to give every post I make extra thought.
As a player I like the item. But if I were judging from the guidelines of this contest I would have shot it down. It is too much like an already existing item. I hate it when the player and pseudo-judge in me disagree. Congratulations though. Round two it is.
Congrats, Jacob. Very interesting item. My favorite of the round!
. . . It's not just a 1/day or continuous effect that doesn't drain any of your other resources. It's a trade-off, basically. And that's a very wise design choice.
Ya, very cool feature.
Excellent item.
Well, congratulations on making it in. Your item is interesting and I'll be watching (if nothing else for the first Danish contestant), but that said, I see several problems here most of which were raised by the judges, and, on top of that, I'm honestly tired of Sarenrae items.
Good luck further on.
Its simple, elegant and balanced. I like it.
RPG Superstar 2013 Top 4, RPG Superstar 2011 Top 16
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Dedicated Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7
aka primemover003
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I like this item, but the name is a little flower childish for me. Perhaps Rejuvenating Shawl would've been more descriptive of the item and its abilities. Other than that it's my favorite of the Sunshine trio of items in this years competition.
--Smock-Vrock
Congratulations Jacob,
I was a little leery of all the sunshine items, but I do actually like this. The recharge is neat, the limited use is smart, and it is an item every one can benefit from having in the party. Nice job, I hope you go far! :)
Thanks a bunch for the feedback so far, and please keep it coming.
I'm particularly pleased that people seem to like the simplicity and balance of the item, because these are areas where I worked extra hard.
As to weaknesses, it seems like I'd better ramp up on the excitement-factor for round 2, especially when it comes to naming.
I agree with Neil's assessment of the double-channel expenditure balancing this item's usefulness nicely, as well as Clark's comment that this is the type of item that I normally hate, but you presented it in a way that I love. Nice work.
It still takes one hour to prepare your spells whether you're rested or not.
Check your Pathfinder PRD Ladies and Gentlemen.
I felt someone should point that out for the poor author. :) It's not that much a free pass, especially when its consuming an important resource like channeling.
The question on whether you can channel again is just an oversight. No item is perfect and that's easily nipped in the bud.
Its a good item.
Congrats!
Look forward to next round.
Again, congratulations on making the top 32, and good luck with the rest of the competition.
I was going to review this item as I have done with others when I fell over an issue that's got me well and good confused. Basically, I noticed this quote:
While the ruling on spell preparation is quite clear, can I assume that using this doesn't also refresh a cleric's channels per day as though they'd rested? Because that would, of course, be cheesy as all get out. (Same for any daily use allocated abilities, of course, but since this is activated by channeling, that was the biggest one that came to mind.) Actually, I do assume that, since the description says nothing about recharging any daily abilities
This made me consider whether the item was at all useful for non-spellcasters (and lower level casters, who still depend on school/bloodline/domain/mystery/etc. powers). However I noticed the following in your description (bold, italized emphasis is mine):
A wearer with the ability to channel positive energy may use the shawl to refresh the bodies and minds of her allies. By expending two uses of channel energy, the wearer can amplify her channel to make all targets
From this, it's rather unclear if the wearer of the shawl is targeted at all (the wearer, I assume, due to the need to use channel positive to be a cleric, oracle or paladin (unlikely, due to lay on hands cost), and therefore to be rather dependent on spells). I'd like this clarified as I think it raises something of an issue.
I'll be happy to give you more extensive comments later on, but presently this is kind of confusing my understanding of your item. I'm sorry to burden you with questions at this point, feel free to delay your answer until you are fully rested from the organization submission.
Again, good luck.
Now that I have turned in my organization for round 2 and had a chance to sleep, I'm more than ready to begin answering questions and making comments.
On design process
I took a page right out of Neil's playbook on this one, following the advice given in the Superstar Panel (that recording was SUPER helpful). I started with the physical object (the shawl), came up with the name and the recharge mechanic and started to brainstorm on what powers an item like that might have.
Originally, I intended the item to be more geared towards paladins, allowing them to add the effects of their mercies to their channels. Then I came across the Merciful Healer cleric archetype and that idea went right out the window. I'm eternally grateful that I don't know the cleric subdomains as well as Jerall, because if I had realized how close the effect was to the Day Domain power, I would likely have scrapped the current idea too.
Anyway, after mulling over the name a bit, I decided that feeling rested tied in very nicely with sunrise. And the channel mechanic seemed to be the obvious mechanic to use to convey the effect. Then there is the add-on effect, the +4 bonus. There were a lot of other different add-on effects at various points, including some that were geared towards paladins, augmenting their aura of courage. But this is where the advice from the panel recording was invaluable. I cut and cut and cut, until I was down to the very core of the idea behind the item. And I can't help smiling a bit every time I see someone call the item "tight", because that is exactly what i was going for.
Ryan hit the nail spot on regarding the +4 bonus. I wanted to make sure there was an incentive to actually wear the shawl, rather than just stick it in a backpack or Bag of Holding, and also give it a bit of value to a group without a channeler.
On mechanics
I studied both the rules for memorizing spells and the wording of the Ring of Sustenance very closely while making the Sunrise Shawl. I purposely keyed the item to channel energy, because it not only fit thematically, but also eliminated the need for a lot of rules clarification. So when Luthia asks whether the wearer is included in the effect or not, we simply have to look at the rules for channel energy:
A cleric may channel energy a number of times per day equal to 3 + her Charisma modifier. This is a standard action that does not provoke an attack of opportunity. A cleric can choose whether or not to include herself in this effect.
Similarly, regarding the question of whether or not daily abilities are refreshed or not. They are not, because the item only deals with the feeling of rest. It does not advance time. Just as spells can only be prepared once per day, and still take an hour to prep (thanks for the quote, Jim), the item text makes no mention of daily abilities, so no refreshing smites, rage rounds, domain powers etc.
On balance:
I agree completely with Ryan's statement that the choice to rest should be meaningful. This is the reason I built in the various limiting measures (charging, two channel uses, only one use between rests). I'm very pleased that the comments from both judges and voters show that the care I took to balance this item shows in the final design.
On utility
Pedro Coelho posted this in the What is your top 5 favorite items thread:
3. Sunrise shawl: at first glance this seems to make things too easy, but then, I thought of how many times my characters had to wake at night without full rest and fight or flee or spy or travel or whatever. It is a very useful item that lets players go with the flow without having to stop and break the pace of an adventure just because the rules say so.
That hits my idea with the item spot on. Sometimes you don't have the luxury of taking a nap before continuing the fight against evil. One image I had in my mind while making the item was of a group of Sarenrites riding through the night to come to the aid of a village besieged by gnolls. Arriving exhausted, just as the sun rises, their cleric uses the shawl and they charge into battle.
But the shawl has some in-combat utility too, which I think many people are overlooking. Quite a few things in the game, both spells, class abilities, feats and monster abilities, can give you the exhausted or fatigued condition. Just ask your barbarian buddy if he would like the ability to shake off that ray of exhaustion or Exhausting Critical the BBEG just zapped him with.
Anyway, that was just a few thoughts off the top of my mind. If you have any other questions or comments, please share them.
P.s. Vote Jacob 2012
Sometimes, a party really needs something like this shawl. As you point out, characters don't always get the luxury of a nap before facing the Big Bad. I can't help but think of the climactic scenes in one of the Dracula movies where the heroes arrive at the gates of Dracula's castle just as the sun sets. An adventuring party in a similar circumstance can't simply stop, set up camp, and completely rejuvenate. The shawl serves a great function that allows the story to continue at full pace.
I love it!
Okay, thanks for clearing that up for me, here you go for a closer look at your item:
Analysis
Name: It name fits the item well and it is fairly innovative - good work there!
Template: Looks good.
Description: I'd have liked it more if the item was a little more 100% clear on exactly who, it affected, in exactly what way. I guess it's fairly easy to guess the intention, but I don't like blank spaces like that, they're open for different interpretations, and that can give me problems as a GM.
Effect: Okay, it's a once per day, which can maximally be used every second day (as I see it, I guess you could rest immediately after using the item, but you'd still have to wait until next sunrise for recharging). Thaat's a neat kind of limitation on the power. It recharges spells, removes fatigue and gives a bit of healing. I'm going to have to as good as ignore the constant effect, because as Ryan mentioned, it's just not quite strong enough to be a reason for the item to be carried all the time (unless you know you be getting up against a lot of negative energy based saves, but that has little to do which the core theme). The main effect, the resting, is neat, and I can definitely see it getting used in some situations. You hit your mark for simple and neat there.
Price: Now that I know it doesn't do anything for any non-spell abilities, other than removing fatigued/exhausted and giving a bit of extra healing, I'm a little worried if this is overcosted. It's definitely a neat item in a tight spot, but it just seems to me like it will be used too rarely for any group to consciously choose this, when they can get about 4 rings of sustenance for the same. If a group of mine found it, they might keep it, if they were not high enough level that running out of spells (before everyone else is out of their daily powers anyway) was still an issue. But by the time they had the money to use on this, even if crafting it themselves to save money, they'll just be a lot of other priority items before it, so by the time they had spare gold for this, they wouldn't really need it that often, I'm getting a little feeling. Pricing is a murderously tricky field though, so it's just the feeling I get I'm remarking on.
Overall: You've got a neatly written, somewhat useful item. I still think it'll be in the bagpack most of the time, as the slots, you chose for it (even with having two different options), just have too many other, vastly more "general use" items, that most channel users will want instead available (especially seeing as they mostly have really good Will saves, and at least decent Fortitude saves, and I've never seen a negative energy effect that go against a Reflex save).
So, while you item is good, my vote for you is vastly dependent on what you bring for the organization beign both a little more amazing and a not having a fairly large unadressed point. That said, the organizations are of course already out of your hands, so I guess all I can say is:
Good luck in the voting, and once again, congratulations on making top 32. I hope this was useful.
Thanks for the feedback, Luthia. I hope my organization impresses you enough to secure your vote.
By the way, where in Denmark are you from? I'm in Århus, myself.
Oh, I answered that the last place you asked - just so you know, the thread you directed me to is locked for being in Danish.
This is kind of ironic, actually. I think we've played together once or twice, at Bruno's place. I'm from Silkeborg. Name is Siv L. Strandberg. Remember? You're welcome to look me up if you like, but I prefer to take care of personal security here. My name is unique in Denmark anyway, so I can't be hard to find, even without the middle name.
And as for the vote, I'll admit I have other favourites, who'll have my primary attention, but I don't think they'll take up all eight votes, so there's always a chance. I prefer to cast my votes after what I really like though, so it's just impossible for me to say yet.
Anyways, good luck (gosh, do I say that a lot recently!)
Oohhhh....of course i remember. I just didn't realize it was you.
Heh, neither did I, at first, though I found out a couple of hours after when Bruno wrote something about it. Kind of fun to know someone who got into the top 32, but not know they were even participating before that.
I really like this item ... congrats Jacob!
Contributor, RPG Superstar 2012
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Star Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 9
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Congratulations, Jacob (the Third)! In my opinion this is great, because it does something with positive energy other than boosting its effectiveness. The effects you have chosen feel like they would be generated by a shot of positive energy. The visual and tactile descriptions definitely add to the item as well.
Good luck in the next round!
Hey Jacob, good job. I like the basic core of the item, which I think feels like something that would definitely exist in a fantasy world. After all, it was Rand's refreshing Egwene's horse that was one of the first time Rand channeled in Robert Jordan's "The Eye of the World" and magic to refresh is a staple in the genre.
I think the secondary ability is also key to making it something a player would want to use and keep on regularly.
Finally, interesting that you're also part of the recharging mechanic zeitgeist that seemed to be around this year. Lots of us went for things that PCs would have to do something to keep making use of -- obviously I was one of them, so I like the mechanical choice.
I had to go back and look at your item again. I hadn't originally given much notice to your inclusion of the Golarion element in your wondrous item (i.e., crafter must worship Sarenrae). I commend you on inserting some Golarion flavor into your item without needing to call it out in the item's description, or going overboard on it. The item's powers fit great with Sarenrae's portfolio, and they meld together quite well.
That was one element I went back and forth on with regards to my own entry -- to include some bit of Golarion into the item or not.
I had to go back and look at your item again. I hadn't originally given much notice to your inclusion of the Golarion element in your wondrous item (i.e., crafter must worship Sarenrae). I commend you on inserting some Golarion flavor into your item without needing to call it out in the item's description, or going overboard on it. The item's powers fit great with Sarenrae's portfolio, and they meld together quite well.
That was one element I went back and forth on with regards to my own entry -- to include some bit of Golarion into the item or not.
Thanks, Mark. I believe it is important to find the balance where you season your item with just enough Golarion flavor for fans of the setting to easily recognize it, but not so much that someone unfamiliar with your item can't understand it.
A perfect example is Desna's Triptych of Threefold Wisdom from the 2009 Top 32, an item I still remember being puzzled by when I reviewed the previous years items as research for my first Superstar entry.
At that point, I had never played or read anything from the campaign setting. I had no clue who Desna were, and why the judges were so excited about the butterfly theme. So all I saw was a pretty dull item with a butterfly theme. And I didn't know what a triptych was either.
So, as the saying goes: "Show, don't tell". Flavor your item so a Golarion-fan might say "Hey cool, Desna!" and someone new to the setting might say "Hey, awesome. This item is really neat, even with the butterfly theme."
I was really worried at first that you could only use it when the sun was rising. The choice to make it use 2 channel energies seemed strange to me.
I don't get the spells thing
"allows spellcasters that require rest to prepare spells to do so. This does not allow a spellcaster to prepare spells more than once per day."
Shouldn't we assume that the spellcaster has already prepared spells for the day when this effect happens and since they can only do that once per day why is this effect included?
Hi Ragwaine,
Thanks for your comments
I was really worried at first that you could only use it when the sun was rising. The choice to make it use 2 channel energies seemed strange to me.
The choice to use two channel energy uses, as well as the charge mechanic, was made for balance reasons. I wanted to make sure that using the shawl to refresh everyone was an option you had to consider carefully, and not just something you did automatically without any thought. Neil specifically comments on this above.
I don't get the spells thing
"allows spellcasters that require rest to prepare spells to do so. This does not allow a spellcaster to prepare spells more than once per day."
Shouldn't we assume that the spellcaster has already prepared spells for the day when this effect happens and since they can only do that once per day why is this effect included?
In order to prepare new spells, most spellcasters need these things:
* Rest - at least eight relatively undisturbed hours of sleep or relaxation.
* A quiet place to prepare.
* Time to prepare.
In addition, he can only renew his spells once per day, and if he has cast any spells less than 8 hours before he prepares, they count against his total number of available slots - the Recent Casting Limit.
These limitations are hard-coded into the game rules. The limitations on how often spellcasters get new spells are among the most central in terms of game balance, especially at higher levels where casters have access to increasingly powerful spells. For this reason, you have to be very careful when you begin to tinker with that balance, as I have. That is the reason I specified that the shawl does not remove this limit - the wording is identical to the one used in the Ring of Sustenance, another item that allows spellcasters to prep spells with less than 8 hours uninterrupted rest.
Most of the time, it is not difficult for a party to manage to the rest the spellcasters need within any give 24 hour period. But some times, setting up camp is impossible. The primary intended use of the shawl is in situations where normal rest is either impossible (such as being in a hostile environment or in the middle of a dungeon with rowing monsters) or interrupted (the party is attacked at night and forced to flee). Or perhaps the party HAVE to get somewhere or away from something as quickly as possible, and are forced to travel throughout the night.
Hope that clarifies things.
This is a stronger entry that it seems to be at first glance. You've carefully balanced the shawl's powers, but you've done it with concise language and through editing, rather than rambling on for paragraphs about special cases. This reads like an item that you workshopped with friends before submitting it. It feels edited (and that's a compliment).
The shawl's primary function works really well. The use of channeling to fuel it, the limitations on its use, the provision for casters... all spot-on. The secondary bonus against negative energy does feel a bit tacked-on. I understand why you felt that you needed some ongoing effect, but perhaps you should have found something tied more closely to the rest of the design. This cloak is going to go back in the inventory after use, the negative energy effect notwithstanding, which demonstrates that you didn't quite get the effect you were after.
My advice in future rounds is to keep doing what you're doing, but to show off a bit more in terms of flavor. The flavor on this item isn't bad, but it's not eye-catching. Eye-catching is what you want, because if readers aren't hooked, they won't look closely enough to see smart, subtle design of the sort that you used in this entry.
Good luck!
Well done Jacob! Very tight write-up and you'be proved by your comments on this thread that you've done serious homework, have a strong grasp of mechanics and somehow got me to like something that is more than likely predominantly orange in color! Definitely one to watch, and I look forward to your next entry!
First off, I love that you specify that the shawl doesn’t let casters prepare their spells more than once per day. Very cool item, and I like how it plays with sleep mechanics. I like it, and could see it being a trademark of the handful of characters I have who’d want it.
Shawl, Sunrise
Aura moderate abjuration and conjuration; CL 10th
Slot head or shoulders; Price 12,000 gp; Weight —
Description
This rectangular garment is usually made from golden silk embroidered with tiny sunbursts. It can be worn over the shoulders or wrapped around the head.In order to activate the magic of the shawl, it must be placed in the light of the rising sun at dawn and left in direct sunlight for one hour. When charged in this manner, the shawl feels pleasantly warm and shimmers lightly.
A wearer with the ability to channel positive energy may use the shawl to refresh the bodies and minds of her allies. By expending two uses of channel energy, the wearer can amplify her channel to make all targets feel as if they had just risen from a restful night’s sleep. Instead of the normal effect, the channel bestows the same natural healing as eight hours of sleep, removes the fatigued and exhausted conditions, and allows spellcasters that require rest to prepare spells to do so. This does not allow a spellcaster to prepare spells more than once per day. Anyone refreshed by the channel must rest normally for at least eight hours before they can benefit from such magical refreshment again. Once the shawl has been used in this way, it becomes inactive until recharged.
The positive energy stored in a charged sunrise shawl grants the wearer a +4 morale bonus on saves against negative energy effects, including channeled negative energy and energy drain.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, death ward, lesser restoration, creator must worship Sarenrae; Cost 6,000 gp
Disclaimer:
Note:
Fair is foul and foul is fair supposedly . Basically, though, does this item have any useful application in a spa?
It's a bit expensive, and since succubi tend not to work for lesser beings (such as deities) the main abilities are completely pointless, but it is a nice piece of silk. This one's borderline between expense and appearance as to whether it qualifies as useful.
Assuming for a moment that it’s more convenient to pay taxes than to circumvent the system, does this item look likely to be a tax-deductible business expense for a succubus art-dealer?
Given the abilities are deific servant orientated and that succubi tend not to work too well for most deities, no.
Is the item useful in a strawberries-and-cream-tea context?
Borderline. It looks nice, and it might conceivably impress/reassure some potential romantic dates, if they perceive it as being a 'good' magical item. (Yes, that's silly I know, but some, hunky, muscular types aren't exactly renowned for their intelligence...)
Other Comments?
The shimmering bit is nice, as is the fact that once laid out at one dawn to start it shimmering, it keeps on shimmering until one of the abilities is called upon (which let's face it, most succubus wearers are unlikely ever to do).
Gollum Rating:
Ant Health Warning: this year, I really worked hard on technical execution of my item, so these reviews will likely reflect template use. Brace yourselves for the template fu - it can sting.
Template Use: 10/10
template fu says wow, admitting defeat. The only thing he wasn't sure about was a multi slot item, but on reflection, thinks that it is possible to do so and that doing so is another sign of thinking outside the norm. Well done.
Slot affinity: 9/10
It seemed to fit nicely in either slot, so this is good, but I did find the order of description somewhat odd. The first bit following the introductory description was the recharge mechanic which was followed by the power proper. This seems cart before horse to me. Also the phrasing of the recharge would have been better worded as "To recharge the shawl, it must be placed..." which would have saved 5 words in that sentence alone. (Yeah, template fu has a new sister called tight-write fu, and she is a right pain that is growing daily).
Abuseability: 8/10
Mmm, so if I am in direct sunlight, with my back to the sun, I can recharge whilst wearing it? You have limited the benefits to avoid continued escape from proper rest - thats very good. The only thing I wasn't sure about is what happens if it's an overcast day - does that prevent charging - what happens if a cloud passes infront of the sun during a charge, does the time needed reset? What about items that produce sunlight effects for battling / weakening undead, would they count?
Desirability: 8/10
I can see the party wanting the divine amongst them to get one to benefit the party, but as it only refreshes allies and not the wearer, it could be quite a sacrifice by that player. Checking the core PRD, at that price range, there isnt much in the core items for shoulders or head, so this was a neat hole to aim for to alleviate this potential issue, but even when the priest is getting gear that is more costly, the party pressure to retain this item could be quite high.
Originality: 9/10
Clever slot use for a hole in the price tables, multi slot use. This item I like a lot, it could do with clarification of what contitutes direct sunlight, but on the whole, very nice indeed.
Ant Score: 44/50 (88%)
Anthony, thank you very much for your review, which i must admit I have looked forward to almost as much as the inevitable visit from the friendly neighborhood RPGSupersuccubus. Advice on how to tighten up my writing is especially appreciated, so keep that coming, both for this and other entries.
One point, which I have already mentioned in a previous post.
Desirability: 8/10
I can see the party wanting the divine amongst them to get one to benefit the party, but as it only refreshes allies and not the wearer, it could be quite a sacrifice by that player.
On mechanics
I studied both the rules for memorizing spells and the wording of the Ring of Sustenance very closely while making the Sunrise Shawl. I purposely keyed the item to channel energy, because it not only fit thematically, but also eliminated the need for a lot of rules clarification. So when Luthia asks whether the wearer is included in the effect or not, we simply have to look at the rules for channel energy:
A cleric may channel energy a number of times per day equal to 3 + her Charisma modifier. This is a standard action that does not provoke an attack of opportunity. A cleric can choose whether or not to include herself in this effect.
All the best
/Jacob
No worries, as you can tell, I try to not read anyone else's feedback or posts first in order to keep mine as neutral, unswayed and fresh as possible - I was reading that bit just as you posted :)
Again, very well done on the template, I dont think there were many 10s at all in my reviews.
If you get the chance to clarify sunlight effects on recharge, I would be most appreciative. Thanks again.
No worries, as you can tell, I try to not read anyone else's feedback or posts first in order to keep mine as neutral, unswayed and fresh as possible - I was reading that bit just as you posted :)
Again, very well done on the template, I dont think there were many 10s at all in my reviews.
If you get the chance to clarify sunlight effects on recharge, I would be most appreciative. Thanks again.
Well, let's look at the RAW of the item:
In order to activate the magic of the shawl, it must be placed (IMO, placed implies removing the item and putting it on the ground or similar surface) in the light of the rising sun (sunlight hitting the shawl is the key here, so no heavy cloud cover and no indoors. Some GM discretion may be needed.) at dawn (specific time) and left (implies that the shawl may not be disturbed or moved) in direct sunlight (again, direct sunlight must shine on the shawl) for one hour (specific duration).
So, there is some wiggle room, but RAI is definitely that the shawl should be placed stationary and spread out, that the sun should be shining from a relatively clear sky and that you can't move the shawl while it is charging. Hope it helps.
That's brilliant thanks.
The bit I was wondering most about was whether the shawl could be fooled when necessary.
E.g. I am 5 levels deep in a dungeon, no direct sunlight available, but I know it's now dawn - could I use sunlight effects if I had enough to last the required hour to fool the shawl that it's under the rising sun :) and recharge it that way.
I suspect not, but was just curious was all.
As a GM, I am of course making plans to catch the players out with how fast shadows move in that first hour of rising sun :P