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You can keep your tired, old, Vs. arguments. This is the fight that really matters. The Vs. match to end all Vs. matches! This is where we separate the mallards from the bonobos!
Howard the Duck is a duck! He's trapped in a world he never made! He smokes cigars and wears a little fedora!
Detective Chimp is a detective and a chimp! He likes to get drunk! He smokes cigarettes and wears a deerstalker!
That's all you need to know! Will it be Bedtime for Bobo or will Howard receive a butt-kicking he never asked for?! More importantly, why are you still reading this?! Go outside and get some sun! Spring is here! Go and out and meet a nice girl! Maybe build a squirrel feeder together!
Howard the Duck would kick Detective Chimp's a$$ all day long due to his mastery of Quack Fu. End of discussion...
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I don't really see this fight ending as a result of fisticuffs, but let's examine our fighters' martial capabilities for a moment.
Howard is a master of Quack Fu. That, combined with his irritability makes him more than the equal of Batman.
Detective Chimp, on the other hand, is a chimp and, therefore, what he lacks in martial ability, he makes up for in crazy chimp strength and durability. Given that and his keen intellect and strategic genius, I think we can agree that Detective Chimp would easily trounce Captain America.
Being so evenly matched, any physical contest between these two titans would likely devolve into a comical brawl pitting Howard's angst-filled rage against Bobo's poo-flinging, primal savagery, quite possibly illustrated as a small dust cloud with onomatopoeia flying out of it. Lest the cosmos itself be torn asunder, an altercation of such magnitude could only end with both parties calling a truce and settling their differences over a bottle of bourbon, a smoke and a friendly wager on heavyweight boxing. Afterall, why should these two gods wage bloody carnage on one another when they can watch a pair of dumb humans beat on each other for their amusement?
My money is on Howard's fighter coming out on top while Bobo sneaks out leaving the duck to pay the bar tab with the money he just won.
Also, Leafar, thanks for having the sense of humor to post in this obvious tongue-in-cheek response to your recent vs threads. At least, I hope you have a sense of humor and you aren't taking any of this seriously because, wow, I mean, just, wow.
I don't really see this fight ending as a result of fisticuffs, but let's examine our fighters' martial capabilities for a moment.
Howard is a master of Quack Fu. That, combined with his irritability makes him more than the equal of Batman.
Detective Chimp, on the other hand, is a chimp and, therefore, what he lacks in martial ability, he makes up for in crazy chimp strength and durability. Given that and his keen intellect and strategic genius, I think we can agree that Detective Chimp would easily trounce Captain America.
Being so evenly matched, any physical contest between these two titans would likely devolve into a comical brawl pitting Howard's angst-filled rage against Bobo's poo-flinging, primal savagery, quite possibly illustrated as a small dust cloud with onomatopoeia flying out of it. Lest the cosmos itself be torn asunder, an altercation of such magnitude could only end with both parties calling a truce and settling their differences over a bottle of bourbon, a smoke and a friendly wager on heavyweight boxing. Afterall, why should these two gods wage bloody carnage on one another when they can watch a pair of dumb humans beat on each other for their amusement?
My money is on Howard's fighter coming out on top while Bobo sneaks out leaving the duck to pay the bar tab with the money he just won.
Also, Leafar, thanks for having the sense of humor to post in this obvious tongue-in-cheek response to your recent vs threads. At least, I hope you have a sense of humor and you aren't taking any of this seriously because, wow, I mean, just, wow.
I am glad that you agree with me on Howard the Duck easily defeating Detective Chimp. However, I take this very seriously...
Umm with the chimp hanging out in the house of mysteries with a ton of the mystical community my odds are on him breaking out with a mystical doo-dad if not outright magic to make duck a l'orange.
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Umm with the chimp hanging out in the house of mysteries with a ton of the mystical community my odds are on him breaking out with a mystical doo-dad if not outright magic to make duck a l'orange.
Howard has access to all of Doctor Strange's equipment and artifacts as he is one of Doc's chosen replacements......
I can't believe we're having a serious discussion about this... ;)
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Who let a serious discussion get in here and when did I agree with anyone about Howard defeating Bobo? All I wrote is that if the two were betting on a boxing match, it would be the duck's misfortune to owe his winnings to the bartender after the chimp sneaks off without paying his tab. That's an anti-victory in classic Howard fashion. The only winner there is life itself, proving once again Howard just can't catch a break.
At least he's got a hot girlfriend.
As both Dragonsong and Mac pointed out, both Detective Chimp and Howard have access to dimension-b##@~!++-tearing artifacts of mystical power and the knowledge of what to do with them. I, as always, remain impartial in this matter and stand by my assertion that any real fight between these two goliaths would result in the destruction of at least 17 universes and one bagel stand. Thus, a true winner would likely never be determined as everyone within the closest 17 universes and one bagel stand owner would be dead and unable to declare a victor.
Edit:
Really? They censored b+$~!&%&?
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Umm with the chimp hanging out in the house of mysteries with a ton of the mystical community my odds are on him breaking out with a mystical doo-dad if not outright magic to make duck a l'orange.Howard has access to all of Doctor Strange's equipment and artifacts as he is one of Doc's chosen replacements......
I can't believe we're having a serious discussion about this... ;)
He is??? wow I know he had a copy of Rom the Space Knights blaster at one time.
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Hmmm....this is a tough one.
Since Detective Chimp is a chimp, he can throw his poop - something that is fairly disgusting, and may give him an edge when it freaks out the opponent.
However, Howard is a duck, and everyone knows that being nibbled to death by a duck is one of the most terrifying ways to meet one's end.
However, in the end, I'll have to go with Detective Chimp as the winner, because I really never liked Howard the Duck.
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I was once nibbled to death by a duck. It was possibly the most adorable end I've ever met.
Aberzombie, I find your argument that Detective Chimp would win this match based solely on your dislike for Howard the Duck to be difficult to refute. Obviously, you've done some research on this matter and, for that, I salute you. Bravo!
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I was once nibbled to death by a duck. It was possibly the most adorable end I've ever met.
Aberzombie, I find your argument that Detective Chimp would win this match based solely on your dislike for Howard the Duck to be difficult to refute. Obviously, you've done some research on this matter and, for that, I salute you. Bravo!
Well, that and it's pretty obvious that the DC characters are far superior to Marvel characters. As proof, I offer this rock that looks like Batman beating the crap out of Captain America, Thor, and Ironman.
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Thanks for the rock! I'll just put it over here on this shelf next to my potato chip shaped liked the Virgin Mary that kind of looks like Moon Knight sambooing Deadpool through a coffee table.
I've also got a petrified elephant hide that seems to show Superman turning the Hulk inside out, if you're interested.
An interesting question...
Let's see, the chimp wears a deerstalker in tradinional Holmesian fashion, but the duck, ah, the duck has a fedora doesn't he? That is a gumshoe hat, Sam Marlowe style. But the duck wears a suit instead of the traditional trenchcoat, that breaks the style, doesn't it? If he had a trenchcoat he would win no doubt (trenchcoats give +20 badass bonus to all rolls, true story). And the chimp wears that cape, I don't know it's name, but is the kind of cape Holmes used, so he has the entire ensemble. I'm sorry Howard fans, but Chimp wins.
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You bring up a valid point, VM. Bobo's traditional attire does evoke Sherlock Holmes and he does cut a fine figure in such apparel. However, we must keep in mind Howard is not a detective or even a private investigator. He's just an average duck dressed in a manner befitting a middle-aged male of Duckworld at the time of his forceful extraction from that universe. In a our own world, a fedora, jacket and tie were once considered quite in vogue and to this day many men sport the look. To further legitimize the badassness of Howard's ensemble, I would like to submit the following image into evidence. Now, it seems a declaration of victory based on fashion would be a matter of personal taste and I won't argue your predilection toward the classic finery of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's most famous creation. However, methinks you are selling the mallard short when you state his outfit is incomplete.
Also, Aberzombie, while we are on the topic of anomalies seemingly depicting famous funny book characters, I understand there is a section of the Bayeux Tapestry, which clearly depicts Groo the Wanderer slicing Wolverine in twain. I can only surmise this battle took place during one of the X-Men's many migraine-inducing time travel arcs.
Ohh and just to clarify the Librarian of the Unseen University in Terry Pratchett's Discworld books would handily defeat both of them.
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Also, Aberzombie, while we are on the topic of anomalies seemingly depicting famous funny book characters, I understand there is a section of the Bayeux Tapestry, which clearly depicts Groo the Wanderer slicing Wolverine in twain. I can only surmise this battle took place during one of the X-Men's many migraine-inducing time travel arcs.
Yes, although there is some controversy among paleoscientologists that the section in question actually might depict Daken, also known as Dark Wolverine, aka some lame character that Quesada probably thought would be cool.
Ohh and just to clarify the Librarian of the Unseen University in Terry Pratchett's Discworld books would handily defeat both of them.
The Monkey?
Oh shi-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAA
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Given that whole Dark Avengers hullabaloo featuring Daken in Wolverine's garb, that may very well be true and perfectly within the realm of possibility. Of course, certain existentialist philosophers along with their absurdist contemporaries have questioned the veracity of Daken's existence at all or, in the case of the absurdists, postulated his creation was inevitable as a sign that the Marvel universe had not yet reached its quota of insufferable D-Bags or titles featuring the aforementioned D-bags, as is the case for Deadpool.
Of course, I don't need to remind you the Wolverine depicted in the Bayeux Tapestry could very well have been Albert.
We are all forgetting not only does Howard have access to mystical doodads...he also has the Iron Duck armor...a hi-tech power suit that rvals Iron Man's...or atleast equal as Tony Stark built it I think...
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The Iron Duck armor hasn't been forgotten, John. It just wasn't mentioned because it's irrelevant. Power Armor will prove of little use against Detective Chimp's ability to communicate with all forms of animal life. I don't think I need to remind anyone here of Squirrel Girl v. Dr. Doom. Were Bobo to use a similar tactic, I'm afraid we'd still have a stalemate.
The Iron Duck armor hasn't been forgotten, John. It just wasn't mentioned because it's irrelevant. Power Armor will prove of little use against Detective Chimp's ability to communicate with all forms of animal life. I don't think I need to remind anyone here of Squirrel Girl v. Dr. Doom. Were Bobo to use a similar tactic, I'm afraid we'd still have a stalemate.
Ah...I did not know Detective Chimp had that power...mmmm...I think this example is like two unstoppable forces colliding...
The Howard the Duck movie. Dayum, that's just evil. Why would anyone do that to anything else? I don't think either of them is evil enough to use that. Lex Luthor isn't evil enough to do that. Mephisto isn't evil enough to do that. Quesada... probably is.
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Detective Chimp shows Howard his own miserable bomb of a movie, kicks the duck while he is reeling in horror, and wins.
It'll take more than a bad movie that keep the duck grounded.
In Howard's defense, I liked the movie.
Greg