Goblins Wreck Kingmaker (Inactive)

Game Master Whack-a-Rogue

Rugnut lets out a mighty hoot as the creature falls. WE DA BEST AND RUGNUT BESTEST, NOT KNOWINGS TRIBE BEATS ALL THE RESTEST!" He continues carrying on as Breakfast circles the body, sniffing at it. Eventually he dismounts and slugs Scrabble on the shoulder congratulatorily. "Good ridings, blowear very scary."

Mogawg does his best to help Dys in harvesting something from the earblow.
Heal to aid Dys in harvesting owlbear: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (9) + 2 = 11

Once they're done, Mogawg points in the direction they had been traveling. "Okay, let's keep going. Need to find that piggie."

The little goblin walks among the others, pathetically and awkwardly holding the sack with his injured bird-lizard.
Do any uns gots healings?

"Only one good one," Mogawg replies to Ser Helmut. "For the bird-lizard?" he asks.

Life sphere Cure: 1d8 + 2 ⇒ (3) + 2 = 5

"There!"

Ser Helmut grins.
Mees be tinking dat he bees better! Tanks!

Going to need a Wand of Infernal Healing soon...lol.

Chompy looks at this wounds and simply goes about licking them.

You follow the stream west until it dwindles to a small creek.

Breakfast's Observations
A small creek running through the lush underbrush rides down from the tallest hills in the surrounding land until it descends into a pond at the bottom of a tiny waterfall. Small deep green lily pads with tiny frogs inhabit the water, floating around beautiful white lilies. There is a rainbow of small singing birds that mimic a microcosm of the forest around it. Glittery smooth stone rocks make this clear pond a lovely place to sit and listen to the tweeting.

Everyone Else's Observations
Dere be froggies here! And tweet tweet birdies! And rocks for sitting and throwing!
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Not knowing the ways of things, Rugnut attempts to throw a frog.

Scrabbler ran and cannonballed into the water, delighting in the startled chirps and squawks of the birds.

knowledge nature: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (15) + 7 = 22

Knowledge Nature: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (11) + 6 = 17

Chompy moves up a bit and sniffs about on all fours. Soon he finds a cave and lifts his muzzle and ushers the others forwards carefully. "Nice, Large Den. Probably Boar." he said nodding.

Ser Helmut speaks a short string of weird sounding words. A quick flash surrounds him (Mage Armor).

Wees finds da piggies house!

"Ooh! We use this then? It like what Scrabbles has. I think it a boar trap." Rugnut pulls a rusty bear trap out of his pack and tosses it to the ground.

"Issa Owbear trap! Works good for piggies too. And Godbugs. And longshanks. Everything, really."

Gobbo Initiative: 6d20 + 22 ⇒ (9, 11, 20, 16, 2, 18) + 22 = 98 (avg 16ish)
Piggie Initiative: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (18) + 2 = 20

Chompy and Helmut's diagnosis is revealed to be accurate mere seconds later as a BIG PIGGIE charges out of the cave. Normally, you'd probably find it to be enormous and terrifying, but you've already killed a GodBug and a LAWROBE, so this thing isn't actually a particularly big deal. It's pretty speedy, though.
Piggie Target!: 1d7 ⇒ 6 (Scrabble)
Piggie Charge!: 1d20 + 6 + 2 ⇒ (13) + 6 + 2 = 21 Damage: 1d8 + 6 ⇒ (8) + 6 = 14

Tuskgutter
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Your turns

Roll With It, Acrobatics DC 19: 1d20 + 14 ⇒ (15) + 14 = 29

Scrabbler went flying.

Somehow he'd managed to plant a foot on the piggie's snout and ride the momentum of it's charge. He rolled three times when he hit the ground, coming to his feet and shaking his head to clear the dizziness.

"Bad piggie!" he shouted, then charged back in.

I'm staggered this round, but I didn't get tossed more than 20 feet so I can do a partial charge.

Scrabbler dove beneath the pig's lunging tusks and came up right in it's face again.

Acro to avoid AoO: 1d20 + 14 ⇒ (10) + 14 = 24

Charge!: 1d20 + 7 + 2 ⇒ (17) + 7 + 2 = 26
Damage, whetstone: 1d4 - 2 + 1 + 1 ⇒ (4) - 2 + 1 + 1 = 4

Climb vs. pig CMD: 1d20 + 15 ⇒ (4) + 15 = 19 Hmm. Might not be riding the piggie this round.

Rugnut begins yelling inspirationally. "BACON BACON BACON BACON BACON, BACON BACON BACON BACON BACON!"

+1/+1 hit/damage bla bla bla

Breakfast roars and charges forward. Rugnut attempts to aid his attack once he gets close.

aid: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (4) + 5 = 9
charge damage/bite: 1d20 + 6 + 2 ⇒ (17) + 6 + 2 = 251d8 + 2 ⇒ (4) + 2 = 6

Charge!!!: 1d20 + 5 + 1 + 2 ⇒ (3) + 5 + 1 + 2 = 11

Damage if hit: 1d4 ⇒ 1

Chompy charges in on Tuskgutter's backside while Scrabbles catches the beast's attention fully!

Dys cannot help but be carried along by the shouting and the tumbling and the general mayhem. "PIGGIE! PEW! PEWGGIE!" she screams, jumping up and down as she sights along the boomstick.

Attack, inspire bacon, against flatfooted AC: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (2) + 8 = 10 damage: 1d12 + 1 ⇒ (12) + 1 = 13

Ser Helmut slaps Breakfast as the dinosaur charges passed.
Augment +2 Str for 1 round.

Go gitt'n Breakfast!

The little goblin then moves 30' closer to Breakfast.

That's a badass boar, by the way!

Mogawg moves up behind Chompy and casts another shapeshift on him to grow a horn from his forehead again.

"Yeeeeeesssss, Mogawg make you mighty!!!"

The piggie looks none too happy to have Scrabble riding on its back - or to be shot in the face by Dys, for that matter. It charges forward with blinding speed!
Trample: 1d8 + 6 ⇒ (3) + 6 = 9 (Reflex DC 15 halves)
Targeting Rugnut/Dys/Breakfast

Rugnut and Breakfast both attempt to dodge. Remember, +1 to saves from the song!
Rugnut reflex: 1d20 + 4 + 1 ⇒ (17) + 4 + 1 = 22
Breakfast reflex: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (7) + 6 = 13

Rugnut continues his inspirational screaming. "BACON BACON BACON BACON BACON, BACON BACON HAM!. +1 to attack, damage, saves!

Then the pair charge the boar again!
Rugnut attack/damage: 1d20 + 5 + 1 + 2 ⇒ (9) + 5 + 1 + 2 = 171d6 + 2 + 1 ⇒ (6) + 2 + 1 = 9
Breakfast attack/damage: 1d20 + 5 + 1 + 2 ⇒ (8) + 5 + 1 + 2 = 161d8 + 2 + 1 ⇒ (4) + 2 + 1 = 7

Don't forget Breakfast +2 Str this round.

Don't forget Breakfast +2 Str this round.

It's in there, that's the +1. He doesn't get the basic performance because he doesn't understand goblin yet.

Ahh, gotcha!

Reflex save, bacon song: 1d20 + 8 + 1 ⇒ (7) + 8 + 1 = 16

Yikes! Dis piggie fast! Dys dives out of the way, but not fast enough, as a rear hoof clips her in the shoulder. That will be a huge bruise and no mistake!

The bacon song has lost its novelty, so Dys is no longer jumping up and down as she gets up, shakes herself and sights down the boomstick again. Maybe not jumping will help with aiming!

Attack, bacon song: 1d20 + 7 + 1 ⇒ (17) + 7 + 1 = 25 Damage: 1d12 + 1 ⇒ (6) + 1 = 7

Mogawg's scrunched up face shows he is continuing to concentrate on the shapeshift which has given Chompy his magnificent horn.

Scrabble flaps up and down like a screaming goblin banner as the pig charges. Somehow he manages to hold onto a tuft of hair and not go flying. As the pig skids to a halt leaving hoofprints on gobbos and dinos behind it, Scrabbler scrabbled into position and dragged his blade across the massive boar's eyes. The cuts were superficial, but the blood clouded the eyes enough to be a nuisance.

Mark Target (touch attack), inspired, foolhardy: 1d20 + 7 + 2 + 1 ⇒ (10) + 7 + 2 + 1 = 20

If successful, piggie is Battered (-2 to CMD, and cannot make AoOs vs Combat maneuvers). I don't think the Pig has any means of removing the condition, so this is probably permanent for the fight.

Then, Scrabbler crawled on the Piggie's back until it couldn't see Scrabbler well. Then the real stabbing started.

Acro vs Boar CMD to avoid AoOs (to move into Flanking position): 1d20 + 14 ⇒ (7) + 14 = 21 Uh oh. Hope that's good enough. Maybe with the Battered penalty I'll be ok.

Attack, inspired, flanking, foolhardy, power attack: 1d20 + 7 + 2 + 2 + 1 - 1 ⇒ (8) + 7 + 2 + 2 + 1 - 1 = 19
Damage, inspired, power attack, sneak attack, fatal thrust: 1d4 - 2 + 1 + 2 + 2 + 1d6 + 1d6 ⇒ (1) - 2 + 1 + 2 + 2 + (2) + (3) = 9

Still riding piggie. AC is back to 20

Emboldened by Rugnut's magnificent (if not repetitive) singing, you absolutely pulverize the piggie. The fact that its head remains mostly intact is more a feat of dumb luck, as it's unlikely that you remembered much about your epic mission other than "kill pig get shinies eat cheese."

Harvesting (DC 15)
Tuskgutter's Tusk x2 (function as M Terbutjes)

Ser Helmut claps loudly.
Wees does its! Now Wees needed ta bring head back ta our longshanks. Git rewards!

I'll Take 10 on Survival to Harvest.

Scrabbler rode the pig into the dirt, then stood tall on it and took a self-amused bow.

When he hopped down he slits it's throat to make sure the job was fully done. Then he started carving out it's massive tusks.

Chompy goes to join in on the harvesting and attempts to bring about the caravan to bring all the nonsense they got home. (The carapace of godbug sleds they had been dragging.)

He tilts his head a bit and begins taking large hungs of the meat as it's cut off and draping it over the goods they are bringing home. There will be quite a bit of jerky for them...provided they don't just eat and eat and eat.

Our hero, the young Tyrannosaurus, lets out a triumphant bellow as the large boar falls lifeless into the dirt. His rider hops down and begins to swarm around the corpse with the other tiny green apes, and Breakfast trods off to circle the perimeter of the clearing. He marks his new territory with musky urine as he goes round to ward off any potential rivals. Once he is satisfied with his handiwork, he returns to the clearing to find the tiny lizard has laid out a substantial buffet of meat strips. Not one to reject a freely offered meal, Breakfast begins to methodically gobble down the stringy bits of meat as he works his way down the buffet line.

Seeing the dinosaur start eating Choppy's buffet first, Ser Helmut and Billy Bob Thornton also get in line.

Chompy squeaks and begins waving around the butchering knife "NO NO NO! Bad Goblins! Bad Chickens! FOOD FOR ROAD, will cook in minute for now!!!" he said angrily.

Intimidate check in case it matters: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (13) + 5 = 18 Eh, that's fairly intimidating I think for a knife wielding angry baby dragon.

Ser Helmut and Billy Bob Thornton slowly back away (each still chewing).

Startled by the kobold's sudden display of rage, Breakfast drops the slice of flank that he was chewing on and retreats to behind a bush. From there he eyes the kobold warily.

Rugnut retrieves his boar trap after helping the other goblins chop the boar into many bacons, continuing to mumble his amazing new hit song to himself.

Seeing the giant lizard's example, Scrabbler also marked his territory with musky urine.

Dys hovers near Chompy, in case the dragon finds any of her metal rocks inside the piggie. Metal rocks are hard to find, so the ones Dys has are very precious.

Mogawg relaxes in the back while his servants prepare jerky, recover their ammunition, etc. When they seem to have completed their work, he gets up and announces, "Okay, time to go back to tribe home!"

2d100 ⇒ (24, 86) = 110

As you follow the stream through the forest, you attract the attention of several squirrels. They follow you, chattering in a taunting manner and occasionally throw acorns at you from the branches above you. While you may be inclined to climb up and chastise them for their ill-mannered behavior, the trees in this area bear 6-12in long nettles growing out of their trunks to a height of approximately ten feet.
Know:nature lets you know that nettles don't normally grow in this manner

Knowledge nature: 1d20 ⇒ 14

Knowledge (nature): 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (13) + 7 = 20

Des be weird trees!

The little goblin grabs some leaves off the ground. He pastes them on top of his head, using mud as an adhesive.

Rugnut ties his magnet to a piece of twine and tries to fish for squirrels with it, to determine if they are magnetic.

"Huh. Tree spikes. BUT DIS IS NOT HELPING US IN ANY WAY!"

Dys does her best to herd everyone along and back on track to return to the camp.

About an hour later, you come across some longshanks tracks! You must be near that longshanks camp one of your knight mentioned.

Ser Helmut lays on the muddy ground next to the tracks. The little goblin places a finger in one and he flings the mud off into the foliage.
Mees needs ta work greatest magicks. Mees be back in 15 minutes...or so. Yous gobos follows tracks and scoutest out dem stupid longshanks.

Ser Helmut trudges off.

Rugnut points at the tracks and tells Breakfast "Find the longshanks!"

Follow the tracks with Scent: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (2) + 2 = 4