In The Court of Madness

Game Master hallowsinder

The insane Count Visage with incredible powers makes his home in a micro-world. The Count has decided to throw a party for the powerful and interesting and bored. The players are invited to serve as the nights hired "entertainment."


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The cloud moves up to the wall and begins to climb it.

DM:
But but... okay.


Male Tengu (Advanced/Giant) Summoner 1

Mr. Big cast Enlarge Person on himself (he is now Mr. Huge). He will then run up to the wall... and either walk over it or a brief climb.

Either way he should be visible to all the archer types.

"Argh! Little cowardly pests! I am Mr. Big, but you can call me Death-by-Claws-and-Beak!"


M Human/Soulbound Doll Sorcerer (Arcane/Fey)

Nigel slides off his mount's arrow-studded corpse to the ground easily. Quickly and quietly he scurries off to a safe spot where he can observe the excitement.

Stealth: 1d20 + 30 ⇒ (15) + 30 = 45


Male Human Paladin (Shining Knight) L7 | AC25 (T11FF24) CMD23| hp 32/71 | Saves: F10R7W7 | Percep -1 | Init +2 | Channel 3/3 | LoHands 5/7 | Smite 3/3 | Status: Aura of Courage +4 (10ft.r. ), Haste, Prayer

Sir Rhaym looks up after the wave of arrows had passed.
Looking at the fort, he swears softly, but with feeling. A vertical climb? There was no way he was going to make that without considerable help.
He will remain mounted and in motion as he looks for an easier way in, like a drawbridge or sally port. If he can't find one on this side, he will circle around the outer walls to continue looking.
Perception: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (8) + 3 = 11
Perception: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (5) + 3 = 8
Perception: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (8) + 3 = 11
Perception: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (7) + 3 = 10


Oh? You were ok with locked doors? Well, there's a wooden gate, closed currently.

Cloud:
If you were intending to do something immediate, you may do it before he disappears. I thought you were just asking so you knew the layout of the field.


DM:
Thanks. I was planning something immediate, but it turns out I don't have anything that will go that far. Oops. :P


DM:
Init: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (3) + 8 = 11


Male Tengu (Advanced/Giant) Summoner 1

DM::
Initiative 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (7) + 3 = 10


Male Young Nagaji (Juju Zombie) Ninja Assassin (26/30 hp)

24 Stealthyness:
Initiative: 1d20 + 11 ⇒ (9) + 11 = 20
Stealth: 1d20 + 19 - 5 ⇒ (10) + 19 - 5 = 24

Nianju picks out the man who ordered the attack upon Bertie, and starts sneaking--or if there is not enough cover on top of the wall, shimmying--along the wall towards him.

How far away is Nianju from the guy without the bow? I'm assuming there's noone more obviously in charge?


Baddy Initiative:

archers: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (4) + 2 = 6
Super secretman: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (7) + 6 = 13
Other: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (11) + 1 = 12

Turn order:
Sir Rhaym
Nianju
Super Secretman
Other
Cloud
Big
Archers


Male Human Paladin (Shining Knight) L7 | AC25 (T11FF24) CMD23| hp 32/71 | Saves: F10R7W7 | Percep -1 | Init +2 | Channel 3/3 | LoHands 5/7 | Smite 3/3 | Status: Aura of Courage +4 (10ft.r. ), Haste, Prayer

Seeing the others flying or climbing the wall, Sir Rhaym bites down on a curse. His chance of getting past the wall was vanishingly small without someone throwing him a knotted rope or opening the gate for him.
He urges Valinor to charge up to the gate. If he was very lucky, someone would have forgotten to bar it. But just in case it was, he looked around for something, anything that could be used as a ram as well.
Perception: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (13) + 3 = 16


No readily available ram material, unless you count yourself.

Baddie Rolls:
1d20 + 4 ⇒ (14) + 4 = 181d20 + 4 ⇒ (17) + 4 = 211d20 + 4 ⇒ (6) + 4 = 101d20 + 4 ⇒ (1) + 4 = 51d20 + 4 ⇒ (20) + 4 = 241d20 + 4 ⇒ (15) + 4 = 191d20 + 4 ⇒ (16) + 4 = 201d20 + 4 ⇒ (1) + 4 = 51d20 + 4 ⇒ (9) + 4 = 131d20 + 4 ⇒ (10) + 4 = 141d20 + 4 ⇒ (6) + 4 = 101d20 + 4 ⇒ (18) + 4 = 221d20 + 4 ⇒ (14) + 4 = 181d20 + 4 ⇒ (9) + 4 = 131d20 + 4 ⇒ (15) + 4 = 19

1d20 + 18 ⇒ (15) + 18 = 33

One of the soldiers yells, "Look out, Sir!" pointing at Nianju, and the crested helmeted man draws his shield and whips around, readying his guard.


Is that all the baddies, or do we need to wait for more?


Male Young Nagaji (Juju Zombie) Ninja Assassin (26/30 hp)

Hmm, if this is the first round of combat and I act before them, shouldn't they be flat-footed? Or did they get a chance to see me before this round started? I'll post separate actions for either case.

If crested helmet man is flatfooted:
Despite his precarious position Nianju decides to take advantage of the distraction Mr. Big is creating, and try and pick the leader off. He swiftly draws his readied hand crossbow, and takes aim at the seeming leader, steadying himself and firing.

Crossbow: 1d20 + 9 ⇒ (9) + 9 = 18
Damage: 1d3 + 2d6 ⇒ (2) + (6, 6) = 14

If already spotted:
Nianju glares at the soldier that calls out to his target, the distraction of Mr. Big bearing down on them apparently not sufficient to hide his presence. Though he is doubtful of the soldiers ability to actually hurt him he nevertheless quickly slides back over the wall, shimmying down it a few feet, before starting to climb around, aiming to resurface closer to a roof reachable from the wall, or on the other side of something that will give him some cover to approach.

Climb: 1d20 + 12 ⇒ (14) + 12 = 26


Male Tengu (Advanced/Giant) Summoner 1

Mr. Big closes on the nearest archer (base to base) and attacks. (note this should put in in a threatening position of a large number of archers due to his huge size and reach).

Bite 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (14) + 7 = 21 for 1d4 + 7 ⇒ (1) + 7 = 8 damage.

"Rargh! This is for what you have done to Little Bird!"

DM:
Mr. Big is currently AC 24, 22 normally, +4 from Shield Spell, -2 from Enlarge (size & Dex).


Nianju:
Ah, I had forgotten about that. Regardless, your attack would not his flat-foot AC.

Your acrobatics check? It is a twenty foot fall, and enlarged, you cannot fit on the stairways down.


Male Tengu (Advanced/Giant) Summoner 1

DM:
I'm assuming the acrobatics is for Mr. Big.

Acrobatics 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (3) + 2 = 5
Doh!


Falling Damage: 1d6 ⇒ 3


Male Young Nagaji (Juju Zombie) Ninja Assassin (26/30 hp)

GM:
No problem :) Didn't think it would with that roll. So Nianju is still on top of the wall then. Let's see how many arrows he can absorb :p


DM:
Is crested-helmet-guy still there?


Male Tengu (Advanced/Giant) Summoner 1

As Mr. Big stands, towering over the wee little archers.

"So your master has left you all alone to feel my wrath, so you need to ask yourselves... do I feel lucky? Well do you? You do? Then this is your most lucky day, for I have here Doctor Izzard's Marvelous Ointment guarenteed to cure anything from stomach flu to near fatal injuries! It also polishes metal to an incredible shiny, useful for all sorts of things that drill sergeants always seem to pick up on."

DM:
Of course the first that raises his bow will generate an attack of opportunity from Mr. Big.
AoO Claw 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (9) + 7 = 16 for 1d6 + 8 ⇒ (6) + 8 = 14


Cloud:
Yes. He's standing about 10 feet away (though off to the side a bit too) from Mr. Big.


The cloud moves along the wall to the point that's closest to the helmeted man, and begins trying to get his attention.

"Hey! You!" "Hey you!" "You over there, with the helmet!" "We need to talk to you!" ("We do?" "Yes! He'll know where Opiguy is!" "Oh! Do you really think so?" "Just be quiet and watch!" "Fine, fine...")

"Hey! Where's Opiguy??"

The cloud waits expectantly for an answer.

DM:
Ready an action to use a wand if he tries to run or take any offensive* action.

* That is, any action which offends me. :P


Turn finished. Back to the top of the order. Rhaym and Nianju go.

Cloud:
Hehee.. Nice. However, you must specify which wand you will be using.


DM:
Drench.


Male Young Nagaji (Juju Zombie) Ninja Assassin (26/30 hp)

Nianju turns as he hears Niulamayu's 'voice' trying to reason with his target. He lays low atop the wall, the expected volley of arrows having failed to materialize, considering.

"That right. Have important information Ophooshis need know. Not care if have kill you first to give it him" Nianju calls in his broken common over the din of Mr. Big's threats. It's worth a try at least, trying this 'diplomatically', though it's not normally his first approach.

Stealth: 1d20 + 19 ⇒ (5) + 19 = 24
Bluff: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (20) + 8 = 28

Hahah!


:P


Male Human Paladin (Shining Knight) L7 | AC25 (T11FF24) CMD23| hp 32/71 | Saves: F10R7W7 | Percep -1 | Init +2 | Channel 3/3 | LoHands 5/7 | Smite 3/3 | Status: Aura of Courage +4 (10ft.r. ), Haste, Prayer

Sir Rhaym rides up to the gate and tries to open it.
If it's locked or barred, he will fast dismount, back Valinor up to it and have him try to break it with kicks.
Kick to break: 1d20 + 3 + 4 ⇒ (12) + 3 + 4 = 19
Kick to break: 1d20 + 3 + 4 ⇒ (3) + 3 + 4 = 10
Kick to break: 1d20 + 3 + 4 ⇒ (6) + 3 + 4 = 13
Kick to break: 1d20 + 3 + 4 ⇒ (7) + 3 + 4 = 14
Kick to break: 1d20 + 3 + 4 ⇒ (19) + 3 + 4 = 26
Kick to break: 1d20 + 3 + 4 ⇒ (18) + 3 + 4 = 25
This may take a while.
Sir Rhaym keeps a sharp eye out for people dropping masonry or boiling oil on them. If that happens, he'll fastmount and ride away fast.


"Ophi.... wha, oh.."

"If you wanted to schedule a meeting with Ophichuus, there are more diplomatic ways to go about it than ignoring our warning message! We'll take you into custody and THEN hear what's so important!"

I'm ruling your successful bluff has convinced him that you have important information, and so he will try to take you alive. Convincing him to surrender would be more under the preview of Intimidate, and convincing them to hold a meeting would be under Diplomacy. However, next party member to hold such attempt shall receive a +2 situation modifier.

"First two ranks.. SWORDS!" The commander gives an order to his men.

But now it is Cloud and Big turn, I believe?


A number of exaggerated sighs come from the direction of the cloud. "There are more diplomatic ways to greet travelers than shooting arrows at them, too!" "That there are!" "Well said." "You're such an excellent speaker."

"He talks too much." "And still insists on being ornery!" <sighs> "Look, anyone who doesn't want to get hurt..." "Just drop your weapons." "You don't want to get hurt, do you?" "Of course they don't." "Who would want to get hurt?" "See? My point exactly!" "Just drop your weapons and we'll let you take us to see Opiguy." "Ophi." "No, it's Ophichus!" "Owhatever!" "Drop your weapons!"

Intimidate: 1d20 + 6 + 2 ⇒ (19) + 6 + 2 = 27
Heehee.


Oooooh... Good roll.. Bad taunting..

Just Me:
1d20 ⇒ 141d20 ⇒ 51d20 ⇒ 11


Well, it wasn't exactly taunting... just... speaking reasonably! I mean, you didn't place bad guys who really do want to get hurt, did you?!


Actually, it was who you taunted.

"No, this is what would happen if I shot arrows at you, instead of firing an arrow in front of you with a warning note."

An arrow passes straight through the center of the cloud, which then explodes in a deafening bang.

Make a DC 25 fort save of be deafened for an hour, Niulamayu.

"You guys want to talk to Ophiuchus? You can talk to me. I am Sagittarius, one of his Knights."

A figure stands on one of the parapets across the courtyard, a dark green mottled cloak covers much of his figure, with an eyepiece over his right eye that glows blue sticking out, he holds his bow low after firing, to keep it from sight.


Hmm... I didn't intend any of it to come off as taunting.

DM:

You know I need a 20 to make that, right? :(
Fort: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (19) + 2 = 21
OH, OF COURSE. *shakes fist at the dice*

Can I read lips?

DM (Edit):
Is that a spell or effect that targets a specific number of creatures?


Niulamayu:
If it was, do you think it is one that a CR 4 creature would be able to do at DC 25? It's a DC 15 AoE for +10 DC to it. :P


DM:
Okay... so the thunder arrow should have to hit me first, no?


Niulamayu:
Or, if the archer is feeling smart, he'll aim for your square which has AC 5 and hit you with the AoE.


DM:
But but... he's a bad guy! Bad guys aren't smart!

Do I still have my action, or did the intimidate attempt use that?


Hmm... Intimidate attempts are.. move actions I think?


Standard to demoralize... just wasn't sure if that's what that counted as.


Male Tengu (Advanced/Giant) Summoner 1

"He shot Cloudy! Blood and Feathers Time!"

The nearest three get attacked.

Claw 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (11) + 7 = 18 for 1d6 + 8 ⇒ (5) + 8 = 13
Claw 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (14) + 7 = 21 for 1d6 + 8 ⇒ (4) + 8 = 12
Bite 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (13) + 7 = 20 for 1d6 + 8 ⇒ (4) + 8 = 12


Three soldiers fall beneath the assault, but the rest form up and ... Be distracting.

Aid Another Checks: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (7) + 4 = 111d20 + 4 ⇒ (6) + 4 = 101d20 + 4 ⇒ (9) + 4 = 131d20 + 4 ⇒ (4) + 4 = 81d20 + 4 ⇒ (11) + 4 = 151d20 + 4 ⇒ (12) + 4 = 161d20 + 4 ⇒ (7) + 4 = 11

Then the Captain takes his readied action.

Attack: 1d20 + 18 ⇒ (19) + 18 = 37
Confirm: 1d20 + 18 ⇒ (14) + 18 = 32

Damage: 2d8 + 16 ⇒ (4, 6) + 16 = 26


Who's he attacking? Also... didn't he already shoot at me this round?


Male Tengu (Advanced/Giant) Summoner 1

I'm assuming the attack is on Mr. Big since he is in the courtyard.

Mr. Big does a AoO on the first one that generates from moving into attack position (15' reach).
Claw 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (14) + 7 = 21 for 1d6 + 8 ⇒ (5) + 8 = 13

Mr. Big then falls beneath the Captain's blade. Blood and feathers fly everywhere.

DM:
If I did the damage right, that puts Mr. Big at -16hp. Roll to Stabilize 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (12) + 6 = 18 vs DC 26. Oops, That isn't enough. Mr. Big will bleed next round.

Holy smokes, the Captain does 1d8+8pts of dmg in a hit? Mr. Big would probably have gone down with a regular hit (since he only had 10hp remaining).


Mr.Big:
He was power attacking because he knew his troops were aiding his to hit. He's got BaB+4, which means that's +4 right there. +1 weapon and +3 strength mod.

Another soldier falls under Mr. Big's attack, but he is nonetheless felled.

The archer of on top of parapetness, aka, the Knight Sagittarius, is not the Captain of this base, who was the guy leading the archers in the field.

Floaty cloud, seeing your intimidate had little effect despite good rolls (applying shaken to a bad guy for a couple of rounds is not very effective versus so many bad guys..). I'm gonna rule you just delayed your turn. You're now at the top of the initiative order of the next turn. Unless you still want to intimidate a random soldier.


Male Young Nagaji (Juju Zombie) Ninja Assassin (26/30 hp)

32 Stealthyness & Niulamayu:
Stealth: 1d20 + 19 ⇒ (13) + 19 = 32
Perception: 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (9) + 10 = 19

Nianju lays low and peers more closely at Sagittarius, recognizing the name from their earlier conversation with Seth. He was one of Ophiuchus's zodiac creations, the archer... "Want me to go try to knock him out?" he asks the cloud which just got shot through with a rocket, but appears unharmed.


DM/Nianju:
The cloud looks blankly at Nianju for a few seconds, but since it doesn't have a face, there's absolutely no indication of the blank look it gives him.

Perception? to read lips: 1d20 + 9 ⇒ (10) + 9 = 19
DM, your call as to whether that works or not. I'll hold off on responding to Nianju until I know. Also your call on whether the -4 from deafened applies.

DM Only:
UMD: 1d20 + 16 ⇒ (17) + 16 = 33

The cloud levels a wand of grease at the ground under the captain (and three squares around him, on this side) and a thick layer of greasy... grease... spreads quickly under his feet. Should catch some of the soldiers too. Reflex DC 11 to not fall prone immediately, as well as other penalties.


Niulamayu:
Do wands bypass verbal components? If not, you have 20% spell fail chance from deafness. Also, I'll rule you can get it, as you're pretty close, I think?


DM:
Using a wand requires no spell components, but does require a word to be spoken... your call if those are the same thing. If the wand-holder is concerned about his/her ability to say the word, may I change my action instead?

A cacophony of voices suddenly erupts from the cloud. The majority of them seem to be completely clueless, but a few act as if they're answering a question. "THAT WOULD BE GOOD!" "WHAT?" "YOU SHOULD DO THAT." "I CAN'T HEAR YOU!" "INDEED WE CANNOT!" "ME EITHER!" "DO IT!" "IT'S VERY QUIET ALL OF A SUDDEN!" "CAN'T EVEN HEAR OURSELVES TALK!" "OH THE HORROR!" "THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN SAYING!" "I KNOW, COULDN'T'VE SAID IT BETTER MYSELF!" "I COULDN'T HEAR YOU SAY IT!"

DM:
I realize they can't hear... let me know if you'd like an explanation of what's going on here.


Niulamayu:
Hmm.. If it's only a word.. Uhm.. Halved failure chance? 10%? And yes, you'd know about this, so your choice what to do with your action still.

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