" The people you killed were the first adventurers that came here, I enslaved them and I will do the same with you if you do not agree to get the key for me."
"There is no need to indimidate, Quazakatarza. We have no wish to become enslaved and we are very much motivated to see that everyone gets to go home! I am sure will agree to go in search of your key. However, what can be done to restore the seal that you destroyed? Without it, you may have summoned some fine adventurers, but you have also freed all of the evil monsters of the darklands to roam and come to the surface in search of food. How can we possibly restore the balance without the seal?"
As soon as you return the key, I will restore the balance..I promise it.
Sense Motive:
Huh. Looks like *you're* what we came down here for. YOu mind if we talk amongst ourselves for a minute?
assuming he lets us chat . . .
*whispered* This sounds like a reasonable thing--get this thing out of here, and solve our problem at teh same time? I say we give it a go.
Salfon holds his holy symbol in a clenched fist.
"I really don't like this. We're making deals with monsters? I don't like it."
"This sounds like a good offer. Let me just confer with my companions for a moment and I will tell you our decision."
Kyren looks to the other to see if they are in agreement, hoping they will all agree quickly before the Beholder decides to change his mind.
"Well Salfon, normally I would agree. I too do not like making deals with monsters. However, this one seems very intelligent and he probably is not a monster where he comes from. I don't think we have much of a choice in this matter. Besides, once we get the key for him, we can get him out of here, the balance will be restored and then we can get out of here as well. What he is asking us to do does not seem immoral. As long as he keeps his word, we have a win, win, win situation!"
Exactly. He's offering to go away, and fix the problem we're here to fix. It's not like we're doing anything even morally questionable.
The cracking of a bone and the slurping of marrow seems to be some sign of agreement from the cats. With all the gore and mess, its a little hard to tell which cat is which.
"Fine. But I would not be surprised to see this thing stab us in the back."
"Well, my friend, I share your concern, but I think we are just going to have to accept the offer, but in the meantime, we are going to have to watch each others back!"
Turning to the beholder, Kyren addresses the one eyed monster.
"Well, Mister Quazakatarza, we are going to help you find the key. Do you have some ideas where this spider's lair may be?"
From the chronicles of the dwarves my men found out that the spider must reside in a room whose door is engraved with a symbol...but the dwarves wanted to keep that secret and didn't openly tell what is depicted. They wrote down a riddle:
What always asks "who!" but never is answered, that is awake by night but not by day.
"Oh I love riddles! That sounds like an owl to me! 'Who, who? Who cooks for you?' I would always ask the great bard owl. Now, how does that answer help us? Does it open the door to the spider's lair?"
If an owl is the answer, you should look for a door with an owl carved on it.
Quazakatarza seems to think the conversation has ended and hovers away along the northern corridor.
"Fine. But I would not be surprised to see this thing stab us in the back."
(still in a whispered conference) we'd be foolish to assume it's going to follow it's end of the bargain 100%, but right now I don't see another choice. If he's not good for his word and just leaves, then we haven't really lost anything; we can still try to figure out how to fix this imbalance. We just need to be as prepared for treachery as we can be.
*once the open discussion commences*
Yep, sure sounds like an owl to me. Makes sense that underground folk would consider that a tricky riddle, fauna up there is probably not common konwledge down here.
.
Let's get ready for poison.
"Well, my friends. There we go! We have a new mission. We must search this area to find a door with an owl upon it. If not an owl, then it may be some lady who stays up all night answering knock knock jokes to find the answer to life's persistent questions!"
"Well, my friends. There we go! We have a new mission. We must search this area to find a door with an owl upon it. If not an owl, then it may be some lady who stays up all night answering knock knock jokes to find the answer to life's persistent questions!"
Questions like "how much food can a halfling consume in one sitting and still have room for more?"
Uh, guys, before we go searching for a giant spider behind an owl door . . . I may have knocked one of the cultists unconscious in order to question him. You think we need to try to corroborate that Eye Beastie's story with him?
Questions like "how much food can a halfling consume in one sitting and still have room for more?"
Kyren laughs at the halfling jokes, but replies dryly, "Remember, the creature on the door says 'Who Who?' Not 'How much? How much?'
"Uh, guys, before we go searching for a giant spider behind an owl door . . . I may have knocked one of the cultists unconscious in order to question him. You think we need to try to corroborate that Eye Beastie's story with him?
"I have a feeling the Eye Beastie is telling the truth, but we could talk to one of the cultist too. Maybe he knows where to find some good food down here. Once we are set, I would love to return to the room with the fountain, relax and have a nice meal, just like those cats. Once I have my fill, I would then like to retire to bed. Besides, I am nearly all out of spells. So, Daggers, which one did you leave alive?"
That's him I point to the guy farthest north. He's going to have a heluva headache when he wakes up, but he'll live. Considering how fanatical these dudes were, though, I'm not sure if we'll get anything useful out of him.
I give a bit of a shudder at the cats and their gorey feast. I can't believe you can talk about food while they're . . . doing that. I mean, I'm not normally squeamish but that's just kinda gross. I'll get that live one out to teh fountain room for ya.
"He's going to have a heluva headache when he wakes up, but he'll live. Considering how fanatical these dudes were, though, I'm not sure if we'll get anything useful out of him."
"Hey, I've got an idea. Let's wake him up while you are disguised as a cultist. We are too small to try it, but you are about the right size. You can pretend that 'you guys' won the battle. He may be disoriented enough that he wouldn't know the difference. Pretend you are his friend, and see if he knows where the spider lives. What do you think?"
"I can't believe you can talk about food while they're . . . doing that. I mean, I'm not normally squeamish but that's just kinda gross. I'll get that live one out to the fountain room for ya."
"Well, I certainly prefer my food cooked! I am a restaurant connoisseur you know! Imagine what would happen to my reputation if word got out that I like to eat my meat raw! Poor Gobbletor's review wouldn't be worth a scrap!"
The cats just continue on their feast. You can almost feel the smug satisfaction they bear as they eat 'fresh rations' rather than the less palatable fare their companions are eating.
"Hey, I've got an idea. Let's wake him up while you are disguised as a cultist. We are too small to try it, but you are about the right size. You can pretend that 'you guys' won the battle. He may be disoriented enough that he wouldn't know the difference. Pretend you are his friend, and see if he knows where the spider lives. What do you think?"
"Hey that's not a bad idea. Make sure he doesn't have any weapons around him when it happens though, and let's get working quick on a disguise! Maybe we should disguise Vaughn and Saflon, so that it's a little more believable when more than one of them survived the fight!"
Disguise
Disguise
Assuming they agree, Bonzo sets about making disguises for the humans, looking to Kyren for help.
I *really* don't think that Salfon or I could fool this guy, especially not me--Im' the one who knocked him silly. And it's not like these cultists had masks. The only one who could really fool him would be Alcheringa, I think--he's the only one of us of human size that this guy didn't actually see.
.
Even so, I'm not sure it' would work anyway. If what Harry Eyeball said was true, this group of, what, a dozen guys have been down here for a while now. If there had been a few dozen, maybe--but there's no way a stranger is ogin to pass himself off as one of htis small group.
I start going over the bodies for the customary loot, saving the catfood for last.
"Oh Come on, Vaughn! Where is your sense of adventure? Let me guess. You never dressed up in costumes as a kid. Well it is time to learn! Besides, there is no harm in trying. All you have to do is say something like, 'Quazakatarza has just brought me here and wants me to feed the spider. Do you know where he is kept?' or you could try the owl approach. Say something like this. 'I love doors, especially ones with pictures of birds on them. Have you seen any doors with owls on them lately?" Come on! The cultist probably got a giant womp on the head anyway. He is going to have trouble remembering his right from his left! All you have to do is put on the costume and pretend you are a cultist! If you are willing, I will even lay hands on you and bestow upon you my touch of destiny!
Kyren tries to be as persuasive as possible.
Diplomacy
Somehow I don't consider this little show an "adventure." But, I'll play along, what the hell. If you think *I* could fool him, though, I don't know why *you* don't just do it--you've got a slicker tongue than I have anway, you little rogue.
Bonzo yells at the top of his lungs, excitement overcoming every other cognitive function in his body. "Kyren, you could stand on my SHOULDERS and we'll look EXACTLY LIKE A HUMAN, as long as we wear one of those robes. They'll never know!" He grins ear to ear, waiting politely for his friends' response.
Listening to the discourse while gnawing leisurely on the kill, it seems that the cats are starting to get a bit agitated...their tails flick with sharp purpose and their ears begin to twitch with a bit of caution and aggression.
With little warning they spring to their feet and start looking at the unconscious man causing such a fuss. One of the cats turns back to the kill and with tooth and claw prises off the head, holding the bloodied melon in its jaws... the head bears gory remnants hanging from it like a madmans Pinata, and the cats pad over toward the comatose cultist and drop the head beside him.
It seems that they intend to wake the man up, but its highly doubtful it will be a gentle awakening... one cat looks to his leg, one looks to an arm.
One of their tongues hangs loose, as though he is about to be licked in the face.
The unconscious cultist moans and starts to scramble weakly, to get on his belly...
If you want to try your masquerade skills, you should act fast now...
"Bonzo, you are brilliant! Yes, yes, this will work! Here Daggers, help us get ready."
Kyren takes one of the cloaks from the cultist and any jewelry worn and any other such items worn and puts them on for his disguise. Next, climbing upon the shoulders of his friend Bonzo he prepares for his little ruse. "Are you ok down there?" He does his best to cover his face with the hood.
Kyren draws upon moments before he goes out to talk with the cultist.
"Blaze, Alchy, Vaughn, I am going to need the three of you to help me out in case things start to go sour. Ok? Now how do we look?"
Disguise
Kyren, riding on the shoulders of Bonzo in disguise approaches the unconscious cultist and says to him, "Wake up! Praise the name of Lord Quazakatarza! The great eye has come and led us to victory against the defiled! Stand up! Get up now and join us in our glorious victory!"
"I think perhaps it is time to release the spider! Do you recall the rune protected door created by the followers of Torag? You must help me release the creature within! Can you tell me where it is?"
Bluff
Confused the man touches the large bruise on his forehead and flinches because of the pain
Yeah, praise Quazakatarza....what, what happened to the intruders? The spider? You mean the one in the chamber of WHOAOAOAOA!!!!!!
The man nearly doubles over as he notices the bloody head next to him. Panicked he crawls away staring at the bloody mess.
Bonzo yells at the top of his lungs, excitement overcoming every other cognitive function in his body. "Kyren, you could stand on my SHOULDERS and we'll look EXACTLY LIKE A HUMAN, as long as we wear one of those robes. They'll never know!" He grins ear to ear, waiting politely for his friends' response.
I'm both amused and disturbed at the surreal scene playing out--the semi-concious zealot trying to crawl away from teh bloody head dropped by the nearby predators, as the halfling-on-a-halfling try to dupe him into telling us where the giant spider is lving so we can secure the magic key to send the horrible monster home and stop the other horrible monsters from attacking our city . . . I don't know why this sh*t suprises me anymore.
Strange days indeed. Most peculiar, momma--WHOA!!
In any case, I'm ready to stabbity the cultists if he makes any kind of violent/surprise action, but I'm staying behind the corner hidden, watching serruptitiously.
Bonzo does his best to help Kyren with the disguise.
Bonzo scoots himself and Kyren over to the severed head and kicks it away from the frightened cultist, leaving it up to Kyren to comfort the poor, shocked man.
"Wait, wait! Come back here. We may have had a few losses, but we are still victorious against the defiled ones!" Kyren urges Bonzo forward trying to steer him after the cultist. "I knew the dwarves spoke of a creature on the door that asks who, but did you say that the spider was located in the chamber of WHOAOAOAOA? Where exactly is that?"
Further Diplomacy attempt
The cats move to flank the man, as he moves they move... almost as if stalking a mouse. His slackness in answering the Halflings questions seems to be agitating them...
The cultist regains some of his composure and answers
Voron is that you? You seem to have receive a hard blow to your hip? You umm look "unstable" - in the middle I mean...? Whatever, can't you remember where we found the chamber with the owl door, why is that so important now? It's right next to where the rails end, about an hour or two from here - hey, did you already strip the attackers? Any valuables? Have you seen me? How I smashed this dagger weilding idiot? Ha! Hey umm, what's the deal with those cats? Didn't they belong to the attackers? Wow, did you charm them?
"Voron is that you? You seem to have receive a hard blow to your hip? You umm look "unstable" - in the middle I mean...?"
"Ah yes, its me, but I do feel a bit unstable. I think one of those damn defiled creatures scored a bad blow to my hip, but in time I think I can simply walk it off. Nothing to worry about."
"Can't you remember where we found the chamber with the owl door, why is that so important now? It's right next to where the rails end, about an hour or two from here"
Oh yah, now I remember. You see, Quazakatarza ordered me to go there and release the creature, but I didn't want to appear stupid in front of him. Now that he is gone, can you tell me which direction we have to go again? It has been so long since I was there."
" Hey, did you already strip the attackers? Any valuables?
"No, Quazakatarza forbid it. I believe he took all of their valuables. He must be building up some big treasure hoard somewhere."
"Have you seen me? How I smashed this dagger weilding idiot? "[/b]
"Yah! You were totally awesome! That idiot only killed half a dozen of us before we took him down! Quazakatarza will be proud of you!"
"Hey umm, what's the deal with those cats? Didn't they belong to the attackers? Wow, did you charm them?"
"Once again, that was the work of the great Quazakatarza! I think he has decided to make them his pets. They are much cuter when they are on our side!"
Right on call, the cats settle at Kyrens feet, as though under his command.
Oh yeah, we should praise Quazakatarza until our knees are bruised and bloody. Help me up Voron, then I'll describe you the way.
Acrobatics
Kyren's acrobatics:
UP ya go, buddy! Now, how do I get to that spider again?
After helping the cultist to his feet. Kyren guides Bonzo along behind him, awaiting the cultist's answer.
Phew! That was close!
The cats plod along, playing their part in the deception...
The cultist gets up and waits for a moment until his sense of balance returns
Ok, I'll explain the way to you...you go out here, follow the corridor southwards, then, past the troglodyte cave and around the armory into the large hall, then...
he continues to describe the way and you're pretty sure you know the how to get to the place he has in mind.
"Ok, I'll explain the way to you...you go out here, follow the corridor southwards, then, past the troglodyte cave and around the armory into the large hall, then...
Hey, That's great! I cannot thank you enough! Hey, I've been meaning to ask you, what is your favorite meal down here?"
W...what? Favorite meal? Umm I...I think bread?!
The cultist looks dumfounded and but puts forth a chunk of bread he had in his robes.
"No thank you! I think I will be ok!"
Hmm, if this guy's favorite meal is bread, then I think this guy seems to have served his purpose.
"Hey, I dare you to go pull on that cat's tail. Wouldn't that be fun?!"
You notice how invisible question marks dance around his head, yet he shrugs and walks over to Alcheringa...
I'm barely able to control sniggers and giggles as Kyren totally takes this dude.
And the *dagger guy* was the idiot!?!? I can't wait to see how this last little bit plays out!!
The cats watch the man approach, the look is one of mild bewlderment, as though wondering why the mouse is walking towards them...
Not daring to pull the cat's tail, yet still being curious how Quazakatarza was able to command the animals he gives the (alcheringa) cat a pat on the head.
Dumb animals are no match for Quazakatarza's arcane powers, mhhh Voron?