Seuss Nation - Alternate rules for... well alternate gaming


Homebrew and House Rules

The Exchange RPG Superstar 2010 Top 16, Contributor

Come one come all, come here and see
A stranger location you will never see
Do not worry about cost, looking is free
It's the home of the cat and the hat you will see.

In a faraway land of Seuss Nation
The land has creatures of every station
All creatures of Seuss Nation are eager to please
Even the tiniest bat gnats and tree fleas
Even creatures gigantic, enormous, humongous
Yes even the eight armed galloping gazungus

When you walk in Seuss Nation it's quite hard to be down
The meanest mindflayers must try hard to frown
Beholders, basilisks, and barghests all benign
On days one, two, three, four, five all through nine

The physics in Seuss Nation are not quite right
When you walk on a hill it is quite a site
Instead of walking up straight and tall
You walk at an angle it looks like you would fall

Repeat a few phrases, a little alliteration
These are the keys to great deeds in Seuss Nation
Some things that you try they seem quite absurd
But these things are easy if you just rhyme a word

It sounds impossible how do you adjudicate?
Just relax, unwind and mentally lubricate.

Seuss Nation
The great mage "Dr. Seuss" created Seuss Nation in his home plane of Mundania. It's existed for generations in the hearts and minds of children and adults alike. Eventually, unable to come to fruition in Dr. Seuss's home world, Seuss Nation sprouted into existence in a remote region of the prime material plane.

On an ordinary day, in an otherwise un-notable corner of the world it sort of drifted in.
First to discover this wondrous land
was a warlike tribe, a great orc war-band
This new state of being was quite the shock,
The orcs woke early and quickly took stock.
Their hair, their horrible hair had all fled,
Instead on their head was a small tuft of red
Normally yellow and brown from abuse
Their skin was now a shade of CHARTREUSE.
After a little confusion and a little despair
(some orcs are quite keen on their hair)
A minute of mayhem but not very long
then the orc tribe all broke out into song.

Everything in Seuss Nation changed that day
the most vicious of ogres became quite gay.
The fish from the lakes now walk on the land
the lion and lamb now walk hand in hand.

Seuss Nation Terrain
The landscape of Seuss Nation appears to be drawn out of crayon. Generally limited to 3 or four distinct colors which change in various sub regions. Residents of also take on a a distinct duo-tone look, with skin one color and a small tuft of bright colored hair on their heads. Trees are widely spaced and very simple with tufts of colored substance at the end of long bare branches.

Except as noted below treat the Terrain in Seuss Nation as Sparse Forest with no underbrush.

Movement and Getting Lost
The lack of underbrush or other obstructions means that cross country movement is relatively easy. Travel in Seuss Nation is unhindered and roads are rare. The lack of roads, relative lack of landmarks, and uniformity of terrain makes navigation exceptionally difficult. The survival check made to avoid getting lost is 25.

The rule of rhyme
While in Seuss Nation any skill check, saving throw, or attack can be affected by saying a small poem about what you are doing out loud using the following guidelines:

Repetition: +2 (max +2 per line)
Alliteration: +4 (Each)
2 line rhyming poem: +5
each additional line: +2

These poems can allow characters to perform stupendous deeds of ridiculous scale. These are unnamed bonuses that are cumulative.

Here are some examples of the rule in action:

I jump, I jump that fence (+2 for repetition)
I jump, I jump with joy (+2 for repetition, +4 for alliteration) + 6 total

A longer sample:
I jump up high into the air
I leap a log, I fly with flair (+8 Alliteration, +2 repetition, +5 two line Poem)
I fly up high into the air (+2 for extra line)
I jump that chasm over there (+2 for extra line) +19 Total

There is no quality test, the rules are applied equally for bad or horrid poetry (because it's quite clear no good poetry will result from this effort).

Oooblek (Cr 3)
Oobleck is the stuff we'll try
to make come falling from the sky
Won't look like rain, Won't look like snow
Won't look like fog, that's all we know

Ooblek is nasty stuff, it falls from the sky like rain but it is composed of globs of green goo. An Obleck shower lasts 2d6 rounds. Each round spent in an Ooblek shower creatures in the area effect must make a DC 15 Reflex save to avoid becoming entangled. Entangled creatures must make a DC 20 strength check or escape artist check to escape the goo. Creatures which are not entangled can move at 1/2 their normal speed. Ooblek on the ground becomes harmless after the Ooblek shower ends but any character who is entangled remains so until they can make their escape artist or strength check.

The Happiness Field
The entire region is covered in a field of ridiculousness and joy, this is a mind altering enchantment over the entire region. This happiness field makes it difficult to be evil or commit acts of violence in Seuss Nation. A character must make a will save (DC 15) in order to commit an act of violence that is not in direct self defense. Even after making a successful will save any attack which attempts to inflict lethal damage is made at -2 to hit. Attacks that do non-lethal damage are not affected.

At the end of each 24 hour period spent in Seuss Nation any creature that has committed an evil act within the region during the previous 24 hours must make a Will Save (DC 10) or feel great remorse at their crime and will attempt to make amends to the best of their ability. Treat this as a Lesser Geas however there is no limit on number of HD affected.

Any evil creature that spends 1 week within the region must make a DC 10 Will save to avoid repenting and having their alignment permanently changed to Good (The alignment does not shift with regards to Law/ Chaos). Only a wish or a miracle can restore former alignment, and the affected individual does not make any attempt to return to the former alignment. (In fact, he views the prospect with horror and avoids it in any way possible.) Further the creature will resist any attempt to be removed from the Seuss Nation.

Truffula Trees
Truffula trees are particularly easy to harvest and the colorful foliage is used in the production of thneeds... everyone needs a thneed. Raw truffula foliage from one tree is worth 10 GP. Truffula trees grow very slowly and the orc raiders have to go deeper and deeper into the Seuss Nation to find this valuable plant.

Resist Happiness
Enchantment
Level: Cleric 1, Wizard 1
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Personal
Target: You
Saving Throw: Will Negates
Duration: 24 Hours
Used by the local orc tribes so they can raid the Seuss Nation without fear of becoming permanently lost to it's effects. The spell hardens the spirit of the subject, during the duration of this spell the target of thespell gains a +5 morale bonus to any saving throw versus mind altering effects that induce happiness.

Sample Encounter Table:
[code]d20 Creature EL
1-5 Brown Bar-ba-loots 5
6-10 Happy Orcs 3
11-12 Happy Ogre(s) 3-5
13-15 Outside Orc Raiders 3-5
16 Talking/ Walking Fish 1
17 Cat in the Hat n/a
18 Insane Wizard Varies
19 NPC Party Varies
20 Elephant In a Tree 3[/code]

  • Brown Bar-ba-loots - (Use the stat block for Brown Bears). These creatures are friendly and plan under the truffula trees eating truffula fruit. They are hunted by the Orc Raiders for their valuable Bar-ba-loot Suits (worth 50GP).
  • Happy Orcs - A standard orc war-band with green skin and a small tuft of odd colored hair (usually blue or red). Happy orcs live peacefully by gathering fruits and nuts. They are often attacked by the outside orcs and will generally flee.
  • Happy Ogres - 1d3 ogres with blue or green skin and an odd tuft of red blue or purple hair. These ogres are friendly and often quite helpful though not too bright. Orc Raiders avoid the Happy Ogres because they will defend themselves and rarely have any treasure.
  • Orc Raiders - A typical Orc Warband sized appropriately for the character level. These raiders live near the fringes of the Seuss Nation and raid the area for valuable goods such as the foliage of the truffula tree, or the barbaloot suits.
  • Talking/ Walking Fish - As the entry says, a very annoying talking/ walking fish that won't leave you alone and nags you all day long in rhyme.
  • Cat in the Hat - This creature is raw chaos and brings along a nasty bag of tricks. It destroys everything it goes near, spoiling food and and trashing the parties encampment. Then it returns with an odd machine that restores everything to it's previous state.
  • Insane Wizard - This rambling wizard wanders the Seuss Nation. He is utterly lost and completely and utterly insane. At one point in time he was an insane evil wizard but the happiness field tripped him completely over the deep end. Unfortunately he is also completely delusional and now strikes out at any group of non-residents with his dangerous arsenol of spells.
  • NPC Party - Up to the DM, this party should be comparable level to the PCs and should be completely lost.
  • Elephant In a Tree - As the entry states... the elephant is setting on an egg which will hatch in 2d6 days.

    Touchstones and Rules
    That's the entry in all it's glory,
    Detailed description and history

    Nasty Ooblek meets touchstone three
    Touchstone four makes all giddy
    Ugly Orc spell, touchstone five
    staying evil helps them thrive

    My post is now done, please forgive me
    for terrible taste and pis$ poor poetry

    Drunk GM contest:
    This was my entry for the drunk GMs contest a few years ago on WotC's forum (well before GleeMax and 4th edition). I've reposted it here so I can link it and archive it because... well it's awesome. Plus it won't fit in my profile anymore.

  • The Exchange RPG Superstar 2010 Top 16, Contributor

    "Touchstones" referred to in the end were requirements of the contest.

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