prashant panavalli |
A bit unimpressed with this adventure so far, especially the naming conventions- seems very early Gygaxian, the same with some of the language. I think it needs another edit. The continuity from the previous adventures seem rather tenuous and some of the plotline is haphazard and hard to follow (mind, this is just an initial impression, might change my mind on a more thorough read).
Louis Agresta Contributor |
A bit unimpressed with this adventure so far, especially the naming conventions- seems very early Gygaxian, the same with some of the language. I think it needs another edit. The continuity from the previous adventures seem rather tenuous and some of the plotline is haphazard and hard to follow (mind, this is just an initial impression, might change my mind on a more thorough read).
Hey prashant! I do hope you change your mind as you read farther, as we've introduced a few innovative mechanics I think are fun. IM (biased) O, of course.
Something you should know: the adventure was specifically requested to be a break from the primary story of the adventure path. So you are absolutely spot on that its loosely connected to the one before and, consequently, more stand-alone. That's as requested.
Looking forward to more of your insights (especially in regard to the climactic mega-battle) when you finish reading!
- Lou
The Jade |
A bit unimpressed with this adventure so far, especially the naming conventions- seems very early Gygaxian, the same with some of the language. I think it needs another edit. The continuity from the previous adventures seem rather tenuous and some of the plotline is haphazard and hard to follow (mind, this is just an initial impression, might change my mind on a more thorough read).
Hi Prashant.
The names and story outline were mine, just so you'll know where to chuck dem tomatahs. ;) In the Great City setting, I chose a naming convention that hovered somewhere between American Colonial and Herman Melville. It's quite consistent, but hey, if the name Gygax gets brought up, no problem there! I adore Gary. Speaking of which, I can't believe the only two times I went to Gen Con, thus far, I got to meet both Gary and Dave during their last attendances. I only met them because I went, I only went because I joined the Werecabbage writing group, and that only happened because a rather good adventuring idea of mine got noticed on the Paizo forums. Paizo = fulfillment. Well didn't we always suspect that? However, I never would have seen that order of events coming.
By the time you finish the adventure, you'll reach other tie-ins to the rest of the arc, but if they're not strong enough for your campaign, just let me know and I'll write up and customize a few extra bridges for you. No worries, and a sincere thank you for taking the time to comment!
prashant panavalli |
Thank you both for responding. I am still in the process of reading through the adventure. My biggest issue so far is the writing. It seems to be overly verbose and convoluted. I am quoting something below from the adventure. Feel free to remove it if you believe it to be in violation of copyright.
I understand the point of what is written above; however it can be written more clearly and cleanly. The sentence structures appear very awkward in places and has a lot of unnecessary adverbs and verbiage.
Louis Agresta Contributor |
Thank you both for responding. I am still in the process of reading through the adventure. My biggest issue so far is the writing. It seems to be overly verbose and convoluted. I am quoting something below from the adventure. Feel free to remove it if you believe it to be in violation of copyright.
** spoiler omitted **
I understand the point of what is written above; however it can be written more clearly and cleanly. The sentence structures appear very awkward in places and has a lot of unnecessary adverbs and verbiage.
Hey Prashant,
I hear you. The piece could have used an editor like James or Wes. Hell, who couldn't use an editor like that?
There are two other things of which you should be aware: 1) in the handouts, Bizby is sometimes given the wrong last name (Auderumf), from a previous version; and 2) diagram #1 (the swinging chain pattern) is incorrect.
0onegames will be issuing corrections, if they haven't already.
Looking forward to hearing what you think when you've finished reading it!
The Jade |
Staff Reviewer at DriveThruRPG.com and two time Iron GM Nathan Collins gives Puncture the Blackened Vein a 4 of 5 star review.
"Making an exciting political adventure requires a writer who can carefully weave layers of plot while not neglecting the combat and challenges a PC expects. These layers of plot must be sparse enough so never to railroad the PCs and just dense enough to insure that a proper direction is always visible. The Road to Revolution: Puncture the Blackened Vein, is a text-book example of maintaining an exciting adventure sandwiched with delicious layers of intrigue and mystery. Though it sometimes exceeds its ceiling of plot digestion, Blackened Vein always maintains a solid structure to engage the players.
Road to Revolution is a six-part urban adventure series based on the Great City, the home campaign world of t 0Ones Publishing Company. Puncture of the Blackened Vein is the fourth installment and revolves around a grand plot by a secretly wicked church to convert the Temple Ward of the city to their deity. To do so, they plan a devastating catastrophe topped off by a miraculous event to catapult their church into limelight. While they manipulate another deity’s followers they themselves are being manipulated as well by an even darker god. The players are injected into the thick of this plot after being sent to find an accountant. The adventure takes them to the streets of the Great City, to a grand parade and into the underground sewers as they pursue this lead.
This adventure felt the least campaign specific of the series, making it far easier to take out of the Great City and into your home campaign. The constant DM sidebars prove to be quite helpful in facilitating the adventure and remembering the various factions and how they play a part in the adventure. Blackened Vein weighs in at 70 pages and is written for a balanced party of 8th to 10th level. Most of this is the adventure with the last dozen pages dedicated to explaining the gods of the Great City.
For the Dungeon Master
This is a well plotted adventure. Often times, mystery and political intrigue can come at a party like a hammer to a nail with little finesse. Blackened Vein starts off small and gradually ups the ante of the adventure, never loosing the players.
The Iron Word
Road to Revolution: Puncture of the Blackened Vein has a fairly complicated plot and is not for PCs who lack the concentration of paying attention to plot threads. That is not to say that players can get lost, but there is the chance of players missing a small clue here and there. The adventure runs very easily and the writers have loaded some very simple boxes to keep the DM on point. This is one of those adventures that the PCs will feel like they truly accomplished something when it is completed.
Rating: [4 of 5 Stars!]"
The Jade |
Count Cain, thank you kindly for that sterling review! I'm so glad Puncture spoke to you. Lou was in charge of oversight and creating the storyline's big picture for The Bloody Fix, however when I mused at crazy ideas like, "Why cant the BBEG be X?" Lou said quite seriously, "Why not? Great idea" and then went and fully statted X in a way that blew minds. No idea is too big or too small for him.
I devised most of the storyline for Puncture, and I wanted it to play out like a twisted Tom Clancy novel. I went for BIG. An adventure that despite its level (8th to 10th) would be epic enough to make players feel worthy if they ended their PCs' careers with it. The great Tim Hitchcock, our project developer, worried that it was so intense that if the adventures to follow in our arc weren't equally big, the dynamic flow would be thrown off. But with Tim penning The Usurpers, the adventure after mine, and Liz Courts and Brendan Victorson bringing it home with The Sundered Legion, I wouldn't worry about shock and awe in the finale. ;)
I sent Mario a sketch of every map and every picture in Puncture, the cover included. Eric Lofgren did such an amazing job based off my original cover sketch that I must tell anyone thinking of using him that he is one of those artists who truly excels at understanding everything implied in a rough work and knows just how to bring it to the fore, adding all the majesty I could only hint at poorly. I'm having the full cover (sans trade dress) blown up into a poster for framing. Not because I wrote the adventure, but because I drew the picture that inspired the cover. It's a new feeling, and a good one. That's the first thing I look at and the only thing that really jazzes me when something I worked on gets published... artists' interpretations of my ideas.
Stereofm |
Something you should know: the adventure was specifically requested to be a break from the primary story of the adventure path. So you are absolutely spot on that its loosely connected to the one before and, consequently, more stand-alone. That's as requested.
- Lou
You're doing modules on request ? I was not aware of that.
The Jade |
Louis Agresta wrote:You're doing modules on request ? I was not aware of that.
Something you should know: the adventure was specifically requested to be a break from the primary story of the adventure path. So you are absolutely spot on that its loosely connected to the one before and, consequently, more stand-alone. That's as requested.
- Lou
He meant, requested by our project developer, Stereofm. Our interpretation of how far off that path to take it was our own, of course, but we were trying to create a "breather," if you can call it that, in arc's middle.
Stereofm |
He meant, requested by our project developer, Stereofm. Our interpretation of how far off that path to take it was our own, of course, but we were trying to create a "breather," if you can call it that, in arc's middle.
Ah, my bad.
I have been planning to read the series during my soon upcoming holidays. I think I will enjoy it a lot.
Thanks !
Louis Agresta Contributor |
The Jade wrote:He meant, requested by our project developer, Stereofm. Our interpretation of how far off that path to take it was our own, of course, but we were trying to create a "breather," if you can call it that, in arc's middle.
Ah, my bad.
I have been planning to read the series during my soon upcoming holidays. I think I will enjoy it a lot.
Thanks !
Rone beat me to it, but that was exactly what I meant. Project lead and publisher specifically requested we make Punctured less connected to the arc.
As for custom adventures, if you're looking for one, maybe we should talk? ;)
On a serious note, please let us know what you think of the series. Hope you enjoy your holiday!
Count Cain - thanks for the review, my man. I'm blushing! Though I reiterate, Rone was the creative lead on this one. As you may have read elsewhere on Paizo, he's all about BIG. :)
Endzeitgeist |
Conclusion:
Editing and formatting are very good, while there are some glitches, they didn't not impede my ability to run the adventure and stay out of the crunch-information. Layout adheres to the classic b/w-two-column standard and the original pieces of B/w-artworks rock. The pdf comes with extensive bookmarks and the handouts are available in b/w and full color and amount to a whopping 7 pages. The cartography, as we've come to expect from 0onegames, is top-notch. Let me come out and say it: As far as investigations go, this adventure is simple, especially when compared with other installments of the Road to Revolution. However, that's the point! This whole adventure is a tour-de-force, a rollercoaster-ride of awesome encounters brimming with iconicity and excitement, offering a neck-breaking pace of extremely smart battles, environments and ideas. The plot to be uncovered is complex and megalomaniacal, but its execution is smart and makes it potentially work.
The opposition is no bunch of cackling fools and makes use of their powerful spells and abilities in the smartest way conceivable. While the basic narrative structure of the adventure remains linear, its plethora of fail-safes by the foes, alternate strategies and wide array of potential climaxes and aftermaths ensure that the DM does not have to railroad his players. Then there's the finale. I've rarely, if ever, read or DMed such an AWESOME climax. Epic in location, fighting, strategies, the finale puts almost all movies I've seen to shame. Lou Agresta and Rone Barton have created an adventure that is distinctly different from their last contribution to the Road to Revolution arc and while I adore the former, this adventure is completely different in tone, pacing and design, being very easily transplanted to any other big city with ethnic tensions and some temples. The stellar quality of the Road to Revolution arc manages to keep its lofty perch, resulting in another adventure that would deserve 6 stars, could I rate it that high. My final verdict thus will be 5 stars and the Endzeitgeist seal of approval.
Endzeitgeist out.
(Note: I once went by the Nick Count Cain, back in the days.) Also posted my review on RPGaggression and sent it to GMS magazine. Cheers!
The Jade |
Thank you again for this lovely review.
I never played Fallout (Though I've owned New Vegas for a while now and not played it). So any similarity between the Underearth Man and the videogame is coincidental, but I'm quite curious what the two have in common. If you have the time, please enlighten me (within a spoiler tag). I may have to start playing Fallout.
Endzeitgeist |
Well, the Fallout series has a plethora of weird bunker-creatures, things went wrong etc.
Examples include: