Wow. Can't wait!
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I'm definitely interested :-) Andythecamwhore at gmail.com
Um, is there such thing as stats that are too high? Set A looks a little munchkin-y to me and I'd be happy to make my character showing with both sets of stats to make sure they aren't overpowered for the group.
Dotting for interest! I used to playrun PBP games on ENWorld pre-college and now that I've graduated I want to get back into it. I'll post my character concept soon. Roll A:
Roll B:
Given what you said, I think he'd be a great BBEG against a 3-person 3rd-level party, with just a bit of buffing up if the party reaches 4th level by then. Flaming Sphere is more deadly considering your group has a lot of caster/hybrid types (I find the damage output is minimal against fighters) and having to face a sneaky villain makes for a fun encounter. All in all, the terrain advantage should boost the encounter up by 1 APL and make for a memorable battle. Be sure to tell us how the fight goes!
He looks alright against a 3rd level party with mooks, a bit on the weak side if it's an optimized party. For 4th level I feel he'd be a pushover. He doesn't have great defenses (DR 5/good is the best thing he has going for him) and doesn't have a lot of damage output, either. For the most part, he inconveniences the PCs with his spells. What's the emphasis on Use Magic Device for? He has Skill Focus in it but doesn't seem to have any items he needs the skill for. Another feat would probably be more useful here (even Toughness). Off the top of my head, instead of defensive items (since he's going to be out of melee most of the time anyways), I'd give him a Wand of Magic Missiles (CL 5th) with 10-15 charges on it to help him pepper the PC's. How many PC's do you have and how optimized are they? I'll be able to give better advice if you give that info.
I agree with the GM guide, which has an NPC's CR as their class levels -1 (Mostly due to lack of equipment of a PC of similar level. In the AP's, a powerful NPC like this one will usually have PC-level equipment and 1 higher CR to compensate). The APL of the OP's group is 16 (Avg. level 15, +1 for having 6 or more characters) and an 'epic' encounter should be APL +3-which the villain would be with good equipment. By the numbers, that should work out well for a challenge, but as the final battle I think it's safe to bump up another CR or 2. While wizards are able to 'go nova' and seem rather godlike, the party of the OP seems competent, using good tactics to defeat the conjurer they faced before. Wizards are glass cannons and w/o mooks, so I think they need more defensive abilities to stand a chance vs. that many PC's. And while a flying, invisible spellcaster is certainly a challenge, I think it is fairly anticlimactic for the final fight for a campaign.
A 19th level character isn't much of a challenge for that many PC's, he's approximately an equal EL to them (should be a bit higher) and the economy of actions should knock him down. Instead of a high level illusion spell that could be dispelled, why not a template? Mirror Master
CR: Same as base creature +3
Dual Actions (Ex): A Mirror Master gets a second full round's worth of actions at his initiative count -10. If he has already has used his swift action for the round, he does not gain a new one. Mirror Mastery (Su): A Mirror Master can expend a number of mirror images to have one of the following effects as an immediate action:
Spell-like Abilities (Sp): At will--Quickened Mirror Image (Note that both this ability and Mirror Mastery require the Mirror Master to have a swift action available). Abilities: Dex +10, Con +10. This template should help if the PC's try to bypass his mirror images via True Seeing (you should use some description to let them know that the images are helping out the spellcaster)-ideally, the BBEG should be very hard to hit if they don't purposefully negate the mirror images (he should be getting a +8 insight bonus to AC/Saves with a full Mirror Image up). A good trick is to metagame beforehand, giving the BBEG enough magic items/high enough stats to make sure his Maximum AC is the group's strongest fighter's attack bonus (including commonly employed buffs like Haste/Heroism/etc...) +15 - making the fighter still able to hit them without help, but not easily. The Dual Actions ability will help balance out the economy of actions without making it ridiculous, giving both the BBEG/PC's time to respond to each other.
My original gaming group has been off-again/on-again for the last 9 years and as the DM I'm having trouble remembering all the NPCs! I figured if I'm having trouble, they will too so I'm trying to create a reference sheet with basic character info and such. I was wondering if anyone knew of a website that contained lots of pics, much like the avatars we have here, that I can use for such a reference sheet. It's an epic-level game (they're level 26 now, starting from level 2) so there's easily 50+ major players in the plot-some visual cues would help a lot. Thanks in advance!
Joe: Thanks for the advice, I can tell you put a lot of thought into it. It sounds like you're trying to address the root of the issue, so I'll try and explain some more about that. The player has mentioned being dissatisfied playing in combats and had asked about rules for ancestral weapons (and is considering taking an unrelated PrC to improve his combat effectiveness). I've observed his turns tend to take a relatively short amount of time, compared to spellcasters and even the monk who has more options than him. He's got a really good attack bonus, but has low strength (his current build is dual-wielding Swashbuckler 3/Fighter 3). For someone who should be good at combat (by his BAB) he isn't as efficient. As a DM I'm used to letting players build their own characters with various splatbooks, then throwing various things to help balance the party out (as multiple splatbooks can make some characters more powerful than the others) and have mentioned as much to the group. Because the player had mentioned the ancestral weapon idea, I looked into the legacy/legendary weapons rules and came up with this-which I was going to let the player take a look at before we decide to use it or not. I think the both of us like the idea of pure fighter-types having unique weapons. So, even if there could be other answers to help this player, if you have any ideas on how to make this work better/smoother/etc... I'd really appreciate it, it sounds like you have a lot of experience under your belt :-) Hand out bonus vs. Earned -> I was worried about this as well and was considering giving the PC a broken version of one of these items (like a sword hilt or similar) - he can research and find out more about the item, and if it's worth it to his PC he can search out for a blacksmith capable of helping him. This doesn't solve his current inefficiency though, which makes this situation somewhat difficult. As for Use Magic Device -> I was thinking about using CMB (minus the Size bonus/penalty) instead of UMD, though I feel investing both a feat and skill ranks helps balance these items. While I want the weapons to be capable of cool and even powerful things, I don't want them to make this PC more powerful compared to the party.
I have a player in my campaign who seems underpowered compared to the rest (everyone just hit level 7). As a way of balancing the playing field and giving his character a unique schtick, I was going to give him a special weapon. I've never been happy with the Weapons of Legacy rules or the Legendary Weapon rules in the 3.5 SRD and have attempted to brew my own rules. As an added note, I've added Use Magic Device to most non-magic user's class lists. Rogues/Bards are still probably the best at it because of their abundance of skill points. Legendary Weapon Template:
Spoiler:
Requires: True Believer feat (Book of Exalted Deeds) or Skill Focus (History) (basically, a feat is burned to use the weapon.
Attune to the Weapon: A flavor-based requirement. Weapon's History: Each weapon has 3 historic facts that can be used as story seeds by the DM. Upon completion of a seed the weapon can be upgraded by a +1 enhancement (see below). Special Property: Varies, but often a small effect on a critical with the weapon (daze, stagger, etc...). Stats:
As a 1-hour ritual, a wielder can sacrifice magic items/gold to upgrade the weapon towards this final form. The cost to do so is equal to the difference of the current magic item's bonus compared to what it's being upgraded to. (i.e.: A +1 weapon is worth 2,000 gold while a +2 weapon is worth 8,000. A character would need to sacrifice 6,000 gold worth in items to upgrade the weapon) Powers:
There are four abilities at DC 15, 25, 35, and 45. Generally the lowest effect emulates a spell around 1st-2nd level, the next 3rd-4th level, the next 5th-7th level, and the final 8th-9th level. At +10 DC the wielder may weave in a spell from the weapon as a swift action. The CL is equal to the wielder's level and the spell DC is equal to 10 + the spell level + the wielder's Cha modifier. Penalty: If the wielder fails the UMD check, the weapon has no effect and they suffer a penalty. Generally 1 ability damage per spell level of the ability (the ability affected depends on what is appropriate for the weapon, though the default is Constitution damage). Sample Weapons (story hooks aren't finished, the first weapon is what I plan on giving to my PC, he will have a Use Magic Device check of about +13): Legendary Weapon - Gabriel’s Blade
Current Form: MW Cold Iron Long Sword
Powers: Requires a Use Magic Device check (+1 bonus for the total enhancement bonus of the weapon).
Legendary Weapon - Thorn of the Fae
Powers: Requires a Use Magic Device check (with a +1 bonus for the total enhancement bonus of the weapon).
Comments/concerns/suggestions much appreciated, thanks!
Pardon Neil, I think you skipped my item near the bottom of page 20 and if you can take a look at it I'd appreciate it :-) Thanks!
The way I imagined it was using the bonus in response to something, like Fireball. The player says, "Okay, I activate my Knight's Sigil", rolls the d20, adds his character's Reflex save and then +2 from the Sigil for the total result. Rules-wise, I think that would be a complex interaction to write out properly, to avoid confusion maybe I should have gone with wordings similar to "the next save you make" some spells use. I'm glad you like the versatility of my item. I really wanted something a DM could reward the party with multiples(for saving a nobleman or winning a tournament or similar), yet each character felt like they got something they wanted.
Thanks! I meant the bonus to only last for that particular save (tried to get that across with the singular language but I was having difficulty wording it just right). Cost-wise, it's 8k to purchase (4k is for the item creation price), which was around the same amount as a Cloak of Resistance +3 IIRC. That still might be too cheap, though. Since it had an unusual requirement of Knowledge (Nobility) ranks to create, I was hoping it would be the sort of item PCs got as a gift from an NPC instead of one they would try to make themselves.
Thanks in advance! Knight's Sigil
Description A knight's sigil is a token crafted for the champion of a noble. Many of these medallions have been bestowed upon tournament fighters, leading to it’s common name, a lord’s (or lady’s) favor. Fastened by a simple chain, each medallion is emblazoned with the noble’s crest at it’s center. An inscription on it’s outer edge bears a line from a poem or a holy text, the content always describing one of the four knightly virtues: courage, justice, prudence, or temperance. Three times per day, the wearer may call upon the sigil’s magic. Depending on the virtue the medallion is aligned with, she may spend a use for the following:
Additionally, as a standard action, the wearer may spend a use of the sigil’s magic to cure herself of 1d4 points of temporary ability damage to one of her ability scores. Because all the knight's sigils share this ability, scholars suspect their creation originated when sabotage by poison was common at tournaments. Construction Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, heroism, lesser restoration, creator must have 8 ranks in Knowledge (nobility); Cost 4,000 gp
This competition's been crazy and I feel lucky to have been in such creative company. The exit poll doesn't look too good for my monster, but I guess you never know. Whatever happens, I'm really glad to have participated this year, thanks for everything guys! And good luck to you all!
Wow, what a wild ride this competition has been! Thank you to everyone who has commented, cheered, or critiqued my monsters and especially the judges. For those interested, I'll try to do my best to address the main points of this monster-hopefully it will answer your questions or be useful to those of you who compete in a future RPG Superstar. Note that this is a generalized response to some of the points that were brought up. I will try to explain my creative decisions, but I don't claim that they are necessarily right-simply what I was thinking at the time. Concept:
Creating the 'Crunch':
Originally I wanted the Loricalia to be a fairly low CR devil that could be added to encounters fairly easily-I pegged the typical Carapace Devil as CR 6 on my first draft. At any level it could be the raiment of a BBEG (lower levels it's particularly effective, while higher CR Carapace Devils would have class levels for greater support). At higher levels, they could be used in multiples to enhance normally 'minion' like creatures, making them a much tougher challenge. In 3rd edition, a BBEG faced alone or simply concentrated upon by a party would crumple unless you made them a much higher level. Even then, the economy of actions often lead to their demise. I liked that adding in a Carapace Devil to such encounter would give the villain more longevity (with a pseudo Shield Other effect it grants) and an extra combatant that would create difficult encounters without having a BBEG be a very high level. For minions, I find that at higher levels it stretches disbelief that every palace guard is a 10th level fighter (to pose a threat to level 12 PCs), but I could see evil baron's 6th level warriors clothed in Infernal Regalia being just as deadly. The reason why it synchronizes with its host mostly is due to minimizing the number of rolls made-particularly initiative and the headaches that it could create. Finding the 'Fluff':
There's been a villain tucked away in one of my folders that my PC's still have yet to meet and his armor is akin to that of a Carapace Devil. So, quite honestly, the initial concept came from a very powerful intelligent magic armor. I tried to make several changes to the Carapace Devil to emphasize the fact that it was a monster more than a magic item, but most of it ended up in the statblock, some was alluded to, and some was left on the cutting room floor for the concept stage. Ideally, I would've wanted this creature to be similar to Venom from the Spiderman series, if a comparison had to be drawn. Monster or Magic Item?:
This was a wicked surprise for me, though I should have seen it coming. I knew in previous years, the definition of a villain was very important to the judges. This question threw me off for a simple, silly reason on my part-after conceptualizing the monster and before I had written out it's description, I had statted it up! In front of me the whole time was the Carapace Devil's statblock and as I was writing, it never occurred to me it was anything but a monster.
I think my two greatest strengths as a DM and designer is my knowledge of the d20 D&D system and my ability to create and balance mechanics. While I owned several AD&D supplements, D&D 3.0 was my start to this amazing game and only a bit embarrassed to say that I was a 'munchkin' at the very beginning. Coming more quickly from a rules perspective, it made sense for me to come at a mechanics-angle first. At the same time, I should have mentally ditched the statblock near the end and see if the concept stood alone. (I also had two reviewers go over the concept, but they came from a writer's perspective or player's perspective, and I definitely will question a few DM's next time as well) While I don't think the concept is by any means perfect, I do wonder that if Clark hadn't pushed so strongly that it was a magic item if other commentators would have done the same. It was disappointing to see my monster dismissed so quickly by some, but I accept that it's simply a part of the competition. If I get in the next round or a future RPG Superstar, I know to focus more on clarity. Symbiotic Monster vs. Evil Intelligent Armor:
Mechanics-wise, here's the breakdown! What makes it a monster and not intelligent armor? From my perspective:
Unfortunately, since this round did not cover the stats of the monster, a lot of this I could only allude to. I was trying to not break the rules of the competition, but I think I didn't hint strongly enough about the mechanics behind the creature. Shortcomings:
I don't think I would submit a different monster if I had the choice to again. I'm pretty proud of the Carapace Devil, though there are of course a few things I would have done differently.
Overall I'm happy with what I turned in, I know it didn't go over as well as I would have liked to but I'm glad to have gotten some supporters and a lot of great feedback. If I somehow progress in this competition, or if you see me some other time as a designer I will put that much more effort into bringing quality to your gaming table ;-) Thanks everyone, I really appreciate this experience.
Just wanted to chime in and say that I'm still reading, still watching this thread. It's so hard to respond without wanting to say something more, so I've been keeping quiet. Everyone who's commented is much appreciated, whether defender, critic, or commentator. Whether I stay or go the next round, the silence ends on Tuesday and I'll be happy to clarify, address some of the issues and go over my monster's faults then! Hexcaliber: Someone's already said it, but you have my respect for apologizing earlier in the thread. It's so easy to say what you please because the consequences are so few on the internet. And for what it's worth, I really appreciate the support. Thanks for standing up for my monster and if I get in the next round, I hope not to disappoint =)
I found a link for this on the OOTS messageboards. Started a week ago and just finished reading everything that's been put up so far as of yesterday (going through about 10 strips at a time). I then realized that it's a weekly updated comic, ack! What I mean to say is that you're doing an awesome job, please keep it up, and my only complaint would be that I can't get enough of it ;-).
I feel a bit like a robot but I still want to say thank you everyone for your continued comments and discussion. I appreciate all the encouraging words, criticism and don't mind any of the bashing (aimed at my entry)-maybe with the exception for Clark's last sentence, that was just mean ;-) It's odd how different this round is from the first, I don't think I ever realized it as a viewer. The first round is simply a high-congrats you got in, here are some comments! This round has been much more enlightening as to what the judges and audience are looking for. Whether I make it into the next round, the next Superstar or some other D&D competition, I know I'll be a much stronger designer because of this. Thank you all for that opportunity.
I'm reduced to short sentences. Whoo, first night's over. What a crazy, crazy ride. I need to get to sleep. Good luck everyone!
Hey there Lynx. Trey runs the JJWM myspace profile and probably thinks you're crazy as he doesn't know of my gaming habits, whereas I need to actually check the Modern Epic profile more often, especially 'cause we got a show coming up this Friday at Lindberg's, whoo! That said, Paizo really needs a messaging system to go with our profiles =). It'd definitely be cool to play some Pathfinder. I'll be really busy this week but after that I'll be sure to contact you by the weekend at the very least. What kind of games do you guys run (roleplaying/combat, homebrew/modules)?
I'll echo what Nicolas said: feel free to post opinions different to the judges, but please don't turn this into a judge-bashing thread. I don't think any of them are treating any of the RPG Superstar's different than they would someone submitting stuff to them for publication. That said, thank you for the continued feedback everyone, I really appreciate it. I hope you find room in your votes for my diabolic concoction =)
Josuha, I think we need to give you the reward for the creepiest/most disgusting creature description, the mental image I have of the Astrumal is quite frightening. Besides the looks, you've got a cool, mean monster on your hands. Magnetism is an interesting ability and one that can be very potent vs. some adventurers, I imagine this creature would be the opposite of a golem-fighters would have a hard time with it, but spellcasters would probably be just fine. First impression is that I would really love to see more on this monster. Alien origins are interesting, as other folks have mentioned. It may be crazy, but I want there to be a backstory involving Astrumals having to leave their home planets due to intelligent mastermind rust monsters =). Hey, a DM can dream, can't he? Good job on your concept and good luck this round Joshua!
Hey there, great job on presenting a quite creepy image with your Prismwing Larva. It seems like a low CR challenge that's very different from your typical goblin or kobold, a really good thing IMO. At the same time, it does feel like a prelude for the true monster-you have me and all the rest of us wondering just how scary an adult version would be! As for the monster that's here, the combination of abilities is pretty solid. Ranged attack + ability to hinder a foe's movement is quite nasty, so long as the glints of their wings don't give them away. Do they have a racial penalty to Hide? That could be interesting. You've done a good job of making a fun monster, I hope you progress in future rounds so we can have a chance to see what an adult prismwing is like! Good luck Alex!
Not enough plant monsters in D&D and less intelligent ones, so kudos for that immediately. I have to admit I agree with the judge's qualms about the name of the creature-imagining 'fear monger' and then realizing it's shaped like a walking stick was an odd sensation. Naming anything-monsters, NPC's, etc... is probably the DM duty I am the worst at, so I can empathize. Past that, I really like the fact that their appetite is for the fear that they sow. Come to think of it, you call them 'sowers of fear' in the first sentence of the Powers & Abilities section, maybe that would make a good name or nickname for them. I think pinning down the intelligence score will determine how I'd use them as a DM-as I can see ritualistic murder from their minions (sort of as a weird way of expressing their fear/or the sign of an alien intelligence), but 'vandalism' and 'kidnapping' imply more of a long-term planning sort of mind. All in all, this monster has all the makings of a much despised creature (in the best possible sense) for PC's and an interesting adventure seed (pardon the pun), good luck RC, I hope you do well in the round!
This creature has several cool things going for it. The basic premise of an evil monster made of light is a classic that isn't used much in D&D (the will-o-wisp would be the only competitor, though that creature is less humanoid). I like the mini-portal ability and attacking in an odd way-intelligence drain. I think I'd like to know why it devours intelligences though there is an air of mystery to the critter that I like. The execution could use a little tightening but all in all I think you've got a nice monster concept Nick. Good luck!
I think you've got a cool concept here, Echo Drinkers certainly have a cool, unique set of powers. To make it more applicable to D&D adventure-usage, I think you'd want to focus on the ones with the "hunger for souls, attacking healthy humanoids and savagely drinking their souls dry." Now *that* sounds like a scary monster. You have a fantastic critter if you just re-flavor it a bit, soul-powered, life-draining, crafty, illusion creating critters sound just nasty. They look to have all the capacity to become hated adversaries to PC's everywhere...hey, I might just have to keep them in my D&D folder for future games =) Good luck!
What can I say, I really like brown mold and wish it were used more, and I like a good symbiotic/psionic-ish critter. Combined with the bison idea, it is kind of far out-but seriously, D&D is where Owlbears and Gray Renders and Elder Black Pudding make their homes! I have to sit and think on this one, but I do like the crazy concept. If you had the opportunity to stat the monster, I'd focus more on one of the two ideas/power sets and see where that takes you before adding on the other. The Brown Urus are like a force of nature, as an above poster mentioned, and would be really interesting to use in a game. I'd like to see a non-combat solution to them though, but maybe I just have a soft spot for bison =) Good luck Dennis!
Thank you everyone for your comments. Nicolas, Sebastien, and Hexcaliber, you all are really encouraging with your words and opinions. I really appreciate it, most especially for your thoroughness. Thanks.
I'm not super familiar with the boards and don't know how to personally contact folks, so this is for Nicolas: For Nicholas:
Hey, I just wanted to thank you for being the first non-judge to post on my critter. Waiting anxiously for a week to see the last judge's post not recommending your work is tough, and I appreciated what you said-not just for your approval so much as it was obvious you put a lot of thought into your response. I'll try to provide the same constructive criticism for you but I just wanted to give my thanks. I'm a big fan of Lovecraft and one of the problems I've always had with D&D is that chaotic outsiders (and even lawful ones) are poorly represented, as far as seriousness goes. Instead of awe-inspiring angels or fearsome demons you mostly get Jetsons-esque robots or rainbow-colored frogmen. While you didn't spell out that this is a chaotic outsider per se, it did strike me as an effective one, both visually and conceptually. That's not to say it doesn't have room to grow, as others have pointed out. Changing a few sentences (such as that it is 'rarely violent') would help for D&D purposes. It's silly to be taken points off for a phrase like that as changing the personality doesn't take anything away from the core idea of the monster. I still need to read most of the other monster entries, but I'll say that I really liked your Liesinger, bias or not. Good luck!
Thank you judges very much for your feedback! I knew I was taking a gamble with my monster and can definitely see where all the judges are coming from. I hope the voters go over it and give it a chance. Thank you again.
I have a meeting that starts as soon as the items are revealed, so I won't be able see everyone's monsters until later tonight. I took a gamble with my monster and hope it pays off (even though I think my <redacted> is one of Clark's 2 'Questionables', ack!). Can't wait to see what all monsters you geniuses have come with, good luck everyone!
This will be an interesting round for sure...whatever happens, this contest has been lots of fun already and we haven't even gotten into the second round yet. Good luck everyone!
Last post before round 2 starts up! I'm sure with most of the contestants but it's definitely a combination of nervousness and excitement. I took a gamble with my monster and I'm not sure how the judges will receive it-but I hope you all will like it! Continuing on, Jason Nelson: Thanks, that means a lot coming from you. I probably followed 08's RPG Superstar more closely than 09's and can't imagine how much harder it was-at least now everyone can look back on previous years for guesses to what the judges/public want to see. I was surprised by the amount of similar bard items as well, but I'm just glad to see the class getting some much needed lovin' =) Patrick Walsh: I was always interested in Greek mythology from a young age and I was worried about getting this item 'right'. I'm really glad to hear it resonates well with someone familiar with the stories. I hope to impress in any future rounds I can compete in! Valemorgan: Thank you. I was definitely trying to create a solid, if not flashy item when I created the muse (ironic statement, no? ^_^). Funny you should mention my campaign, I don't know where yours or my player's name ideas came from, but the ranger PC's island kingdom is named Valmorgan! It's a weird coincidence, is there a meaning behind your screen name? I know that particular player is a fan of many different languages (I definitely asked for his help in naming my monster, lol). The_Minstrel_Wyrm: Don't worry about thread-jacking, this competition is all for fun/gaming anyways =) I'll have to check out that PrC, anything related to harrowing gets an A in my book. Congrats on what sounds to be a successful LoF campaign! I just pitched the idea to a group of friends the other day when one asked me if there were any D&D adventures in the City of Brass. How has that adventure path been treating you? Eric Hindley: Thank you! I still haven't gotten around to commenting on other superstar's works, but I wanted to say that your hourglass instantly gave me some cool ideas upon reading it. Open-ended items like that really bring out the creative mind, and I'm glad I got to see your item advance! Tobias Mullen: Thanks! As i said to Eric, I'm sorry I haven't gotten to commenting on your item yet, but have already thought about using it for a particular villain in my next campaign. Thanks! Sean McGowen: *Returns the secret handshake awkwardly, singing odd intervals in between gestures* Glad to see more bard fans popping up! Your cacophonous monkey definitely has one of the coolest visuals in this competition, I'll definitely have to show my bard PC the little monkey whenever we have our reunion campaign. Good luck with round 2! Joe Wells: Bard lovers (and Missourians), unite! I noticed the Craft Wondrous Item omission immediately after turning it in, but forgot about it since. It was a copy/paste error when using the template (copied the main chunk of text and filled out the rest by memory-silly mistake on my part), though most of the other errors pointed out were truly accidental. The last mistake I think this item has is in the last line, I said "Muse of the Mantle" instead of "Mantle of the Muse". Ack! I really believe the statement "we are our own worst critics" and truly appreciate any nitpicks people have about the stuff I write. I'd like to think it makes future submissions that much stronger. Good luck in round 2, Joe!
This has been a fun round, but boy am I glad to be done with it (for now!). I tend to overwrite, cut back, rewrite/overwrite cut back and more of the same, and that last cut I had to take about 150 words out. All the contestants this year seem to be very friendly, I feel bad for not having commented on anyone else's item but I haven't had the time. I think I'll finally get around to it now that the round's up. Good luck everyone!
Thanks Gary!
Submitted 3 times, each time kicked to the front page without confirmation like everyone else. I'll check back in an hour but would appreciate a confirmation! Thanks!
Carapace Devil (Loricalia) Description: Symbiotic fiends, carapace devils—loricalia, as diabolists know them—are malleable, spider-like creatures that are sealed into a suit of hell-forged armor at the start of their existence. ‘Infernal Regalia’, the formal name of the armors that contain these lesser devils, always vary in style, each suit changing subtly over time depending on the sins of the damned soul within, though by design they all share an essential trait. Each suit’s breastplate is wrought with the visage of a terrifying fiend with a gaping maw—an embellishment that conceals the lair of the loricalia. The regalia are given to mortals whose base desires match that of the devil inside. No matter how buried the sin the fiend digs it out, amplifying every dark impulse. Cunning, patient fiends, loricalia prefer to guide mortals empathically in this way, posing as potent magic armor. They share their infernal might with such a host, often using the influx of power to distract their bearer from changes in behavior. Through this subtle influence they seek to ensure their host’s damnation. Powers and Abilities: Alone, carapace devils are poor combatants; they are too sluggish to pose much of a threat. With a host however, the symbiotic fiend’s weaknesses seldom matter. Within the armor, the fiend’s seven lesser legs clasp their host’s ribcage, firmly embedding in their bearer’s back. Through this link, the loricalia synchronizes with their host, allowing them to function as a singular entity. The devil then hides their two main, sword-like legs inside the armor’s maw, relying on the host like a knight her steed. Meanwhile, the loricalia empowers their bearer with an Infernal Aegis, sharing diabolic strength, resistances, and stamina with the mortal, as well as granting a dark boon pertaining to their deadliest sin.
Who knew Illithids could be so entertaining? =) "Hey, get your palms-er, tentacles off my brain!" For what it's worth, I pondered submitting the first year but missed the deadline mostly due to forgetfulness. Then I felt rushed and foolish with my ideas the second year and finally got the guts/remembered to submit this year! RPG Superstar looks to be a pretty successful event, and I imagine they'll keep on doing it as long as it holds that interest. Even if magic items aren't your cup of tea, IIRC it's been the qualifying round for all three years so far, so plot and plan 'til the next RPG Superstar! And welcome to the boards! (Not that I should talk, I've pretty much been a lurker here as well ;-))
*Walks to the back of the bar, punches the bearded guy wearing a hood* "He was muttering about needing someone to kill some sewer rats. I ain't no 1st level adventurer." *Steals the old guy's seat, orders a drink, and then promptly collapses* ------- Got my laptop, a notebook, scraps of paper I've written on throughout the last couple days with me. Return of the Jedi as background, Van Richten's Guide to Ravenloft (my first D&D book, though I didn't know it had anything to do with the game at first), an AD&D Monster Manual, Reverse Dungeon, and Dungeon Magazine #149 nearby as creative 'props' to get into the zone. Oh, and an empty can of coke. My way of saying that I just finished with what I think is 95% of my monster. Sent it out to an old player and a grammar snob to check up on it in the morning and then I'm sending my beast into the can. Good luck everyone, I couldn't ask for a more fun and exciting competition! Gotta get some sleep, so I'll see y'all tommor...er, later today!
Tom Phillips: Thanks! I do consider myself more of a rules-fu guy, which can make for an interesting item but this next round will be pretty challenging. Hopefully in the future I can tempt you with other bard items so you'll give the class a try ;-) It's not a class for everyone but I think most people would enjoy it for at least a little while. taig: Bards are awesome, so they get more items ;-). Thanks for your comment, I hope to not disappoint next round! Minorelementx: Ack, I definitely did not realize that. I googled both Muse of the Solemn Vessel and Mantle of the Muse as a check, but forgot to on the ability. The name must have filtered from my subconscious because I'm a huge video game nerd, though I've only played the original Castlevania on NES. After I turned in the item I did notice that the name of the ability didn't quite fit, and if I were to name it again it would be the Aria of Solitude. Thanks for both the advice and for catching this!
Hey there everyone! I'm coming down a little bit down from the cloud I was on yesterday, and having made some progress with some monsters I've given myself a lil bit of a break from wrestling with my own muse. Thanks again everyone for all your comments, I really appreciate them. I don't know if y'all are still reading but I figured it'd be polite to respond! Neil Spicer: Off-topic, but thanks very much for all the advice threads you've written! I've been following them and am trying to utilize your experience. And I'm not sure if calling my item 'sound' is a punor not, but I liked it nonetheless =). The bonus was priced as a competence bonus, though I was tempted to make it a smaller, insight bonus. Pricing was also tricky, as there was little precedent for adding what was basically a class ability onto an item. 10,000 gp was around the ballpark of other magic items I felt were similar in usefulness, though as a DM I tend to overprice rather than underprice. Eric Bailey: Thanks for your comment! Pricing was something I was worried about, and while the item would probably not be purchased by everyone I hoped to make it a tempting choice for a bard. While the name of the item sounds somewhat mythical, I don't see it as a unique item. I'd chalk it up as bards simply wanting to give cool-sounding names to their equipment ;-) PsionicFox: Great to see another bard fan around! And don't get down on yourself, everyone has their specialties and each round tests different areas. I'd like to think of myself as having a good grasp with mechanics/crunch, though this next round will be difficult for me as writing description/fluff is not a strong point-but maybe it would be for you. Most of all, I'm glad that the line about the other muses brought ideas of your own into mind. You've given me a high compliment and I really appreciate it, please do follow my work in the following rounds, I hope I won't disappoint! Lief Clennon: Congrats yourself for getting into the top 32 this year! I've only now had the time to look through everyone's items (and none yet to comment!), but I was really impressed with the imagination and evocative image yours has. I hope we both progress in the future rounds so we can show the world what we've got! Demiurge1138: Thank you very much for your comment. I'd like to think the muse is around the right ballpark as far as price goes, but I know as a DM I tend to price my items over rather than under. Thank you for your support and please keep commenting on my material in future rounds =) Dennis Baker: I think I've seen your test before, either posted on the general boards or from years previous and it's a good one. I made a trio of items before submitting into this contest and I was really worried about finding #2, a target audience. I tried to narrow down my focus more, and while I don't think every PC would want this item I'd like to think that most bards would pick up either this item or one of it's sisters. Thanks for weighing in, please continue to do so in future rounds! The_Minstrel_Wurm: I would expect nothing less from a fellow poster with the word 'Minstrel' in their name! Thank you for your support, you are definitely right on calling the other items in the set 'sisters' =) Where is this 'Harrower' class from, by the way? I imagine it's related to the Curse of the Crimson Throne campaign, but I've yet had a chance to run or play the path. How's your group been taking to it? Joel Flank: Pricing was a really difficult question as I couldn't find very many other items that added what was essentially a class feature. I think your last suggestion was the one I would go with if I submitted the item today. And funny you would like to see those 9 items, I completely coincidentally would love to write about them ;-) Andrew Black: Thanks very much, I'll need all the luck I can get! Please keep an eye out for my stuff, I'll try not to disappoint. Carl Falherty: Thanks! Out of the three items I came up with, I felt this one was the most solid. The others were wayyy too kooky in my attempts at being innovative. I'm glad something more cohesive came out of all that chaos. Chef's Slaad: Thank you. I'm really glad that the image worked, it was hard for me to describe without being confusing. Keep posting, good to hear from you! Reckless: Thanks for your comment, though I'm sorry my item didn't sing to you nor inspire you to sing ;-) Critique and nitpick away, I very much welcome it. Naming items, spells, NPCs is something I especially have difficulty with as a DM, most of the time it's a lot easier for me to come up with mechanics than flavor. James Martin: Thank you for commenting! I've got a few ideas for other items in the set, because as much love as bards don't get, poor Perform (Dance) or (Oratory) folks get even less love. Keep on stopping by in future rounds, I appreciate it. Charles Evans 25: Thank you, a highly critical post! You have quite the reputation around the Pathfinder Adventure Path board section for being an astute reader who's unafraid to voice strong opinions. I can tell that you've put much thought into your response and I appreciate it. I think I'm allowed to respond for clarity since there's no voting this round, so I'll try. -The 'Solemn Vessel' part of the name is referring to the musical voice, but I can see why that's not particularly clear. If it were in a magic item compendium, it might be more understandable if it was one of nine items under the heading 'Mantles of the Muses'.
Hope this answers your questions! Thank you once again. Benjamin Bruck: Thanks for your comment, I'm glad that this item inspires you! For what it's worth, I'm not much of a singin' bard man myself. I like the other uses of comedy, such as Perform (Comedy) or (Dance), and if I finished writing up the other sisters of this item I'd try to make each of those just as interesting. Keep on posting in future rounds, look forward to hearing from you! Whew! That took a little longer than I thought, I'll be off again to write some monsters. Keep up the comments guys, they're much appreciated!
Thank you judges and everyone who has commented so far! I'm very glad that I waited until after work ended to check on the results of the contest, because as soon as I saw my name I gave a big whoop that resounded across the building. I've wanted to participate in RPG Superstar all three years so far and this year I almost backed out again after deciding all of my ideas were foolish. I read Clark's 'Just Do It' thread the night before the 1st round's deadline ended and resolved to work on all three of my ideas, finally choosing this one. There's been a lot of great, constructive advice so far-please keep it coming! Bards are one of my favorite classes and I've really liked what Pathfinder has done to the class (Versatile Performance is pretty awesome, as are the changes made to Bardic Knowledge). And Lief Clennon, I didn't catch what they said about an item suite, but I would love to write more on the brothers and sisters of my item! The other perform subtypes don't really get much love in D&D and they really deserve some unique performance abilities. Thanks again, if you don't see me around the boards much these next few days it's because I'm merrily toiling away for Round 2!
I was just statting Link up the other day for a hypothetical "Super Smash Bros"-esque campaign =) I was using a baseline of lvl 6 for all the heroes, I did end up statting Link as a 6th level Ranger with Dex as his primary score. I could see Fighter being his main class as well, or him being multiclassed. When I go home late tonight I'll try to dig up the stats I came up with, hopefully it'll help out. I was pretty proud of the other characters though. DK as a Ape Barbarian, Kirby as a Air Mephit Paladin and Mario, a 'Dwarf' Monk 2/Sorcerer 4 with the following spells: Scorching Ray, Jump, and Enlarge (mushroom-based material components? =D)
(Responding to a few earlier posts) I'm on vacation so I don't have all my items on me, but I'm glad I didn't turn in the puzzlebox-based magic item I had (it didn't really 'work' the way I wanted it to anyways, so I think it would've been a weak choice). I think we're all a hivemind or something, as several other people mentioned their puzzlebox items...I wonder if that's the item type that Clark referred to cropping up in the contest?
Um, is it bad that out of the three items I made to turn in, one was a magical wardrobe (ala Portable Hole/Dimension Bag) of a fashion-crazed necromancer? His goal in life of course was to preserve the magic of monsters into fashionable clothing, including a Harpy Headdress, Ghoulskin Gloves, Cloak of the Basilisk, etc... Yeah, that was one of the crazies I deemed too crazy to turn in =S
Outwardly, the Muse of the Solemn Vessel is a simple, though beautiful mantle made of blue cashmere. However, adorning the inside of the mantle’s collar is the image of three silver nymphs, positioned as though they whisper secrets to the wearer. One of nine mantles of the muse, the Muse of the Solemn Vessel’s providence is that of the musical voice. Three times per day, the wearer may call upon the insight of the muses. She may gain a +5 bonus on any Perform (Sing) check; make an aid another action as a swift action; or if the wearer is a bard, she may call upon the full power of the mantle to perform the Aria of Sorrows. The Aria of Sorrows is a bardic performance that affects all allies within 30’ who are willing and able to hear the bard. All those affected are given the benefits of Sanctuary (as per the spell, with a DC of 10 + 1/2 the bard’s level + the bard’s Cha modifier). Should someone affected by the spell break it by attacking, the effect of the performance is broken for all those benefiting from it. Maintaining the Aria of Sorrows is the same as a regular bardic performance, the use of the Muse of the Mantle is only required to start it.
Requirements Bardic Performance ability, enthrall, haste; Cost 5,000 gp
I'm still unsure if the Eidolon is broken-I think the class needs reivision in it's current state, but I've been reading a lot of threads here where critics claim that the Eidolon's spell-like ability evolution was broken. According to the ability, to use a spell-like ability, the Eidolon must have Charisma equal to 10 + the spell level to cast it. Combined with the fact that it starts with 11 Cha, a Summoner needs to be using all their ability score level up's and evolution increases if they want it to use a powerful spell-like ability. Most of the spells an Eidolon could cast would have low spell DC's, etc...I was statting up a couple of sample Eidolons, including a Basilisk with Flesh to Stone 3/day and that ability would take more than 1/2 the evolution points by the time you could get it (no sooner than 12th level due to the other clause, that the spell must be 1/2 the level of the summoner). All in all, I think the SLA ability is balanced, if not a bit weak due to the low DC's. I still would like to playtest the class personally to get a better feel, but felt that this issue should be brought to attention for all those who criticized the Eidolon as overpowered for SLA's alone. (XP costs should probably be paid for the summoner, to limit problems such as Limited Wish/Wish, but that'd be my only concern).
It's working for me, thanks! (Eirip, maybe clear your cache?)
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