Simon the Small Dog!'s page

About Simon the Small Dog!

I AM SIMON. I AM A SMALL DOG. PRETTY BOY SMALL DOG. I HEAR YOU AT THE DOOR, I BARK AT THE DOOR, BECAUSE I NEED TO LET YOU KNOW THERE IS A SMALL DOG BEHIND THE DOOR. KAILIE IS STUPID AND IS NOT ALLOWED TO BE A SMALL DOG. SHE IS A LITTLE DOG. SHE IS SO STUPID. I THINK YOU SHOULD LET ME OUT, WE CAN GO ON A WALK AND FIND KITTIES AND SQUIRRELS AND OTHER DOGS THAT AREN'T KAILIE BECAUSE SHE IS SO STUPID. KAILIE BITES DIRT AND CAN'T CATCH ANTS, SHE IS SO STUPID.

BIG NOISE-STORMS ARE SCARY. BRIGHT SULFUR-SMOKE BOOM-BANGS WITH THE WHISTLES ARE SCARY. EVEN WITHOUT THE WHISTLES THEY ARE SCARY. HUMANS ARE DUMB FOR MAKING THE SCARY NOISES. SOMEONE SHOULD STOP THAT FROM BEING A THING. YOU HAVE TWO LEGS, CAN OPEN THE FRIDGE, AND YOU DON'T MAKE THE BOOM-BANGS GO AWAY WHEN IT IS DARK BUT NICE OUTSIDE. YOU ARE A FAILURE AND ALSO STUPID FOR THAT.

I AM ELEGANT PRETTY BOY WHO KNOWS THAT LIFE IS SERIOUS. LOOKING OUT WINDOWS IS SERIOUS. TEACHING KAILIE SHE IS DUMB AND LITTLE IS SERIOUS. ANNOUNCING WELCOME-BARKS TO KITTIES AND SQUIRRELS AND OTHER DOGS IS SERIOUS. EVERYONE ELSE IS SO NOT SERIOUS AND I BECOME SAD. I AM SAD NOW. I WILL GO SIT ON THE COUCH AND BE SAD UNTIL SOMEONE IS AT THE DOOR OR SERIOUS WINDOW BUSINESS OCCURS.

SIMON
N Tiny animal
Init +3; Senses low-light vision, scent; Perception +8
DEFENSE
AC 15, touch 15, flat-footed 12 (+3 Dex, +2 size)
hp 4 (1d8)
Fort +2, Ref +5, Will +1
OFFENSE
Speed 40 ft.
Melee bite +5 (1d3-1 plus attach)
Special Attacks attach
STATISTICS
Str 9, Dex 17, Con 11, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 6
Base Atk +0; CMB –3; CMD 10 (14 vs. trip)
Feats Skill Focus (Perception), Weapon FinesseB
Skills Acrobatics +3 (+11 jumping), Perception +8, Survival +1 (+5 scent tracking); Racial Modifiers +8 Acrobatics when jumping, +4 Survival when tracking by scent
SPECIAL ATTACKS
Attach (Ex) When Simon hits with a bite attack, he automatically grapples his foe, inflicting automatic bite damage each round.