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So I have a couple of friends, and together the three of us have been playing pathfinder on and off for about two years. The sessions have always been impeded because my friend's clingy girlfriend calls constantly (average once every 5 minutes: She is actually clingy to the point of it being a disease). Sometimes, he just ditches us for her.
All those problems paled in comparison to what happened next: She wanted to play!
So her boyfriend was DMing (You can't DM for your girlfriend ever)and as she started playing, the vibe was absolutely devastated. It went from three dudes telling foul jokes and being cruel/funny to two of us watching as the now censored dm coddled his girlfriend in and out of game. She knew nothing about the rules. Her barbarians rage rounds per day were never kept track of. And at one point she requested "a cute baby kitty my character can have around."
I wanted to kill myself.
Has anyone here ever had a woman or S/O in general destroy a game?
Not as often as I've had a man destroy a game.
Same here, but let's face it: That's because it's mostly dudes who play these games, lol!
I've seen a LARP come to fists when one guy found out what another guy did with his "sort of" girlfriend. I swear, that was what a Rage looks like. It took a 300 pound guy to get him off the dude.
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Your mistake was declaring your gaming group as the He-man Woman Haters Club when you had the chance
I've seen a LARP come to fists when one guy found out what another guy did with his "sort of" girlfriend. I swear, that was what a Rage looks like. It took a 300 pound guy to get him off the dude.
The drama of LARPS and gaming convention!
There was a joke among convention-participating gamers some ten years ago that if someone deliberately introduced STD to Polish rpg gamers it would spread to half the convention-going gamer population in about half a year.
You can't DM for your girlfriend ever
I more often see that it leads to arguments between GM and girl/boyfriend than to GM coddling the partner. It might be skewed by the fact that those I see in such situations are always gamers in their own right and not just those that came for session to spend time with their gaming partner.
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Sounds like your group has a problem with communication. Did you tell the boyfriend that his gf annoys you by calling? (Hint: cell phones can be switched off...) Did you tell the GM that you don´t like the way he treats his GF when GMing? If you don´t talk about that, yes, the game
will be destroyed. And by talking, I don´t mean accusing him or or her of destroying the game, rather trying to get the irritations cleared.
(IMO, foul jokes and being cruel/funny is not a sign of a good game and surely not necessary for gaming, but YMMV. If you see it as the boys evening, thats all right, but then, announce it as that.)
Stefan
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OHES NOES!! RAGE ROUNDS AREN'T BEING TRACKED?!? CUTE BABY KITTIES!?! NO MORE DICK JOKES!!!????
She is a monster and must be stopped.
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I am wondering how old the OP is? The last time I got angry with my best mate because his girlfriend was ruining everything I was 12.
Also he opened himself up to being torn a new one with his "women" ruining the game derp.
I enjoy having a mixed group it makes the game better as there is a diversity of styles.
Gender does not make a better gamer - experience and maturity does.
That said getting together for a game with just the lads or just the ladies is not a bad thing, as long as everybody in the group understands that is what you want it to be.
I would talk to your mate, tell him you thought the game was just for the guys and you would like to go back to that.
If that is not an option - then cut his girlfriend some slack. Help her become a better gamer, try not to be patronising, treat her as you would any new guy. She is probably picking up on your dislike of her and she is being clingy because the only friendly face in the room is her boyfriend.
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As above.
With one addition: She might have some friends, be nice to her, that could get good :)
As above.
With one addition: She might have some friends, be nice to her, that could get good :)
bow chicka bow wow?
As above.
With one addition: She might have some friends, be nice to her, that could get good :)
Ha I have been married so long I forgot about that aspect of having girlfriend or boyfriends playing the game.
Ha I have been married so long I forgot about that aspect of having girlfriend or boyfriends playing the game.
I still remember :)
Great days, great days...
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Has anyone here ever had a woman or S/O in general destroy a game?
The majority of female players I have played with or GMed for have been fine. Some have improved the game, by thinking outside the 'kick door, kill orc' mentality that limited most of the guys.
THat said, I'm not going to lie. I've had several players bring clingy girlfriends, who were clearly not there for the game, AT ALL.
Refusing to play when invited, refusing to even look at a pre-gen PC, refusing to be run through the rules, refusing to even suggest the kind of character or plot they might be inspired by.
Sulking at the table, with their arms folded, because their man wanted to spend time with his friends, instead of with her.
"This is stuuuuuupid!"
"This is booooooring!"
The fact that the one in your group is actually getting into aspects of the character puts her head and shoulders above the ones I had to suffer.
But even then, none of them killed the game;
we lost a few players, whose empty husks are probably staggering round a shoe shop as we speak, with their 'honeybunny's fangs embedded in their skull.
But the game went on.
I have the opposite problem. My son (18 y.o. college freshman) introduced a girlfriend to Pathfinder. Now they're not dating anymore, but she still plays. AWK-waaard! (for him, anyway... lol) Serves him right, too. My son, who is brilliant, talented, and extremely well read found her to be "an arrogant know it all". Which is the same thing people say about him.. lol
It was too bad, though. She was the first girlfriend he's ever had that liked the same things I do and was able to relate to... LOL
I one had a guy try to get his g/f into playing. She said she felt "left out" when he came to play without her, and when he invited her she said she felt like she was being forced to be there and she hated the game. She made a character, waited five minutes (after not doing *anything*) and then got up and went to another room without a word.
Thinking something was wrong the b/f left shortly thereafter.
We later found out that she got bored and went to watch TV in his room, where she begged him to stay. The game ended within two hours, but never really progressed beyond opening dialogue.
All of this after weeks of planning a special game where she would be able to bake cakes and ride unicorns to 'make the game bearable.'
I shit you not.
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Too many gamers (males mostly) aren't in mature relationships.
"Honey, I'm spending one night a week (fortnight/month) with my friends. We won't be at a dive bar or chasing strippers, we'll be playing RPGs. If you don't like RPGs, STAY HOME. Or find something else to do. If you don't like that, then don't trip on the curb on your way out of my life."
You know. Like an adult.
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I once had to play this game with members of homo sapiens, it was a horrible experience. Do not recommend.
I once had to be on the same planet with members of homo sapiens, it was a horrible experience. Do not recommend.
I have the opposite problem. My son (18 y.o. college freshman) introduced a girlfriend to Pathfinder. Now they're not dating anymore, but she still plays. AWK-waaard! (for him, anyway... lol) Serves him right, too. My son, who is brilliant, talented, and extremely well read found her to be "an arrogant know it all". Which is the same thing people say about him.. lol
It was too bad, though. She was the first girlfriend he's ever had that liked the same things I do and was able to relate to... LOL
Parent(s) accepting son's girlfriend and sharing interests with her... That must have been surprising for him, maybe even off-putting... ;)
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All of the women I've played with have fallen somewhere between "really good" and "legitimately giving the game a try." This extends from girl gamers, to sisters of fellow players, to girlfriends of fellow players, to my own girlfriend. And, by the by, DMing for SOs isn't that difficult. Just treat them like any other player. If the DM can't do that (or he/she does and the SO gets upset), then the former case means he's probably not a very good DM, and the latter case means the relationship probably wasn't the strongest thing in the world anyway.
My girlfriend has been in the games I run for months now, and she has received no special treatment (not intentionally, at least), she has not gotten upset over this lack of special treatment, and, if there is any going on, it's not enough that my other players have brought it to my attention (and believe me, they'd bring it up if I was doing that).
TL;DR Women/SOs don't ruin games, crappy players and people that don't actually want to play do.
My DM's girlfriend's character got killed from a stormbolts spell from the final enemy in the campaign. It was pretty funny.
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Paul, Ringo, and George's mistake was not declaring their rock group as the He-man Woman Haters Club when they had the chance
fify
Clint Eastwood's mistake was not declaring every frickin' movie that costarred Sondra Locke as the He-man Woman Haters Club when he had the chance
fixed it some more...
I want to add that my post above wasn't meant to say that females ruined my game. My girlfriend plays with us, and while she is far from what many would call "skilled" at the game, she enjoys it, is probably the least disruptive player, and tries the hardest to role play. She even tried to DM once (and was not bad at it, considering up until that point I had made practically ALL of her character sheets for her).
I didn't think about how what I wrote earlier might give the impression that I feel disdain for female would-be gamers. Just that particular female was a nightmare.
I have two roommates, and used to have a third. We all played, but the former roommate was a terrible participant who would fall asleep at the table and accuse me of not letting his character have any spotlight, but whenever the PCs would wander into town, the first thing he would do is have his character find an inn and crash, even at what would be noon.
Guys can be d-bags, too.
Let me start off by saying, women can be just at good at gaming as men (if not better)
BUT both of the female dnd/pathfinder players i play with on a regular basis are BOTH infuriating in their own way.
The first, played a 1 rogue/3 sorc. specializing in two-weapon fighting with whip and short sword, wearing leather armor (no arcane armor training)...and constantly complained about not ding well. This may not have been as bad if the dm did a better job (In this game, every character needed to be min-maxed to hell and back to survive even 1 encounter, while he looked down as looked down on power-gaming [2 quotes from the fist session "your fighter took wep. focus, power attack and cleave at 1st lv. Really?" "Why shouldn't my 6 orc barbarians have put 18s in their strength and taken power attack with great swords"]) Here are how her turns went Step 1, run into melee. Step 2, full attack at a +4/+4, provoking an attack of opp. Step 3, go down to below 0 hp and complain for the rest of the session about it being unfair. It was not help by the fact that she decided to play her character as a prostitute. (She's now playing a mermaid oracle with the "lame" curse, in a desert game, that i am thankfully not playing in)
The second, is is entering her 6th century, and has played dnd sense it came out. She carries separate FULL SETS of dice for every little thing (One for attack rolls and damage, one for skills, one for saves, one for her OTHER weapon, one for her horse), why would you ever need a d8 in a skill check. She can't build a character to save her life, and regardless of what class it is...it's a fighter. Right now she's playing a goblin monk with a str. 12 dex. 14 con. 14 int. 14 wis. 16 cha. (bumped at 4th )10. This game you can afford to be less optimized but... she never hits (In fact, she misses by one SO OFTEN, her name is now the official term for "missing by one"). Her turns take FOREVER, as she looks at the bored, moves, miscounts, starts over, gets the rules mixed up, declares flurry, we correct her, she argues, tell her we've had this argument at least once each session, corrects herself, looks for the correct die, rolls die, looks over her entire character sheet for her bonus, misses, PUTS THE DIE BACK IN THE HUGE CASE WITH THE REST OF THEM JUST TO PULL THEM OUT AGAIN NEXT TURN! As she is...she is dead weight, with bad luck with hp, low ac, terrible bonus to hit, no damage, never remembering any of her monk abilities except flurry, insistence on being in the front, and overall poor attitude. One small switch, the 14 from int and the 10 in dex and she would have been a compitant, maybe pretty good character.
I've played with others, but these two...ugh
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If you're going to bash players for their actions, how about we not focus on gender? Thank you! (This is also your warning to be civil in this thread, as I've had to remove some posts.)
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I once had to play this game with members of homo sapiens, it was a horrible experience. Do not recommend.I once had to be on the same planet with members of homo sapiens, it was a horrible experience. Do not recommend.
Hey, but there are kittens on that planet, too... So it kinda cancels each other out?
Hey, but there are kittens on that planet, too... So it kinda cancels each other out?I once had to play this game with members of homo sapiens, it was a horrible experience. Do not recommend.I once had to be on the same planet with members of homo sapiens, it was a horrible experience. Do not recommend.
I believe that Kittens can only make it worse
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I wonder how many people get together before they start a game and talk about how thier characters will work together and complement each others roles and abilities. Then talk about a reason for the adventuring party to be together. You know build a shared history for the party.
Rather than making up groups that have no logical reason to work as a team? Then complain when all the different concepts clash and the adventuring party makes no sense.
We have at least one session before the game just getting the party right.
What I have seen in this thread is a complete lack of communication between players - its NOT about GENDER it's about EXPECTATIONS. The irritating players are irritating because they don't share or dont know what your expectations of the game are and you have no regard for theirs.
RPG's are a shared experiance - you need to explain what you want out of the game before the game starts, but you will also need to compromise and make room for what others want out of the game. Its the only way you all will have fun.
If that doesn't work and the game is still un-fun it's time to find a new group.
If you're going to bash players for their actions, how about we not focus on gender?
This...
I wonder how many people get together before they start a game and talk about how thier characters will work together and complement each others roles and abilities. Then talk about a reason for the adventuring party to be together. You know build a shared history for the party.
Rather than making up groups that have no logical reason to work as a team? Then complain when all the different concepts clash and the adventuring party makes no sense.
We have at least one session before the game just getting the party right.
What I have seen in this thread is a complete lack of communication between players - its NOT about GENDER it's about EXPECTATIONS. The irritating players are irritating because they don't share or dont know what your expectations of the game are and you have no regard for theirs.
RPG's are a shared experiance - you need to explain what you want out of the game before the game starts, but you will also need to compromise and make room for what others want out of the game. Its the only way you all will have fun.
If that doesn't work and the game is still un-fun it's time to find a new group.
And very much this.
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My gaming groups are about even split between men/women. I've DM'ed while my wife played, and she was given no special treatment.
Good players and bad players are not gender exclusive.
Rather than watching movies or playing video games, My boyfriend and I will do gestalt 1-person parties, one of us running the story and the other one playing. It's really helped me a lot. I used to be a "girl who dates gamers" and now I'm more of a "gamer girl."
Tacking on to the story about the girl who had her first character death. In my experience, we do get a little more (or at least show it more), how do I say, emotionally attached to our characters. I've seen more girls pout over it than guys. Then again, that might be my group.
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The one experience I've had in this vein was the reverse. The girl had been a member of my gaming group for about a year. One of my other players was her ex, but the rest of us were cool with her and knew they'd broken up because the guy was an idiot, so she never really felt excluded or shunned, both at the table and away. She was just part of the gang. (And a dang good cook too!)
However, she tried to get one of her later boyfriends into the game when I started running Savage Tide. He was present for a handful of sessions where he didn't really participate in any of the RP, was barely paying attention for most of the combat, and only showed up intermittently, with several sessions' worth of gaps of "yeah he wandered off again". Eventually he just stopped coming completely, which was fine with the rest of us and we just kind of forgot he was ever there.
The issue came a few months later, where she started missing sessions because boyfriend would make conflicting plans for gaming night. She at least had the foresight to notify the rest of us several days in advance, but it was still frustrating. "We've kept this same schedule for over a year, this is the day we always game, it's the only game you play in (we had another game going on Fridays in tandem with this Saturday game, DMed by one of the other players, but she wasn't in it), is it really that hard to block out that part of your schedule? You've already done it for work." We couldn't help but think of it as "boyfriend wants her not spending time with a bunch of other guys (and one other girl)" and eventually she stopped showing up too.
The game went on for a couple more chapters before falling apart, but that wasn't her absence's fault, that was more "we took a break due to playing for a year and burning out a little, and never got started again".
Has anyone here ever had a woman or S/O in general destroy a game?The majority of female players I have played with or GMed for have been fine. Some have improved the game, by thinking outside the 'kick door, kill orc' mentality that limited most of the guys.
THat said, I'm not going to lie. I've had several players bring clingy girlfriends, who were clearly not there for the game, AT ALL.
Refusing to play when invited, refusing to even look at a pre-gen PC, refusing to be run through the rules, refusing to even suggest the kind of character or plot they might be inspired by.
Sulking at the table, with their arms folded, because their man wanted to spend time with his friends, instead of with her.
"This is stuuuuuupid!"
"This is booooooring!"The fact that the one in your group is actually getting into aspects of the character puts her head and shoulders above the ones I had to suffer.
But even then, none of them killed the game;
we lost a few players, whose empty husks are probably staggering round a shoe shop as we speak, with their 'honeybunny's fangs embedded in their skull.But the game went on.
The games must go on, less we become husks. Married and still gaming guy commenting here.
Has anyone here ever had a woman or S/O in general destroy a game?
Of course. Who hasn't had the GM give their girlfriend/boyfriend some ridiculous PC and/or favor that PC an entire campaign. Definitely sucks and it's the reason why I quit that campaign (and the friends in general).
On the other hand, I once introduced an old girlfriend to RPGs and I kicked her ass on the 1st session (I didn't cheat), and she never played again.
So GMs have a little bit of a tight wire act to perform.
The one experience I've had in this vein was the reverse. The girl had been a member of my gaming group for about a year. One of my other players was her ex, but the rest of us were cool with her and knew they'd broken up because the guy was an idiot, so she never really felt excluded or shunned, both at the table and away. She was just part of the gang. (And a dang good cook too!)
However, she tried to get one of her later boyfriends into the game when I started running Savage Tide. He was present for a handful of sessions where he didn't really participate in any of the RP, was barely paying attention for most of the combat, and only showed up intermittently, with several sessions' worth of gaps of "yeah he wandered off again". Eventually he just stopped coming completely, which was fine with the rest of us and we just kind of forgot he was ever there.
The issue came a few months later, where she started missing sessions because boyfriend would make conflicting plans for gaming night. She at least had the foresight to notify the rest of us several days in advance, but it was still frustrating. "We've kept this same schedule for over a year, this is the day we always game, it's the only game you play in (we had another game going on Fridays in tandem with this Saturday game, DMed by one of the other players, but she wasn't in it), is it really that hard to block out that part of your schedule? You've already done it for work." We couldn't help but think of it as "boyfriend wants her not spending time with a bunch of other guys (and one other girl)" and eventually she stopped showing up too.
The game went on for a couple more chapters before falling apart, but that wasn't her absence's fault, that was more "we took a break due to playing for a year and burning out a little, and never got started again".
The guy passed his sabotage game check. What a lowly dog-man.
Reform the party!
The guy passed his sabotage game check. What a lowly dog-man.
Heh. Nah, it lasted a good five months after she stopped showing up. Near-full party revamp in the process - most switched characters upon reaching the Isle of Dread, and the last one of the original party from Chapter One got killed by Burbalarg the Shambler and refused Raise Dead - but they made it all the way to the Big Battle and part of Golismorga before we took a break, then IRL intervened.
Reform the party!
Hahah, if one player wasn't in the military in the middle east and the married couple trapped with only one available computer for the two of them I'd certainly consider it! I'm fairly certain they'd all be eager to resume. Would rather have the full compliment of players available though, and again IRL prevents that from being workable.