On board the deck of the Lurching Wyvern the crew is working furiously to sail into a southerly wind, hoping to make port at Pridon's Hearth before nightfall. Six passengers sit idly by and watch the crew from the taffrail, the spray of white foam glittering behind them.
One of these six passengers is Odie Ross. He is a large, green skinned Half-Orc with shoulder length black hair, pronounced lower jar and tusk like teeth in a toothy grin. Clad in wooden armor, a greatsword across his back, a many pouched belt around his waist, and golden eyes.
He has sat quietly for this trip, he seems a little bestial but not unfriendly.
"So, is anyone else on the run or is it just me?" Odie says cheerfully if not a bit nervously.
"I'm honestly not sure what I'll do with myself once we dock. I'm Odie, by the way, pleased to meet you."
Odie extends his hand to shake that of his nearest fellow passenger.
A rotund man dressed in the fine clothes of Eledar nobility enthusiastically shakes Odie's hand.
"Gallio Menius, pleased to finally meet you sir," he says. Gallio is well-known to Odie and the other passengers, having talked non-stop to the captain about his plans to start a papaya farm in Pridon's Hearth since setting foot on the ship. Odie has seen about a dozen of Gallio's servants in the hold guarding freshly forged farm equipment and stores of papaya seeds since leaving Eledar that morning.
"There are plenty of jobs for strong men like you. Farmers, masons, bodyguards, and so forth. This is the perfect place for new starts, whether entrepreneurial like myself or, uh..." he stops himself and eyes the greatsword strapped across Odie's back. "...legal. What exactly is your profession, anyway?"
"Well, Gallio, up until recently, I was an arena or cage fighter you might call it. I was a part of the Pig Headed Crew."
Odie looks regretful at mentioning his old crew but determined to move forward with whatever comes his way.
"But that is in the past. This body guarding profession, I'd get paid to kill people who are trying to kill one guy? Why can't he fight his own battles?"
Odie pulls some tobacco and rolling paper to roll himself a smoke. Once it's rolled he offers it out to the group.
"Any one else want one?"
I just actually read that guys name! Good thing I'm not a lawyer!
One of the other passengers is a dwarf named Hargold "Stonewall" steelpounder. He's 4ft tall with red hair and a grumpy disposition. He has chainmail and a huge tower shield beautifully stylized like a stone wall. He has a flail and sword on his belt and a bundle of javelins on his back along with a backpack stuffed to the brim. He stomps over, clanking as he goes looking sick to his stomach.
"Stonewall" he chokes out, about to hurl all over Gallio and Odie. "How much longer do we have on this blasted boat?
He looks at the roll of tobacco and starts to turn green and gives Odie a glowering look.
Gallio's eyes go wide in fear at the thought of killing as a spectator sport.
"Some take no pleasure in the death of others," Gallio says. "And generally the payment is for keeping someone alive, not as a legal right to murder. And no thank you, I don't smoke that foul weed.
I hope they're not all like this, Gallio thinks to himself. I'd heard the frontier was dangerous, but I thought they were talking about the diseases, not the residents...
As Gallio shuffles away from Odie, being sure not to turn his back on the large half-orc, one of the other passengers takes a wad of tobacco from Odie. She is a Zenj woman, native to Garund, and covered in furs and hides from animals she likely killed herself. She shoves the tobacco into her lower lip and leans nonchalantly against her longspear, patting Stonewall's back.
"Only a half hour more, foreigner. See the smoke?" she says before turning to Odie and saying something in a language neither of you understand.
Odie Linguistics: 1d20 + 0 ⇒ (11) + 0 = 11
Stonewall Linguistics: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (1) + 1 = 2
"Polyglot, huh? I took you for a Mwangi but I don't know the language."
Odie takes a moment to light his own and then continues while smoking.
"I bet you're pretty good with that thing." Odie says pointing to her spear.
Odie thinks to himself Finally, someone to talk to who isn't a farmer and might actually know something useful.
"You already got work lined up?"
She seems taken aback.
"You do not speak Polyglot? You and this dwarf better be good friends then. No one else will understand you outside Pridon's Folly."
Everyone: You know that Pridon's "Folly" is the old Sargavan name for Pridon's Hearth, so named for the first failed attempt to settle the delta a hundred years ago. The current town is only 4 years old, and you PCs are a part of the titular Second Wave of colonists that Count Narsus of Pridon's Hearth called for this past year. You don't have to roll a Knowledge check to know these facts; they are common knowledge.
The Zenj woman fingers the longbow on her back and looks out at the coastline, thick trees spilling over the shoreline. "Umuzu has work. I will be guiding a survey team through the Laughing Jungle for 3 weeks. We board The Cobalt Eye in two days time."
She turns back to Odie and sickly Stonewall. "But that won't matter to you. You won't last one week here."
Intimidate on Stonewall to demoralize: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (17) + 4 = 21
"I'd take anything over being on a boat any longer!" says Stonewall but he grips his Tower shield for comfort and looks at the half-orc with an evaluating eye. I wish I had taken the time to get to know the other settlers more...maybe I should just try to set up a blacksmith. What am I going to be facing if she thinks I'll only last a week?! Stonewall blusters "You'll see another reason I'm called Stonewall, I never run from a challenge!"
"A survey team huh? Do you think Umuzu will need additional guards? This isn't just a look I'm going for here. Being 6'6" is usually enough to keep others from bothering but I'm actually not half bad with a sword."
While the language barrier could be real, I might as well try and land a job while I'm at it.
SM: 1d20 + 0 ⇒ (17) + 0 = 17
"Stonewall huh? Our dwarf blacksmith back home was named Goldbattle, he ran from all kinds of challenges, but he made this sword I carry. Most dwarves I've run across want a look at each other's work. Care to inspect it?"
Odie unslings his sword to show Stonewall as a sign of no hard feelings about the smoking that seems to have put him on edge.
Umuzu scoffs at Stonewall and looks back out to the shoreline. If he can't hold his lunch down on the boat, wait until he tries the tigerfish.
To Odie, she says, "I am the guard. I am the guide. I am Umuzu. Besides, our passage about the Cobalt Eye was booked weeks ago. You are out of luck."
The fifth passenger is a sharply dressed man with a monocle and a fabulous mustache. He hears Stonewall's shouting and shuffles over to your side of the deck and says, "You like a challenge, old boy? Perhaps you'll find some cyclopean Ghol-Ghan ruins for an old prospector like me. Rumors say they're quite a dreadful place to be, but you can't trust all that. I'd pay handsomely for any archaeological artifacts you sniff out. You can find me and my boys at the Stone Hall."
He pauses for a minute and then bursts out in staccato laughter. "Ha ha! Stone Hall, Stonewall. Ha ha!"
Umuzu and Gallio do not find the joke particularly funny.
Stonewall's eyes light up, he looks the blade over being careful not to touch it. "Ah, a beautiful blade. I'm not used to making weapons as my training is in armor but she is a handsome blade, what is her name?" He holds up his tower shield for Odie to examine but keeps it just out of reach. He glances down at his shield with love in his eyes and says, "This is Igvir, my darling lady.". He seems completely distracted from the foreboding conversation with Umuzu and turns away from her to engage the half or in conversation.
He is startled out of his reverie by the other passenger' "I AM in need of work, maybe we can be of help to each other." He seems not to even notice the pun. Who are you?
"Mr. Blackwell, prospector of mineral rights. And sorry chap, but I have my own dwarf already on staff for sniffing out those precious metals. But I'll be keeping an eye on you nonetheless," the man says. There is a look in his eye behind the monocle you're not sure you can read.
Putting up his hands in a placating gesture to Umuzu.
"Hey, no hard feelings, just an orc trying to rustle up a job. Is the language barrier really that big of a problem? No offense, but I don't want to be hiring you everytime I want to communicate to the locals."
"No name, just the greatsword I had on me when I, uh, came this way. But your shield is a work of art, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you were carrying around a stonewall, haha! It seems we are both in need of coin, want to increase our chances and team up? Between your shield and my sword, we'd make a decent pair of guards."
The ship lists to the side, giving Mr. Blackwell an excuse to break off the conversation with Stonewall. Seems Stonewall likes to stonewall in conversation as well as on the battlefield. He may not be worth keeping an eye on at all.
Umuzu laughs at Odie. "No offense but you could not afford me. I am not a translator anyway."
Gallio overhears the conversation about translators and decides to butt in. "Did you say you needed a translator?" he asks the dwarf, not realizing Umuzu was talking to Odie. Taken aback, Gallio composes himself and addresses both the dwarf and the half-orc equally. My father always said, money is money, no matter whose blood-stained hands it comes from. "One of my brick-layers underwent a recent injury this morning aboard our ship here. The captain assures me rope burns heal quickly, but, well, she isn't going to be making me any money sitting at home.
Gallio pulls aside a Tien (Pathfinder!Asian) woman from guarding his farm implements. She seems to have had too much to drink and her right hand is wrapped in a bandage.
"How about you hire Fang here? She speaks Polyglot, Tien, Halfling, and I'm sure others as well. Now she's my best brick-layer, so she won't come cheap. I'd say... 6 gold pieces a day? You'd make payment to me or her, seeing as she's an indentured servant, her wages go back to me until her debt is paid off."
Diplomacy: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (14) + 7 = 21
You both can roll Sense Motive DC 21, or Appraise/Knowledge (local)/Profession (translator) DC 15 to know he's asking 1 gp/day too much.
Sense Motive: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (13) + 1 = 14
Thats way above my pay grade, I'm going to have to get by without.
Stonewall looks at Odie with appreciation for his kindness.
It is possible we would have an easier time finding business if we work together. I know a little about soldiering. I was planning on trying to find work in that field but I would not be opposed to a partner.
Getting a wider and wider smile on his face as he goes on and on.
"Working in a field sounds back breaking on top of boring. I bet together we could find something that would break our backs with bags of gold! But to me, gold isn't the goal, I mean, gotta eat to live, gotta live to eat, right? I bet we could even find something fun to do like storm a castle or burn down a village or kill a dragon or kill some rats in a basement or clear a cave of goblins or save a town from the plague or over throw a loud tyrant that's also a vampire or get attacked by bandits, bearly beating them off or save a princess or or or I'm talking too much, sorry, this is a hard habit to break."
Odie looks ashamed and backs off a bit from him verbal diarrhea.
I did it again, I need to back off, I just met these people, but I think this dwarf and I are on to something.
"Since I've not been in the world much, I'd just like to see what is out there rather than what kind of wheat they're growing in that field. I feel like you should come with me. Are you up for it Mr. Stonewall?"
Stick with me and you'll never go hungry again!
Speaking to Stonewall, "I can help a bit with the ocean sickness." He places his hand on Stonewall's shoulder and casts healing touch. "My name is Alset, Alset Kirk. I'm a paladin looking to bring some faith to the new lands before us," he said, motioning toward the fast approaching shoreline. "Perhaps, I might be of some benefit to you and your tall friend," nodding to Odie and laying his hand upon the hilt of his sword.
"Wow, our little group is growing quickly! I suppose three is a decent number, but four would be ideal for a squad. For now, I'll take what I can get!"
Noticing the crest of Iomedae, Odie asks "I haven't worked with a paladin before, do all of you have a sword as your crest?"
Odie has some obvious knowledge gaps regarding religion in general.
"Ah, another entrepreneur," Gallio says to Alset. "Will you be building your church from scratch? Where did you purchase your land from? Or will you be pitching a tent on Island Town and calling it home like the rest of the riffraff until you've raised enough money?"
Land isn't cheap, but there's no way he got as good a deal as I did for my farm. I'm glad I don't have to sweat and labor in this heat for months before I can break ground on my own buildings.
Gallio motions to Fang, his injured brick-layer. "I bet an Iomedaen like yourself needs a good translator. 5 gold a day if you plan on leaving the town proper with her. I'll even sweeten the deal by letting you borrow her for your own construction needs."
If he doesn't die from a jungle fever first.
Gallio is lowering the price to its accurate cost because he's a paladin.
Oh thank you master Kirk, blessed relief! Stonewall straightens and looks the most comfortable he has the whole trip. A squad is a good idea, there is safety in numbers, says Stonewall to Alset and Odie as he hefts his tower shield with practiced grace and looks toward the rising smoke.
Removing his hand from his sword hilt, Alset speaks kindly to Stonewall, "No trouble. I am blessed with this gift and gladly share it."
Turning to Gallio, "You are called 'Gallio,' I believe. I'll answer your questions. Then you can answer one of mine." Bowing slightly toward the man of large girth, "I am, like most, in need of funds, so 'entrepreneur' is a near term. I prefer 'entreleader.' I do not plan to build a sanctuary. I will leave that to others. I function as more as one who enlightens those who cross my path in my travels. I do not seek to burden Seekers by asking for their support. I earn my own way. A true church is the people anyway, not a structure. Worshipers do not require a permanent building, only the clearness of mind to meditate on our deity. So, my friend, I will not be needing any 'construction' assistance." Standing a little taller and looking gently into the eyes of Gallio, "Now, most generous Gallio, for my question. How am I supposed to pay for your translator's services?"
I'll be making all rolls visible to ya'll, even if their purpose is still obfuscated. These, however, are just for magic items in Pridon's Hearth.
1d100 ⇒ 251d100 ⇒ 251d100 ⇒ 491d100 ⇒ 101d100 ⇒ 311d100 ⇒ 201d100 ⇒ 151d100 ⇒ 651d100 ⇒ 41
1d100 ⇒ 971d100 ⇒ 761d100 ⇒ 531d100 ⇒ 801d100 ⇒ 601d100 ⇒ 651d100 ⇒ 661d100 ⇒ 231d100 ⇒ 25
Gee, I hope you guys like potions.
EDIT: I've changed my mind. I'm just going to pick ones. You don't want a bunch of lame 2nd level potions that, according to the rules, you could just buy regularly. You guys probably have no idea what I'm talking about anyway so don't worry about it.
While waiting for Gallio's response, Alset turns his gaze to Ross, and answers, "No, a paladin's holy symbol is based on the symbol of his or her deity. In my case, I follow Iomedae. Her symbol is the shining sword. Other gods have other symbols. Do you follow a god?"
Gallio grasps a stray rope to steady himself, unsure of how to talk to someone that is not out for any personal gain. "Ah, you don't prey on the helpless, you genuinely believe. You're a rare sight. However, you can pay like everyone else I've met does: gold coins. Don't try any of that 'virtue is it's own reward' nonsense on me."
A religious fanatic. At least Iomedaens don't sacrifice innocents or drink blood. Everyone on this ship is crazy, except for me and my lovely papayas...
Sorry, didn't see this until after I'd sent my post and spent too much time looking at magic items for sale.
"Uh, no, we didn't have much use for gods where I'm from. We had only each other, though, a deity who's representation to the world is a sword can't be too bad, haha!" Odie says smiling. "What brings you to the Hearth?"
Might as well try and get to know these guys in our new group.
Odie looks excitedly at Gallio "Do you have any papayas for sale? I'd like a half dozen if they're fresh! I don't think I've ever had one!"
Gallio looks embarrassed and says, "Well, no, not yet. I have plenty seeds ready to plant. They're not quite in season yet." He opens a nearby barrel stuffed to the brim with little black papaya seeds. "But I'll make sure you get first pick from my first harvest! After of course my own cut, taxation fees, quality control testing, and all that. They should be ready by the end of the year. Unless you know a druid willing to quicken their growing processes."
With a confused, furrowed-brow look at Gallio, Alset responds,"Virtue is its own reward. But, that is not of which I speak. I'm truly asking how, or where, am I to get five gold coins every day for payment? Though your offer is indeed generous, it is beyond my current abilities."
Gallio pulls out a pen and parchment from his waistcoat and hands them to Alset, saying, "Don't worry, you can write a quick letter to your father right here. We can leave it with the captain and he'll deliver it to Eledar tomorrow evening. That's how my own papaya farm was funded."
He pauses for a moment before continuing. "Oh, unless, that is, your family's not... poor, are they?" He looks around at the three of you with new eyes. "Don't tell me you have to actually earn your living getting your-" he gulps, "hands dirty...?" He looks at Stonewall, Alset, and Odie's few belongings and a deep look of embarrassment covers his face.
Gallio pulls at his collar and looks toward the shore, getting closer by the minute. "Are we there yet?"
A crew-member from atop the mast shouts down, "Not more than a half an hour now with these tides. We're sailing up the Little Tiger River as we speak."
Then the second Dwarf with short brown beard and hair stood up from his meditation, and stepped forward. He then stated generally, "relying on wealth to strongly will lead to misfortune."
Then addressing those present, "Greetings fellow travelers, my name is Ood Ironforged." Turning to Alset, Odie, and Stonewall, "there is wisdom in traveling with companions. I seek what knowledge this land has to offer and would welcome traveling with you."
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Stonewall throws his hands up in frustration, turns to Gallio and says in a gruff voice, We don't have any money you dolt, that's why we need work." These people never think. Stonewall turns to Ood and looks him over, "We could use another Dwarf.". His beard is awful short though...
"Ood, you are welcome to join our group but you seem to have left your weapon in your bunk."Odie glares suspiciously at Ood.
What kind of warrior forgets his weapon?
Then Odie's eyes light up "No way! You've got to be one of those sneaky burglar types. Do you keep your weapons hidden away and only spring them out when you need to stab someone? Can I see you pull a dagger from nowhere?
I know you're a monk but Odie doesn't
Chuckling at the bluntness of Stonewall's response to Gallio, "Writing to my father would not bring about the desired payment, Mr Gallio. Perhaps in your kindness, as you've so far showed us, you could suggest another alternative that would assist us." Looking at the others, "unless one of you can translate for us?"
Diplomacy: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (11) + 1 = 12
Turning to Ironforged, "Greetings. I see that your meditations draw your closer to your deity. Do you have a particular deity that you follow? I, myself, follow Iomedae." He slightly nods his head to Ironforged and turns his attention back to Gallio expectantly.
Gallio says to the group, "Gold is what makes the world tick, like it or not. Perhaps you can convince a local to come with you into the jungle, seeing as you (four, is it now?) have joined in camaraderie so quickly. Unless you have the money, I can be of no help."
"Here is the best advice I can give you," Umuzu says, standing up and heading to the rail. "Do not go into the jungle at all. Stay in Pridon's Hearth, and keep your lives."
Umuzu leaps off the side of the boat and into the clear blue waters below in a graceful dive. Ahead, you can see the shore is within hailing distance, while behind you, the sun sets, its fading light illuminating the small town. A line of docks and shacks surrounded by flimsy tents dot the shoreline, palm trees and tropical plants growing in every spot of uncovered soil. A few campfires burn low, huddled figures crouched around them, their smoke carrying the scent of fish and exotic spices to the passengers on board.
"Pridon's Hearth lacks a deep-water harbor, poor sods." Mr. Blackwell says. "We'll have to travel in that rickety old tub they're lowering down now, unless you can swim like the missus there."
As Umuzu swims to the shore, the captain calls out orders to lower anchor and prepare the dinghy. "Pridon's Hearth!" he shouts to the passengers. "Grab your belongings and load into the boats."
Stonewall stands by the dinghy shaking and mumbles, "Sweet merciful...(unintelligible)" as he gathers himself up to climb into the dinghy shaking and starting to look sick again. You hear him mumbling, "Just make it to shore, just make it to shore" over and over again.
Lets be fair, he is carrying about 170 pounds of equipment...
Ood turns to Stonewall and nods acknowledgement and says in Dwarven, "Well met." As he thinks, it's always nice to have another dwarf around.
Then turns to Odie and gestures to himself, and the simple clothing adorning his body. "I need no armor and weapons to do battle. A monk is always armed, even with just a fist. I suppose it may be considered that I have a hidden weapon." Ood unwraps the chain around his belt and holds up two finely crafted, but unadorned kamas, attached to each other with a chain. "Though, I have no need to burgle or steal. As a monk, my needs are simple. There are many purposes this may serve other than to maim or kill. This is a useful tool even more than a weapon." this Odie is an interesting sort. Ood then puts the kama away.
Turning to Alset, "I follow the path of the Oath Keeper, Kols."
Ood then picks up his pack from where he was meditating in preparation to disembark.
Those things look like climbing spikes, maybe he's some kind of mining/climbing dwarf
"Good thing your needs are simple, looks like we might have issues getting gold once we get to town." Odie jokes as he climbs into the boat, he carries all his possessions with him at all times, though the weight doesn't seem to bother him.
"Let's do this thing."
Alset waits for the others to board the questionable transport dingy, then begins to climb aboard. He wonders with the sun setting quickly if they'll find suitable accommodations. "Anyone have any ideas about where to find lodging?" He speaks to Gallio, "Mr. Gallio, perhaps you can be of help. Any recommendations for lodging? Reasonably priced of course." I don't expect too much, but Gallio may give us more information than he realizes.
Gallio is hurriedly filling the first dinghy with his farming implements, barrels of papaya seeds, and various indentured servants. "Place to stay? Well I plan on staying at my farm, but my servants will be staying in tents. I'm sure they have an inn or tavern. Excuse me now, I have to be first," he says, pushing past the other passengers. He steps into the now crowded dinghy as the sailors lower the boat into the waters. Gallio watches his servants row him to shore while he tries to keep his overstuffed boat from losing any important luggage over the side.
On the other side is the second dinghy. The four of you board the boat and after a few minutes of rowing and soaked boots you find yourselves bumping against the wooden dock of Pridon's Hearth. Gallio is already organizing his goods and giving orders to his servants when a local man begins to shout at Gallio.
"You filthy leeches should be leaving this land!" the man shouts, spittle flying from his mouth. The man then swings a right hook at Gallio, knocking the rotund noble to the ground. Gallio is shocked and speechless. The local man smashes a bottle in his hand and waves the jagged edges at Gallio.
"And if you're not going to leave, guess I'll have to make you."
Odie Perception: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (7) + 6 = 13
Stonewall Perception or Sense Motive: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (19) + 1 = 20
Alset Sense Motive: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (3) + 5 = 8
Ood Perception: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (4) + 8 = 12
Stonewall gets off the boat as fast as he can and braces himself agains the piles of the dock. He looks down a closed his eyes as he composes himself. When he hears the commotion he looks up and sees Gallio being assaulted. He does a quick glance to see if there are any guards about that have noticed. Not seeing anyone immediately approaching, he quickly interposes himself between the man and Gallio, he holds Igvir up in defense but only holds his hand ready to draw a weapon but doesn't yet. He says, "Hold sir, don't do something you would regret." He keeps his eye on the jagged bottle the whole time. "Someone get their butt over here and give me a hand." he yells over his shoulder at everyone standing around them.
How am I the only one that noticed, haha
yeah, I realized that, I understand that my comment could have been confusing. I just meant that how did I get the highest check.
What in the world is going on here? Well, Stonewall won't stand alone. Ood leaps from the dinghy, and runs to Stonewall's side and holds out his bare hands in an open gesture saying, "Surely there is a better solution to your grievance than assault."
I have no idea what this person is thinking, but my new companions should not be left alone.
Alset nods his head at Odie and motions that they should take up a position behind the agitated man. He moves quickly to do so, not looking to see if Odie is following.
Gallio may not be in the right, but a broken bottle to the gut isn't the way to resolve this. The law should be given first chance to rectify the situation fairly and peacefully. If they have a law here!
With a sigh, Odie exits the boat and joins his companions on the dock.
I guess I should help, Gallio has been the only being to be close to friendly with us.
Odie moves behind the man, drawing his sword but resting it casually on his own shoulder. Then tapping him on the shoulder with his other hand while attempting to intimidate him into standing down.
"Listen, buddy, this extra large leech isn't worth your time."
intemidate: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (16) + 6 = 22
Like mother always says "Fist impressions are important!"
Gotta make sure we start off in a downward spiral by attacking the first person we meet!
The man scowls at Odie, but drops his bottle onto the dock and slouches away.
"Eh, you ain't worth my time," he says. He grabs another bottle off a pylon and begins to drain it as he stumbles inland.
A successful nonviolent approach, team (or I should say Odie). 400 XP for the party, updated in the tracking sheet.
Gallio brushes himself off and says, "Thank you, thank you so much! I might have died! I've never met that man before, but he reeked of alcohol."
"What's going on here?" an authoritative voice asks. A woman dressed in red military uniform with two soldiers on either side approaches the dock. She has a military style haircut, tattoos on her muscled arms, and the harried look of someone with not enough time on her hands.
Odie sheathes his sword and notices that they are not the local police.
"Good evening! Nothing much, just a man who'd had too much to drink. He went off in that direction if you'd care to follow him." Odie points in the direction the drunk wandered inland and then with a toothy smile. "or if you want I could buy you a drink at the tavern of your choice...
Diplomacy: 1d20 + 0 ⇒ (1) + 0 = 1