PbP Gameday #3: GM..Silbeg's We Be Goblins (PbP Superstars) (Inactive)

Game Master Silbeg

Chuffy squeals in glee.

Climb: 1d20 + 3 - 2 ⇒ (20) + 3 - 2 = 21

"Chuffy find some treasure," says the goblin as he climbs back down the tree, his pimple juice from the ascent making it a little more slick than usual, "Not much. Just bit of gold, and interesting looking tube."

Sense motive: 1d20 - 1 - 2 ⇒ (15) - 1 - 2 = 12

"Chubby, what else you find? No lying or I make you go BOOOM"

Seeing Chuffy's pocket budge, knowing it is not his goblinhood, Mogmurch attempts to grab it.

Sleight of hand: 1d20 + 8 - 2 ⇒ (14) + 8 - 2 = 20

Chuffy shies away from Mogmurch, but the persistent alchemist's fiddly fingers tickle too much. Mogmurch is rewarded for his efforts when he pulls out a...1d5 ⇒ 5... brown, musky smelling potion.

"Chuffy not know how that get there," he lies (Bluff: 1d20 + 2 - 2 ⇒ (10) + 2 - 2 = 10) unconvincingly, before his curiosity gets the best of him and he leans forwards, "What is it? Moggy can tell, yes?"

Holding the liquid for one round:

Craft (Alchemy): 1d20 + 6 - 2 ⇒ (10) + 6 - 2 = 14

If I know, I tell them.

If I don't know"

"Poog, you drink this. Makes your goblinhood grow big like mine. Maybe R(e)ita like you like she like me."

Nope. MOgmurch doesn't have a clue.

Mogmurch bluff: 1d20 + 0 ⇒ (18) + 0 = 18

"That no likely, Mogie-murchy," Reta says titling her head oddly to the side and looking quizzically at Mogmurch. She repeatedly opens and closes her eyes in an exaggerated manner, apparently trying to entice the alchemist, but instead only succeeding in looking like something unpleasant and uncomfortable is in her eyes.
"Reta and Poo try playing giggle-tickles once, but Reta end feeling bad about self after..."

Rita giggles at all the commotion, trying to keep her excitement down, lest more flame escape her before she is ready. She laughs at Mogmurch. "Reta more like to make Rita giggle than Mogmurch. Mogmurch hung like baby gob!"

"Chuffy hiding other things? Rita make Chuffy light up sky like bonfire if Chuffy lie!"

GM sits back and watches the gobbo hilarity

"Reta and Poo try playing giggle-tickles once, but Reta end feeling bad about self after..."

Poog crinkles his nose at the balloon headed female. "How many times I tell you, fire not supposed to go there. Hot and bothered have nothing to do with how I make fire with my fingers. Not my fault you not feel happy..."

Poog crosses his arms, spiderwebs still clinging to him. He walks around, gathering himself, trying to pretend like they arent there, before his frustration boils over and he flips out, taking a few minutes to break his way free.

Take 20 escape artist, will struggle for a minute or two getting out, adding to the uncomfortable moment...

Once free, he peers at Chuffy in his proclamation.

Sense Motive: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (7) + 1 = 8

"Chuffy Lie, Zarongel make you burn..." Poog then assists Mugmurch in wrestling the extra items pilfered to inspect them.

Spellcraft: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (1) + 3 = 4

Unsure what the potion does, Poog pockets it, and finishes gathering everything up from the fight with the overgrown spider. He then takes his dogslicer and removes lotslegs head, and stuffs it in his pack.

"Lets keep moving. Need to bring fireworks to big chief." With that he stomps off in the direction indicated on the map.

Lurching over to Reta, she gives her a high-five...for some reason. Or tries to. Her oversized head makes such hand-eye coordination difficult. Nodding at Poog's wisdom, she starts trudging down the trail after him.

If there's nothing to expel the fire breath on in the next hour, she will breathe the other two gouts into the woods, hoping to start a fire.

As they trudge along the path, Chuffy holds his hands over his chest, sweating profusely. Pimple-juice mixes with goblin sweat to form milky rivulets that run down Chuffy's pock-marked face. Chuffy hunches over, and eyes his companions with a mixture of suspicion and guilt clearly etched over his disgusting features. His sweating grows worse as they continue on, and he begins to look more and more nervous as he senses his companions' eyes upon him.

"Chuffy not have more potions!" he screams all of a sudden. Then, 1d20 + 2 - 2 ⇒ (5) + 2 - 2 = 5 even less believably than before, he cries, "No can have anyway! Even if Chuffy did! And Chuffy don't! So... go 'way!"

As Chuffy runs off a 1d4 ⇒ 2 pink, swirly potion rolls out onto the ground. Wide-eyed in horror at the thought he might lose one more precious possession, Chuffy leaps upon the potion. As everyone turns to look at him, he quickly pulls out the stopper and chugs the pink, minty liquid down as quickly as he can.

Not quite knowing what the effects would have been (assuming they don't become immediately apparent), Chuffy stands up exultantly, "Ha! You no get Chuffy potions now! Nor pearl neither! Ha ha! Chuffy most powerful gobbo in swamp! Ever! Mwa ha ha!"

For the below, I'm just going to assume he fails at each attempt - GM Silbeg, please let me know when / if he succeeds and I'll retcon what he does instead.

Seeking to prove his newfound powers (whatever they might be), Chuffy first attempts to heft an enormous log. Veins pop out on Chuffy's temples as he strains to lift the much-too large log. Disgustingly, moments later, many pimples and one boil also pop, spraying the log.

"No strong, just showing that Chuffy can do amazings when not strong! See how Chuffy jump!" Chuffy then attempts to leap over a very tall bush. He instead gets tangled in the lower branches. In a fit of frustration, he pulls his torso free from the cloying twigs and briars, ending up with his feet still in the bush but his hands on the ground. Slowly, he drags his lower half out by pawing at the ground.

"No, can jump, but can fly!" declares Chuffy, climbing to the top of a large (10ft high) boulder and then jumping off. Chuffy falls face first in the dirt, leaving tiny muddy puddles of puss where his head was. Falling damage: 1d6 ⇒ 1

"No fly, then, but Chuffy breave fire like Rita!" and with that, the creepy little goblin starts burping as profusely as he can. Eventually, the burps sound like coughs, and the coughs give way to retches and before long, the already sickened Chuffy pukes up his eye-ball rations all over the ground.

"Ah, Chuffy must be invisdible!" he whispers to himself. Still in plain sight, Chuffy pulls Stankrush the spider out from his cage and creeps over to Mogmurch (who first spotted his lie) and slowly and deliberately waves the spider in front of the alchemist, saying "Wooo!" and giggling uncontrollably.

Chuffy's non-existent wounds start to heal... even some of his scabs dry up and fall off... he looks marginally healthier than he did moments before.

Assuming we're moving on...

As you all walk towards the point indicated on Scribbleface's map, you can hear the faint susurrus of waves crashing on an unseen swampy shoreline. The site itself is obvious once it is approached—a large wrecked ship lodged in a shallow pool of swamp water. Driven aground decades ago during a particularly violent storm that flung the ship several hundred feet into the flooded swamp, the ship itself is a two-masted Chelish sailing vessel with strange, faded writing on its bow.

Map is, or will be, updated

"Chuffy am brave. You gobbos follow behind Chuffy while Chuffy scout 'head," Chuffy puffs out his chest as though being magnanimous, "But not fall too far behind Chuffy, or Chuffy win on Chuffy's self."

Not wanting to share the glory of finding the fireworks, and also not wanting to suffer further scrutiny and loss of potions, Chuffy makes his way carefully around the perimeter (going no more than 60 ft from the other goblins, he wants glory but he is not brave).

Stealth : 1d20 + 16 ⇒ (15) + 16 = 31

"Why big ship by little water? Mogmurch not know much about sail big ships, once float wood in Scumrim Lake. Was a lot of fun. Where Chubby go? When he comes back I gonna hit him."

Mogmurch looks around for the stealthy goblin.

Perception: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (18) + 3 = 21

Did we rest at all on the way over? Just wondering if I get my BOOOMS back

it has been about 1hour since you left the village... About thirty minutes since you fought the spider

Inside the fence, the ground is all beat up and muddy.... So is difficult terrain.

"Yeah, yeah, brave Chuffy scout ahead!" Rita encourages Chuffy. If something pop up, then it eat Chuffy and leave Rita alone!

After a bit of waiting, Rita proceeds forward into the mud, cursing at every step.

A two-masted ship lies mired in the mud in this clearing, its rigging thick with moss and decorated with lanterns and windchimes made from goblin skulls and bones. Strange writing is faintly visible along the ship’s prow, while the soggy, swampy “yard” that surrounds the wreck is encircled by a rickety wooden fence. A thin curl of smoke wafts up from a chimney that protrudes from an unusual box-like structure near the ship's bow.

As Rita enters the fenced in area, she hears a snort, and sees the unholy terror of the Horrid Horse Stomp!!! It looks ready to charge the goblin.

init: Reta: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (6) + 3 = 9
init: Rita: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (2) + 3 = 5
init: Chuffy: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (6) + 4 = 10
init: Poog: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (17) + 6 = 23
init: Mogmurch: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (2) + 4 = 6
init: Stomp: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (4) + 2 = 6

Poog, Chuffy, Reta, and Mogmurch are up (remember the difficult terrain!)

Note: the tactical map has been updated.

Wasn't Chuffy scouting ahead? Or did the horse appear before he got a chance? Also, my stealth roll should have been 29. Forgot about the sickened condition. Feel free to place Chuffy where he would be when stomp appears based on my description above.

Poog jumps with glee at the opportunity to battle Horrid Horse Stomp. Pulling horsefinder, his long dead lucky toad from his pocket, he squeals with glee.

"Horsefinder find horse! Now dogfinder help us burn it!" The still living lucky toad, dogfinder, lets out a long croak from the top of Poog's head.

"Youse all get in here! We bring horse head to Chief! Then he throw us big party and we gets all the girls!"

Moving as quickly as his little legs can carry him, he skirts just inside the opening, and casts divine favor on himself.

Poog don't care if anyone helps or not, if chuffy steal treasure... Poog kill stomper and show chief he can be goblin general for chief...

"Oh s+$#! Where Chubby when we need him to sac-fice self to save us?"

Being a clever goblin, Mogmurch moves to a defensive postion behind the fence and readies an action: When the 'horse' closes to melee range w/Rita, he will throw a bomb..

Reta slogs forward through mire paces behind Poog, stopping behind the open gate and leaning against it, panting. Her bulbous head rests upon the rickety wooden fence, feeling the muddy suction of the swampy yard pulling her feet deeper while her grip on the dogslicer seems slimy and uncertain because of the turbid liquid splashed upon with each waterlogged step. The big-headed goblin contemptuously peers through the slats at the most vile, disgusting creature she could imagine.

"A flubbin horse," Reta says to herself as her eyes widen in equal parts abject terror and disgust. She knows such creatures should not be, and it is their duty to end it's wretched, abominable existence.

Reta double moves, 15 feet east of current position (or wherever is available) and draws her dogslicer as part of this action. *token not yet moved*

Wasn't Chuffy scouting ahead? Or did the horse appear before he got a chance? Also, my stealth roll should have been 29. Forgot about the sickened condition. Feel free to place Chuffy where he would be when stomp appears based on my description above.

left 1, right 2: 1d2 ⇒ 1 Which way chuffy scouted

Chuffy is still up!

1d100 ⇒ 2

I did mean the inside of the perimeter... I assumed we had already seen the outside. If you're okay with it, I'll play as though I was on the square just down and inside from where you placed me. If not, Chuffy will climb over the fence when he hears the sounds of battle.

Quickly and silently, Chuffy moves under the stairs, ready to rush out and attack the horse in the rear. Haw haw! Chuffy stick horse but good! Chuffy take glory, then Chuffy take boom sticks! Maybe Chuffy be Chief soon. Haw haw.

We'll say you ducked inside at that point :P

Chuffy Stealth, at full speed (remember, the ground is difficult terrain): 1d20 + 16 - 5 - 2 ⇒ (18) + 16 - 5 - 2 = 27
Chuffy Perception: 1d20 + 5 - 2 ⇒ (19) + 5 - 2 = 22

Stomp perception DC 27: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (17) + 6 = 23 Stomp doesn't see Chuffy

Stomp, the feral horse charges Rita!
STOMP!: 1d20 + 2 - 2 ⇒ (17) + 2 - 2 = 17 hoof damage: 1d4 + 1 ⇒ (4) + 1 = 5
Mogmurch then throws his bomb.
Mogmurch BOOM! vs touch: 1d20 + 6 - 4 ⇒ (5) + 6 - 4 = 7 scatter: 1d8 ⇒ 7 Stomp reflex: DC12: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (16) + 5 = 21 damage is 2 for stomp. Is that your last bomb? Doesn't splash on Rita.

Rita up, then the rest!

My early morning math sucks! Sorry about that. I halved for stealth speed, then when I checked I halved for difficult terrain speed. Never did I halve the halved amount. Sigh. Thanks for making the appropriate mods and rolls!

Is that your last bomb? Doesn't splash on Rita.

Sadly, yes. 3 bombs - no BOOMS

My early morning math sucks! Sorry about that. I halved for stealth speed, then when I checked I halved for difficult terrain speed. Never did I halve the halved amount. Sigh. Thanks for making the appropriate mods and rolls!

** spoiler omitted **

Hee hee. Let's do it!

Chuffy wraps a grabby little hand around some vines beneath the stairwell. He starts to spin around and around, then with all his might, he pulls sharply down on the vine and hurls it (hammer-throw style) towards Stompy.

Ranged wasp attack, sickened: 1d20 + 5 - 2 ⇒ (18) + 5 - 2 = 21

Rita squeals as she gets horse-hoofed. "Ahhh!! Get away, stupid horse!" She backs away, breathing another gout of flame at the beast.

Flame breath!: 4d6 ⇒ (4, 6, 3, 5) = 18

"Roast horse for supper tonight!"

"Bomb miss again. Nothing go BOOOM! Nothing go BOOOM! Nothing go BOOOM!"

Pouting, Mogmurch sits down in the mud, silently sobbing into his smelly goblin hands, refusing to fight.

”Mugmurch don’t have no booms no more? Poog can still make fire, make Mug burn if he doesn’t come help kill stumpy!” The irate little power hungry goblin yells at mugmurch.

”I tell Chief you pout like little hooman baby and run away! He make you go through ear-biter til you no have ears left! Then he let Poog burn them!”

With that, Poog turns his attention to the beast in front of him. He slogs his way through the muck, just coming around the gathered fighters. He wiggles his fingers while winking at Reta and Rita, ”See Poog’s fingers make you feel like hot stuff!” and with a cackle releases a fiery bolt at the feral horse.

Fire Bolt, Ranged Touch, divine favor: 1d20 + 3 + 1 ⇒ (10) + 3 + 1 = 14 for fire damage, divine favor: 1d6 + 1 ⇒ (3) + 1 = 4

Reta is pulled from mulling over the deep, highly intellectual thoughts rolling through her oversized brain regarding killing the horse, happily scooping out its viscera and entrials, piling all of the goblins in the now empty cavity, and the approaching Vorka in disguise...

If only way to move legs... she ponders as the disgusting horse approaches, immediately sending the goblin spiraling into a rage.

Reta runs ten feet to the east, moving blindly through an area the horse clearly threatens, fueled by pure hate for the beast.

Move Action: move ten feet east, through the horse's threatened area *token not yet moved*

attack(dogslicer): 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (20) + 3 = 23
attack(confirmation roll): 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (12) + 3 = 15
damage: 1d4 + 1 ⇒ (2) + 1 = 3
If critical, additional damage equal to damage: 1d4 + 1 ⇒ (1) + 1 = 2

Chuffy reaches up, grabbing something above him. As he rears back to throw it, wasps start coming out in a cloud. The startled goblin throws the nest in a perfect arc, hitting the poor horse. A huge swarm of wasps flies out, hitting everyone within 15' of the target (everyone but Mogmurch!).

Chuffy Fort DC13: 1d20 + 6 - 2 ⇒ (4) + 6 - 2 = 8 1 Dex damage
Reta Fort DC13: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (19) + 4 = 23 Nothing
Rita Fort DC13: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (7) + 4 = 11 1 Dex damage
Poog Fort DC13: 1d20 + 3 - 2 ⇒ (7) + 3 - 2 = 8 1 Dex damage
Stompy Fort DC13: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (8) + 5 = 13 Nothing

Rita then breathes out her fiery breath.
Stompy Ref DC13: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (19) + 4 = 23 The wasps have caused Rita to not hit the horse squarely with the full fire attack.

Poog then adds insult to the fire damage, but spitting more fire at the poor horse. The horse looks rather wobbly, until Reta moves up (provoking)
AoO: 1d20 - 2 ⇒ (11) - 2 = 9, and the stabs her dogslicer into the horse. The horse falls... smouldering and bleeding.

Chuffy Fort DC13: 1d20 + 6 - 2 ⇒ (16) + 6 - 2 = 20 done
Rita Fort DC13: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (12) + 4 = 16 done
Poog Fort DC13: 1d20 + 3 - 2 ⇒ (5) + 3 - 2 = 6 1 Dex damage

Poog Fort DC13: 1d20 + 3 - 2 ⇒ (6) + 3 - 2 = 7 1 Dex damage

Poog Fort DC13: 1d20 + 3 - 2 ⇒ (15) + 3 - 2 = 16 Finally done!

At this point, you hear barking coming from the boat. What? Barking AND horses? All the enemies at once!

---

Chuffy: sickened, -1DEX
Mogmurch: sickened
Poog: sickened, -1DEX
Reta: 2hp
Rita: 5hp, -3DEX

Poog snaps a wicked glare at chuffy, smugly standing on the ship after having whipped the wasps nest. He doesn't take his eyes off of him as he slowly reaches for the brownish tube that fell out of the theiving goblin's pockets earlier. He unstoppers the cork, and swallows the potion, whatever it is, all the while his glare getting narrower.

Without warning, Poog snaps his fingers and a firebolt zips towards the plucky rogue, hitting the wood beneath his feet.

"Next one burns Chuffy's pimples off." he says dryly, and slowly.

Poog then turns towards the sound of the barking dog and makes to take a step forward. The poison in his veins makes him feel clumsy, and he promptly falls on his face in the mud.

After getting back up, he determinedly moves towards the sound of the dog, pulling one of his javelins out in case he needs to throw it.

Edit: Should be Poog in your list with the -3 dex...

Eager to breathe more fire, Rita joins Poog as they track down their most hated rival, the dogs of Golarion. She draws her dogslicer, as well, running her finger along the edge as she stalks closer, giggling.

Poog pounds the potion down, which seems to answer the question of where bears defecate. He feel much more robust afterwards, but it does nothing to help how clumsy he now feels.

Rita moves up behind Poog.
Will move on after everyone has had the chance to have an action.

Reta licks the fresh blood off of her blade, "Taste a bit iron-ie. Good, but dog be better."

"Then let's kill and eat Vorka..." Reta mumbles, a fire lit behind her eyes as she steps to the others spreading a devious grin.

"Haw haw haw!" Chuffy veritably rolls around on the ground before getting up and wiping tears of laughter from his face. The little goblin seems not to have noticed the wasp stings amongst his other pussy protrusions.

"Youse shoulda seen youse!" he wheezes when the laughing subsides, "Slapping at face and jumping up and down! Poogie, you such a fraidy dog. Just tiny bugsies! Haw haw haw!"

The sound of barking sobers Chuffy up, and he quickly downs a red, beefy smelling potion before cozying up to the mast and trying to stay quiet and hidden from the dog.

Chuffy stealth, sickened: 1d20 + 16 - 2 ⇒ (3) + 16 - 2 = 17

The main deck of the shipwreck is cluttered with objects both natural and artificial. Thick swaths of leafy vines grow over the deck, and shiny green patches of algae and moss grow where the vines do not. The central cabin's roof has a wide edge, creating a canopied walkway along the ship's sides. A flight of steps up to the roof of the ship's main cabin, the entrance to which is blocked by a door decorated by a large number of rodent and bird skulls. A smoking stovepipe chimney extends up from the ship's highest point above.

Chuffy gulps down the potion, and the muscles on his spindly arms instantly puff up (potion of bull's strength). As Chuffy rushes up, bravery at an all time high, he sees the source of the barking. A mangy dog, straining at the end of a frayed rope, is trying to get to him. It looks like the rope could snap at any time. You all also hear another dog on the other side of the boat, and some barking upstairs.

Reta, Rita, and Poog are up.

"Cook dog, cook dog, cook dog!!!" Rita scampers forward gleefully, trying to find the source of the barking. Seeing one of the hated dogs, she breathes out her last gout of flame at the mutt. Being the last dose, it kind of sputters a bit at the end.

Flame Breath: 4d6 ⇒ (1, 4, 1, 1) = 7

Well s*@!.

dog reflex save: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (18) + 3 = 21
Well, at least it burns through the rope!

The foul beast yips as the gouts of flame hit it. The smell of burning fur fills the air. Then, the dog realizes that the tautness of the rope is no longer holding him back!

Reta and Poog are up!

Drunk with power Chuffy flexes his muscles and snarls at the dog, brandishing his dogslicer.

"Chuffy face new enemy,
But he strong now as can be!
Sure as Poogie can't ride hog,
Chuffy gonna kill this dog! "

Reta runs forward and presses herself, and her gigantic head, against wall of the vessel. Because of her oversized brain, she knows she cannot reach either dog and attack at the same time, which would leave her vulnerable. Instead, she instead decides to wait for the vile, disgusting beast hiding to the north to approach, so she can cut it down.

move action: moved 10 feet

Poog is in delay
Rita sees a very large frog hopping towards her. It looks at her with a look of hunger.

Mogmurch is up, Poog is in delay.

Sorry! I don't know how this got lost in my list...

I'm finally going to get my dog!

Poog moves as far as as he can to get close to the dog on the north side of the ship, and releases a bolt of fire at the dog, his dog slicer at the ready.

fire bolt, divine favor, ranged touch: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (1) + 4 = 5 for fire damage: 1d6 + 1 ⇒ (3) + 1 = 4

-Posted with Wayfinder

And Poog still hasn't gotten his dog! Don't forget the sickened condition, folks!

Morgmurch still up.

"Chuffy good to race and go,
Mogmurch fart and be too slow.
When me get to kill this dog?
May sit down and rest on log."

Chuffy continues to make up Rhymes while taunting the dog in front of him by turning around, dripping his pants a little and slapping his pimply butt (and spraying puss everywhere).

Sorry... just wanted to "bump" the thread and that little rhyme popped into my head.

Morgurch rummages in his 'belt pouch', and pulls out an extract of shield. Whining to himself about being out of 'boom booms', he gulps it down.

The dog on the south side of the boat runs up to Rita, and tries to bite her.
Dog bite!: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (5) + 2 = 7
Sadly for the mutt, it misses.

rope burst: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (17) + 1 = 18
The mutt on the north then breaks free of its rope, and bites at Chuffy.
Dog bite!: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (13) + 2 = 15
It also fails to bite. Poor doggie.

Chuffy is up, then Reta, Rita, and Poog.