At least you're not doomed to spend hundreds of years in horrid unlife trapped in a 10'x10' room in some a*###$#'s tower, all because you did the brick work for the pit with spikes at the bottom.
Is it when someone hands you a big f#@+ing box of fireworks and tells you not to light it off.
Per state law, please wait until you are at least 300' away from my store's property line before igniting your purchases. Thank you for not killing everything in a quarter mile radius. Have a nice day.
Is it when someone hands you a big f#@+ing box of fireworks and tells you not to light it off.
Per state law, please wait until you are at least 300' away from my store's property line before igniting your purchases. Thank you for not killing everything in a quarter mile radius. Have a nice day.
I've had a hell of a lot of jobs over the past decade or so. I'm an ex- camp counselor, ex- library page, ex- box stacker, ex- loading dock operator, ex- delivery driver, ex- oil change tech, and ex- tape archivist, currently working as a freelance illustrator & graphic designer, handyman, apprentice electrician, and rock musician.
So, in all likelihood, the world's most poorly-optimized level 1 Bard with a level or two of Expert. Truly a jack of most trades and master of f&!@-all.
I've had a hell of a lot of jobs over the past decade or so. I'm an ex- camp counselor, ex- library page, ex- box stacker, ex- loading dock operator, ex- delivery driver, ex- oil change tech, and ex- tape archivist, currently working as a freelance illustrator & graphic designer, handyman, apprentice electrician, and rock musician.
So, in all likelihood, the world's most poorly-optimized level 1 Bard with a level or two of Expert. Truly a jack of most trades and master of f&$$-all.
The Worst Bard:
NG male human bard 1 / expert 2 (favored class: bard)
Str 11 Dex 14 Con 7 Int 15 Wis 10 Cha 9
Saves: Fort -2 Ref +4 Will +4 HP: 14 (3d8 - 6 + 3)
AC: 12 (+2 Dex) CMB: +1 CMD: 13
Base Attack: +1 Initiative: +2 Speed: 30/30 feet
Feats: Fast Learner, Skill Focus (Perform (string instruments))
Traits & Drawbacks: Student of Philosophy (use Int instead of Cha on some Diplomacy and Bluff checks), Aspiring Bard (+1 to one Perform skill, +2 to Knowledge (local) dealing with the local music scene), Doubt (after failing a skill check, -4 to that skill for 1 hour), Fey-Taken (-2 to saves vs. disease, illusions, poison, as well as the spells, spell-like abilities, and supernatural abilities of fey)
Attack: light crossbow +3 ranged (1d8, 19-20/x2, 80 ft, P)
Spells per day: (Charisma not high enough to cast spells)
Gear: 40 gp, clothing, light crossbow, crossbow bolts (5), masterwork lute, backpack, rusty hammer, large flask of cheap whiskey, small bag of nails, parchment (10 sheets), quill pen, vial of ink (1), cigarillos (8) (dipped in bloodbrush extract), small bag of tindertwigs, 1 copy "The King In Yellow," 1 copy "History and Future of Humanity" (translation)
I was either a monk or fighter with the brawler archetype (I used to teach martial arts); but now I've multi classed into expert with ranks in profession: lawyer.
A guy who keeps the magical formulae for scribing a spell scroll that will turn the corpse of the person specifically named in the spell into a pile of gold coins?
Oh, and also teaches oratory and rhetoric to the new initiates at the local bardic college.
It doesn't sound like wills... wills would be for deciding who gets the dead persons money NOT for selling the body itself. Maybe he works for a place that sells organs for transplant?
It doesn't sound like wills... wills would be for deciding who gets the dead persons money NOT for selling the body itself. Maybe he works for a place that sells organs for transplant?
I work for a life insurance company in their operations support/service center.
The second part was my part-time teaching gig at the local community college.
Profession: Language Analyst for the military
Equivalent: Bard? Maybe? I don't know. Maybe a level 4 commoner with max ranks is linguistics and one rank in profession: soldier.
Arcanist/Technomancer. Decent SysAdmin with an infrastructure focus, having to scrape by on what the Technic League/my company lets me have access to, not matter what aspirations I might have for something more.