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I just want to see what people can come up with in terms of creative curses. They don't have to be cruel or mechanically beneficial just creative. Here's 3 poor ones to start you off with.
1) Licks a lot: The target becomes only able to identify beings by how they taste when licked or nibbled on.
2) Cobweb Face: No matter how careful they are or where they are at least once per level per day they will walk face first in a big spidersweb.
3) On the shoulders of giants: The caster picks an event in the targets past that everything gets compared negatively to. For example when told his son stopped the resurrection of an ancient sinlord and prevented an invasion the father shall gripe "Sure but he ain't done nothing to help out at the farm since he milked that cow in 1107" and everyone including the messenger shall agree that use really compared to that beating a sinlord is pretty meaningless and he should milk another cow like that instead.
4) Aversion to a common pest such as rats or snakes.
The character must stay at least 20ft away from their aversion or become shaken so long as it is within range. If their aversion attacks and scores a critical hit they become panicked for 1 round.
5) Excessive Flatulence:
Every time the victim exerts his strength, makes a strength check, uses a skill that uses strength, or makes an attack, he passes gas. This is noticeable by anyone within 10'. Everyone within that 10' must make a Fort save DC (victims level or HD) or be Sickened for 1 round.
6)Rapid hair growth: the victim's hair grows at 30 times it's normal rate. Rather than needing a haircut once/month they must instead shear their locks every day. If this is ignored the victim is permanently considered Entangled.
8.) Clumsy Strength: Your Strength increases by 2 for the purposes of damaging with melee weapons, but every time you roll a natural 1 on your melee attack roll, you must immediately attempt to sunder your own weapon (provoking an AoO, as the sunder action).
If you want the curse to be even worse, you could have that attempt ignore hardness. Obviously, don't bother casting such a curse against a monk or brawler. It would be pretty awful for a magus though.
9) Black Steps: Everywhere the cursed character goes he leaves a trail of big black footprints as if he had walked through ink or paint. The footprints fade away slowly over the course of a day.
10) Blood On Your Hands: The cursed character's hands are constantly covered in blood. If the blood is washed off it returns in 2d6 rounds.
11. Curse of Funny Footwear: Your shoelaces are always tangling together. (No 5' steps, no running, reduce land movement speed by 10'.) Maybe the character can avoid this curse by going barefoot -- or maybe if he does so, his toenails start growing uncomfortably long, with similar effects.
12. Curse of Buzzing Flies: Numerous clouds of big black horseflies surround the character. This makes both stealth and careful observation difficult for them (-2 to Stealth and Perception rolls.) Throw in an occasional save for filth fever if you want to be nasty.
13. Hair grows at the rate of 2'/day, and comes out in different colors -- always the color least favored by the people you're currently travelling among (e.g., if they hate blondes your hair is golden; if they enslave redheads it's gorgeous crimson; etc....)
14) The Glowy Curse:
The victim glows whenever trying to be stealthy. This is undetectable by the victim, but blatantly obvious to any sighted creature. The victim is the permanent target of a Glitterdust spell without the blindness.
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15) No vocal modulation: the victim of this curse has no ability to modulate the sound of their voice. They alternate between shouting or whispering or no sound at all at complete random. Spellcasting with verbal components carries a base 20% penalty and all Charisma-based skills requiring vocalization suffer a -4 penalty as well
16) Lack of internal monologue: the victim says whatever's on their mind, all the time. If they're lying once they finish the lie they'll announce they're lying. If a pretty girl walks by and the victim is attracted to her all of the thoughts pertaining to the attraction are verbalized as they happen. The victim must make a Will save (DC the same as the curse) every time they try to hold back their thoughts. If suffering any condition there is no chance for the save.
17) Gnats: everywhere the victim goes a cloud of harmless gnats follows them. The insects are a Figment illusion permanently affixed to the victim for the duration of the curse. The victim suffers the Distracted condition. As well all other creatures receive Partial Concealment from the victim.
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18) Uncontrollable kidneys: target of this curse is unable to control the flow of it's body functions. Each hour, target needs 1d3 rounds to quickly relieve himself or becomes jumpy and nervous which acts as a jitterbugs spell. Alternatively, target can relieve himself on the spot as a full-round action. Depending with who the target communicates, target might also suffer -2 penalty on Charisma checks due to terrible odor.
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19) Curse of gibberish: The target's attempts to communicate are garbled, but may still contain a hint of the message the target is trying to convey. Whenever the target speaks or writes, anyone listening or reading must make a DC 15 Linguistics check or a DC 25 Sense Motive check to interpret the target, as though he were using the Bluff skill to pass a secret message.
20) Curse of withered hands, ALL actions require a roll of 20% or better to avoid dropping whatever is held in the hand for that action (somatic spells fail, material spells only lose the action).
21) Curse of wandering tongue, Each standard action of speech the character must roll 20% or better to avoid speaking in one of their languages known that they did not intend to speak.
22) Sunlight curse, victim has a 20% chance each hour (or the first time seeing the sun after 8 hours) of being blinded by a light within their retinas, save vs curse DC fail become blinded and their eyes act as candle light even when closed (for 1 minute), succeed become dazzled (1 minute).
23) Goblin dog cough, each day 5% chance of becoming infected with a randomly selected disease from a spectral goblin dog coughing on you at the minute of cursing, on 5% or less automatically fail initial save.
24) Curse of dampness, your clothes and belongings are constantly damp, drying or heating removes dampness for 2d6 rounds. Dampness cannot be used for drinking water as it vanishes before it can be consumed satisfactorily. GM discretion as to effects of discomfort.
25) Curse of dropped change, at the start of each day roll 1d20 to determine how many coppers have accidentally fallen from the victims pockets and become lost. If the victim has no coppers use next coin up through platinum (number of coins, not number of copper value). If the victim has no coins then each time they come within 5ft of an ally the ally loses 1d20 copper.
26) Curse of foreign coins, victim reverses their perceived value of coins (copper = Platinum, Silver = Gold), will vs DC of curse to see coins as they truly are for that single transaction (or looting event), otherwise believe that coppers look like platinum, platinum looks like copper, silver looks like gold, and gold looks like silver.
29: curse of the 12.99 : no shop will give him change back and demand exect sum for trading. anytmie he need to count more then 7 coins he get confused and have to recount. (will save of 10+ 2X the number of coins he counted, with each new coin to count)
30: delayed magic buffer : any spell or magical effect (such as from a potion) cast on him, benefficial or not must roll past sr of 15+curse castr level or have it's effect acure 1d12 hours + 1d30 minutes + 1d10 rounds later.
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31: Tempest Tossed - This sodden fellow spied on the priestesses of the god(dess) of the sea and storms practicing their rites 'sky-clad' (i.e. nude), and was cursed to have a permanent 5 ft. storm cloud above his head whenever he is out of doors. The effects of wind and rain on him, and anyone else sharing his space, give him a -2 to all attacks and skill checks. If he dares to go outside during a thunderstorm, he has 5% chance per round to be struck by a weak lightning bolt for 1d6 nonlethal damage.
32: Love the Sun - This thief attempted to rob the temple of the sun-god(dess), and was cursed to always be in bright sunlight. Outside, a beam of sunlight comes down upon him from the sky (even when it is overcast, or in the middle of the night), but even indoors, he is always illumined as if by faerie fire, although he provides no illumination to anyone outside of his square. Stealth, needless to say, is no longer much of an option for him, although he does benefit from a +2 to Fortitude checks to avoid nonlethal damage from environmental cold (and a corresponding -2 penalty to Fortitude checks to avoid nonlethal damage from environmental heat...).
33: Hell's Brand - An evil priest has marked you with a visible brand that he can activate as a swift action whenever he is within 100 ft. of you, causing you to suffer 1d6 nonlethal fire damage and intense pain that sickens you for 1 round. He uses it to boss you around and torment you at his leisure.
34: Commandment - You have been cursed so that each day that you do not make an active attempt to further some goal stated at the cursing, you suffer pain leaving you sickened all day long. As long as you move towards the goal selected for you, or take action to advance it, the pain subsides and you are unpenalized. This 'quest' has to be attainable, but can certainly be ridiculously hard... ("Collect the seven shards of the sundered Topaz of Tybalt!")
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35) A pigeon or other Diminutive bird perches on your head or shoulder, frequently defecating on it and squawking annoyingly in your ear. If slain or threatened enough to make it fly away (standard action), another bird flies to your shoulder 2d6 rounds later.
36) A brightly colored macaw perches on your head, shoulder, or pack. The bird mimics your every word in a mocking tone, bestowing a 20% chance of spell failure when casting spells with a verbal component. When most inconvenient, the bird will mimic your voice and mix previously stated phrases to say embarrassing or incriminating things. This bestows -4 penalty to Charisma checks and Charisma-based skill checks. If slain or threatened, the macaw screams bloody murder before dying or flying away only to return 2d6 rounds later. Creatures within 30 feet of the scream must succeed on a DC 15 Fortitude save or become deafened for 1 hour. Creatures within 5 feet of the macaw take a -4 penalty on this save.
37) You gain incurable hiccups for the duration of the curse. You take a -4 penalty on attack rolls and Strength-based and Dexterity-based skill checks as the flurry of hiccups disrupts your motor skills. The hiccups cause spells with verbal components to have a 50% chance of failing.
28) Curse of that damn bird: Cast on a cart or other overland conveyance this curse lies dormant until a creature defecates on it at which point a maximised, empowered anus seeking lightning bolt (caster level 20th) is triggered aimed at the creature responsible.
I can't seem to find the Anus Seeking metamagic feat. What book is that from?
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38. The Burden of Greed: Upon removing any treasure from the room bearing this curse, the victim begins growing fatter with each step they take until their weight has approximately tripled by the time they reach the dungeon's exit. Weight gained from the curse cannot be lost through any amount of diet or exercise until the treasure is returned to the room or the curse is broken by a more powerful caster. Subjects who attempt to "cheat" the curse by teleporting out of the dungeon get a nasty surprise upon arrival, instantly ballooning to six times their initial weight (effectively doubling the effect of the curse).
39. A Permanent Mask of Mud: This sticky, purple green-brown mask of mud cannot be washed off, no matter how much soap is used. The mask soils the victim's hair as well, to the point where it almost seems black regardless of its original color. People who see the victim are automatically repulsed by his/her filthy appearance.
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40) Kobold's Eye: the victim of this curse is afflicted with Light Sensitivity as their eyes become draconic in appearance only
41) Mite's Eye: the victim of this curse is afflicted with Light Blindness as their eyes become pale, bloodshot and bulge as do the eyes of the fey for whom the curse is named
42) Brittletooth: the teeth of the victim become weak and unreliable for anything other the soft foods or liquids. Any critical hit with a Bludgeoning weapon or any damage sustained from a Force effect, fall or similar source causes 1d4 teeth to fall out. As well any food ingested by the food must either be pre-chewed or be in at least a semi-solid state or it cannot be consumed. Charisma based checks are all made at a base -2 penalty with an additional -2 for every 8 teeth lost by the victim. Bite attacks while affected by this curse automatically fail and cause the loss of 1d4 teeth.
43) Clockwork Orange: any time the victim of this curse enters combat they must make a Will save equal to the DC of the original curse. Failure means that the victim is Sickened for the duration of the combat.
44) Toad's Tongue: the victim's tongue swells and grows sticky at the end. For the duration of the curse the victim feels an uncontrollable urge to consume insects. When in the presence of common insects or the Vermin monster type their tongue reacts of its own volition darting out of the victim's mouth to snare prey regardless of size. This action causes the victim to initiate a grapple with the creature in question; this causes an attack of opportunity unless the victim possesses feats or abilities to negate this. The involuntary grapple attempts by the tongue continue until the object of the grapple is at least partially if not fully consumed by the victim. Finally victims of this curse suffer a 20% Spell Failure penalty on all spells with a Verbal component.
45) Viletongue: the victim of this curse inexplicably insults or offends anyone they speak to. Obscenities, hostile oaths or mundane curses find their way into the most common conversations. Any time the victim uses speech as part of a Free action or a skill check of any kind they run the risk of causing the Antagonized condition in any one listener. Unless only one listener is present the GM chooses a listener at random and the victim of the Viletongue skill makes either a Diplomacy or Intimidate check against the listener with a +8 bonus. The DC of this check is 10 plus the listener's level + Wisdom bonus. If the victim of the curse succeeds in their check the listener is Antagonized. This curse's effect does not cause attacks of opportunity.
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35) A pigeon or other Diminutive bird perches on your head or shoulder, frequently defecating on it and squawking annoyingly in your ear. If slain or threatened enough to make it fly away (standard action), another bird flies to your shoulder 2d6 rounds later.
36) A brightly colored macaw perches on your head, shoulder, or pack. The bird mimics your every word in a mocking tone, bestowing a 20% chance of spell failure when casting spells with a verbal component. When most inconvenient, the bird will mimic your voice and mix previously stated phrases to say embarrassing or incriminating things. This bestows -4 penalty to Charisma checks and Charisma-based skill checks. If slain or threatened, the macaw screams bloody murder before dying or flying away only to return 2d6 rounds later. Creatures within 30 feet of the scream must succeed on a DC 15 Fortitude save or become deafened for 1 hour. Creatures within 5 feet of the macaw take a -4 penalty on this save.
37) You gain incurable hiccups for the duration of the curse. You take a -4 penalty on attack rolls and Strength-based and Dexterity-based skill checks as the flurry of hiccups disrupts your motor skills. The hiccups cause spells with verbal components to have a 50% chance of failing.
28) Curse of that damn bird: Cast on a cart or other overland conveyance this curse lies dormant until a creature defecates on it at which point a maximised, empowered anus seeking lightning bolt (caster level 20th) is triggered aimed at the creature responsible.I can't seem to find the Anus Seeking metamagic feat. What book is that from?
Its not a metamagic it's a designed variant of the lightning bolt that refines the homing function of magic missile to not just hit the target but hit the target in a specific area. Anus seeking is what it does I.e. Target the area of the bird, bat, etc that was just used to crap on my cart.
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49) Curse of the gluttonous, the victim must consume twice the normal amount of food or become sickened until the next meal, if there is a more expensive meal available when they are eating, they must eat 4 times as much of the lower value food, or eat twice as much of the more expensive meal or become sickened.
50) Curse of sundering, whenever the victim strikes with a wooden haft weapon there is a chance that it dries and fractures on impact halving the damage dealt and sundering the weapon (or doing sunder damage of the weapon to magical weapons) 20% chance.
51) Curse of wandering knowledge, a victims knowledge check is made using a randomly selected bonus from the list instead of the intended (linguistics included). If the victim rolls for a KNOW they are not trained it, it counts as not trained for their intended check (eg, victim has +4 KNOW Arcane, rolls on table for arcane check, lands on nobility which is untrained, counts as untrained for arcane).
52) Curse of toad skin, victim must keep their skin moist or damp or risk it splitting and dealing 1d6 nonlethal damage that cannot heal until the skin is hydrated again. Skin must be watered hourly.
53) Curse of mules burden, all items carried and used by the victim count as weighing twice as much as normal, this does not affect the item, merely the effects of weight on the victim. If the victim reduces their load below medium, they take on the aspects of a mule and reduce all charisma checks by -4 until they regain a medium load or greater.
(54) Curse of Unwarranted Advice: Every time an ally takes a turn, the target has a 15% chance of wasting their next turn explaining to the ally what they *should* have done instead. Multiple allies acting in a round all cause checks, up to 3 allies.
(55) "May a crazed holy man set fire to your nose hairs!" Random dude has a 5% chance to pop up whenever you are interacting in combat or during skill checks. Limit to a once/day interruption. The interruption is the holy man casting a sacred miracle singing your nose-hairs. The effect is a heightened (to ninth level) Flare in your face (it's distracting). He them teleports back to whatever monastery/hermitage he came from.
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58. Have to talk like a Pirate.
closely related to the classic:
59. Have to talk in rhyme.
obviously both curses are most fun when the player is forced to deal with the curse even in OOC table talk.
Cursed PC's Player "Hey, does the door appear locked?"
GM: "I can't hear you."
Cursed PC's Player "..."
Cursed PC's Player "The door, present before me: Locked, seem it be?"
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60. Curse of the running gag. A bane to merchants, every time they put their wares up on display a group of adventurers running by topples and/or destroys them, forcing the merchant to move away and restart there, only to have it happen all over again.
(I.E. "My Cabbages!")
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61. Antigravity Throat: All liquid flows uphill when within 1' of the character's mouth. Ingesting any liquid as less than a full-round action demands a DC 12 Dexterity check or DC 20 Sleight of Hand check.
62. Northern Exposure: Every so often, a belligerent moose just comes out of nowhere and attempts to bull rush and trample the character before continuing on its way.
63. Throat of the Superhero: Character...cursed!...No cure...in sight...must narrate...actions...in the imperative...must...talk...like...this!
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64. Jacobs' Polysyllabic Utterance
While suffering from the effects of this curse, you must rename all of your spells (prepared or spontaneous) in the most over-the-top fancypants style you can. (For example, "Snorbicus's Scintillating Slammer" will do when "Magic Missile" would not.) You must spend a swift action to should the spell's new name in addition to whatever other action(s) you need to cast the spell.
If you happen to be a martial character, you have to rename your basic attacks; if you are a formula caster, you have to rename all your formulae.
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65) Curse of negative conclusion jumping: whoever the subject of this curse speaks to must make two will saves DC 15. If they fail the first one they will interpret whatever has been said in the worst possible light, if they fail the second one they will interperupt with 3 or 4 words having lept to a conclusion about what is being said regardless of how inaccurate it is and not listen to any explanations of what is actually being said.