| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
Insulting Doll: Doll of Random Insults: Minor Cursed Item. Appears to be a Doll of Random Phrases, but whenever you attempt to speak you say one of the dolls insults in the language of the person you are speaking to (or if speaking to multiple persons, a common language or language the majority know) regardless of whether you could speak that language or not. Insults can include:
1. You smell like an Orc's backside.
2. I enjoyed sleeping with your significant other.
3. I will gladly befoul the temple of your god.
Will save to resist DC 23. Can only get rid of the doll via a Remove Curse, Limited Wish, Wish or by selling it to someone who knows exactly what it is and knows what will happen when it comes into their possession for more than 1000 GP.
So. Here's the place where you dream up a bunch of insults that this doll can say!
| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
4. If your nose were any bigger you'd need to consult the Weapon Size Increases table for it.
5. You're stupid. Okay, let me rephrase that. (emphasizing every syllable) YOU... ARE... STUPID.
6. I heard you were outsmarted by the green slime two rooms over. Congratulations.
| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
7. (A Classic) Your father was a hamster and your mother smelled of elderberries!
8. If it looks like an idiot, it probably is one. And you, sir, look like an idiot.
| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
9. Your father was a kobolds rump and your mother spent most of her days up agianst cave walls with goblins.
10. You animal droppings whopperr
11. Empty headed knnnniggits
12. Shall i hold up a mirror? With your face i'm sure it'll break.
13. My name is Talking Tina, and I'm going to kill you.
14. Are you feeling alright? Because you look like $#?+. I mean like serious $#?+.
15. I'm sure you're not as dumb as you look. I mean, you couldn't possibly be.
16. You're about as smart as a milk sandwich.
17. [redacted for being too modern]
| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
18. Whoa did something die in here? Oh that's just you.
19. Thou hast more hair than wit, and more faults than hairs, and more wealth than faults.
19. Thou hast more hair than wit, and more faults than hairs, and more wealth than faults.
Lemme guess, Shakespearean insults?
Lemme guess, Shakespearean insults?19. Thou hast more hair than wit, and more faults than hairs, and more wealth than faults.
Got it in one.
Got it in one.Lemme guess, Shakespearean insults?19. Thou hast more hair than wit, and more faults than hairs, and more wealth than faults.
I used to have a list for those. You took one word from each column. Believe it or not, one of my high school english teachers gave it to us. lol
| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
20. If an ogrekin mated with a goblin, you yes you, would be the result.
21. She's not with you for your looks, cause seriously, that's not possible in a million years.
22. You might be bigger than a halfling, but their ears are bigger than your brain.
23. You're an ogre in the streets, and a halfling in the sheets.
I'm curious. Would a tongues curse that only lets you speak in a specific language when in a combat situation affect this? Probably only after the first insult; but I want to know for sure.
Nope, because it's not really the pc talking, it's the Doll. :)
lol
24. So. When did you get run over by a caravan train? You didn't? Oh. Easy mistake to make.
Hehe. Now imagine that in combination with this evil doll who won't let you say the magic word? :D
25. Your mother tells me you lack in moral character and your father won't speak of you to his friends.
26. Your interpersonal failings are understandable considering your relationship with your father and ex-husband.
27. When they said you were your own cousin, I didn't think they were serious!
32. My dog has more braincells than you do, yes you're that dumb.
| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
33. Who dressed you? You're obviously not smart enough to do it yourself.
34. Last time I met someone as ugly as you, they were a zombie.
35. Wow, when they were making lines regarding elegant noses, you were back in the line weren't you.
37. Finally some intelligent conversation. Oh i was talking to myself.
38. This is the quality of adventurers now? They really are scraping the bottom of the barrel.
39. You play stupid so well. Oh wait thats just how you are.
40. Kill them all and let Pharasma sort em' out.