100 things the villain is doing when 'scrying' is cast on him

[snickersimba]

408.Baking cookies for the pesants after taking over the world

[Liranys]

409: Drawing from the Deck of Many things .
410. Forcing minions to draw from the Deck of Many things and giggling maniacally.

[Randarak]

411. Shaving rats and using the hair to make small wigs for them.
412. Fishing into the sewers for otyughs, and using small animals as bait on the line.
413. Using CAD software on a computer to design his next secret lair.
414. Sitting in a support group with other villains from famous literature and media.
415. Playing keyboards for a band at a kid's party.
416. Practicing his villainous retorts in front of a mirror, so it looks as if he is looking right at you.

[haruhiko88]

417. Having a meet and greet with some of his newest minions families, wife child, etc.
418. Maniacally laughing while poking something in a fire before pulling out some kind of meat and placing it on a plate. (comic: while wearing a kiss the cook apron.)

[Chyrone]

419. Putting down minions who were empowered by the Deck of Many Things.
(comic: nope, nope, i liked you small.)

[Te'Shen]

Spoilered for Unnecessarity.:

Tigger_mk4 wrote:

. . .

93. Watching a sports event (baseball, cricket, etc...)
94 participating in a sports event ("and now, up to bat' is..."). Potentially includes gladiatorial stuff.
95. Judging a competition (comic - they get an image of simon cowell)

Succubi MMA fights... Between a higher CMD than expected and DR, fights would take a while. It also has the benefits of eye candy.

Darigaaz the Igniter wrote:

104) Standing perfectly still and glaring at the sensor. He holds the same pose and always faces the sensor no matter what direction it looks at him from. This is actually an illusion designed for just such a thing. (Comic: said illusion is flipping the scry sensor off)

lucky7 wrote:

173. Bathing.

Combine the two. Your scrying is redirected to an image that hypnotizes viewers, like a bathing nymph or a bathing succubus...

Insufferable Smartypants wrote:

. . .

239. Watching porn with his evil girlfriend.
. . . .

He either summons his girlfriend via planar binding or they watch some bound planar creatures... perform.

Icyshadow wrote:

337. Having "fun" with a succubus.

. . . .

I was already reading in succubi into so many answers that I think my brain may be damaged. I blame Lamontius.

[Loren Pechtel]

Te'Shen wrote:

** spoiler omitted **

Where do you get the notion that a bathing succubus has any special effect on viewers?

And the nymph will either blind or do nothing, not hypnotize. (And it would take a pretty powerful illusion to blind the viewer if it even works on a scrier in the first place.)

[Freehold DM]

A succubus bathing a nymph would be...wonderful...

[Chyrone]

420. He'd be studying a succubus in a grapple on the spot.

[Raphael Valen]

421. Doing the Robot with a bunch of androids

[Sissyl]

422. Reading a bedtime story to his little brats, sounding like it's a book he's read way, way, WAY too many times.

[Threeshades]

423. Dungeon crawling. All those levels for the final bossfight have to come from somewhere!

[Chyrone]

424. Playing D&D with his fellow villains.

[Te'Shen]

Loren Pechtel wrote:

Where do you get the notion that a bathing succubus has any special effect on viewers?

And the nymph will either blind or do nothing, not hypnotize. (And it would take a pretty powerful illusion to blind the viewer if it even works on a scrier in the first place.)

It's a high level divination counter with an enchantment rider built in. I'm sorry if you took issue to my thematic joking.

If I'm going to build in a fascinate/hypnotism effect, my inner... my... I think making it someone REALLY pretty works. For some of us in the real world, it doesn't even take a magical effect.

Your mileage may vary...

[Te'Shen]

Chyrone wrote:

424. Playing D&D with his fellow villains.

*Steeples Fingers* Excellent.

[Molten Dragon]

425. GM-ing wrath of the righteous AP for his fellow villains. It's an all lawful good party of clerics and paladins.

[Lathiira]

426. Imperiling a damsel. Visible beside him is his notice of renewal for his evil villain license. (Comic version: And she's enjoying it.)

[DungeonmasterCal]

427. Watching sadly as all his torture chamber equipment is being repossessed for missing payments on it.

[Bill Lumberg]

428. Tapping his foot impatiently and checking a train schedule then looking at his watch while he stands next to a damsel who is tied to the tracks.

[Chyrone]

429. Walking into a holding cell, along with a flying torture orb, about to interrogate a captured princess.

[Lathiira]

430. Being attacked and beaten badly by a princess he just attempted to kidnap.

[GM Xabulba]

431. Fapping to ithilid pron.

[strayshift]

432. Practicing his dance moves while a captive bard plays.
433. Interrogating the bard as to the best chat up lines to impress one of the PCs. These still sound like maniacal expositional monologues.
434. Mooning over a picture of one of the PC's and bemoaning that they are 'just misunderstood'.
435. Creating illusions of one of the pcs and pretending to be engaging in idyllic everyday scenarios such as eating a meal.
434. Trying to create a golem that looks like one of the pcs for above purpose.

[Jaelithe]

strayshift wrote:

432. Practicing his dance moves while a captive bard plays.

433. Interrogating the bard as to the best chat up lines to impress one of the PCs. These still sound like maniacal expositional monologues.
434. Mooning over a picture of one of the PC's and bemoaning that they are 'just misunderstood'.
435. Creating illusions of one of the pcs and pretending to be engaging in idyllic everyday scenarios such as eating a meal.
434. Trying to create a golem that looks like one of the pcs for above purpose.

Not only is there a common theme, here, but you've begun a countdown as well. :)

[Bill Lumberg]

437. Karaoke!

[Dreaming Psion]

438. Throwing darts at a picture of his most hated enemy, one of the PCs
Comic version: Throwing darts at a picture of his most hated enemy, the PCs hireling torchboy (first level commoner).

[Dreaming Psion]

439. Animating some skeletons
Comic version: Animating Mr. Skullhead.
(The first would probably be a Good Idea, the latter a Bad Idea. In fact, that's kinda how I imagine this thread- with the narrator of the Good Idea/Bad Idea Animaniacs segment saying "Serious Version", "Comic Version"

[Randarak]

440. Refereeing a Succubus, Nymph, Dryad, Nereid pudding wrestling match.

[Liranys]

441. Reenacting the "Pottery scene" from Ghost.

[Randarak]

...with Patrick Swayze...

[Chyrone]

442. Doing a Yo Momma match

[Liranys]

443. Two words: Dance Off

[Randarak]

444. Writing on a blackboard with chalk, "I've been very naughty" an excessive number of times.

[Shadowborn]

445. The hag is receiving her monthly exfoliation treatment, administered by her ogre servants.

[Liranys]

446. Same as 444 only with paper and a pen a la Harry Potter. Ouch.

[DungeonmasterCal]

447. Trying on costumes for Halloween that look suspiciously like the party's paladin.

[Randarak]

448. Sitting on a park bench, tossing food to the ducks...

Clarification: pelting the ducks with cans of food.

[Liranys]

Randarak wrote:

448. Sitting on a park bench, tossing food to the ducks...

Clarification: pelting the ducks with cans of food.

449: Alternately, Poisoning Pigeons in the Park...

[Randarak]

Don't you practice your alliteration on me!

[Liranys]

Randarak wrote:

Don't you practice your alliteration on me!

It's a song by John Cheese (I think) lol

[Chyrone]

450. Singing he never wanted to become a villain......he had the dream to become....A LUMBERJACK!!

[Randarak]

451. Stares right at the scrying individual, saying, "Do you mind?! This is my private chamber!!"

And then closes a curtain, blocking the view.

[Laurefindel]

452. Filling a "dungeon digging permit" application form issued by the Ministry of Evil Overlords.

453. Interviewing the new "interns", and questioning the legitimacy of their references.

454. Petitioning a new grant for the new "Devil Labour Plan" in the nine hells.

[Shadowborn]

Liranys wrote:

Randarak wrote:

Don't you practice your alliteration on me!

It's a song by John Cheese (I think) lol

Tom Lehrer, actually.

[Liranys]

Shadowborn wrote:

Liranys wrote:

Randarak wrote:

Don't you practice your alliteration on me!

It's a song by John Cheese (I think) lol

Tom Lehrer, actually.

That's right! I get them all confused.

[Randarak]

455. Unpacking a number of mundane items (some of them of unusual size) from several wooden crates that have the word ACME emblazoned on the side, while referring to a large blue scroll that is not viewable by the scryer.

[Bill Lumberg]

466. The villain is in the final stages of crafting a magic item. He explains some of its lesser powers to a nearby assistant. Then he theatrically alludes to its major abilities and is about to detail them when the scrying spell expires.

[Archmage of Entropy]

456. Attempting to change an infant's diaper and nearly barfing
457. Attempting to get an underling to change his diaper while he sucks on a giant rattle

[Shadowborn]

TarkXT wrote:

147. Making out with the group paladin's girlfriend. (Comic: and his mother too!)

I'm grateful that someone had the presence of mind to do a variation of the "your mom!" joke so I didn't have to do it. Thanks, Tark.

[Te'Shen]

458. Tending an orphanage... oh, crap. I can't find a link.

(Ok... there was a Halloween or Evil build fiction competition on the WotC boards and a Psion 5/Thrallherd 10/Body Leech 5 used the children as mind switch targets if he died. He basically had rooms full of hostages that died if you killed him. It was horrible... horrible I tell you... just brilliantly and terribly horrible.)