100 things the villain is doing when 'scrying' is cast on him

[Lincoln Hills]

A bit in the GMG about rewarding scrying got me thinking about all the other things a villain could be caught doing whenever the PCs happen to gaze into their crystal ball or act like peeping toms in some other way. To avoid having the thread locked, I suggest that nobody post suggestions that would cause the MPAA to impose a PG-13 on the movie of the campaign; and if you're going to suggest a goofy possibility, put a more serious possiblity in so that anybody who steals the thread for a percentile table can choose drama or comedy.

01. Eavesdropping at a door.
02. Putting on shoes or boots (comic version: Buying new ones.)
03. Brooding on a parapet (comic version: hanging laundry out to dry.)
04. In the middle of killing some other, luckless band of heroes. Note: An excellent chance to observe the villain's combat tactics!
05. Surveying a map. (comic version: Or a menu.)

[ED-209]

06. Biological break in the middens.
07. Sleeping (comic version: clutching favorite plush-doll, preferably of one of the adventurers).
08. "Sleeping" with someone (comic version: their familiar).

[Tigger_mk4]

9. Weeding his garden
10. Having an injury tended
11. Practicing his skills (Comic: practicing his evil laugh)
12. Doing daily chores of some kind (comic : wearing a pinafore)
13. Reading a book
14. Bathing
15. Scrying on someone else

[Lord Foul II]

16. eating in his banquet hall (comic version: eating in a family style Italian restaurant)

[ED-209]

17. Chewing out underlings (comic version: being chewed out by underlings).
18. Scrying on the PCs (comic version: scrying on the PCs). (immature comic version: scrying on the PCs, with lewd camera angles).
19. Bickering with associates (comic version/demogorgon version: bickering with s/h/itself).

[andreww]

20. Entering the scrying PC's home disguised as a servant
21. Berating an underling for failing to destroy the PC's

[Porphyrogenitus]

13a. (comic version: reading the Evil Overlord List).

[ulgulanoth]

20- practising his evil speech/monologue
21- preping spells
22- eating a nice meal

[Ivan Rûski]

25. Yoga or meditating. (Possibly preparing his spells for the day?)
26. Training.
27. Executing an underling for failure. Possibly with comedic unconventional weapon.
28. Eating.
29. Being entertained by minstrel/dancer/jester. (Comedic: Singing kareoke. Badly.)

[Zwordsman]

30. Show the room the parties in
31. Tying his shoes (serious while reciting a spell or discussing his day plans)
32. Disco and karaoke
33. Making morning oatmeal(good time to attack or poison) (possibly eating oatmeal with an important paper in front, or spellcaster spell book giving knowledge of that days spells.)
34. Tae bo (best as an ood wizard type)
35. Talking to a cohort via a mirror (one sided convo)

[ED-209]

35a. (comic version: talking to himself via a mirror [two-sided convo])

[Tiny Coffee Golem]

36. In a house of ill repute.

[Lord Foul II]

ed 209. why did you post repeats?

[Arguecat]

Lord Foul II wrote:

ed 209. why did you post repeats?

He didn't.

[ED-209]

37. Horrifically torturing someone the PCs care about deeply (comic version: torturing someone who gets off on it deeply, Addams Family-style).

[aceDiamond]

38. Casting Detect Scrying. (Comic version: And proceeding to moon the PCs' sensor)
39. Grooming themselves. (Comic version: Singing into their hairbrush)

[Son of the Veterinarian]

40. Standing right behind them!

41. Removing his mask to reveal...no one the PCs have ever seen before.

42. Being killed by another group of heroes.

[Lincoln Hills]

43. Interviewing a new potential lieutenant. (comic version: Being eaten by a new potential lieutenant: congratulations, the campaign now has a new and even nastier BBEG.)

(Edit: Dang, Son of the Vet had almost the same idea - at almost the same moment.)

44. Observing a burning [insert one: captive, hut, village, planet] with deep satisfaction. (comic version: Accompanied by minions who are roasting sausages over the flames.)

45. Supervising the looting of a granary. (Comic version: Supervising the looting of the PCs' favorite Magic Shoppe oh god! the humanity! nooooo! of course you realize, this means war!)

[Bill Kirsch]

46. Summoning an outsider for information and/or service.
47. Lying in wait for his next victim horror movie style. They can watch the carnage but do nothing about it.
48. Enjoying a massage from an attractive underling. It's good to be the king.

[Vincent Takeda]

49. Scrying on the gaming table/session

[lucky7]

50. Playing pool.

51. Plotting his defenses (tactics!) Comic Version: Playing the "final confrontation" with him and the PCs as action figures.

[The Drunken Dragon]

52. Playing poker and losing badly to his underlings(comic version: playing poker having gambled everything but his boxers)

[Laithoron]

What's the villain doing when you scry on them?

08a. Yo momma! (Extra points to the villain if the PC's mother is already deceased.)
53. Brushing their teeth with a bottle of Jack
54. Running their plan past a focus group comprised of elementary school students (pursuant to 13a).
55. Whistling innocently and trying to keep a straight face (Detect Scrying was already cast and they currently have some invisible horror waiting in the wings to eat the PCs when they teleport in).

[Tiny Coffee Golem]

53. Playing chess with, himself(simulacrum) or death.

[Loren Pechtel]

54) In a session with a dominatrix (an ideal time to attack.)

55) Scrying the BBEG. (There's a doppleganger involved. Which one, though?)

56) Running in fear from a rat. (Strategy advice for the PCs.)

57) Summoning a powerful creature of the lower planes. When the PCs attack they'll find the creature still trapped in the circle, remember how easily outside forces can break it.

[Arguecat]

58) Debating Alignment with a duped pawn/catspaw who just cast Know Alignment on the BBEG and is now questioning their allegiance to said BBEG.

[DungeonmasterCal]

59. Playing Pong on his vintage, mint condition Atari 2600.

60. Or playing THIS on his Intellivision! Holy cats!

[Tiny Coffee Golem]

64 is the next number. I threw it off.

[lucky7]

53. Admiring himself.

54. Playing with a puppy. It's name is Spot. When they confront him, "Spot" turns out to be an advanced Hell Hound.

[Natrim]

Getting back on the right number, tiny is right.

66. Reviewing the paybook. Lots of dead mooks at the protaganist's hands means plenty of money alloted for salary is now available for addtional traps.

67. Reviewing various illusions a potential recruit is capable of creating, leading our scrying fellows to believe he now has several pet juvenile dragons.

68. Feeding his pet dragon.

69. Ordering his new servants to clean up his new pet, named Fluffy. Fluffy happens to be off screen and an Iron Golem.

70. Admiring a new vintage from a protaganist hometown.

[Laithoron]

71. Writing a thank you letter to one of the PCs for the blueprints of their hideout which they have upon their desk.
72. Holding a board meeting for the shareholders of the PCs' favorite coffee house.
73. Enjoying their morning tea in the company of a PC that everyone thought had been slain.
74. Counting to 3 with their henchmen right outside the door to the room the PCs are in.

[lucky7]

71. Crafting magic items.

72. Staring directly at the scrying. Turns out there's a painting he likes.

[Valkir]

77. Taking down holiday decorations

78. Putting up holiday decorations

79. Giving a speech

80. Falling asleep at the underling report-out meeting

81. Trying to get fingers out of a Chinese Finger Trap

82. Receiving the mayor from the nearby town (surprise! the mayor forges a pact with the BBEG!)

[Lincoln Hills]

83. Pacing anxiously up and down a corridor.

84. In conference with another villain (unrelated to the current plot), detailing his plans for dealing with the PCs. (This may seem like you're giving the PCs even more than they hoped for, unless you ask yourself: why would he tell the truth to this other villain?)

[cnetarian]

85. Losing a boxing match with his shadow.

86. Stealing a tip as he leaves a restaurant (he is evil after all).

87. Dunking monster crackers into milk and eating them while making strange sounds.

88. Filling out tax forms. This may involve a tax collector being nailed to his wall.

89. A white sign appears saying "unable to complete your connection at this time. please scry again later." (BBEG has cast non-detection, sure to make the PCs paranoid.)

90. Working in the lab, as the scrying starts he suddenly turns to face the PCs and drops a flask.

[Lincoln Hills]

(Side note: #87 reminds me of the very first episode of Firefly. The pilot's supposed to be on look-out and instead he's playing with his plastic dinosaurs. I mean, I realize this is deep space and it wouldn't help one bit to have him peering out the spaceship's windows, but still.)

[Tinalles]

91. Negotiating for dental coverage for his minions "Because I never know when they'll need to rip out some hero's throat with nothing but their teeth."

[Jeven]

92. Sitting at a table twiddling his thumbs looking bored.
(BBEG has to wait for the PCs to arrive before beginning his big bad plan, so they can burst in just in time to foil it.)

[icehawk333]

93- watching teevo.

[Tigger_mk4]

92. Communing with other planes (comic-On the telephone demanding a payrise and danger money from the GM)
93. Watching a sports event (baseball, cricket, etc...)
94 participating in a sports event ("and now, up to bat' is..."). Potentially includes gladiatorial stuff.
95. Judging a competition (comic - they get an image of simon cowell)

[Safarix]

96. Playing a tabletop roleplaying game set in a world without magic.

[Azixirad]

Fixing his toupee in the bathroom mirror while singing a "truly epic" bohemian rhapsody

[logic_poet]

98. Counting his treasure.
99. Mounted, at a crossroads or promontory, reading a map.

[Rashagar]

Bill Kirsch wrote:

48. Enjoying a massage from an attractive underling. It's good to be the king.

Misread that as enjoying a massacre from an attractive underling.

Apologies if these were said already, memory failing.

100. At a royal gala, having a grand old time. Shows how well connected he is, and how difficult it'll be to deal with him in a non-destructive good-aligned way.

101. Tending his garden. (in either pretty or deathtrap varieties)

102. Dungeon delving with his own adventuring party.

[logic_poet]

100. In his stronghold, casting ceremony.

[Darigaaz the Igniter]

104) Standing perfectly still and glaring at the sensor. He holds the same pose and always faces the sensor no matter what direction it looks at him from. This is actually an illusion designed for just such a thing. (Comic: said illusion is flipping the scry sensor off)

[ParagonDireRaccoon]

103. Crafting sculptures in the likeness of the PCs for use in spells (probably not to the benefit of the PCs)

[logic_poet]

105. Reviewing his base's defenses with his trusty lieutenant. (Comic: rehearsing his monologue over a half-built deathtrap)
106. Bribing or seducing an ally of the PCs. (Comic: cuckolding a minion.)
107. At the tailor's, for a fitting.
108. Parenting. (Comic: "grilling" his/her child's latest suitor.)
109. Taking bed rest.
110. Dictating a letter to a minion.
111. Bargaining with a called creature, or paying it for services rendered.
112. Having a Harrow reading.
113. Attending a public performance of some kind, such as a play, mass, or trial.
114. Any Downtime Activity from Ultimate Campaign, really.
115. Betraying an ally.
116. Offending a different enemy of the PCs.
117. Demonstrating the pass phrase to someplace the PCs must infiltrate.
118. Interrogating a prisoner. (Comic: Half-listening to a minion's latest excuses for some failure.)
119. Creating an undead minion.
120. Feeding the guardian beast(s). (Comic: You have failed me for the last time!)
121. In the middle of casting or receiving a sending.
122. Conversing in Druidic, or another secret language.
123. Having a conversation where a translator is required to understand her interlocutor.
124. Briefing her simulacra.
125. Opening a gift or accepting tribute. (Comic: eating fruitcake.)
126. Having looted it from a nearby body, tapping a forked metal rod and listening to its tone while wearing a look of intense concentration.
127. Practicing a new spell or skill.
128. Procuring an expensive, distinctive material component.

[logic_poet]

129. Listening to a lecture on the history of some item she's buying, selling, or seeking.

[+5 Toaster]

130.Spanking a leprechaun while listening to polka, It's part of his interpretive dance routine.