>>Blame *Cosmo* for ALL your problems here<<

[John Kretzer]

Cr500cricket wrote:

Kajehase wrote:

I blame Cosmo for UPS/Posten taking their sweet time with delivering my great golem order. I knew I should have asked Cismo to keep an eye on things.

Cismo? Who's Cismo?

Hey this not a *ask all of your question here* thread this is for Blaming Cosmo for stuff...like:

I Blame Cosmo for Cr500cricket posting a off topic post in this thread.

I Blame Cosmo for Cr500cricket for not knowing who Cismo is.

[Orthos]

I blame Cosmo that this Cismo thing is still gaining traction. Like I said, Cosmo IS the Good Twin.

[Limeylongears]

Why can't there be triplets - Cismo (LG), Cusmo (CE) and Cosmo (who has transcended the stifling boundaries of your petty morality) ?

[Feros]

I just got my regular subscription order physical products far faster than normal and now feel bad for the smug mocking at those whose orders have not even shipped which I posted upthread. :(

I blame Cosmo for this guilt.

[Orthos]

I blame Cosmo for having to be up and at work at this ungodly hour.

[John Kretzer]

I Blame Cosmo for my cat waking me up to be fed at this ungodly hour.

[Set]

Feros wrote:

I, however, got BOTH my great golem sale order AND my regular subscription sent.

*smug*

I blame Cosmo for the evil impulse that caused me to post this. >:D

Fiend. It's been weeks, and I haven't even got the confirmation email allowing me to read the PDFs I ordered during the Great Golem sale!

Which is totally all on Cosmo.

Along with those dudes who try to talk to you in the bathroom. You know when I don't want to talk about sports with random strangers? When I have my **** in my hand, that's when. Cosmo!

[Mythic JMD031]

I blame Cosmo for my Halloween Costume not being available locally so that I had to order it online.

[Cosmo]

John Kretzer wrote:

I Blame Cosmo for my cat waking me up to be fed at this ungodly hour.

*ahem*

[Pillbug Toenibbler]

Cosmo wrote:

John Kretzer wrote:

I Blame Cosmo for my cat waking me up to be fed at this ungodly hour.

*ahem*

Automatic water and pellet dispensers seem like a good idea... until one cat figures out how the water feeder works and tricks it into dispensing a quart of water on the floor. Or the cat knocks the pellet dispenser over and pushes it all over the kitchen floor, then her obese sister sits on it until the container cracks. Then they both whine until the Maine Coon, the evil genius/natural safecracker, figures out how to work the lid off. Then the two less bright sisters gorge themselves eating, and then harf it all back up 5 minutes later. The sisters then decide they need reassurance and head to the bedroom where they are stymied by the closed door. They slide paws underneath the door searching for the sproingy door stop, thumping around until they remember I removed and threw away all the sproingy door stops because I stop being amused by the sproingy-thumpy morning song of their people. High-strung sister starts wailing and scritching at the door, while her obese sister loudly head butts it. At this point, I generally surrender, and shamble into the kitchen to straighten the mess, mop up the water, and clean up the barely-chewed barf. Normally the Maine Coon has now decided to repeatedly push the lever down on the cabinet can opener, goes back to attempting to pry open the refrigerator door (and succeeding if I forgot to reengage the baby latch), or is now attempting to pry open the baby-latched cabinet where the canned tuna and canned refried beans are kept. (The vet and I do not understand why she likes eating vegan refried beans.)

I'm blame Cosmo for not knowing this happens... unless of course, he does and is just attempting to set you up to be filmed for a winning entry on America's Funniest Home Videos.

[Cosmo]

Pillbug Toenibbler wrote:

Cosmo wrote:

John Kretzer wrote:

I Blame Cosmo for my cat waking me up to be fed at this ungodly hour.

*ahem*

Automatic water and pellet dispensers seem like a good idea... until one cat figures out how the water feeder works and tricks it into dispensing a quart of water on the floor. Or the cat knocks the pellet dispenser over and pushes it all over the kitchen floor, then her obese sister sits on it until the container cracks. Then they both whine until the Maine Coon, the evil genius/natural safecracker, figures out how to work the lid off. Then the two less bright sisters gorge themselves eating, and then harf it all back up 5 minutes later. The sisters then decide they need reassurance and head to the bedroom where they are stymied by the closed door. They slide paws underneath the door searching for the sproingy door stop, thumping around until they remember I removed and threw away all the sproingy door stops because I stop being amused by the sproingy-thumpy morning song of their people. High-strung sister starts wailing and scritching at the door, while her obese sister loudly head butts it. At this point, I generally surrender, and shamble into the kitchen to straighten the mess, mop up the water, and clean up the barely-chewed barf. Normally the Maine Coon has now decided to repeatedly push the lever down on the cabinet can opener, goes back to attempting to pry open the refrigerator door (and succeeding if I forgot to reengage the baby latch), or is now attempting to pry open the baby-latched cabinet where the canned tuna and canned refried beans are kept. (The vet and I do not understand why she likes eating vegan refried beans.)

I'm blame Cosmo for not knowing this happens... unless of course, he does and is just attempting to set you up to be filmed for a winning entry on America's Funniest Home Videos.

*sigh*

[John Kretzer]

Cosmo wrote:

John Kretzer wrote:

I Blame Cosmo for my cat waking me up to be fed at this ungodly hour.

*ahem*

It is obvious that those people who invented that never owned a cat before.

Must be Cosmo's fault.

[Feros]

OK, crossing a bridge that has a steep incline in our old truck today. The truck has been...temperamental to say the least lately, but we have been very busy and the problems have been difficult to diagnose.

We get half way up and the truck begins to slow down. It finally stalls and blocks all traffic behind us on the bridge. It's a standard, so it rolls back a little when you try and restart it on an incline. No place to pull over. We back up little by little on each attempt to restart and I back into a lady's car right behind us!

This is a two-lane bridge, so all traffic is stopped going across in the direction we are going. I don't handle unexpected pressure very well and am slowly turning into a block of ice.

Fortunately someone with EMS training is right behind the lady's car and helps out. The stupid truck's emergency lights are broken as well, so I can't even put on the hazards!

After the police and a tow truck get us all out of there, the damage amounts to some minor scratches on the lady's hood and my nerves.

This was the start of the day. In the rain.

I blame Cosmo. Seriously, this was one of the best yet. :/

[Mythic JMD031]

Pillbug Toenibbler wrote:

Cosmo wrote:

John Kretzer wrote:

I Blame Cosmo for my cat waking me up to be fed at this ungodly hour.

*ahem*

Automatic water and pellet dispensers seem like a good idea... until one cat figures out how the water feeder works and tricks it into dispensing a quart of water on the floor. Or the cat knocks the pellet dispenser over and pushes it all over the kitchen floor, then her obese sister sits on it until the container cracks. Then they both whine until the Maine Coon, the evil genius/natural safecracker, figures out how to work the lid off. Then the two less bright sisters gorge themselves eating, and then harf it all back up 5 minutes later. The sisters then decide they need reassurance and head to the bedroom where they are stymied by the closed door. They slide paws underneath the door searching for the sproingy door stop, thumping around until they remember I removed and threw away all the sproingy door stops because I stop being amused by the sproingy-thumpy morning song of their people. High-strung sister starts wailing and scritching at the door, while her obese sister loudly head butts it. At this point, I generally surrender, and shamble into the kitchen to straighten the mess, mop up the water, and clean up the barely-chewed barf. Normally the Maine Coon has now decided to repeatedly push the lever down on the cabinet can opener, goes back to attempting to pry open the refrigerator door (and succeeding if I forgot to reengage the baby latch), or is now attempting to pry open the baby-latched cabinet where the canned tuna and canned refried beans are kept. (The vet and I do not understand why she likes eating vegan refried beans.)

I'm blame Cosmo for not knowing this happens... unless of course, he does and is just attempting to set you up to be filmed for a winning entry on America's Funniest Home Videos.

It appears you are the proud owner of the crazy cat lady starter kit. The obvious culprit is Cosmo.

[Ambrosia Slaad]

Mythic JMD031 wrote:

Pillbug Toenibbler wrote:

Cosmo wrote:

John Kretzer wrote:

I Blame Cosmo for my cat waking me up to be fed at this ungodly hour.

*ahem*

Automatic water and pellet dispensers seem like a good idea... until one cat figures out how the water feeder works and tricks it into dispensing a quart of water on the floor. Or the cat knocks the pellet dispenser over and pushes it all over the kitchen floor, then her obese sister sits on it until the container cracks. Then they both whine until the Maine Coon, the evil genius/natural safecracker, figures out how to work the lid off. Then the two less bright sisters gorge themselves eating, and then harf it all back up 5 minutes later. The sisters then decide they need reassurance and head to the bedroom where they are stymied by the closed door. They slide paws underneath the door searching for the sproingy door stop, thumping around until they remember I removed and threw away all the sproingy door stops because I stop being amused by the sproingy-thumpy morning song of their people. High-strung sister starts wailing and scritching at the door, while her obese sister loudly head butts it. At this point, I generally surrender, and shamble into the kitchen to straighten the mess, mop up the water, and clean up the barely-chewed barf. Normally the Maine Coon has now decided to repeatedly push the lever down on the cabinet can opener, goes back to attempting to pry open the refrigerator door (and succeeding if I forgot to reengage the baby latch), or is now attempting to pry open the baby-latched cabinet where the canned tuna and canned refried beans are kept. (The vet and I do not understand why she likes eating vegan refried beans.)

I'm blame Cosmo for not knowing this happens... unless of course, he does and is just attempting to set you up to be filmed for a winning entry on America's Funniest Home Videos.

It appears you are the proud owner of the crazy cat lady starter kit. The obvious culprit is Cosmo.

No, the crazy cat lady starter kit was given to me by

family drama:

my sister. Her husband wanted a dog, claiming dogs are better for boys (my nephews)... so he got a huge puppy from one of his a*+$&!* friends that would grow into a huge dog, so they had to find a home for all three full-grown cats. I of course took them in, even though my own cat had just painfully died a week and a half earlier. Now the huge dog is too large, the husband claims it was all my sister's/his wife's idea, and got a new tiny half-Chihuahua/half-Dachshund dog that huge dog wants to eat out of jealously. Only now, no one will adopt huge dog off their hands. Meanwhile, I love my three feline housemates and they are as happy as cats generally get, but I always get corrected whenever I refer to them as "my" cats (even though I pay for all their food, vet checkups, and flea medication). {sigh} [More whining deleted]

I blame Cosmo for my whining.

[Rysky]

@Ambrosia:

How long have you been taking care of the cats? Not saying it will come to this but keep a record of all the vet visits and the receipts that way incase your sister tries to take the cats away and you want to keep them then you'll have proof that you have been their caregiver and that she has no right to them.

[Ambrosia Slaad]

Rysky wrote:

Spoiler:

How long have you been taking care of the cats? Not saying it will come to this but keep a record of all the vet visits and the receipts that way incase your sister tries to take the cats away and you want to keep them then you'll have proof that you have been their caregiver and that she has no right to them.

Rysky:

It's been 3½ years, but I'm not going to fight my sister for custody over the cats if they somehow don't have the dogs and could provide a home for them. The two 5 yro sister cats were raised by my nephews right after being weaned and I'm not going to deny them if they can take them back. The Maine Coon is almost 17 years old and now has a third occurrence of "benign" mastocytoma (subdermal mast tumors) and declining appetite & energy. She isn't in any pain or discomfort, or I'd've had her put to sleep, but she seems to know she is winding down to her end. I'm trying to not be resentful of my sister when she visits once every two-three months to drop off a few cans of cat food and just nod/shrug about the vet/food bills. Her job is stressful and doesn't pay great, and her husband is self-centered self-indulgent ass, so she doesn't need pressure/crap coming from me.

I'm sorry for venting. I'm just emotionally-/financially-drained, I had a bad public panic-attack this afternoon, and I'm just feeling really raw right now.

I blame Cosmo for my insomnia.

[Rysky]

Ambrosia Slaad wrote:

Rysky wrote:

** spoiler omitted **

** spoiler omitted **

I blame Cosmo for my insomnia.

*begins sending positive feelings*

[Master Pugwampi]

Rysky wrote:

Ambrosia Slaad wrote:

Rysky wrote:

** spoiler omitted **

** spoiler omitted **

I blame Cosmo for my insomnia.

*begins sending positive feelings*

Stop that! Positive feelings have no place on this thread!

I blame Cosmo for Rysky's sudden and alarming good natureness!

[Rysky]

Master Pugwampi wrote:

Rysky wrote:

Ambrosia Slaad wrote:

Rysky wrote:

** spoiler omitted **

** spoiler omitted **

I blame Cosmo for my insomnia.

*begins sending positive feelings*

Stop that! Positive feelings have no place on this thread!

I blame Cosmo for Rysky's sudden and alarming good natureness!

Yes they do! Especially since I stole them from some Schmuck who didn't deserve them.

[Tels]

Rysky wrote:

Master Pugwampi wrote:

Rysky wrote:

Ambrosia Slaad wrote:

Rysky wrote:

** spoiler omitted **

** spoiler omitted **

I blame Cosmo for my insomnia.

*begins sending positive feelings*

Stop that! Positive feelings have no place on this thread!

I blame Cosmo for Rysky's sudden and alarming good natureness!

Yes they do! Especially since I stole them from some Schmuck who didn't deserve them.

Does that explain why I sometimes get discount codes from Victoria's Secret in my email, letting me know that I can 'find just the right bra' and get 15% off from their online store?

If so, I blame Cosmo for giving me the 'happiness' of some lady out there.

[John Kretzer]

Rysky wrote:

Master Pugwampi wrote:

Rysky wrote:

Ambrosia Slaad wrote:

Rysky wrote:

** spoiler omitted **

** spoiler omitted **

I blame Cosmo for my insomnia.

*begins sending positive feelings*

Stop that! Positive feelings have no place on this thread!

I blame Cosmo for Rysky's sudden and alarming good natureness!

Yes they do! Especially since I stole them from some Schmuck who didn't deserve them.

I Blame Cosmo for Rysky stealing my positive feeling...and calling me a schmuck. :(

Or was it somebody else?

[Rysky]

John Kretzer wrote:

Rysky wrote:

Master Pugwampi wrote:

Rysky wrote:

Ambrosia Slaad wrote:

Rysky wrote:

** spoiler omitted **

** spoiler omitted **

I blame Cosmo for my insomnia.

*begins sending positive feelings*

Stop that! Positive feelings have no place on this thread!

I blame Cosmo for Rysky's sudden and alarming good natureness!

Yes they do! Especially since I stole them from some Schmuck who didn't deserve them.

I Blame Cosmo for Rysky stealing my positive feeling...and calling me a schmuck. :(

Or was it somebody else?

All were equally of non-importance!

[John Kretzer]

I Blame Cosmo for all the irreg.(70lb+) packages I move today. What nefarious device are you building?

[Mythic JMD031]

I blame Cosmo for Occult Adventures not being available for purchase yet.

[John Kretzer]

John Kretzer wrote:

I Blame Cosmo for Rysky stealing my positive feeling...and calling me a schmuck. :(

Or was it somebody else?

I Blame Cosmo for not favoring this post.

[Rysky]

John Kretzer wrote:

John Kretzer wrote:

I Blame Cosmo for Rysky stealing my positive feeling...and calling me a schmuck. :(

Or was it somebody else?

I Blame Cosmo for not favoring this post.

I blame Cosmo for JK starting to go Yandere over Cosmo.

[John Kretzer]

I Blame Cosmo for Rysky going THERE.

[Limeylongears]

Northern Rail have started using recordings of small children for their safety announcements. AAAAGH! Now I have to be bossed around by bloody digitised toddlers while freezing my bum off waiting for some 20 minutes late 1980s cattle-cart, do I, Cosmo?!

[Rysky]

John Kretzer wrote:

I Blame Cosmo for Rysky going THERE.

Welcome to the other side of sanity! Bwahahahahaha!

[John Kretzer]

I Blame Cosmo for my local 'friendly' gaming store closing down.

Well okay it probably was not all of his fault.

[Kajehase]

Damn you, Cosmo. Klas Ingesson deserved to become a lot older than 46. And giving an athlete skeleton cancer, that's just low.

[Calex]

I've been on jury duty for the past month. The trial was scheduled for 29 days. I blame Cosmo that my boss is an @$$ and thinks that meant 29 CALENDER days and not 29 BUSINESS days, and is mad at me for not being back to work this week. I mean- what government office is EVER open weekends? Not to mention even the contract union pay says I get paid at an 8-hour day/40 hour week rate for jury duty. Really Cosmo, where do you find these dumb-@$$ people?

[Antimony]

I can't find a consistent group to game with, either locally or via the internets. I blame Cosmo for this, somehow stealing all the dedicated gamers.

[williamoak]

I blame Cosmo for not having the time or the players to test the new Occult Adventures classes.

[John Kretzer]

So I got my Pazio subscription package in the mail yesterday and on my shipping invoice was a personal message that read...

'Thank you for all your contributions to the 'Blame Cosmo' Thread; He and I always really appreciate them! :) ' and than there was a little heart by my name.

Now this message was awesome. Thank you.

I do have to Blame Cosmo for one thing though. I could not make out the signature. Curse you Cosmo for my inability to read signatures that has been plaguing me my whole life. *shakes fist angrily*

[Orthos]

HAH! That's awesome! Who else was on the list?

[Mythic JMD031]

I blame Cosmo that I have not gotten a personalized message for my contributions to this thread.

[Rysky]

Hrrrm?

[Game Master Scotty]

I blame Cosmo that the originator of the thread has not gotten a personalized hand written message.

And for a keg sliding out of the rack last week and nearly amputating my hand. You missed my friend, you only got half a finger nail. But it was a nice try.

[Chemlak]

I blame Cosmo for several late summer/autumn colds hitting me. Seriously, Cosmo, it's been since August. Every time I start to recover, another one strikes. I'd like to feel well again, please!

(Disclaimer: my doctor says it's definitely just a cold, nothing more serious, for which I praise Sara Marie, but the coughing and sniffly nose is really starting to wear me down.)

I also blame Cosmo for me stocking up on treats for Halloween... and then only having a handful of Trick or Treaters come round. Am I supposed to eat all this sugary stuff myself?

[Game Master Scotty]

And I must blame Cosma for something else this week.

I had my annual Department of Transportation Physical Exam on Monday.

I passed, as I always do, but now my vision has degraded noticeably.

When I began 14 years ago, I could read the customer information on the bottom of the eye chart.

Now, I can only read the third line from the bottom.

Thanks for the aging Cosmo, I do not know how you are involved, but I know you are!

[John Kretzer]

I Blame Cosmo for Rysky and Mythic JMD031 grumbling about my awesome private message from Pazio. I am sure the appreciate each of you also.

[Hunt, the PugWumpus]

I blame Cosmo for today being a good day.

John Kretzer wrote:

I Blame Cosmo for Rysky and Mythic JMD031 grumbling about my awesome private message from Pazio. I am sure the appreciate each of you also.

Even such a pure gesture of innocent good will twists so easily to His Purpose. Yes, yes, give in to the jealously and in-fighting... such a succulent amuse-bouche for the Cosmic One, His Most Schadenfreudiferousness.

[Pillbug Toenibbler]

I blame Cosmo that we aren't allowed to have roast Lem and all the fixings until Lemsgiving next month.

Chemlak wrote:

I blame Cosmo for several late summer/autumn colds hitting me. Seriously, Cosmo, it's been since August. Every time I start to recover, another one strikes. I'd like to feel well again, please!

Augh! Tainted meat!

Game Master Scotty wrote:

I blame Cosmo... for a keg sliding out of the rack last week and nearly amputating my hand. You missed my friend, you only got half a finger nail. But it was a nice try.

I'm afraid it's bad news: the finger nail wound is lethal. So... um... can we chop off and cook your leg?

Game Master Scotty wrote:

I passed, as I always do, but now my vision has degraded noticeably.

See, fatal. You have my condolences. {shakes salt and pepper on GMS, measures his leg for BBQ grill}

[Game Master Scotty]

Pillbug Toenibbler wrote:

I blame Cosmo that we aren't allowed to have roast Lem and all the fixings until Lemsgiving next month.

Chemlak wrote:

I blame Cosmo for several late summer/autumn colds hitting me. Seriously, Cosmo, it's been since August. Every time I start to recover, another one strikes. I'd like to feel well again, please!

Augh! Tainted meat!

Game Master Scotty wrote:

I blame Cosmo... for a keg sliding out of the rack last week and nearly amputating my hand. You missed my friend, you only got half a finger nail. But it was a nice try.

I'm afraid it's bad news: the finger nail wound is lethal. So... um... can we chop off and cook your leg?

Game Master Scotty wrote:

I passed, as I always do, but now my vision has degraded noticeably.

See, fatal. You have my condolences. {shakes salt and pepper on GMS, measures his leg for BBQ grill}

I'm a little tough, you might want to use traditional BBQ or a crock pot instead of grilling me.

[Pillbug Toenibbler]

Game Master Scotty wrote:

Pillbug Toenibbler wrote:

{shakes salt and pepper on GMS, measures his leg for BBQ grill}

I'm a little tough, you might want to use traditional BBQ or a crock pot instead of grilling me.

Actually, I prefer Alton Brown's method of building up a smoky char on the outside, then finishing the meat by slow-&-low roasting in a conventional oven over several hours. That gives me time to work on the other sides and fixins. You should turn out delicious.

I blame Cosmo for some peoples' fervent hatred of Alton Brown.

[Game Master Scotty]

I love Alton!

...and now I'm hungry again...

I do sound delicious...

Now I blame Cosmo for making Pillbug Toenibbler making me want to eat myself for sounding yummy...

[Bizarro Freehold]

Pillbug Toenibbler wrote:

Game Master Scotty wrote:

Pillbug Toenibbler wrote:

{shakes salt and pepper on GMS, measures his leg for BBQ grill}

I'm a little tough, you might want to use traditional BBQ or a crock pot instead of grilling me.

Actually, I prefer Alton Brown's method of building up a smoky char on the outside, then finishing the meat by slow-&-low roasting in a conventional oven over several hours. That gives me time to work on the other sides and fixins. You should turn out delicious.

I blame Cosmo for some peoples' fervent hatred of Alton Brown.

Sounds delicious.

[John Kretzer]

I Blame Cosmo for the Inner Sea Races not being out yet.