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so I've been on spring break from the school where I teach. (Private schools around here get two weeks for spring break, which is absolutely ridiculous. Going from public to private schools is quite the jump.)
Anyway, I had last week filled up with a bunch of PFS, and that worked great for keeping me occupied. But now that that's over, every morning since I have nothing better to do, I've been waking up with massive dysphoria.
My solution so far has been to start writing as soon as I can (and I started a silly writing project yesterday to help with that), but I'm still losing a lot of time during the day to dysphoria, and I do have other stuff I need to be working on.
At least I'm delving into some of the silliest statblocks I've ever dealt with, and that's counting the infamous chickens.
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@mechaPoet: I hope you feel better soon.
@Rysky: *hugs*
@lammers: When faced with similar situations I often binge watch a TV show...reread smell books I really like...play old video games I enjoy...etc.
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* lumbers in *
Good morning, everyone.
*grabs everyone in one of my big, fluffy hugs *
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Good Morning Everyone.
*hugs*
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Poor John.
* gives him a hug *
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Raid them if they have any closing sales
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So I'm watching Steven Universe. It's one of my favorite shows, and I'm already in the middle of the third season despite only starting watching it this last Friday.
- It's interesting see how, in the show, Rebecca Sugar is talking with the CN executives over how overt the LGBTQIA+ elements are. At first, it's implied, but it's never outright said. As the series progresses, however, the LGBTQIA+ elements gradually come more prominent, climaxing at "Jailbreak," where it is revealed that Garnet is literally the incarnation of a healthy romantic lesbian relationship. I personally laud Rebecca Sugar for giving LGBTQIA+ kids watching the show positive, but still realistic role models (more on that later).
- My friend and I were having a debate over Stevonnie's gender identity recently. Although both of us agreed that they were non-binary, we couldn't quite agree where exactly she fell on that. And then I realized that was exactly the point. They're obviously non-binary, but it's not very specific, so genderqueer kids watching the show could map their own feelings and experiences onto them. I personally read Stevonnie more as a demigirl, but my friend sees them more as bigender, and we're both right.
- What I love about the show in particular is how it has a bunch of positive role models, but all of those role models have flaws. Pearl is somebody that I look up to, personally, but she's neurotic, obsessive about Rose, and overprotective. That doesn't diminish my admiration of her, but rather strengthens it, because she's such a strong person despite all of that. And I think kids watching the show need to be shown that you don't have to be perfect to be strong and good.
- The fusions are an excellent way of introducing the idea of consent to kids of a young age, even before they're getting sex ed. When Malachite is formed, it's explicitly a terrible thing, with Jasper enticing Lapis Lazuli into doing it.
- While we're on the subject of Lapis and Jasper, it was absolutely heart-wrenching to see Lapis behaving like an abuse victim inside the ship, and I must applaud everybody on the team and CN itself for taking the issue of emotional abuse seriously on a PG show.
- Sardonyx is amazing. That's all for this point.
- I have to repeat this, but, the way that the show's characters are written is fantastic. All the main characters are good, kind people, but they all have problems. Steven has a huge guilt complex and is feeling the strain as acting as emotional support for literally everybody in his life. Greg and Pearl are both taking the loss of Rose extremely hard. Amethyst is still dealing with angst about both being "defective" and being created on an Earth kindergarten. Connie is dealing with some inferiority issues, but she's working through them (she's also my favorite character on the show, hands-down). Lapis is only really open to Steven and is still dealing with the consequences of her abuse at the hands of Jasper. Peridot, at least in my opinion, is somewhere on the autism spectrum and is struggling with both her past and her place in the gems.
- In "Love Letters," the message that true love takes time to flourish is massively important.
- Actually, the show does an amazing job of delivering important messages without them being hamhandedly thrust in there.
- The songs are great.
I absolutely adore the show, and recommend it to everyone.
I've been watching the show since the beginning and cannot agree more with what you have already said, Doomkitten.
"Jailbreak" is my second-favorite episode so far. My favorite is one of the later episodes in season 3.
Even the so-called "filler" episodes involve some sort of character information and/or growth.
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We still have one that is open, but it's been mostly phones and phone contracts for years.
But there is that little space in the back with wires and stuff.
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I'm back from my larp and I'm exhausted. I have lots of feelings about it.Care to share said feelings? :3
Sure.
1) It was a great time! I really enjoyed myself and want to go back.
2) It was really intense in a way that I'm still processing. I had two panic attacks while there and I'm bringing a few of my old cards that basically say "I'm having a panic attack, here's how to help" next time that includes things, like, referring to me as my in-game character while I'm disassociating is Bad. I also had a guy on Sunday tell me that my anxiety would go away when I learn to get into character, which - hahahahahaha.
3) My friendship with the person I went with is super complicated. I'd developed a USDA Gade A romantic feelings for her (and we talked about it!). She said that she has feelings back, but is in a monogamous long distance relationship (that she wants to leave but is too non-confrontational to actually leave).
This is kind of messing me up a bit, because I'm pretty good at the boundary of "hey, we're just friends" but sometimes she asks if I want to move down with her to Florida and it gets hard to keep up that boundary, you know? And spending a really emotional weekend with her didn't help! Part of me is like "screw it, you can daydream about it if you want because it's not like you're gonna get anything actually ever date" while the other part of me is "red alert. Stop dreaming about moving in with her. Stop daydreaming about her, period." I just don't know where to go next, since she's unavailable. I just have never had much luck with relationships (my ex-gf/fiance 7 years ago sort of messed me up real good).
4) I really want to go back, but I'm nervous about going back with my friend OR without her. I just don't know what to do at this point.
5) This is something I wanna do super casually and not get overly into it. Hard to avoid that when people are "you should do this, and this rule, and....". But I'm probably going to die on that sword haha.
So those are pretty much the complicated feelings I'm having.
*burning warm and bright, spreading cozyness and comfort, making a good shelter for hugs, smiles talk, companionship, naps and tea*
I'm back from my larp and I'm exhausted. I have lots of feelings about it.Care to share said feelings? :3Sure.
1) It was a great time! I really enjoyed myself and want to go back.
2) It was really intense in a way that I'm still processing. I had two panic attacks while there and I'm bringing a few of my old cards that basically say "I'm having a panic attack, here's how to help" next time that includes things, like, referring to me as my in-game character while I'm disassociating is Bad. I also had a guy on Sunday tell me that my anxiety would go away when I learn to get into character, which - hahahahahaha.
3) My friendship with the person I went with is super complicated. I'd developed a USDA Gade A romantic feelings for her (and we talked about it!). She said that she has feelings back, but is in a monogamous long distance relationship (that she wants to leave but is too non-confrontational to actually leave).
This is kind of messing me up a bit, because I'm pretty good at the boundary of "hey, we're just friends" but sometimes she asks if I want to move down with her to Florida and it gets hard to keep up that boundary, you know? And spending a really emotional weekend with her didn't help! Part of me is like "screw it, you can daydream about it if you want because it's not like you're gonna get anything actually ever date" while the other part of me is "red alert. Stop dreaming about moving in with her. Stop daydreaming about her, period." I just don't know where to go next, since she's unavailable. I just have never had much luck with relationships (my ex-gf/fiance 7 years ago sort of messed me up real good).
4) I really want to go back, but I'm nervous about going back with my friend OR without her. I just don't know what to do at this point.
5) This is something I wanna do super casually and not get overly into it. Hard to avoid that when people are "you should do this, and this rule, and....". But I'm probably going to die on...
wow.
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Ah, sorry, I'm not sure how to interpret that wow? I mean, I know that this situation is filled with bad stuff (like it's not a healthy situation at all and she should break up with the gf regardless of my relationship with her). I'm trying to process my feelings around it. Luckily! This person is moving several states away in the next month, so I'll be able to get a lot of distance and work out my stuff without putting any expectations on her.
My mantra right now is just "believe her when she said nothing's going to happen, and stop trying to read in hope for a future dating-thing".
I dunno, sorry, ah, for the emotions dump in the thread ;;
It's okay to dump! And I'm glad you will be several states away, it sounds like a lot of potential drama.
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@John Napier 698: *hugs* I am sure you will fid someplace to buy electronic stuff.
@Slothsy: *hugs* I did the LARPing had to stop because of too much staff politics and too much OOG stuff...
*hugs Again* Give her space, be a friend for her, give her encouragement to break it off a unhealthy relationship as a friend.
@Rysky:*hugs*...I had a extra hug to give. ;)
On LARPing and 'getting into character'
Only relating personal experience, but this was always a *very* dangerous thing for me.
Someone placed trigger item on my person,while I was 'in-character' (definitely on the edge of the 'no stunts' rule). And keeping entirely and completely 'in-character' didn't have the least bit of issue.
After the scene was over, and the evening was called, I went 'out-of-character' and honest truth almost instantly curled up in a defensive ball with my RL defensive equipment in hand, and nearly passed out from hyperventilating.
Example 2: Due to shenanigans, a character that I was playing became quite deceased. My reaction was... poor, and I am insanely grateful that the person that I took said reaction out on was cool, balanced, and helped 'talk me down' rather than call the authorities.
Long Distance Relationships
I've been involved in two. They didn't last, and we parted amicably and friends in both cases, but we then proceeded to fall well and far out of touch.
LARPing Relationships
Out of all the different types of gaming relationships, the hottest and fastest burning ones I've seen are those between folks at a LARP. In some cases, burning so fast and hot that the resultant fireworks within an exceptionally short time period became almost... 'expected'.
Given the number of dramatic explosions and melt-downs, it is probably better to separate such interactions as much as possible -- I've witnessed beyond count the number of relationships, but only a few lasted any appreciable length, and that was due to the couple having significant interests they shared outside of LARP.
By all means, though, please discharge the emotions rather than keep them 'bottled up'. Not communicating with a peer-set is dangerous to the self, as a broader knowledge base is much more preferable to work with than a limited one.
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I'm happy. I was just accepted as a transfer student to the University of South Florida. So I am leaving Montana State University after this semester ends. While I will be coming back to Montana twice a year... this is mostly an end to an era of my life... and era that included being on the far right... and leaving the far right...but also included me becoming out as LGBT.
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This person is someone I've known for some time outside of the larp I went to (and the feelings are separate from it as well). I've known her for probably... 9 months or so? I don't know, it's a mess of a situation where dating-type junk just isn't going to happen for a flowchart of reasons.
I think a big part of what I'm also reacting to is that I'm not as neurotypical as I thought I was, since it's like... I can literally never imagine being able to suppress that anxiety for any reason. It's so all-encompassing. To listen to people say they can just turn it off... it's like... how?? (Example: I literally said 'hi' to someone this past weekend, freaked out, said 'bye' and then ran away)
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* lumbers in, yawns *
Good morning, everyone.
* grabs everyone in a big, fluffy bear hug *
* plops down in front of Campfire Elemental *
I'll just lie down here in case anyone needs something soft to cuddle, big ears to listen, or just a shoulder to cry on.
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*Shines bright and warm, trying to make for the best place forr this*
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Semi good news (well, the news are good, the fact that they took so much time is the 'semi-' part):
Parliaments and courts are finalizing the rehabilitation of homosexuals that were sentenced for homosexual acts when that was still a criminal act under German law (§175 existed until 1994, but a law reform in 1973 made homosexual acts between consensing adults legal).
P.S. The law that was launched in 1872 only criminalized homosexual acts between men, homosexual acts between women were, as far as I can tell, never criminalized in Germany.
I consoled myself by doing two shots of Rum
To alcohol! The cause of.. and solution to... all of life's problems.
(Sorry, John, that's the first thing that popped in my head when I read that. I'll go stand in the corner.)