Thank you so much to the judges this year and of every other for your amazing feedback!
Choking Jar
Aura moderate necromancy; CL 9th
Slot —; Price 7,000 gp; Weight 1/2 lb.
Description
Though this unassuming, palm-sized jar appears to be made of ordinary glass, it feels unusually porous to the touch. When a piece of the user’s intended victim is sealed inside, the jar is capable of robbing the target creature of its breath at any distance.
First, the user must place a piece of the target creature inside the jar, such as a body part, lock of hair, bit of nail, etc. Placing an item in the jar and sealing it is a full-round action that provokes attacks of opportunity. Once the jar is sealed, the target’s breath begins to fill the vessel as an iridescent silver vapor and the creature immediately suffers from suffocation (as the spell, DC 17 Fortitude partial). Three rounds later, the jar shatters and the vapor dissipates, regardless of the target’s results on any of its saves. Destroying the jar prematurely immediately ends the effect.
The jar does not disclose the target creature’s whereabouts to the user nor does it provide any confirmation of its demise. The jar cannot target creatures that are not on the same plane as the user.
If any of the target’s saves are successful, it cannot be affected by a choking jar for at least 24 hours. Creatures protected from scrying cannot be affected by the jar.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, scrying, suffocation; Cost 3,500 gp
Thank you in advance for your feedback.
Corsair’s Dream
Aura strong conjuration; CL 20th
Slot: -- Price: 250,000 gp; Weight: --
Description
These vessels typically appear to be masterwork sailing ships of the design favored by pirates, privateers, and smugglers, with runes carved into the keel and stitched into the sails.
A corsair’s dream however is more than a mere sailing ship. Elementals bound to the sails and keel make them exceptionally fast, multiple unseen servants crew, maintain and clean the vessel, and extra-dimensional spaces allow them hold more crew and more cargo than even much larger vessels. Because of its enchantments a corsair’s dream differs from standard sailing ships as followings:
Defense
AC: 10; Hardness 10
Hit Points: 1200
Base Save: +10
Special: Self Repair: 2 hit points per round
Offense
Maximum Speed: 240 ft. (current) or 90 ft. (muscle); Acceleration 45 ft. (current) or 15 ft. (muscle)
(Because of the elementals bound to them a corsair’s dream can move through completely frozen waters at one third their normal speed)
CMB: +12; CMD: 30
Ramming Damage: 12d8
Description
Crew: up to 80 (because of the enchantments no crew is actually required)
Cargo Capacity: 400 tons
Special
Captains Quarters: an extensive suite of rooms and amenities as per mage’s magnificent mansion.
Crew Quarters: each crew member has their own stateroom.
Ship’s Table: enchantments provide food and drink sufficient for all aboard three times per day.
Captain’s Key: control over the vessel and its enchantments is gained by possession of a magical key unique to that vessel.
Construction
Requirements: Craft Wondrous Item, greater planar binding, mage’s magnificent mansion, make whole, permanency, rapid repair; secret chest, unseen servant; Cost: gp 125,000
I would greatly appreciate any and all feedback on my submission:
Gloves of the Magi
Aura moderate universal; CL 9th
Slot hands; Price 10,800 gp; Weight --
Description
Favoured by casters who enjoy delivering their spells while toe-to-toe with their enemies, these supple leather gloves with silver fingertips can retain and temporarily store small amounts of energy when the wearer casts certain spells, without diminishing said spells. Whenever a wearer successfully delivers a melee touch spell while wearing these gloves, an amount of residual energy will remain in the gloves until the end of the following round. The next melee touch or unarmed attack that the wearer makes, including one to deliver a melee touch spell, will deal an amount of bonus damage equal to the level of the spell that was cast, of the same type as the damage that was dealt. (A 2nd level fire spell results in the storage of 2 points of fire damage.)
When worn by a magus, these gloves allow the wearer to channel this residual damage through their wielded weapon with their next hit if the triggering melee touch spell was delivered using the magus's spellstrike ability.
The gloves can only hold one such charge at a time, which will always dissipate after one round if not used. If the triggering spell has multiple energy types, the wearer may select which type will be temporarily stored within the gloves.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, elemental touch; Cost 5,400 gp
Many thanks in advance.
Thanks so much to the judges for providing us all with detailed feedback to up our game next time around.
Here's my item:
Chariot of the Dragonlord
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 10th
Slot —; Price 22,500 gp; Weight 2 lbs.
Description
This fist-sized winged chariot is forged from crimson mithral wreathed in flickering golden flames. Twice per week, its owner may activate the chariot by attaching its reins to two Diminutive animals, such as mice or lizards, and speaking the command word. Upon activation, the chariot grows to the size of a heavy chariot and the animals transform into a pair of Large crimson and gold dragons with wings that trail embers.
The transformed chariot uses the statistics for a heavy chariot (Ultimate Combat 182) with the following changes: At full size, the chariot of the dragonlord is a Large air vehicle with Hardness 10 and hp 160 (79) that can hold up to four passengers including the driver, who must be the item’s owner. The chariot’s maximum speed is 120 ft. with an acceleration of 30 ft., and the dragons count as helpful intelligent creatures for the purposes of the driving check. The chariot lacks a light ballista; instead, the driver can command the dragons to breathe fire up to three times per activation as a standard action by making a driving check, replicating the effects of a firewyrm siege engine.
The dragons are not separate creatures; they are a part of the chariot and cannot be detached or targeted separately. Attacking the dragons damages the chariot. The driver makes Fly checks for the chariot at a +5 bonus. After 8 hours, the chariot and dragons return to their original size and form. The effect ends immediately if the owner speaks the command word again or if the chariot is brought to 0 hit points
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, fire breath, form of the dragon I, shrink item; Cost 11,250 gp
I felt really good about this one. It would be great to know where I went wrong. Thanks much!
Pharasmian Tomb Stone
snip
Personally I see three problems with this one, right off the bat. First off, it effectively usable through 3 fights in a day with the duration, and a fair number of groups I know that's effectively 'every fight you need it for'. Second, it's based off of a magic item property which scales, which means that trying to price it is...problematic at best. Compare the cost increase of a +2 to a +3 weapon to the price of a +9 to +10, and suddenly that price looks so small that it isn't worth not getting, in my opinion. Added to that, it isn't clear what action it is to activate your whetstone. Does it take a standard action? A minute of sharpening your weapon?
It's a neat, simple idea, don't get me wrong...it's just that there are issues I see with the execution.
Thanks ahead of time for any and all feedback
Constantly Morphing Bracers
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 10th
Slot wrist; Price 24,000 gp; Weight 1 lb.
Description
Made from doppelganger hide these bracers slowly change in design, color and material every hour. They may look as simple as plain leather bracers or as ornate as gold inlaid mithral bracers. No matter the appearance the bracers always count as leather. When not worn the bracers revert to sickly grey colored leather.
Once per day as a full round action the wearer may attempt a DC 12 Charisma check to determine the look of the bracers for the next 12 hours. Failure causes the bracers to change in appearance every minute for the next 12 hours.
As a swift action the wearer gains a bonus on their next single combat maneuver (before the end of the round) equal to the target creature’s combat maneuver defense modifier for strength, dexterity or size.
Once per day as a move action the wearer gains a bonus on their next single combat maneuver (before the end of the round) equal to the target creature’s combat maneuver defense modifier for strength, dexterity and size.
The bonus type is chosen when activated from luck, profane or sacred.
When the bracers are activated they briefly change in appearance. Strength causes them to look like muscle fibers. Dexterity causes them to become blurry. Size causes them to quadruple in size. This change occurs during the combat maneuver then reverts to their previous appearance.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, polymorph Cost 12,000gp
Hey everyone, this was my first year submitting an item. I decided to take a chance in the last week of December and submitted this entry near the close of the submission window:
Gunslinger's Hat of High Noon
Aura faint abjuration; CL 3rd
Slot head; Price 4,500 gp; Weight —
Description
This high-crowned, wide-brimmed felt hat bears numerous scuff marks but appears otherwise mundane. The only visible clue to its magical nature is often an arcane symbol embroidered on the inside hat band at the rear of the hat.
Once per day, whenever the wearer is hit by a firearm or ranged attack, he may spend 1 grit point to fuel the hat's protective magic with a portion of his own passion and resilience. The protective magic deflects the hit to strike the hat instead of the wearer. The hat takes no damage from the hit, but it is violently knocked off the head of the wearer and lands 15 feet away from him.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, bullet shield, protection from arrows, grit ability; Cost 2,250 gp
When I was brainstorming up ideas for this year's competition, I was reading the Gunslinger class when the thought popped into my head of that Western cliche of a cowboy getting his hat knocked off by a near-miss bullet during the climatic gunfight. I thought that image made into an item was a neat concept.
In the time between submissions closed and the winners were announced, I started noticing issues with this item upon further reflection:
1. The item as written could negate a +5 magic whatever arrow/bullet/other ranged attack shot by a high level monster or NPC once a day for only 4,500gp and 1 spent grit point. At that price, I realized in a rules-lawyer interpretation a high level gunslinger could buy a dozen hats and stack them on his head with the next hat powering up as the old one popped off. It would've been more balanced had I specified non-magical ranged attacks.
2. I noticed a conceptual issue where the attack is deflected when it hits the wearer. How do you deflect something that has already hit you? It would've read better imo had I changed it to wearer activating the item when targeted by a ranged attack roll but before the results are known.
3. It doesn't cost any PC action to activate the hat. I read on the paizo forum last week that Sean K Reynolds hates activated items that cost less than a standard action to activate. I don't know if that would apply to the spending of a class point pool, but if I had known that ahead of time I would've retooled the item.
Of course my item could've been tossed with the phrase SIAC. :) But I'm pleased with the item. I crammed in a week more item creation minutiae than I ever had known in all my time playing D&D and Pathfinder. I'll be better prepared for Superstar 2013.
EDIT: Forgot to add a thanks to the judges for their hard work. Just knowing my item got looked over by Sean K Reynolds, etc is pretty cool and worth all the effort.
Entroposphere
*Hmmm...playing around with the hardness mechanics. I like the entropy theme woven into it. And, the chosen spells for the construction requirements make sense. I might have swapped out disintegrate for shatter, though. Or at least, included shatter. Tjat said, there could be a place and a purpose for this type of item in the game. I'm inclined to Keep.
*I don't like introducing entropy to the magic item idea because entropy is a very recent scientific concept--the term was invented in 1865, it's actually a younger term than "molecule" (1785).
*But with a spell already in the game like entropic shield isn't that kind of okay?
*That just makes me want to rename the spell to chaotic shield. :)
*I do like that they tell you you only have to roll saves for magic items if the magic item is attacked, that avoids an automatic flurry of saves for all items in the vicinity.
*Hardness/break DCs aren't a very interesting part of the game, and manipulating them isn't very interesting--half of this item's abilities are something you get from a spell that's so unimportant that even though we published it in the old Golarion campaign setting, we didn't bother to update/convert it to the PFRPG in any sourcebook.
*I agree. I actually felt more like a Weak Keep on this one. Even then, I'm not really sure it's worthy of the Top 32. Maybe the Keep pile. At best.
*Reject.
*Reject.
*Rejected.
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Thanks ahead of time!!!
Desna’s Brooch
Aura faint necromancy; CL 3rd
Slot neck; Price 15,600 gp; Weight - lbs.
Description
Desna’s Brooch, or Brooch of Desna, is a finely crafted silver butterfly; it’s wings inlaid with dark glass and speckled with white spots resembling a starry sky. It can be worn as a necklace (if affixed to a chain) or used to secure a cloak. The wearer of the brooch gains the benefit of restful sleep each time he/she rests while wearing the magical trinket. This benefit cannot be received more than once in a 24 hour period. In addition the wearer of the brooch receives a +2 Luck bonus on any perform skill check he/she has ranks in.
Finally, once a day the wearer can call forth a swarm of monarch butterflies. The butterflies appear to come from the brooch itself and occupy the same space as the wearer, clinging to his/her clothing allowing the wearer to fly for no more than 10 minutes. (30 ft movement speed; average maneuverability).
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Items, restful sleep, summon swarm, creator must be a bard or worshipper of Desna; Cost 7,800 gp
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I felt really good about this one. It would be great to know where I went wrong. Thanks much!
Pharasmian Tomb Stone
snipPersonally I see three problems with this one, right off the bat. First off, it effectively usable through 3 fights in a day with the duration, and a fair number of groups I know that's effectively 'every fight you need it for'. Second, it's based off of a magic item property which scales, which means that trying to price it is...problematic at best. Compare the cost increase of a +2 to a +3 weapon to the price of a +9 to +10, and suddenly that price looks so small that it isn't worth not getting, in my opinion. Added to that, it isn't clear what action it is to activate your whetstone. Does it take a standard action? A minute of sharpening your weapon?
It's a neat, simple idea, don't get me wrong...it's just that there are issues I see with the execution.
......*RESOUNDING EXPLETIVE*
I somehow managed to forget to put "as a full-round action". That is AMAZING to me, after how much I obsessed over it! God...I hope that the one I submitted didn't have that omission, and it was something I fixed between the Wordpad copy I have here and what I actually submitted.
If that's what did me in, I'm not sure if that makes it better or worse! Ugh.
Thanks for the feedback!
Dedicated Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 8
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Input appreciated.
Traveler's Cap
Aura faint illusion; CL 1st
Slot head; Price 2400gp; Weight –
This simple, cloth cap always appears as a hat that is fashionable in the wearer's current location, and is appropriate to the sex of whoever wears it. The owner of this hat enjoys a unique advantage in that wherever she goes, she is perceived by the people of that place as a native, effortlessly blending in with whoever she is in the company of. A traveler's cap disguises a character's skin tone, clothing, voice, and body language, making them mirror those of the majority of people around them, and confers upon the wearer a +2 competency bonus on Bluff and Diplomacy checks where being a local would be advantageous, as well as a +2 competency bonus on Knowledge (local) checks. A traveler's cap allows a character to make a Knowledge (local) check untrained, but it does not confer the ability to speak another language or appear as a different race or sex. A traveler's cap takes its cues from the people around it; it mirrors the norms of the social class and homeland of the majority of people in its vicinity. Favored by spies, diplomats, and some wealthier traveling merchants, a traveler's cap even enables the wearer to pepper their speech with appropriate idioms and have an innate knowledge of rules of local etiquette.
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, disguise self, vocal alteration; Cost 1200gp
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Well, looks like I got here a little late. Thank you in advanced for providing your feedback; it's cool enough that this contest exists, but the fact that you'll even grant those of us who lost an honest and useful critique is amazing. Here's my item:
Helm of the Owlbear
Aura moderate transmutation and enchantment; CL 11th
Slot Head; Price 15,000 gp; Weight 10 lbs.
Description
This crude helmet is fashioned from the head and upper pelt of an owlbear, partially covering its wearer’s face with the visage of one of the fearsome hybrids. The helmet grants its wearer some of the fury and vision of an owlbear, providing a +1 morale bonus on Will saves and a +5 competence bonus on Perception checks. If the helm’s wearer has the Rage class feature, it grants him an extra 3 rounds of rage per day.
Additionally, whenever the wearer of the helm is raging, either with the class feature or the rage spell, the helm partially transforms the wearer into an owlbear. Although the wearer’s size category does not change, he gains a +2 size bonus to Strength, two primary claw attacks which each deal 1d6 points of damage (1d4 for if the wearer is small), and a +1 natural armor bonus as a thick coat of feathers sprouts from his skin. If the wearer already has claws when raging, their damage die increases by one step (1d8 for medium, 1d6 for small, etc).
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, beast shape IV, rage Cost 7,500 gp
I felt really good about this one. It would be great to know where I went wrong. Thanks much!
Pharasmian Tomb Stone
I'm not a judge, but I'll offer my 2p. This seems way under-priced for what it does, especially given the duration and uses per day. Compare it to scabbard of keen edges, which also is usable 3 times per day to grant a +1 weapon enhancement, and is priced at 16,000 gp. Also, the similarity to stuff like scabbard of keen edges means that this really isn't Superstar material, even if it might be the sort of thing you'd find in 'Ye Olde Book Of Magickal Items'.
Second page! I hope my item gets a critique!
EDIT: Now that I'm in the line, waiting for the critique, I can relax and properly thank the judges for taking the time to help us become better designers. As everyone else, I'm a bit disappointed with not making the Top 32, but I'm looking at the bright side of the contest and I can trully say that it was a great experience for me! I learned a lot about RPG design and I'm very happy with all the work I've done for this year's contest. Even with my disastrous English I wrote a lot of wondrous items and organizations, so I think I also gained a new rank in Linguistics :P So, thank you all for your time, your advises and, as we say in Argentina, su buena onda (your good predisposition and coolness).
Quill of the Unfading Lore
Aura moderate divination; CL 11th
Slot -; Price 5,400 gp Weight -
DESCRIPTION
This red swan quill has a small silver snake coiled around the shaft, biting its own tail.
Upon command anyone can activate the quill, which animates, floats and writes whatever the user dictates in a legible calligraphy (provided there is ink and a surface to write on). But, despite this magical effect, the main function of the quill of the unfading lore is to store knowledge and memories.
To store lore in it, a new owner must perform an 8-hour ritual using the quill to write his autobiography and, upon completion, must dip the pen in his blood. Thereafter, 3 times per day, anybody can ask a question to the quill by writing the question with it (this usually takes 1 minute, depending of the nature of the question). The quill animates and writes the answer as if it was the owner, using its owner’s ranks in knowledge or relevant skills, plus class skill bonuses (but no other bonuses), and using the owner's knowledge of himself and his environment during the last time he updated the quill.
The owner can even use the quill to ask a question that he previously failed to answer, as the quill stores his knowledge in an orderly, basic and emotionless way. The quill cannot retry failed checks.
The quill’s lore remains stored indefinitely and the owner can update it in a 1-hour ritual. If the quill is broken, subject to a targeted dispel magic, or gets a new owner, all its previous stored lore is deleted and lost forever.
CONSTRUCTION
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, mage hand, share memories, legend lore, creator must have 5 ranks in the Linguistics skill, Cost 2,700 gp
Star Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 9
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What I think I've already figured out. This can be interpreted as plot device. I should have slept on it a bit more. I should have also been a little less wordy, and perhaps a bit less complicated. Looking to get skewered.
Corpse Bread
Aura Moderate Necromancy, Enchantment; CL 9th
Slot-- Price 2500 gp; Weight 1/4lbs.
Description This bread has a tangy, slightly sweet taste. It preserves like hardtack, remaining edible for years. When broken in half, as if to share, it warms up as if just out of the oven. To the living, it is nothing more than part of a tasty, vaguely comforting meal.
To the intelligent undead, the smell of freshly baked bread invokes the memory of the life they once had. They relive the joys and sorrows and terrible beauty of life in excruciating detail. Some have been known to cry tears of blood in memory of what they have lost. All such creatures within 30 feet of the corpse bread must make a DC 22 Will save or be fascinated, as per bard’s song. Feel free to include circumstance bonuses or penalties for such things as the presence of former companions or hated enemies, a beloved spouse preparing the bread etc. Those who make their save are still shaken by their unsettling experience for 1d4 rounds but are then immune to the effects of that loaf.
As with fascinate, those undead that face a potential threat, including such things as the first signs of dawn for a vampire, get another save. However, rather than remaining fascinated those that fail their save respond to the situation as they would if they were still living, but with the knowledge that they will revert to their undead mindset in 2d6 rounds. The fascination ends when the bread cools, typically one hour, or when eaten. The undead will not do this.
Construction Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Threnodic Spell, Reckless Infatuation, Profession: Baker 5, must be prepared over a funeral pyre Cost 1250 gp
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Whether I make it or not, here's my entry (I think I kept it up to date with the final entry).
Chalice of Eternal Fire
Aura moderate conjuration; CL 10th
Slot -; Price 50,000 gp; Weight 2 lbs.
Description
This chalice is crafted of solid gold with tiny inset rubies, forged into a rising whirlwind of flames. From within the chalice leaps a flickering bowl of flames. When held the chalice grants the wielder +1 to their caster level for any spell with the fire descriptor. The chalice has three charges each day, restored at dawn.
Using the chalice as a material focus for conjuration (calling or summoning) spell with the fire descriptor costs one charge. A calling spell increases the maximum hit dice that can be called by 2. Summoning spells grant the advanced simple template to a summoned monster with the fire subtype.
Additionally the wielder of the chalice may call on the power of the plane of fire, as a standard action that costs one charge. The chalice erupts with torrents of flame from the plane of fire, spraying it into the sky and raining down all around the wielder, but leaving them unharmed. All creatures within 30 feet of the chalice except for the wielder take 8d6 fire damage (Reflex DC 16 half).
Last, the wielder may drink the flames from the goblet, transforming their blood into flames and granting resistance to cold and fire, as well as lashing out at those who harm them. For 10 minutes the character gains energy resistance 15 to cold and fire, and any creature that damages the character with a non-reach melee attack takes 1d6 fire damage. Using this ability consumes 1 charge.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, fireball, lesser planar binding or lesser planar ally, resist energy; Cost 25,000 gp
I...think I just double-posted and made myself look like a newb. Which is fitting! Anyway, I thought I'd return the favor and try to offer an opinion on your item Cy, since you were so kind. =)
This thing is pretty righteous. Drinking fire is an extremely metal thing to do, and could lead to some HILARIOUS pranks among goblinkind.
All that I can think of is that the wording is a little inelegant here and there. When you talk about the creatures getting hit for 8d6 fire damage, might it not have been easier to simply make it a Flame Strike? You could also have tightened up the presentation a little. Maybe saying "At the cost of 1 charge, the wielder can -" and then list all the options that cost 1 charge, rather than spreading them out.
Also - it does kind of a lot. This is not an inexpensive item, so it should be kickass...but perhaps it covers a little too much ground?
Just my two coppers.
Thank you in advance for your time and input, all.
Key to the Soul’s Prison
Aura faint necromancy; CL 7th
Slot - ; Price 6,000 gp; Weight -
Description
The Key to the Soul’s Prison is a small, angular vial of obsidian stoppered by a cork of mandrake root. It bears the inscription, “I release my soul from its fleshy prison.” written in Draconic. It holds exactly one dose of any liquid poison. When a creature takes a standard action to speak the inscribed phrase aloud and drink the poison held within, the creature is immediately reduced to -1 hit points and the imbiber’s soul is released. The soul has all of the attributes of the ghost template (Bestiary 144) except for the Special Attacks, and it is anchored to within 500 ft of its corpse.
If the imbiber’s corpse is damaged further, down to its negative constitution score, the body is destroyed and the soul becomes a true ghost which can be brought back to life by magical means. If the imbiber’s corpse is healed back to a positive hit point total, the soul is immediately returned to the corpse and the imbiber regains consciousness, retaining all knowledge it gained when its soul was free. The corpse will take 1 point of damage per hour from decay until reaching the imbiber’s negative Constitution score, at which point the body is considered destroyed.
A dose of poison must be stored within the vial for 24 hours before it can cause this effect.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, accelerate poison, dimensional anchor Cost 3,000 gp
I'm guessing Swiss Army Knife!
Astrolabe of the Mesmerizing Heavens
Not a judge, but, in my opinion, more a matter of spell-in-a-can and way overpriced. 12k gold for an item that can be ignored with a mere DC 14 Will save is simply massively underpowered. Even ignoring the SIAC/SAK problems, I would either increase the save DC or decrease the price by a significant amount. It's off by far too much to be a reasonable ballpark right now.
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So, at 292 words, here's my Music Box of Mementos:
Music Box of Mementos
Aura faint enchantment; CL 11th
Slot none; Price 10000 gp; Weight 1 lbs.
Description
This ornate clockwork music box plays a chirpy tune when activated by opening the lid. If a willing creature holds the box near her ear and concentrates on the music, she will replay an experience previously stored in the box, as if dreaming it vividly.
The maximum length of the stored memento is 3 minutes. When replaying an experience, the recipient is rendered unconscious and able to feel only the recorded memento. The replayed experience includes sight, sound, touch, smell and taste (except if the creature who stored the memento was blind or deaf). Once initiated, if the recipient wants to end the replay prematurely, she must succeed at a DC 25 Will save.
If the memento includes the subject being affected by a condition, that condition will affect the recipent, and once the replay has ended, will linger for double the length of the memento. Possible conditions are: blinded, confused, cowering, dazed, dazzled, deafened, exhausted, fascinated, fatigued, frightened, nauseated, panicked, shaken, sickened, staggered or stunned.
Aditionally, if the memento includes the subject casting just one memorized spell of up to 3rd level, the recipient will be able to cast that spell one round after the replay ends. The box can grant this ability only once per day.
At the GM's discretion, extraordinary abilities such as a barbarian's rage can also be recorded, replayed, and used while the memento is lingering.
Replacing the memento with a new experience requires 15 minutes, and successful DC 25 Disable Device and DC 15 Spellcraft checks. Only experiences no older than one hour can be recorded.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Memory Lapse, Mage's Lucubration; Cost 5000 gp
My guess at why didn't it make it: in my effort to make the item interesting, I complicated the mechanics too much. I added the ability to record and replicate extraordinary abilities, but if I wanted to balance things, I would have sttepped over the 300 word limit.
The wording I had in mind was along the lines of
If the memento includes the subject casting just one memorized spell of up to 3rd level, or using just one extraordinary ability that can be attained by a creature with up to 5 HD or character levels, then the recipient will be able to cast that spell or activate that extraordinary ability.
Point being: 5th level barbarian rage powers re OK. 6th level barbarian rage powers are not. Unfortunately that wording put me over 300, and resorted to the "At the GM's discretion" line, which I think was the trigger for rejection.
Regarding the item itself, I didn't want to make something that PCs would want. I wanted something that GMs would want as a MacGuffin. Note the complete lack of backstory, as this item screams "rich people own a couple of these to remember important events in their lives".
About the price: as this is just a fancy ring of spell storing, so I used that as a base.
In retrospect, I'd better left out the stuff acout conditions, and put some limits to the extraordinary-ability-in-a-can effect: level (or HD) cap, and same creature type (humanoid, construct, etc).
I would like to know if I'm right at my guesses or not.
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Astrolabe of the Mesmerizing Heavens
*Ouch, Cheapy. I'm going to have to sanitize the judges' comments on this one a bit.
*First, it got reviewed and rejected by three judges. The fourth never saw it.
*Primarily, you were done it by a handful of things. Mostly, I think it was the writing itself. The whole descriptive paragraph reads like a grouping of run-on sentences full of numeric variables, both in describing the physical form of the astrolabe as well as how it functions. There's references to multiple types of actions. Multiple powers that just seem to roll one into the other with little separation. And it just came across as unfocused.
*Another judge questioned the price of the item as compared to what it does. He didn't see the perceived value in it.
*A third judge had nothing more to say other than, "Reject."
*If I'm coaching you, I'd say you did a decent job on using the template...however, there's no such thing as a "medium" aura. You should have gone with "moderate." Also, when you reference a sub-skill for Craft, Knowledge, or Perform, you need to lowercase the word in parentheses...e.g., Knowledge (planes).
*Beyond that, I think you really need to work on your clarity. You're correct in that there are some SAK elements to this design. But they're compounded by how they're all jammed together within the text. You came in at 296 words. To me, that tells me you probably had trouble trimming this item back. And maybe, as a result, the flow and clarity of your descriptive text (both in terms of flavor and the discussion of its mechanics) suffered for it.
A great pleasure to be able to take part in this competition. Thanks for the opportunity and for the feedback.
Circlet of the Spectral Eye
Aura faint divination and necromancy; CL 9th
Slot head; Price 18,000 gp; Weight -
Description
This finely crafted bronze circlet features a closed eye in the centre of its design. The eye flashes open when the item is activated. Once per day as a standard action the wearer of this circlet can release a wave of spectral probing. The wave detects and targets all living creatures within a 30-foot radius. All unwilling targets are allowed a DC 17 Will save to avoid detection. The wearer may select a single target who has failed their save and remotely possess one of their senses - sight, smell or hearing - for up to 1 minute. The effect lasts the full minute even if the target moves beyond the 30-foot radius. The wearer may end the effect at any time as an immediate action. The target is unaware of the possession and merely shares the selected sense with the wearer. During the possession the wearer must maintain concentration and cannot perform any other actions besides ending the effect. The wearer may extend the duration of the effect by an additional minute, but doing so has a debilitating effect on the wearer’s own natural senses once the possession ends. The extended use causes the wearer to be stricken with blindness, deafness or the loss of their sense of smell (depending on which sense was possessed through the circlet) for 1d4+1 minutes.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Detect Thoughts, Magic Jar Cost 9,000 gp
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Star Voter Season 6
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Thanks for doing this!
Phantasmagoric Crystal
Aura moderate divination and illusion; CL 11th
Slot —; Price 19,000 gp; Weight 6 lbs.
Description
Greatly coveted by illusionists, this 6 inch polyhedral crystal emits a myriad of pale colors when held before a light source. Once per day, the possessor can activate the crystal to create a floating, invisible mote in the possessor’s location.
As long as the crystal and the mote are on the same plane, the possessor can peer into the crystal to see and hear events in the mote’s location. The user can view in all directions from the mote, but magically or supernaturally enhanced senses do not work through it. While the phantasmagoric crystal is activated, any illusion (figment) spells cast by the possessor that have a range greater than touch may originate from the mote instead of from the caster’s own location. The spells otherwise function normally.
Creatures in the mote’s location can detect its presence with see invisibility, true seeing, or similar means. A targeted dispel magic will dismiss the mote, as will an antimagic field or mage’s disjunction spell. Alternatively, the possessor of the crystal can dismiss the mote as a free action. Dismissal of the mote prevents the caster from maintaining concentration on any ongoing spells cast through the crystal, but does not otherwise interfere with those spells.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, clairaudience/clairvoyance, programmed image; Cost 9,500 gp
This was my first time submitting and I just wrote up the first thing I though about. So I suspect that the judges found my item boring and unoriginal. But I might as well take whatever feedback I can get:
Mask of the Gaudy Eavesdropper
Aura faint divination and transmutation; CL 5th
Slot head; Price 24,000 gp; Weight 5 lbs.
Description
This large ivory mask has exaggerated facial features and resembles the ceremonial headgear of primitive shamans. It is prized for its detachable sensory organs which grant the wearer powers of remote observation. The mask includes six organs constructed from various metals: two silver eyes, two gold ears, one bronze nose, and one iron tongue. The wearer of the mask can remove or reattach a sensory organ as a standard action. Optionally, the wearer may attach the sensor to another surface to which the organ will affix itself. This surface may be vertical, horizontal, or part of a more complex object such as a statue.
When any sensory organ is separated from the mask, the wearer can perceive through it as if using her own senses (seeing through the eyes, hearing through the ears, smelling through the nose, and tasting through the tongue). This ability functions as long as the mask and the sensor are on the same plane. Although the mask does not provide any sensory capabilities beyond those possessed by the wearer, any abilities she uses to enhance her senses, such as arcane sight, function normally through the sensors. Harmful effects, such as stinking cloud do not affect the wearer through the sensors.
The mask provides no special protection to its detached organs; they have AC 9, 5 hit points, hardness 8, and a break DC of 24. Any organ that is destroyed regrows on the mask in 1d4 days.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, clairaudience/clairvoyance, make whole; Cost 12,000 gp
Thanks!
Cloak of Sidhe
Aura moderate abjuration, divination, and transmutation CL9th
Slot shoulders Price 80,000GP Weight 1lb
Description
This cloak, when found, is black with silver symbols, but the wearer can change it's color at will. The first Cloak of Sidhe, also called the Cloak of the First World, was said to have been a gift from powerful fey to a mortal woman. But even though those the names were lost to time, the secret to make them has not.
The main power of the cloak is to locate portals to the first world(range 60ft), the cloak's symbols glow green when near such portals and if the wearer concentrates, can learn the direction, number, and how to activate them. The cloak also works in reverse on the First World to locate an exit to the prime material but in this case the symbols glow blue.
The cloak posses the following abilities.
-endure elements
-woodland stride
-+2 luck bonus on saves vs fey
-+2 compentance bonus cha based skills with fey
The cloak posses the folling abilities when in natural settings
-3/day-dancing lights, know direction
-1/day-pass without trace(self), speak with animals
-1/week-commune with nature
The following powers only function in the First World or with 1 mile of a known portal.
-at will-dancing lights, know direction
-1/day-faerie fire, see invisible
It is rumored that the original cloaks from the first world had additional powers such as shapeshifting, speaking with the dead, or even the ability to become invisible.
Construction
Requirmentscraft wondrous items, commune with nature, dancing lights, detect magic, endure elements, faerie fire, know direction, pass without trace, speak with animals Cost40,000GP
Mirror of Monstrous Echoes
Aura moderate illusion and transmutation; CL 5th
Slot --; Price 14,000 gp; Weight 1 lb.
Description
This silver-handled mirror shows glimpses of terrible monsters just beyond the edge of sight to those who gaze into it for too long. As a standard action at will, the wielder can direct the mirror to capture the image of a creature that is within 30 feet and visible to the wielder. The mirror can only hold a single stored visage at a time, but can hold it indefinitely; any attempt to capture an image fails if the mirror already holds an image. As long as the mirror holds a captured visage, the wielder is unaffected by the gaze attack of any creature of the same kind.
As a standard action, the wielder can release the captured visage by holding up the mirror and speaking the command word. When the image is released, the mirror gains the creature's gaze attack for 3 consecutive rounds as the image appears on the mirror's surface, with the same effect and saving throw (including DC) as if it were the creature itself. The wielder can select any number of allies in the area to be unaffected by this gaze attack. As an standard action while the gaze attack is active, the wielder can direct the mirror to actively gaze at a target within range. The mirror's wielder is considered to be the origin of the gaze attack for purposes of concealment from a target averting its eyes or preventing itself from seeing the mirror. Until the image fades at the end of the third round, the mirror is still considered to be holding the image.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Selective Spell, enter image, symbol of mirroring; Cost 7,000 gp
I'm hoping that my item got into the Keep folder, but got dropped in favor of the sexier and more edgy Haunting Glass and Spellblight Cage, which are very similar in general concept.
Not a judge, but, in my opinion, more a matter of spell-in-a-can and way overpriced. 12k gold for an item that can be ignored with a mere DC 14 Will save is simply massively underpowered. Even ignoring the SIAC/SAK problems, I would either increase the save DC or decrease the price by a significant amount. It's off by far too much to be a reasonable ballpark right now.I'm guessing Swiss Army Knife!
Astrolabe of the Mesmerizing Heavens
It's that damn slotless multiplier, really.
Holy Man's Flask
*Hmmm. This is an item you'd keep around to transmute any "useless" potions you discovered as treasure into more useful cure potions. Or, if you were in a bind and badly needed healing, but didn't have any cure potions on hand, you could sacrifice a different potion to obtain one.
*At least they curbed its power by making sure it changes the potion to one of an equivalent level. I could see this being used now and then. Is it worth 6,000 gp? Yeah, maybe. There are certain circumstances where you'd be willing make sure you had this on hand for emergencies.
*In addition, the design itself is rock solid on presentation and
professional polish. This could be a designer worth keeping around.
*Vote to Keep.
*Reject.
*This is good for a book of items but not Superstar. Every year we have a boring "make it into a healing potion" item. And every year I say the same thing--this is not that inspired.
*Reject.
*Rejected.
Swifttouch Gloves
*Brace yourself. We were not kind.
*Wow. You're really going to drop that entire paragraph at the end into your wondrous item submission for RPG Superstar when we've strongly advised against it before? The Whispering Tyrant is the penultimate villain of Golarion and I have a hard time believing this was one of his favored items. I think he's got plenty more powerful mojo to bring to bear.
*As for the core idea of the item itself, swift action empowerment in a wondrous item isn't something to champion just because you want to get off your touch spells more quickly. Wondrous items generally require an action to use. That's part of the built-in economy of actions in the game...i.e., the game is supposed to be about hard choices between which actions to take. This item lets you avoid having to make that kind of choice. And not in a way that's good for the game.
*Vote to Reject.
*You were well on your way to creating an actual wondrous item. Description sentence. Activation and powers. Not exciting, but serviceable.
*And then it happens. You just couldn't resist, could you?
"The creation of this item dates far back to the cyclopean empires of ancient Golarion; but the height of their popularity came during the rule of the Whispering Tyrant, who himself wore a much more powerful version of the gloves that gave him the swift touch ability at will along with several other potent powers. Most arcane casters serving the Whispering Tyrant possessed these items, which can still be found today throughout Ustalav in ancient ruins, haunted crypts, and battlefield sites."
*REJECT
*Rejected.
Well, I said I wanted to know what I did wrong, so...
Claw of the Four Dragons
Aura Strong Evocation; CL 12th
Slot wrists ; Price 64,000 gp; Weight – lbs.
Description
This bracelet is made to resemble a copper, bronze, gold, and silver dragon winding around the wearer’s wrist. Scales appear to grow from its wearer’s skin. His hands appear to become dragon claws and crackle with power.
The Claw of the Four Dragons grants a character wearing it a +4 natural armor bonus to his AC. Once every 4 rounds, the wearer can activate the item as a free action and deal an extra 2d6 of energy damage, fire, cold, acid, or electricity, wearer’s choice, on all unarmed strikes until the start of the character’s next turn. This damage does not stack with the Elemental Fist feat. The character wearing the Claw of the Four Dragons is also granted resist 20 to the energy type chosen, but is vulnerable to the opposing type for four rounds, i.e. a character choosing fire gains resist fire 20 and vulnerability to cold, and a character choosing acid gains resist acid 20 and vulnerability to electricity, and vice versa.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, acid arrow, form of the dragon I, flame strike, lightning bolt, chill metal, Craft(Jewelry); Cost 32,000 gp
Lay it on me.
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Dedicated Voter Season 6
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Whoo.
Okay.
I went over a billion things in my head after submission. I cut down a lot of the lore, so I really would love to know the honest truth on this item.
Hashi of the Impassioned Dawnflower
Aura faint varied; CL 4th
Slot Head; Weight --; Price 4,500 g
Description:
This pair of long and tapered chopsticks are made from a dusky rose quartz, engraved with images of a shapely woman embracing and raising the sun. The tips are shod with gold that glows a faint pink.
The chopsticks are intended as hair ornamentation, and are worn at the back of the head.
Intended for priestesses of the Sun Goddess, this item brings her wrath upon the undead. If the wearer has the Channel Energy ability and uses it to damage undead, those affected take an additional 1d6 fire damage and risk catching fire as holy blue flames engulf the enemy(reflex save DC 15, 1d6 fire damage each round until successful reflex save).
This item can be used for eating, as well. When removed from hair, the hashi can be used to purify 3 pounds of food per 24 hour period, as per the spell Purify Food and Water. Any food purified by the chopsticks becomes significantly more spicy.
Construction: Craft Wondrous Item, Channel Energy, Purify Food and Water ; Cost: 2,250
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Shard of the Pilfering Leech
*Bad punctuation, especially wrt apostrophes.
*"non lethal" damage.
*Language needs a lot of tightening.
*Reject.
*I didn't really find the core idea of this item all that compelling. I mean, it's a simple enough item that can get rid of some debilitating conditions or siphon off a poison. I mean there are a number of spells that can lift these conditions as well. So, in many ways, this is just a bunch of strange flavor wrapped around some SIAC effects.
*Aside from that, we get enough presentation problems that it gives me worries, too. Game terminology like the fatigued, shaken, sickened, and nauseated conditions are never capitalized. Spells need to be italicized (and considering they knew enough about BBCode to bold the tags on each line, you'd think they'd know how to do that, too).
*Vote to Reject.
*Rejected.
Thanks in advance for any critique of my entry. It is, as always, very much appreciated!!
The Deadeye's Snuff
Aura moderate divination and transmutation; CL 7th
Slot -; Price 6,500 gp; Weight -
Description
Almost black in appearance, this deep red tobacco is traditionally spun into long rope-like strands, enchanted, and cut into 10 smaller pieces. As the user chews on a portion of the snuff (a standard action which provokes an attack of opportunity) an unusual calm and focus envelops them. For the next hour any ranged attack made with a thrown or projectile weapon has it's first range increment extended by 10 feet.
If the user possesses the grit resource, spending a point of grit immediately cancels the previous effect and allows them to harness their enhanced focus and let fly a single shot at their highest bonus up to their weapon's maximum range as a ranged touch attack while suffering no penalty for range, ignoring concealment provided by fog or mist, blur, displacement, invisibility, and similar effects. A person can only benefit from one dose of this tobacco each day. Attempting to use another forces a DC 13 Fortitude save, with failure indicating the user is nauseated for 1d3 rounds.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, longshot, hunter's eye; Cost 3,250 gp
Here's mine, as I said I'd do. I'm betting it walks too close to SIAC/SAK territory without enough "cool." I also noticed, after submitting of course, that I did not state what kind of transformation. I cut a lot of words to "streamline" the submission after first writing it up. Now I'm thinking that was a bad idea. ;)
Pendant of Phoenix Ashes
Aura strong conjuration; CL 13th
Slot neck; Price 130,000 gp; Weight - lbs.
Description
Once per day the wearer transforms into a Medium phoenix by speaking the command word. This fiery metamorphosis deals 4d6 fire damage to anyone adjacent to him (Reflex DC 20 half). The change grants the wearer fire resistance 20 (per resist energy), fly 60 feet (good), two talon attacks dealing 1d4+1d6 fire damage each, and a bite attack dealing 1d6+1d6 fire damage. These melee attacks are made using the wearer’s highest attack bonus. The transformation lasts for six rounds.
Should the wearer die while wearing this crystalline pendant, it shatters. The warm, fine ash housed within it covers his body. On his turn the next round, the wearer is resurrected per the resurrection spell. The ash and pendant are rendered useless.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, beast shape III, elemental aura (fire), resist energy (fire), resurrection; Cost 65,000 gp
Thanks for running the contest. It's always interesting and some pretty neat ideas. Here's my item, any critique is appreciated.
Phial of Deceiving Vapors
Aura faint conjuration; CL 4
Slot --; Price 2,500gp; Weight –
Description
A small ivory phial which can be filled with any visible vapour, such as steam, smoke, or incense. After one full day in the phial, the vapour takes on magical properties. The Vapors can be inhaled, and if held in the lungs for one round or longer, when exhaled will form into 1d6 + 3 cloudy figures which will immediately begin to walk away from the character in random directions at the character’s base speed. These figures will leave tracks which exactly match the character’s footprints, and which carry the character’s scent. Anyone attempting to determine which is the character’s true trail, either visually or by scent, must make a Perception skill check with a DC of 18 + 1 for each of the figures created.
The vapour figures will travel in only one direction, never diverting more than 5 feet from their original path to avoid obstacles. They cannot pass through solid objects but pliable obstacles such as branches or ropes can be moved out of their way. The figures will travel at a walking pace for 20 minutes after their creation and then dissipate, leaving only their tracks behind. The figures cannot be mistaken for the character by sight, and will take no action other than walking.
Due to the need for relaxed breathing, the phial cannot be used while in combat and requires the use of a standard action and will provoke an attack of opportunity. If not inhaled in the round the phial is opened, the Vapors escape and are lost. The phial can be refilled once it is empty.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, summon monster II Cost 1,250gp
The Kingfisher’s Cloak
*Eh. A dazzling display just for emerging from the water like a kingfisher? And then you get 1 round of fly? The most potent element to this item is the ability to wield weapons (melee or thrown) underwater without any penalty. Why isn't freedom of movement getting invoked for that rather than water breathing?
*Not very well thought through in terms of abilities and existing game mechanics. I don't think this designer is ready yet.
*Vote to Reject.
*Much of this is a variant of the helm of underwater action.
*Reject.
*Reject.
*Rejected.
Feedback appreciated, judges, rough comments and all. Thanks. :)
Suspension of Reckoning
Aura faint divination; CL 5th
Slot -; Price 250 gp; Weight -
Description
Tiny organs of various creatures are suspended in this greasy substance. As a standard action, a vial of the substance may be used to coat a weapon or up to 20 units of ammunition. As part of the same action, the substance must also be applied to the user's face to create a link between the suspension and the user for 1 hour.
When a creature is first struck by the coated weapon or ammunition, the suspension grants a +10 competence bonus to the user on a knowledge check as a free action. The type of check granted is dependent upon the area of the face where the suspension has been applied.
Forehead: Arcana
Ears: Dungeoneering
Eyes: Local
Nose: Nature
Temples: Planes
Tongue: Religion
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item; Cost 125 gp
Skin Mask of Spell Meddling
*This is pretty darn powerful considering it has no limit. As long as you've got a spell of the same level as the target spell, you can sabotage or capture it...as an immediate action. This goes above and beyond counterspelling. And not in a good way, in my opinion. It's also needlessly complex. It would considerably slow down gameplay everytime this thing got invoked by a player as the GM has to determine the minimization of all the variable numeric effects of the original spell.
*I also really hate the name.
*Vote to Reject.
*Minimum damage on an enemy spell 1/day is pretty cool.
*I'm not really sure what the "Alternatively..." paragraph lets you do. "the spell previously chosen by the wearer"... huh? The one you expended to meddle with your opponent's spell?
*DC based on user's HD/ability mods? No thank you.
*Reject.
*Rejected.
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Scabbard of the Scallywag
*Heh. Okay, I get the pirate theme and relative cinematic qualities the designer is going for. It's just a bit niche. A +10 bonus on Climb and Swim plus feather fall just isn't Superstar.
*Vote to Reject.
*Reject.
*Nice try. Hoping for the upcoming AP to give some love. No dice.
*Reject.
*Rejected.
Thanks, as always, for the amazing contest, the unending dedication, and the great feedback :) Hit me with all you've got!
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 11th
Slot --; Price 20,100 gp; Weight 2 lbs.
The bone-carved handles of these masterwork thieves’ tools are rough to the touch. Wisps of energy form along the lockpicks’ edges with every motion, trailing briefly in the air before fading away.
When employed to disarm a trap, the intricate motions of the tools tease forth lingering spirits, victims of the trap and its surroundings. The user hears their whispers and murmurings all about her, telling of their deaths and granting the user a +3 Insight bonus to her Disable Device check.
Once a day, upon a successful Disable Device check to disarm a trap, the lockpicks can bind these spirits into the trap’s mechanism. The trap becomes possessed, controlled at the user’s behest. The spirits reveal to her the trap’s nature and area of effect. The trap’s normal trigger is suspended; the user may trigger it as though using the Cunning Trigger rogue talent (she may thus choose to bypass the trap). Whenever prying inside the trap’s workings with the lockpicks (a standard action), the user may select one target creature within line of sight. The spirits reach out to this target, attempting drag the target towards the trap’s area of effect (a drag combat maneuver via telekinesis, CMB +15). The user controls the trap and its components with great finesse; foes suffer -2 circumstance penalties to AC and saving throws against the trap once triggered.
The spirits possess the trap as long as the user remains within 30 feet of it; should she go farther, they disperse, ending the effect. The lockpicks work only on traps which have remained in place for two weeks or longer.
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, speak with dead, telekinesis; Cost 10,000 gp
Quickrift Chalk
*It's a passwall-in-a-stick-of-chalk. We've seen this item many times. It's pretty much exactly where everyone's mind goes when the notion of magic chalk comes up. It's not innovative in the slightest. The designer also didn't proofread this submission thoroughly enough. They've got a "the this" in there. They also clearly know how to use BBCode with the bolded headers, but didn't bother to italicize or alphabetize the spell names. And they left off a comma on the cost, but used one on the price. You add that up and it's enough of a lack of attention to detail that I think they're not ready yet anyway.
*Vote to Reject.
*Makes adventuring easy. And cheap.
*Vote to Reject.
*Rejected.
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*puts on wannabe-judge hat*
I hope no-one will take my opinion harshly...
Entroposphere
I see two things: one, the use of entroposphere versus sphere; two, an item with "entropy" in its description should affect lawful and chaotic creatures, not items' hardness.
I'm guessing Swiss Army Knife!
Astrolabe of the Mesmerizing Heavens
IMHO, Fascinate-in-a-can, plus... formatting errors! Spell names need to be italized, and please, please use line breaks.
Swifttouch Gloves
Backstory is an auto-reject, pal...
Shard of the Pilfering Leech
Spells and conditions should be italized. Besides, I think "ioun stone in fancier form". And we got like 40 kinds of iouns already.
The Kingfisher’s Cloak
What's a Kingfisher?
The killer for me is the "The cloak grants the user the hold breath special quality". Hold Breath is not a "special quality", it's a extraordinary ability. If I were a judge, I'd stop reading there.
Scabbard of the Scallywag
Double-check your grammar before submitting!!:
«the wielder acts as if under the effects feather fall»
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Aura moderate abjuration and divination; CL 11th
Slot head; Price 30,160 gp; Weight 3 lbs.
This open-faced, polished steel helm often appears elegantly adorned with a few owl or peacock feathers, but otherwise it is of sturdy, utilitarian design. Donning the helm immediately causes the wearer to feel more focused, alert, and poised. The helm grants its wearer a +2 competence bonus to Perception skill checks and saving throws versus fear and sleep effects. In addition, this measured calm grants the wearer the ability to retaliate in combat with preternatural skill and precision when the opportunity arises.
Once per day a wearer who is using the total defense action may, as an immediate action, attempt one of the following combat maneuvers against an adjacent opponent: dirty trick, disarm, grapple, reposition, steal, sunder, or trip. This combat maneuver check receives a +20 insight bonus to the attack roll and does not provoke attacks of opportunity.
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Quicken Spell, remove fear, true strike; Cost 15,080 gp
Mostly curious to see if my item had enough going for it that the judges didn't Reject it instantly when they saw I forgot to include the freaking item name in the body of my submission post. (On a related note, if anyone knows a 9th level cleric who can cast atonement, could you put me in touch with them please??)
I feel like it was probably a little too mundane for much discussion, but any feedback from the judges (apart from how weaksauce my attention to detail was on this occassion) would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!
Gibber Bane
*Ouch. I hope you have some thick skin. We were not kind.
*A hair ball? Your Superstar submission idea is a hair ball?
*Vote to Reject.
*(No saving throw, too... ancient red dragon has to spend a standard action clearing its mouth so it can use its 20d10 breath weapon.)
*Reject.
*Rejected.
I think I might know why this one was rejected ("blind but not blind" and SIAC), but I would love to hear the judges feedback. Thank you very much for the opportunity and I look forward to attempting again next year.
Lenses of Shared Sight
Aura moderate divination; CL 10th
Slot eye slot; Price 15,000 gp; Weight 1/4 lb.
Description
These two crystal lenses allow two allies to share a single pair of eyes. On command, the wearer of one of the lenses may choose to become the receiver, making his ally the sender. The receiver instantly gains the ability to see through the eyes of the receiver, gaining the benefits of any nonmagical special abilities his ally has tied to vision (such as low-light vision), but uses his own Perception skill. Both wearers are aware when the item activates and either may end its effects as a free action at any time.
The receiver gains line of sight (but not line of effect) from the sender for the duration of the effect. Any targeted attacks the receiver makes take a -2 penalty to the attack roll and, if the sender does not have line of sight to the receiver, the receiver is denied his Dexterity bonus to AC. The allies must be within 1 mile of each other for the link to work. If the distance between the two allies is greater than 1 mile, the lenses immediately deactivate.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, share senses; Cost 7,500 gp
Tome of Vile Training
*It's an archetype-in-a-can and a template-in-a-can...for your familiar? I guess someone really wanted to have an archetype round this year and found a way to squeeze it into their wondrous item submission. This isn't the place to explore this type of mechanic.
*Also, I'm annoyed that they left off "Construction" above "Requirements"...and, if they can bold the headers, they should know enough to italicize the spell names and capitalize "Medium" in the descriptive text as game terminology.
*Vote to Reject.
*This isn't an item. It's a familiar modification procedure. And while I like the idea, that's not the point. This is NOT a wondrous item.
*Reject.
*Rejected.
Esteemed Judges,
Thank you once again for volunteering your time and offering this thread.
I am truly hoping for some good critiquing, as without it I will never know my missteps, nor what I may be doing well (just not well enough).
Without further ado;
Eavesdropper's Torc
Aura faint illusion, moderate divination, and moderate evocation;
CL 9th
Slot neck; Price 24,000 gp; Weight 1 lb.
Description This gleaming mithril necklace, crafted in aristocratic style, bears arcane glyphs related to communication, distance, and secrecy.
When placed about the neck, the powers of an eavesdropper's torc become apparent to the wearer. These torcs possess a minor glamer which enables the wearer to change the torc to appear as another type of neckwear, such as; an amulet, brooch, pendant, or scarf. The torc's primary ability allows the wearer to spend a full-round action, attuning him to a chosen site or location - no larger than a 20 ft. radius - which provides the following benefits;
He may see or hear (wearer's choice) any activity in an attuned area, as if scrying through a crystal ball or similar device.
He is immediately aware when someone enters an attuned site; if his name is spoken (the wearer hears his name and the following twenty-four words the speaker utters).
An attuned location counts as "very familiar" for the purposes of a teleport spell, and last, the attuned area is permanent, however, only three such locations may exist at a time. If a fourth attunement is attempted, the first site is lost, in favor of the new area.
The craftsmanship and materials alone are worth 1,500 gp.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, craft (metalworking) 5 ranks, clairaudience/clairvoyance, disguise self, sending; Cost 13,500 gp
I was inspired by Belgarath the Sorcerer (from David Eddings series the Belgariad, among others) with this item. As well as an ability that the Chosen of Mystra from the Forgotten Realms setting had.
I think I may have some idea about what I might not have done well enough, but I would like to hear the good, as well as the bad.
Thank you.
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Star Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8
aka ugly child
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The Kingfisher’s Cloak*Eh. A dazzling display just for emerging from the water like a kingfisher? And then you get 1 round of fly? The most potent element to this item is the ability to wield weapons (melee or thrown) underwater without any penalty. Why isn't freedom of movement getting invoked for that rather than water breathing?
*Not very well thought through in terms of abilities and existing game mechanics. I don't think this designer is ready yet.
*Vote to Reject.
*Much of this is a variant of the helm of underwater action.
*Reject.
*Reject.
*Rejected.
Many thanks for the feedback Neil, I was seeing it as a competitor for the cloak of the manta ray.