"Uhhhh....I'ah found ah rewd peeter. Can I-ah choke 'm? Then stab 'em?"
Well, crap. Sorry Jyg'g. Looks like your blades won't be seeing much action today. Hopefully the rest of the group is having better luck.
"Juzt joo wait! I'llz finda somthin' susspiceous! Oone persen lookah meh funnay and..." he makes a guttural slicing noise as he crisscrosses both of his daggers across his neck in the air.
"Juzt poynt da way, Baz!"
*snikt*
Once settled with Goldie, Pipp gets to the matter at hand. "We're looking for 3 pigs. But not just any pigs... Although some ham sounds delicious... but 3 particularly nasty pigs. Villainous pigs, even!" Pipp provides a brief description.
<practices swinging his daggers in preparation for the next kill. No discrimination: all bipeds are worthy opponents>
*snickt* *snickt*
Once settled with Goldie, Pipp gets to the matter at hand. "We're looking for 3 pigs. But not just any pigs... Although some ham sounds delicious... but 3 particularly nasty pigs. Villainous pigs, even!" Pipp provides a brief description.
The beautiful half elf taps her teeth with one long nail before speaking,"Oh I know just who you mean darlings, the question is what are you willing to do for me... or to me, in order to get said information?". As Goldie says this she shrugs her slender shoulders, and almost as if it had a mind of it's own, her dress slips down reaveling her majestic breast.
Aevelyn walks over to him and starts stroking his hair, and other, ahem things, Are you sure you don't remember anything?
Simon stutters, his interest more than obvious."Well now since you put it that way, I did once deliver a large shipment of straw to a little pig fella what lived in the forest a while back. I could show ya where I made the drop if'n you'd like."It is obvious that Simon is as simple as his name, and is quite enchanted with the ex whore.
Simon stutters, his interest more than obvious."Well now since you put it that way, I did once deliver a large shipment of straw to a little pig fella what lived in the forest a while back. I could show ya where I made the drop if'n you'd like."It is obvious that Simon is as simple as his name, and is quite enchanted with the ex whore.
Aevelyn gives him a big hug, while rolling her eyes at the simpletons actions to Malfleur. "Could you please take us there, I would really appreciate it." She whispers into his ear.
To the Happy Tramp, uh I mean the bar, Aevelyn. We need a party to have some fun. Plus, I want the traveling skewer for when we find the pigs.
"Sorry there, Simon, I have to go see some old friends, but I will come back, you cutie you!"
Once we are well out of earshot, Aevelyn scrubs her hands off in a nearby fountain of water, "Disgusting! I will smell like straw for weeks!"
The beautiful half elf taps her teeth with one long nail before speaking,"Oh I know just who you mean darlings, the question is what are you willing to do for me... or to me, in order to get said information?". As Goldie says this she shrugs her slender shoulders, and almost as if it had a mind of it's own, her dress slips down reaveling her majestic breast.
Skia leans forward on the table so that her face is only a few inches from Goldie's. "That all depends on your preferences for payment." Once again, her tongue darts out of her mouth to play across her lips. "I warn you though, I tend to get a little overzealous when making payment for services and people have been known to require healing afterwards. Of course since I can also heal them, the act of laying my hands on your body afterwards comes free of charge." She gives a tiny laugh and looks unblinkingly into Goldie's eyes as she awaits a response.
"My, this is just like a real adventure!" Pipp says to himself under his breath.
The beautiful half elf taps her teeth with one long nail before speaking,"Oh I know just who you mean darlings, the question is what are you willing to do for me... or to me, in order to get said information?". As Goldie says this she shrugs her slender shoulders, and almost as if it had a mind of it's own, her dress slips down reaveling her majestic breast.
For my part, well, I'm sure you've heard that Lord Hermes demands that his priests meet certain minimum physical qualifications that match his public role as manifested in the sacred herms -- minimum requirements that are at the very least, quiet generous. If, fair one, you would share your information, I would fain to share with you a goodly measure of Hermes' bounty.
Skia's eyes narrow as the priest offers his services to the beauty before them. He never offered the bounty of Hermes to me, she thinks indignantly to herself.
Aevelynm arrives at the Happy Tramp and surveys the scene. Seeing the bard about to give services for the info received from the proprieteress, she sidles up to Pipp, and whispers, "Miss me, hun?"
Then to Goldie, she nods, "Pleasure to meet you, you must be Goldie."
By the time Aevelyn and gang get to the Happy Tramp, and the other half of the group is done "paying" Goldie it is rather late, Goldie sweetly offers you rooms for the night free of charge, "I mean after all you worked enough in my bed, the least I can do is give a bed to sleep in.". Other than a hearty and wild romp with the chesty proprietress it turns that the visit was a bust. Goldie simply provided you with Simple Simon's name, saying he knew how to find the pigs.
"I know where Simple Simon is and he will lead me to him. I will take you to him on one condition: Someone else gets to deal with his affections!" Aevelyn announces to the rest of the group. She looks at Skia, "Maybe you want to deal with him?"
Utterly spent, Pipp exclaims, "This business of investigation is exhausting!"
Hopefully some of you had better luck than we had.
Utterly spent, Pipp exclaims, "This business of investigation is exhausting!"
Hopefully some of you had better luck finding information that we were actually looking for than we had. ;-)
I'm not sure how much longer I'm going to be able to keep Jyg'g's blades sheathed...
To Goldie -- Can you shed any insider information on what happened to Black Tom. I'm curious as to the real reason he is no longer around.
And thank you for your hospitality.
Aevelyn glares at the paladin elf, and says in a brittle ice cold tone, If you would pay attention to what is coming from my lips, instead of hers, you would know, I already found a lead, while you were enjoying yourselves!"
Aevelyn glares at the paladin elf, and says in a brittle ice cold tone, If you would pay attention to what is coming from my lips, instead of hers, you would know, I already found a lead, while you were enjoying yourselves!"
So are we (or you) meeting with Simon in the morning? What's our next plan?
...And I'm still trying to figure out what happened to Black Tom. He seems like exactly the kind of character the pigs would want to seek out and the establishment says that it was shut down by LPM. I'd like to know what exactly we are getting into before we get there rather than after. And I'd like to know a little more about our employer from the other side of things.
"I am not meeting that simpleton by myself! I would much rather everyone come with me, so he doesn't get any ideas." She shudders at the thought. "I am tired though, so we can wait until the morning."
Aevelyn looks at the elf appreciatively, "You do still owe me an apology, though."
Skia scowls at Aevelyn. "If he is someone that even you wouldn't touch then I doubt he would be receptive to my unique caress." She lovingly runs her hand along the handle of the ornate sickle at her side as she says this. "Altough if he is as simple as his name would suggest then he would be right up your alley wouldn't he?"
Aevelyn flashes a look of hatred at the drow priestess, and says, "Look you black skinned freak, I have standards, and you would do well to remember that, otherwise, I will convince him he is madly in love with you!" she shoots the drow one more glare, and takes Malfleur's arm in hers, "Come sweetie, I am famished. Let's eat."
Skia's scowl turns to a smirk when Aevelyn turns her back. How easy it is to push her buttons, she thinks to herself. I simply must remember that for future reference.
Aevelyn glares at the paladin elf, and says in a brittle ice cold tone, If you would pay attention to what is coming from my lips, instead of hers, you would know, I already found a lead, while you were enjoying yourselves!"
So are we (or you) meeting with Simon in the morning? What's our next plan?
** spoiler omitted **
...And I'm still trying to figure out what happened to Black Tom. He seems like exactly the kind of character the pigs would want to seek out and the establishment says that it was shut down by LPM. I'd like to know what exactly we are getting into before we get there rather than after. And I'd like to know a little more about our employer from the other side of things.
Goldie is more than happy to tell you what is going on with Black Tom, looking at you with a smile in her eyes, "Oh nothing sinister going on with BT, he just fell behind in a commission for LPM, so the Drow in Chief "freed up" his schedule until it's done. He should be back sometime next week if what the Lady Solnes told me last weekend is true." Goldie then ask you all to sit and calls for drinks to be served, "You guys seems real nice, and I like you so I'm gonna try and help you out. Let me share what I do know about those damn pigs. The 3LPs are bad news, three evil little halfling wereboars who love nothing more than tearing the flesh from their foes. B.B. Wolf was good guy, he sold insurance policies door to door, a real stand up guy ya know. He went into the woods to hawk fire insurance to the fairy tale creatures that live there. Well the youngest one, Bacon I believe, had a straw house and when B.B. laughed the little mother porker attacked him. Now nobody ever said B.B. couldn't hold his own and he beat the shrimps ass. Problem was he had his fur up by that time and chased the fleeing runt to his brothers house, well the stick house wasn't going to stop a pissed off wolf and the 2 pigs lured him to their oldest brothers house. The rest is history really.... I still can't believe they ate him". Tears roll down Goldie's cheeks by the time she is done, it is obvious she was good friends with Mr Wolf.
Hieron listens attentively from the copper tub full of steaming hot water, as all the party makes its way to their room and the facts coming tumbling out.
Wereboar halflings, eh? They sound both devious and ferocious.
It is well that that the weapons of Lord Hermes are always tinctured with mercurial silver. So, does anyone see anything that needs to be done other than a good rest, an early breakfast, and seeking out Simple Simon and hearing what he says?
Lets get moving first thing in the morning, the faster we get moving the faster we get to have some..[scary laughter]..tasty bbq. licking his lips afterwards.
Aevelyn licks her lips at the thought of haveing several months of pulled pork sandwiches, slathered in BBQ sauce.
Skia eyes Heiron sitting in the tub and smirks. "I agree that those little pigs are going to be gutted and roasted before we're done with them. Justice be damned I just like the idea of pork sacrifices to the Dark Lady."
"So we'll set off in the morning after stocking up for a trip into the forest then?"
Fire insurance? Seriously?
Whatever -- do we have a plan? Or shall we (meaning Jyg'g) knock on the front door?
"Do heroes knock? I seem to think that they don't, but then that's terribly rude. I think we should knock politely and then fell the foul beasts."
"You shouldn't knock unless you are ready to be knocked on in return. I think the piggies would knock back, using a hard fist, on your soft face. So the answer is no."
I say investigate first, then plan. Are they holed up in the stone house after dispatching Biggy? They've certainly had time to prepare, and they seemed to have handled him with no problem with little preparation time. And do they have allies in the forest? I say these wereboarlings may pose more of a threat than we'd be inclined to think.
The following morning you find that Goldie has already spoken to Simple Simon and he has agreed to lead you to where the straw house was built, from there you will have to track down the location of the stick built, then the brick home.
Simon seems not in the least concerned about traveling into the Forest Enchanted, "Not much to fear under most circumstances, unless you happen to be a little girl in a hood, or a lost kid, they git et up pretty quick." The forest itself is a surreal place, it is said that the Lord Mairkurion is the guardian of this magical place, and that somewhere within its borders lies a vast crop of giant "Special Leaf" that is harvested by dryads for use by the LPM and his court. Otherwise you can't put your finger on what is so special, but the air itself seems... magical.
Simon leads you to a clearing roughly 100 foot square, in the center is an old pile of rotting straw and nearby is a shallow hole.
"Well if'n that be all yer needin' I'll just leave ya to yer dea.... work, I mean I'll let ya do whut ya came here fer." Simon says.
Thank you for your guidance, Simon. Any parting advice, like "Stay to the path?" Or where we might find the Special Leaf about which we've heard so much? Or maybe you can tell us why you think you're leaving us to our death?
"Yes, Simon please tell us anything else that might help us stay alive. You wouldn't want anything to happen to me, now would you?" Aevelyn gives the simpleton a simpering look, gazing at him with her eyes and batting her smoky eyelashes at him.
Simon seems to sink a little at the questions before responding, "It's just that nobody messes with them pigs and don't get et, not that I wish ill on ye. I'd imagine M'lord and Ma'am that ye'd be needin to find the stick house from here and from there it should be easy enough to find the brick 'un..... if'n yer that determined to go through with this. I'd be on look out fer them nursry rhyme folks along the way. And the dryads'er frisky this time a year on account of them pollinatin and such.". Simon doesn't really seem to know much else about the forest beyond what he has told you.
If no one else has any questions for him Simon will make his way home.
Skia sneers to herself at Aevelyn's flirting with the obviously smitten man. Why anyone would be smitten with that wrinkled old hag is beyond me, she thinks to herself.
She doesn't however stoop to poking around in the remains of the house looking for clues, instead standing back with her hands crossed overseeing the work of the others.
"Gads what a mess"
"I hope I find a clue!"
"Is this what we're looking for?"
Aevelyn
Pipp
Baz
Fawlty DM
Fawlty DM** spoiler omitted **
"Thanks for the final words, Simon.
Aevelyn, did you get your hair done when the party split up? It looks quite ravishing.
Well, let us all be one our way. May Hermes guide our feet and our fortune!"
The cleric steps lively down the path with his caduceus over his shoulder.
Aevelyn, did you get your hair done when the party split up? It looks quite ravishing.[/b]
"Why thank you for that compliment, Heiron! I wish more people would notice the hard work I do to make myself presentable!" She looks over at Pipp, and Malfleur in particular.
"Yes, I found this path over here, and it looks exciting and dangerous. Maybe it's the way to the other houses!"