RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32
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And the Slaadi need to set up a meeting with my Lord Secretary of Foreign Affairs, if he decides to show up from his latest affair.
*pokes head out of office door, shirt half on...*
Did someone call? I'll get right on that... ummm... soon...
I'm just finishing up some more Affairs and then I'll see about orgaizing something informal with the Slaadi. I'll hit up VPHD to stock the mini bar with all the hookers and blow the Slaadi could ask for.
*head disappears back inside and the door slams shut*
*gets on phone*
Yes... ok... No I need it bigger. Yes I know that's the latest one. Well I want an even bigger one..... Well try a mythral/adamantine composition... Yes I know I'm a genius. And I want the interior to be pure luxury. I know. Well enlist a wizard to help.... Ok, then when can I expect delivery. By next page? Great. Yes your wife and daughter will be returned safely to you as soon as I have my new toy.... No,no... thank you. Bye-bye now.
*hangs up the phone*
*gets on phone*
Yes... ok... No I need it bigger. Yes I know that's the latest one. Well I want an even bigger one..... Well try a mythral/adamantine composition... Yes I know I'm a genius. And I want the interior to be pure luxury. I know. Well enlist a wizard to help.... Ok, then when can I expect delivery. By next page? Great. Yes your wife and daughter will be returned safely to you as soon as I have my new toy.... No,no... thank you. Bye-bye now.
*hangs up the phone*
{Wakes up from nap under chair} WOW! Even Chuck Norris is intimidated by President Moorluck!
I'm just finishing up some more Affairs and then I'll see about orgaizing something informal with the Slaadi. I'll hit up VPHD to stock the mini bar with all the hookers and blow the Slaadi could ask for.
Ooo- "hookers, blow, booze, and Slaadi?!" oh my! I know already the Librarian and part-time Waitress, but perhaps you need an ambassador to the Slaadi?
Good job, soldiers.Well the Postmonster moved us and then took a lot of other threads elsewhere. WE ARE ANGRY!
Starts lighting furniture on fire and stabbing random poodles
No burning the furniture! It's from Rent-A-Center!
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*thought suddenly dawns on the intern*
Hey! The first pet is a rust monster!
.....and I just got given a chainmail uniform.
Dammit Moorluck! I TOLD you to lobotomize them when you hired them!!!!
But, no, you said, we gotta let them THINK, you said...
Well, we goblins like it when our women are imaginative. I don't know about humans, though...
No, no, I meant burning the poodles and stabbing the furniture.No burning the furniture! It's from Rent-A-Center!Good job, soldiers.Well the Postmonster moved us and then took a lot of other threads elsewhere. WE ARE ANGRY!
Starts lighting furniture on fire and stabbing random poodles
I'm on it, boss!
<Stabs divan with celery stalk>
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No, no, I meant burning the poodles and stabbing the furniture.No burning the furniture! It's from Rent-A-Center!Good job, soldiers.Well the Postmonster moved us and then took a lot of other threads elsewhere. WE ARE ANGRY!
Starts lighting furniture on fire and stabbing random poodles
I'm on it, boss!
<Stabs divan with celery stalk>
See? Much more harmless, unless they've got vorpal weapons (or if a burning poodle sets something on fire). It keeps them from attacking the Lord President.
Give me an arm and a leg! I'm hungry!
Stupid slaadi teleporting my meals away...
He wuz killt by thet fatty Ranch Dretching.
Okay, rabble, time to take you to the wizard-king.
So, Lord President, what is my title?
Lord General Gark, Commander of the 101st G.A.R.
*gives gift of +3 vorpal sabre of poodlebane*
Hime ham onn uh roll hear!
He wuz killt by thet fatty Ranch Dretching.
Sorry about that. I meant to kill someone else.
Shoots at the dretch.He wuz killt by thet fatty Ranch Dretching.Sorry about that. I meant to kill someone else.
<Feels sorry for Low-fat Ranch Dretching who took the shot. Waddles out of thread.>
Lord General Gark, Commander of the 101st G.A.R. reporting for duty, sir! Now, let's get this rabble in order. Unslings small rocket launcher, then loads and begins shooting at any non-native of the thread.
*fires off his twin platinum plated desert eagles*
That's the spirit General!
*hands the General a dwarven cigar in between shots*
OK. The bear traps were a bit much. I'm a wolverine, fer cryin' out loud, not a bear. I won't shoot at the Presidential pets anymore.
My President!
I subverted the 'Sell Your Sole' Contest as instructed!
Ooo, I like the Pathfinder design! Can I get it in a thigh-high model with a 4" stilleto heel?
*pokes head out of closet she'd been hiding in*
Is the rust monster gone?
*pokes head out of closet she'd been hiding in*
Is the rust monster gone?
BVLLLXXXLVVV!*
*lunges at lynora*
*(Found you!)
*pokes head out of closet she'd been hiding in*
Is the rust monster gone?
BVLLLXXXLVVV!*
*lunges at lynora*
*(Found you!)
Eeek!
*Tries to cover herself as best she can as her chainmail outfit dissolves.*
*Runs out of the room towards her office where she has her leather outfit stored*
*a shriek can be heard from her office*
What happened to my clothes?
LOL. :) Men can be sooo weird sometimes. ;)
The Lord President went all Rambo on Arendell.....guess whats good for the goose isn't for the gander....hypocrite ;)
Sometimes? I was just thinking that they can be NORMAL sometimes!
;)
Should I tell lynora about the leather monster that we set loose in her office a while ago?
No need. I think she just found out the creature exsist, by the way you did make sure to keep it away from boots right?
LOL. :) Men can be sooo weird sometimes. ;)
The Lord President went all Rambo on Arendell.....guess whats good for the goose isn't for the gander....hypocrite ;)
Sometimes? I was just thinking that they can be NORMAL sometimes!
;)
VVVVVVBLLLLXX!*
*leaps at the next chainmail bikini clad beauty*
*(Desert!!)
I couldn't resist and I threw up a second design (a bit more serious and less smart-ass)
Are you taking applications for fans?
<Looks at Moorluck's Rustmonster, dreamily>
Can I play with you?
<Bats eyelashes>
<Looks at Moorluck's Rustmonster, dreamily> Can I play with you? <Bats eyelashes>
Sorry to kill the mood, Rusty:
"But they're cousins, identical cousins all the way;
one pair of matching bookends, different as night and day.
* Crap, I think I've been possessed by Karaokeheart!!! *
"Still they're cousins, identical cousins and you'll find
they laugh alike, they walk alike, at times they even talk alike.
You can lose your mind ... when cousins are two of a kind!"
<Looks at Moorluck's Rustmonster, dreamily> Can I play with you? <Bats eyelashes>Sorry to kill the mood, Rusty:
"But they're cousins, identical cousins all the way;
one pair of matching bookends, different as night and day.* Crap, I think I've been possessed by Karaokeheart!!! *
"Still they're cousins, identical cousins and you'll find
they laugh alike, they walk alike, at times they even talk alike.
You can lose your mind ... when cousins are two of a kind!"
<Heartbroken, Rusty returns to the Poodle thread>
Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale
a tale of a fateful trip,
that started from this tropic port,
aboard this tiny ship.
The mate was a mighty sailin' man,
the Skipper brave and sure,
five passengers set sail that day,
for a three hour tour,
a three hour tour.
The weather started getting rough,
the tiny ship was tossed.
If not for the courage of the fearless crew
the Minnow would be lost.
The Minnow would be lost.
The ship aground on the shore of this uncharted desert isle
with Gilligan,
the Skipper too.
A millionaire and his wife,
a movie star,
the professor and Mary Ann,
here on Gilligan's Isle.
*comes out of her office wearing a couple of pages from a desk calendar taped together*
I don't suppose we happen to have any cloth uniforms around here anywhere?