The Putrid Temple of Volner Tain

[Joshua Blazej]

The Putrid Temple of Volner Tain
This was once a temple of Erastil built in the earlier days of the city, but has been long since abandoned for newly constructed chapels as the town has grown into a sprawling city. Since it was abandoned, the area around the temple has been corrupted by poverty, crime, and now the thrice-damned Volner Tain. He hopes to be able to use this battered temple as a staging ground for a massive plague of madness that will spread to the outlying areas so quickly that no response will be effective enough to stop the devastation it will leave in it’s wake. He looks forward to cities full of people turning weapons on one another as their sanity disappears.

Until that particular task is ready to put into motion, he uses this as a base of operations for when he needs to gather materials and minions to aid him in his various plots. Tain often leaves the base to his servants to maintain while he enacts plans across the area, returning only to rest, restock, and otherwise prepare for his next move.

Within the week Tain will have set up the final preparations necessary to begin the horrific spread of disease after which Tain plans to move on to leave the plague to either succeed or fail on it’s own. He has already begun looking for new locations to deliver pain and suffering to.

1. Temple Exterior
The wooden frame of this building is rotten and warped. While stronger wood has replaced portions of the building, much of the wood still looks ill suited to hold anything up. Solid wooden plank replace areas once left aside for windows blocking the view from the outside.
Tain leaves no servants patrolling the streets for fear of accidentally drawing too much attention that would put a halt to his masterful plague. The blocked out windows prevent most parties from seeing inside the building, as well as stopping Tain’s servants from seeing the party approach.

Most of the other worn down buildings in the area are not used and this is not a heavily traveled road, at any time on average there are dozen people within a hundred feet of the temple.

Characters can hear the sounds of laughter coming from the ill inside the temple with a DC 15 Perception check.

2. Diseased Temple Hall (CR 13)
The sound of flies drones through the building, their focus on the filth residing across the aisles. In the northwest corner of the room, there is a pile of destroyed benches and up above there is a long wooden ledge holding up wooden and stone statues that watch the temple floor. The remaining benches face the northern wall where a faded and cracked painting of a tranquil scene of people performing tasks to maintain a small village. It shows several men out plowing fields while others hunt and bring back fresh game. Another portion displays women of the town caring for children and cooking meals. At the center of it all is a cleric of Erastil guiding and encouraging all of the folk to complete their tasks. While the passage of time has caused most of the damage to the painting, there are many cuts where someone has attacked to people within. Special attention was paid to the cleric as his eyes have been gouged out and large hole is left where his heart would be.

The ceiling rises high above to the floor to height of twenty feet in all but the front of the room where the wooden ledge lowers the height to ten feet.

The door that leads into the room in the back (Area 3), is obscured by the pile of broken benches. A DC 15 Perception check allows a character to find the door under the pile of rubble. A full-round action is enough to clear enough of the pile to open the door and enter that room.

Creatures: The half a dozen insane laughing humans resting here currently are all infected with cackle fever (PFRPG Beta 391) given to them by diseased invisible stalkers Volner has called. Thee daemons of disease have infused the their essence into these invisible stalkers allowing to act as carriers of many diseases that do not affect them so that they can spread them among mortals. Once Volner finishes decimating the city’s ability to treat a wide spread epidemic he will release them on the town, for now though they wander the temple floor infecting those that rest here. A pair of leukodaemons watches the progress of the disease from the ledges above the ground (Area 4). The invisible stalkers and leukodaemons attack if they see somebody attempting to treat the disease, they perceive anyone that seems to be able to see the invisible stalkers, or a group of well armed people attempting to progress into rooms further into temple.

The invisible stalkers attack anyone unable to see them, while the leukodaemons above focus their attacks on the other members of the party. The leukodaemons like to stay above, but will pursue if the party attempts to move into deeper rooms within the temple. Both sets of creatures fight the characters to the death.

Diseased Invisible Stalkers (4) CR 7
NE Large elemental (air, evil, extraplanar)
hp 52 (MM 160)
Melee 2 slams +10 (2d6+4) or diseased air +9 (cackle fever)
===== Special Abilities =====
Diseased Air (Ex) As a standard action, a diseased invisible stalker can make a touch attack to deliver cackle fever.

Leukodaemons (2) CR 9
hp 95 (Pathfinder #8 80)

Infected Humans (6) CR 1/2
Human commoner 1
N Medium humanoid
Init +0; Senses Perception -3
AC 10, touch 10. flat-footed 10
hp 3 (1d6+3)
Fort +0, Ref +0, Will -3
===== Offense =====
Spd 30 ft.
===== Tactics =====
Before Combat They prefer to lie back and laugh due to the diseases’ progression.
During Combat Once combat start they panic and retreat from anything that approaches them.
Morale These humans don’t think to retreat from combat until forced. If attacked they run out of the building.
Base Statistics Unaffected by cackle fever these humans stats change as follows:
Senses Perception +0
Will +0
Wis 11
===== Statistics =====
Str 10, Dex 11, Con 11, Int 10, Wis 5, Cha 10
Base Atk +0; CMB +0
Feats Endurance
Skills Climb +4, Handle Animal +4, Swim +4
Languages Common

3. Destroyed Room
These rooms have been torn apart. The remains of a smashed desk and a scattered straw bed lie on the floor. A hole in the deteriorating ceiling opens up onto a platform above. On the eastern side of the room, the floor has been broken open to reveal a set of stone stairs leading down into the ground. Across the passageway’s walls are many scratches and claw marks of some sort of beast.

Trash and rubbish are all that remains in this room.

When he first arrived Volner ordered his xorn to dig into the ground after which he used stone shape to form a rudimentary staircase.

4. Leukodaemon’s Roost
Refuse and squirming maggots cover the platform. Near edge rest a few animal statues are attached to the platform that look down over the putrid temple floor and damaged benches.

The leukodaemon spend most of their time hiding here watching the humans below slowly go mad from the progression of their disease.

5. Underground Cavern (CR 12)
The stairs open up into a large stone cavern with larger pillar of rock in the center holding up the ceiling. Piles of rotten flesh pepper the stone floor and four tunnels go on for several feet before ending abruptly while a fifth tunnel continues toward the south. Across all of the stone surfaces are thousands of marks made by creatures clawing at the rock face.

The original temple did not have enough space for Volner to hide and plot so after he arrived he began work on creating caverns where he could store important materials and hide his work. The walls and ceiling are rough and marred, but the floor is relatively smooth thanks to several stone shape spells.

Creatures: In order to quickly form this underground base Volner called for servants that could dig tunnels through rock. Volner gained a group of Xorn corrupted by daemons of famine. Now they have an unquenchable hunger that drives them to consume all the minerals they can find. The deamon influence has affected their taste causing them to prefer bones above all other meals. While Volner has given them several bodies to feed off, their main food source has been the rock around them. They have eaten the broken and consumed the rock in order to create the underground rooms. Aside from their emaciated appearance these xorn look normal for their race. Despite their hunger, they remain in this cavern rather than seek out tastier food sources because of their fear of Volner Tain’s wrath.

A single xorn works at each of the dead end tunnels digging when the characters come. If they detect the characters with tremorsense, they earth glide underground and wait for them to enter the cavern. They move and rise out of the rock next to the characters once they have moved more than ten feet from the stairs. These xorn are driven by their hunger and do not retreat from combat.

Starving Elder Xorn (4) CR 8
NE Large outsider (earth, evil, extraplanar)
hp 130 (MM 260)
Melee bite +21 (3d8+7) and 3 claws +19 (1d6+3)
Special Attacks improved grab
===== Special Abilities =====
Improved Grab (Ex) To use this ability, a starving elder xorn must hit with a bite attack. It can then attempt to use the grapple combat maneuver (CMB +23) on the hit creature as a free action without provoking an attack of opportunity. While grappling, the xorn cannot use a bite attack. When performing the Damage action in a grapple the xorn deals lethal damage equal to its bite damage.

6. Tain’s Chapel (CR 17)
The tunnel expands into a cavern with a plain stone alter at the south end. Throughout the room are pillar covered in dozens of carvings depicting faces of creatures in screaming in agony. In several areas writing has been engraved into the wall.

This is the living quarters of Volner Tain and the return point of his word of recall so that he can quickly return if events draw him away from his lair that day. Currently, if he casts word of recall he teleports just north of the altar.

Carved into the walls are various notes in Common taken by Volner, each noting hatred for a particular deity and listing a preferred method of destroying their followers. Volner uses these to focus his desire to destroy whenever his devotion to his cause might waver.

A DC 30 Perception check to search near the stone alter reveals a secret compartment that usually holds Volner’s written plans on the plot to spread the plague.

Creatures: If not alerted of intruders Volner Tain works at the altar going through maps of the area and going through notes of various plots he has in motion. If he hears anyone in coming from the other room Volner’s first concern is to gather the notes and place them within a secret compartment next to the altar before preparing for combat by casting air walk, invisibility, and shield of faith. He then takes a position behind a pillar and waits until the party are approaching the room to cast divine power followed engaging the party with his standard combat tactics. Volner is more cautious here as the notes on his various running plots and if they got into the wrong hands his plans would be severely disrupted. Since casting word of recall would take Volner Tain to this room, he does not use it to retreat from battle.

Volner Tain CR 17
hp 123 (RPG Superstar 2009 Round 3)

[Clark Peterson]

Initial Review

Interesting choice. Like a few others, you chose a villain that didn't advance. My guess is that was because you wanted to be unique. Well, lets see how that goes. The first thing that strikes me is that this submission seems hasty and fully of grammar and spelling errors. This has first draft all over it. Map is underwhelming. Concept is a bit simple. I dont think you maximized this. That said, I love the diseased invisible stalkers! Rad! But in the end, I just dont think this is a sufficient lair for a CR 17 lich villain. I dont know. I'm going to have to come back to this one. More to come...

Initially not in my Top 4.

Final Thoughts

Having slept on these and rolled them around, I am at the same place on this one as where I started. This is just not enough of a lair for Volner. Josh, I have to admit you were my outside favorite. I loved the gloves and Derinogen. But I think Volner was a tough choice and I dont think this lair was your best. It will be up to the voters to take your body of work into account. But on this submission alone, it is NOT RECOMMENDED.

[Sean K Reynolds]

I like the infected air elementals.

How do the commoners have (1d6+3) hit points but currently only have 3 hp? Are they injured? Their Con 10 means they should be 1d6+0, and they don't have Toughness as a feat, so the extra hp can't be from that. Also, as humans they should have 2 feats at 1st level, but they only have 1 listed.

I spot many typographical and grammatical errors.

For a powerful lich, I expected more defenses. This place doesn't feel much like Volner; other than the disease-infused creatures, there's not much of him about this place.

Rec: do not advance.

[Monte Cook]

This is an interesting, very focused entry. The lair is smaller than some of the others, but that’s allowed you to give a lot more detail. I like that choice. That said, it does seem like this entry could have used a bit more… something. Perhaps more instances where the location influences encounters, either with special situations, unique locations for fights, or environmental conditions that change the way an encounter plays.

Also, most of the encounters are considerably weaker than the villain. I worry that the PCs will be a bit bored by them.

I like that each encounter gives us the details behind why things are the way they are, sharing more insight into the villain behind it all.

Overall, nice details and very interesting use of creatures.

[Monte Cook]

On a scale of 1 to 10, I'd give this a 7. It's a decent lair, but I wanted just a bit more out of it. Good, but not recommended.

[Wolfgang Baur]

For a CR 17 lich, I expect more than a haunted temple. I love your monster choices, especially the stalkers and leukodaemons, but ... This is a pretty short and easily cleared-out lair. Part of a good design is matching challenges to power levels, and I'm just not seeing that here.

Some of the encounter text spends a lot of time of backstory that the players will never learn (eg, the xorn/famine spirit material). Not sure that is a good use of space, even though the DM is likely to find it interesting.

Like the other judges, the sheer number of spelling and grammatical errors was also a bit of a concern.

Not recommended to advance.

[Jorrik the Fat]

I like the lair; there's some cool ideas in it. The problem is, I like all the lairs in this round, so you have to do just that little bit more to get to the Final. I'm afraid to say that I have to agree with the judges on this (shock news! Jorrik agrees with judges!); the spelling errors are enough for me to decide against you this time round. I know they'd be fixed in a final book (not least because you'd presumably have longer to edit before sending it off), but we've got to be picky by this stage. So sorry, and best of luck, but no vote from me this round.

[Jason Nelson]

I've voted for you every round up til now, but we are on some shaky ground here. This lair is fine... but that's all. It's just okay. The monsters are nice and the disease theme works fine, but it's just hard to buy this place as the secret hideout of a CR 17 lich. Maybe we've been spoiled by the whole Tomb of Horrors concept and all of its knock-offs over the years; after all, Volner Tain may be a high-level lich but he ISN'T an archmage, and so shouldn't necessarily have a gazillion diabolical magical traps all over the place. This place, though... it just seems too open... too easy.

On one level I guess I could rationalize it - Volner Tain moves around and DOES stuff. He's an active lich, not one of these guys who sits on his moldy throne and contemplates the Dark Secrets of the Universe (TM) while concocting his Utterly Evil Diabolical Plot (TM). He's actually out there killin' people instead of just thinkin' about killin' people.

Still... I'm just not feeling it. I'll still have to think on it voting-wise based on past performance, but this lair wasn't one of the better ones this round.

[Charles Evans 25]

Initial Impression:
Was this entry proof-read for punctuation, etc?

Okay, apart from that, I read about 'corrupted xorns', and I start thinking: 'Ah-ha - xorns with the fiendish template? Or with something else?' The answer turned out to be 'Umm, no nothing so exciting.'

First Neil did a lair for Sharina, and now you present a lair for Volner; I get the impression you have a feel for Volner Thrain, but I'm not sure that he's a very good subject for a lair.

Not impressed at the moment, but I will come back to this one.

[Joel Flank]

Overall, I'd have to say that this lair is simply too linear and small. It technically has 6 encounter areas on the map, but really only has 3 encounters. Empty rooms are fine for bits of detail, but as others have said, this didn't feel like the lair of a CR 17 lich.

The good stuff in this entry is the disseased stalkers and the leukodaemons, as well as the famine tainted xorn. Both fit the daemon theme of Volner quite well. I'd have liked something extra about the xorns, similar to the dissease of the stalkers though, to mechanincally reinforce their taint. Maybe an aura of hunger that forces a will save or the victim must spend a full round eating something or suffer hunger pains (-2 to all d20 rolls). I get that the defiled temple is a good lair for Volner, but just wanted more - sadistic traps that come from the Saw franchise of movies and tie in to Volner's phylactery inside a good guy's brain trick. You could have saved some word count for something else by not detailing the human commoners at all. A short (human Com1) stat block would have been fine for non-combatants.

There were two specific things though that really didn't work for me in this entry. First, was the sentence "Tain often leaves the base to his servants to maintain while he enacts plans across the area, returning only to rest, restock, and otherwise prepare for his next move." Why does Volner need to rest, he's an undead lich!!! Next, the map was just hard to read. It looks like you did it in pencil, and it's therefore just too faint. Using a fine tip black pen (even over the pencil) would have made it a lot easier to read.

This was good for what it was, but it didn't reach out and demand my vote.

[Trevor Gulliver]

I loved the 'Starving Elder Xorn' and 'Diseased Invisible Stalkers'. I bet you got a lot more cool stuff like that up your sleeves!

[Sue Flaherty]

First, congratulations on making Top 8!

Wow ... I am going to have to come back to this one and make another stab at reading it, but I was constantly being yanked out of any mood by the spelling and grammar errors. Some sections there were multiple errors in a single sentence ... very painful to read. Bad first impression there.

[Christopher West]

The map for this entry is cleanly presented and include a nice key. It's a bit on the bare-bones side, though.

As a cartographer working on this map, I would need to reference the text for flavor and look for more interesting qualities to bring out in the finished piece. There's nothing wrong with that per se--I do always ask for a copy of the adventure text for just such a purpose when working on something like this and almost always need to reference it for some features--but in this case most of the coolest details are wall carvings that never show up in a conventional 2D map. There's just not a whole lot here to make the map itself all that interesting from a visual standpoint. I'd probably choose to play up the claw marks just to eke out some fun detail for the viewer.

Other vexations include wafer-thin walls and the presentation of the upper level below the ground level. They're both easily remedied on the cartographer's end, however.

It's not a bad lair map, and it does include some great descriptive text--there's just not a whole lot to it.

[Sean McGowan]

In a round with eight good to great lair designs, I'm sorry to say that this one falls short for me. Good, but in the end not great. It could be that I was never a Volner Tain fan and therefore using him would need to be a homerun off the bat to grab me.

But it's just kind of there. There's some cool stuff; disease laden invisible stalkers are fun. Crazed bone muching Xorns. But in the end, as near-epic as Volner is... this is just too short and sweet for me and my vote. Sorry.

[Steven Helt]

I don't want to be a hypocrite, since I have done this also in rushed drafts, but check out this sentence:

"He hopes to be able to use this battered temple as a staging ground for a massive plague of madness that will spread to the outlying areas so quickly that no response will be effective enough to stop the devastation it will leave in it’s wake."

That could be two better sentences, or it could lose the reader. You can have readers go back a sentence to verify the incredibly unusual detail that will bring a smile to their face, but you can't have them going back over a sentence to look for the period they missed.

Plague of insanity does not strike me as unique or clever. It is certainly not worthy of the guy who hides goodies in the heads of nobles and then resurrects them, in order to force good folk to have to kill them again. In his redraft, he promises a war, a plague , a famine and a massacre. A head start for the DM like that deserves a pretty twisted take on one of those four themes.

In fact, as I scan ahead, it looks like the templ isn't "putrid" at all, nor will any character expecting to show in a fight against Volner have any trouble with the other encounters. Tells me you had gonzo ideas for your monsters, but you aren't comfortable with high-level encounter design.

When you create the master design for the plague, it should be described as an overview, or when the Pcs discover the source of the plague. Describing sick people in a room, followed by a long description of Volner's plan to use invisible stalkers to deliver the plague makes us forget about the room. Also, it's a little weird you spend so much time describing the desecrated wall painting, but your read-aloud text doesn't mention the crazy sick people littering the floor.

I wouldn't waste words on the human commoner stat blocks - no one expects that to be a legitimate fight. Instead, explain to me what a 'diseased air' attack is. Can it crit? does it have a range? Is the save the same as for the disease, or do the elementals make it more potent somehow? If the disease affects you mentally, how are the elementals immune? Also, invisible stalkers don't have the evil subtype.

I don't buy the bone-eating xorn at all. Sorry, but it's gonzo. Using the xorn to eat all the minerals out of a rich mine, and creating economic downfall that leads to war - that's something the xorn can deliver. Xorn who eat bone instead of silver tell me you just wanted an unsual monster to throw into your adventure, and couldn't build your plot around the resources you already had. And thus far, Volner doesn't corrupt or use actual humanoids at all, which to me is not very Golarion. Also, xorn are Int 10 and have a burrow speed. None of them will go get help?

Finally, have to ding you on the map. Not beacause it's hand scrawled and dependent on a company cartographer to give some flash to, but because it's almost impossible to give any bling. A few rectangular rooms that contain gonzo encounters without any really exciting encounter design. No real terrain features, the encounters are not built to give the monsters therein any advantage. I have to call it what it is: unimaginative.

To be sure, as I thought about what I would have picked to enter this round, Volner was at the top of the list. There's too much excitement and potential in his four big projects, and his plans to corrupt and ruin human life as he delivers on his promises, not to bring a lot of creativity to his lair. I just don't think you thought on that scale.

[Charles Evans 25]

Steven:
Regarding one of your questions on how the invisible stalkers are immune, it seemed to have sort of been answered:

Joshua Blazej wrote:

...Thee daemons of disease have infused the their essence into these invisible stalkers allowing to act as carriers of many diseases that do not affect them so that they can spread them among mortals. ...

Spelling errors aside it the invisible stalkers seem to have had daemons merged with them to make them plague-carriers immune to the diseases they carry - although that leaves me wondering why maybe a fiendish template (possibly with the powers stripped out) wasn't also applied to ramp up the CR of the stalkers a little bit.

Okay, that left a lot unanswered though. :-?

[Charles Evans 25]

Further to my initial impression, on a closer inspection the problem doesn't seem to be Volner Tain's use, but that enough thought/time wasn't available for this entry.

There are the basis of some good ideas here- EG the use of corrupted invisible stalkers as plague carriers that can infect simply by blowing on someone- but I only count two encounters (besides Volner Tain, if he is at home).
Being exceedingly generous, I can see that as part of a module it might not be necessary for this lair to have more than couple of incidental encounters, as the PCs may already have been through hell and high water to get here and could do with a couple of easy encounters before a showdown with Tain, but this lair has difficulty standing as a level appropriate encounter on its own. To use it, is has to be meshed into an adventure, since characters who might find one CR 12 and one CR 13 encounter challenging as part of their average adventuring day will then likely go splat if they hit Volner Tain.

The spelling, grammar, and punctuation errors are a nuisance. They leave me the impression that this lair is a rush job. I'm still slightly surprised that you went for Volner Tain instead of one of the other villains, for whom maybe you could have adapted any groundwork which you had already done for Derinogen's lair (assuming you had already started such).

I think that this lair might have received some undue criticism given that the brief was 'design a lair', not 'design a mini-module containing an adventurer's five-a-day combat encounters', but I'm not sure that it does enough for me to vote for it.

[Steven Helt]

Charles Evans 25 wrote:

Okay, that left a lot unanswered though. :-?

I get it, I just don't buy it. Again, instead of using the myriad creatures in the game, some freak hybrid has to be created to push the story. Why not just infect the invisible stalkers and not protect them?

Why 'wait until the city can't defend itself against a plague' while hosting all the crazy people woth crazy disease? Surely sending invisible carriers into a crowded community will tax any city, and then you have the stalkers kill off clerics in the city one by one.

I guess I just don't buy the methodology, or the idea that Volner's disease carriers are just hanging out in the room, doing nothing while waiting for the time to strike.

[Mike Speck]

One thing I questioned after my last read-through: what conditions is Volner waiting for before he puts this plague in motion? It would help explain why his carriers are hanging out reinfecting the poor suckers on the floor if we knew why he wasn't ready -- maybe the high priest is leaving town/going to be killed? He's waiting for a "secret ingredient" from Gulga (Volner, not the high priest)? The infection doesn't spread fast enough yet? Just...something to give us a sense of ongoing work and forward motion, rather than a relative stasis.

I agree with most other points that have been raised -- grammar, not mentioning the sick laughing guys in your read-aloud text, awfully low-key lair for a cleric/lich/handpicked servant of doom.

Actually, this does make a solid sub-lair, or waystation, or staging ground. Where I specifically get hung up is that your description of his chamber -- with its notes on all his evil plots, and a special hiding place for the notes, and custom-xorn-made staircase, and endpoint of his word of recall -- feels like it wants to be his MAIN lair, someplace he's put a LOT of time and effort into making defensible. And as others have said, the rest doesn't feel like the main lair of a CR17 lich.

I hope that's at least somewhat helpful. And I hope to see a lot more stuff with your name on it!

[James MacKenzie]

I particularly like this one and think it especially suits Volner Tain. The opening description sets the villain’s “hook” effectively: Volner Tain’s plans for the city are smoothly incorporated into the text. Every scene and detail makes the lich’s schemes crystal clear. This guy isn’t going to squat in some distant mountain or swamp: He’s coming to town, ready to wreak some havoc. He’ll deliver the disasters he promised his fiendish patrons.

Joshua’s “tweaks” to the monsters were very original: I especially liked the diseased invisible stalkers: That “made” the encounter for me. The monsters weren’t as powerful as they might have been, but I disagree that they were too weak for a party facing Volner Tain. I’d match Tain against a party no higher than 11th level: Despite his CR on paper, a more potent band would tear him apart. Such a crew would find the earlier encounters to be appropriate challenges.

Others have noted the spelling and word choice errors: It looks like the looming deadline forced the author to rush. In the future, he’ll want to review his text more carefully.

Joshua's strengths have not been in wild, “gonzo” submissions, but in solid, workmanlike entries. This temple is another example of that style.

[Ernest Mueller]

Too-simple writing with many grammatical errors. And inconsistent - the invisible stalkers and leukodaemons have their tactics in the text and the humans do in their stats? Overly simple layout and really short. Pass.

[Charles Evans 25]

Steven T. Helt wrote:

I get it, I just don't buy it. Again, instead of using the myriad creatures in the game, some freak hybrid has to be created to push the story. Why not just infect the invisible stalkers and not protect them?

Why 'wait until the city can't defend itself against a plague' while hosting all the crazy people woth crazy disease? Surely sending invisible carriers into a crowded community will tax any city, and then you have the stalkers kill off clerics in the city one by one.

I guess I just don't buy the methodology, or the idea that Volner's disease carriers are just hanging out in the room, doing nothing while waiting for the time to strike.

Which makes a more stealthy plague spreader, which is harder to track down and neutralise or even determine as the source of a new plague in the first place?

1) A combination leukodaemon/invisible stalker, in perfect control of its faculties?
OR
2) A Wisdom damaged infected invisible stalker which has a tendency to burst into insane bouts of laughter?

I also imagine that it's easier to get an invisible stalker to co-operate with you if you offer it the chance to participate in experimental splicing work to become more powerful than if you call it, infect it with cackle-fever, and hold it captive whilst you wait for the fever to set in and for the stalker to become contagious.

That said, I think that the stalkers are under-detailed, as is background information on where they come from. As one of the principle agents of the planned plague that is supposed to emanate from this lair, more than what details were given about them would have made this entry look much stronger.

I have not the faintest idea exactly what arrangements Volner may be making that require him to wait. SMike Speck suggested it might be that Volner is waiting for a senior priest in the city to go off on a trip which seems as good a reason as any to me.
Round 4 to my mind is supposed to be about 'design a lair', not 'design a mini-module' or 'design a full-blown adventure with motivations, plots, and every detail of the villain's plans outlined'. It is about a location, and the creatures, traps, and objects located in that location, not giving every specific of a master-plan to unleash a new apocalypse on the world. The OP seems to me to have focused on what the round required - detailing a location, and the creatures, traps and objects in that location. Where this entry is significantly weak in my opinion is that, as another poster has observed, this location does not seem to be suited to be a 'main lair'* - a failing given that Volner Tain (a high Wisdom lich, from whom I would have expected more 'sense') apparently keeps reams and reams of valuable notes detailing all his dastardly plots here, despite the lack of security at the location.
It's a lair, yes, but I don't get the impression that it's Volner's main headquarters, despite the word of recall attunement.

* Where is the strongroom for the gold for buying rare components or bribing officials with? (I know contestants were not supposed to detail treasure, but that doesn't stop them from indicating locations suitable for the keeping of such treasure as far as I can tell.) Where are the glyphs of warding or called daemon allies who will help protect Volner or carry out his missions? Where is the room where he carries out his procedures to splice invisible stalkers and leaukodaemons? There seem certain things absent I would expect for a main lair for Volner.

Edit:
As James MacKenzie has observed, the entry seems to have been a little rushed, as if time pressure was a problem for the contestant.

[Eric Morton]

This is certainly an adventure site that I'd consider running at my own table, despite my annoyance at the various grammatical and spelling errors. The tweaked monsters were rather interesting, and I could see them making for a fun evening of gaming.

I think you could have avoiding a lot of flak for your lair being so small by stating at the outset that the lair itself is just one building in a vast monastery that has been corrupted. The audience knows that you have a 2,000-word limit; I think they'd have understood if you implied that your lair was the central location - but not the only location - for a larger, more-complex, site-based adventure.

All that being said, I'm not going to be able to decide my vote by asking what entries I could use at my table. With the competition being so tight, I have to ask whether or not this entry would make a good centerpiece for a module that I would buy. Unfortunately, while this lair is good enough that I'd consider using it some time, I wouldn't spend my limited gaming dollars on it.

[Steven Helt]

Charles Evans 25 wrote:

Which makes a more stealthy plague spreader, which is harder to track down and neutralise or even determine as the source of a new plague in the first place?

My guess would be C. The invisible stalker that carries the disease for a day or two, then gets cure disease cast on it so it maintains its faculties, and which doesn't require monster-splicing rules, which I can't imagine is a goldmine of good design.

[Eric Morton]

Steven T. Helt wrote:

...monster-splicing rules, which I can't imagine is a goldmine of good design.

In fairness, the monster-splicing could be a plot device, so there don't need to be rules for it. Just as the lack of rules for artifact creation don't preclude you from using an occasional artifact as a plot device.

[James MacKenzie]

Charles Evans 25 wrote:

Which makes a more stealthy plague spreader, which is harder to track down and neutralise or even determine as the source of a new plague in the first place?

1) A combination leukodaemon/invisible stalker, in perfect control of its faculties?
OR
2) A Wisdom damaged infected invisible stalker which has a tendency to burst into insane bouts of laughter?

While your point is valid, I prefer the image of disease-infested, deranged horrors invisibly hunting those who would stop their thralls from spreading fever through the land.

[Trevor Gulliver]

Sir_Wulf wrote:

Charles Evans 25 wrote:

Which makes a more stealthy plague spreader, which is harder to track down and neutralise or even determine as the source of a new plague in the first place?

1) A combination leukodaemon/invisible stalker, in perfect control of its faculties?
OR
2) A Wisdom damaged infected invisible stalker which has a tendency to burst into insane bouts of laughter?

While your point is valid, I prefer the image of disease-infested, deranged horrors invisibly hunting those who would stop their thralls from spreading fever through the land.

This discussion sent me digging deep into my bookshelf for Dorothy H. Crawford's "The Invisible Enemy: A Natural History of Viruses". I think Joshua's being very clever here and giving a fantasy world corollary for pre-scientific beliefs about causes of disease. The only relevant quotes I could find were:

"From the time of Hippocrates until the beginning of the nineteenth century, diseases were generally thought to be caused by two forms of poison: 'virus' and 'miasma'. ... 'Miasma' was an invisible gas that emanated from swamps, stagnant water, unburied human bodies, and animal carcasses ..." (p. 24)

"The way yellow fever spread was a mystery. It did not seem to pass directly from person to person, or contaminate food or drinking water, but it was often carried from one community to another by people fleeing a disease-ridden town." (p. 24)

I didn't quite find what I was looking for but perhaps the Paizo community has a resident medical historian to give us a hand ... Wouldn't 'infected invisible stalkers' be a close equivalent to superstitions about the spread of disease in the middle ages?

Well done, Joshua, I think this is quite clever.

[roguerouge]

Well, that's certainly classy.

[Trevor Gulliver]

Hey Joshua,

I hope you don't mind but I needed to procrastinate. I wanted to see what your lair would look like with a bit of colour added and, besides, I'm sure all of us can use a run down house temple with holes in the floor. etc. I'm not an artist but this is what I came up with. I only had to go to the text for info in two places. Did I miss anything important?

Cheers,
Trevor

[Joshua Blazej]

I really do thank you for taking your time to do this, but I think that I should wait until voting is over until commenting further on the map.

[Gark the Goblin]

Made before reading other reviews:
Map cohesion/clarity, Mechanics, Playability, Fluff, Overall (includes grammatical and spelling errors).
Map cohesion/clarity: Yay for graph paper!
Unfortunately, the scanner didn't do that well in picking up on details, like words and symbols.
The stairs look like they would be headed east, but the legend is too muddled to see whether the thing under the arrow is a symbol or spells “top” (I realized that it must be “top,” but my case is proved).
The map doesn't score well for clarity, but is straightforward and easily drawn on a battle mat. Out of 10: 6
Mechanics: The mechanics of this lair are user-friendly and clear-cut. The sick humans, possessed stalkers, and hungry xorns make for unique, interesting encounters. The only instance of confusion is the sick humans; I'd like to know how far the disease has progressed and when their next saving throw is made, in case a PC group without a divine caster tries to help them. I also enjoy the references to sources (especially Volner Tain's stat source). Out of 10: 8
Playability: There are a few problems concerning the mindset of the xorns and leukodaemons. Aren't xorns intelligent?
Aside from the RP-ing problems, this looks good. Volner is an easy-to-play evil guy, and the crazy people are pretty fun to do too. I could see myself using this lair in a city. Out of 10: 7
Fluff: Good, original stuff. This is the first adventure/lair/string of encounters I've seen that has daemons (besides the CotCT stuff, which I'm not going to read for fear of spoilers if I play it in a campaign later on). The filth is sure to gross PCs out, even if they've already run an “Age of Worms” or “Spawn of Sehan” campaign. The PC-read text is very good, with enough vibe to make them feel like they're in a world that doesn't just center around the campaign and NPCs they have direct contact with (especially the Erastil chapel aspect). Out of 10: 8
Overall: Blazej used an apostrophe in “its” when it was used to indicate possession. Bad you. He also has a few grammar mistakes and other spelling errors, resulting in a -2 to the total score. Overall, a unique “adventure,” thanks to the daemons, crazy people, and low-powered critters mixed up with high-level monsters. Sure, they're not appropriate, but they make it interesting! Out of 40: 27

[Charles Evans 25]

Commiserations.

[Joshua Blazej]

I would like to thank everyone that voted for me. It has been a fun run. I'm sorry I was not able to do my part to make the voting tighter this round.

Tarren Dei wrote:

Hey Joshua,

I hope you don't mind but I needed to procrastinate. I wanted to see what your lair would look like with a bit of colour added and, besides, I'm sure all of us can use a run down house temple with holes in the floor. etc. I'm not an artist but this is what I came up with. I only had to go to the text for info in two places. Did I miss anything important?

Cheers,
Trevor

That looks accurate to what I presented, and very cool as well. Although the marks on the back are supposed to be windows and not door, but it still is very cool and I'm very thankful that you did it.

[Gark the Goblin]

Looks like only one of my votes got in. Too bad; woulda liked to see some more of that descriptive text in an adventure. :\

[Joshua Blazej]

Once again I would like to thank everyone for their comments and support. I was incredibly happy to be able to take part in this contest with so many talented people. Before the final round of voting began, I wanted to post a revised version of the lair I had made for this round. I feel as if I've made some improvements on the previous version.

I felt as if this were unfinished and that I wanted to revise it before I moved on to other projects. If there are errors in this version, things that I could do better, I will be disappointed as I always am, but I will work harder in the future to improve.

Here is the revised lair.

The Putrid Temple of Volner Tain
This temple was once the central location for guiding the morality of the community as the town grew into a sprawling city, but that was long ago. Now the building has become the base of operations for the thrice-damned Volner Tain in a plot to spread a plague of evil upon the world. Volner’s ambitious plan to use a disease of his own creation to corrupt humanity as he had been and watch as they commit more atrocities than he could ever manage alone.

1. Temple Exterior
An assortment of warped and rotting wood composes the building. Above the door is a heavily scarred engraving of a bow and arrow. Scrawled across the exterior of the building are prayers to dark powers, messages of hatred of those that live within the city and outside, and assurances that those who have wronged the writer will suffer.

Creatures: A unique Iron Golem guards the front entrance. Shaped into the form of set of human-sized full plate wielding a spear the golem’s chest carries the symbol of the city guard. Tain commanded it to guard the entrance to the temple and kill those who attempt to enter the temple. Once combat breaks out the Leukodaemons in area 3 ready for combat and begin attacking creatures outside the temple 1d4 rounds later.

Iron Golem Guard CR 13
N Medium construct
AC 31, touch 9, flat-footed 31
hp 129 (MM 136)
Melee 2 slams +24 (2d8+11) or
Space/Reach: 5 ft./10 ft.
===== Statistics =====
CMB +27

2. Diseased Temple Hall (CR 13)
The sound of flies permeates the building, their focus on the filth residing across the aisles. Several large holes in the ceiling open up the room to the sky above. In a corner at the north end of the room there is a pile of destroyed benches. Up above there is a long wooden ledge holding up wooden and stone statues that watch the temple floor. The remaining benches face the northern wall where a faded and cracked painting of a tranquil scene of people performing tasks to maintain a small village. It shows several men out plowing fields while others hunt and bring back fresh game. Another portion displays women of the town caring for children and cooking meals. At the center of the action is a cleric of Erastil guiding and encouraging the folk to complete their tasks. While most of the damage done to the scene through the passage of time, there are blade marks across the wall where someone stabbed and slashed at the people depicted within. Special attention was paid to the cleric as his eyes have been gouged and large hole is left where his heart would be.
The door that leads into the room in the back (Area 3), is obscured by the pile of broken benches. A DC 15 Perception check allows a character to detect the door while it is under the pile of rubble. A full-round action is enough to clear enough of the pile to open the door and enter that room.

Creatures: A group of invisible stalkers in this room have been infected with Tain’s disease and now wait for Volner to unleash them upon the land. A pair of leukodaemons watches their progress and that of the disease from the ledges above.

Diseased Invisible Stalkers (4) CR 7
NE Large elemental (air, extraplanar)
hp 52 (MM 160)
Melee 2 slams +10 (2d6+4) or diseased touch +9 (Tain’s Whispers)
Wis 14
===== Tactics =====
During Combat The diseased invisible stalkers prefer to remain in the temple targeting creatures that cannot detect them.
Morale A diseased invisible stalker retreats out of the temple if their Wisdom drain is healed or they are reduced to 15 hit points or less.
Base Statistics Each of the invisible stalkers are suffering from 1 point of Wisdom drain. If healed, a diseased invisible stalkers statistics change as follows:
N Large elemental (air, extraplanar)
Melee 2 slams +10 (2d6+4)
Wis 15
===== Special Abilities =====
Diseased Air (Ex) As a standard action, a diseased invisible stalker can make a touch attack on a target within reach to cause them to be afflicted with Tain’s Whispers.

Tain’s Whispers
Level 8 disease, injury; Save Will DC 16
===== Effects =====
Frequency 1 day; Effect 1d6 Wis damage to non-evil creatures, if more than 4 Wis damage, target must make an additional Will save or take 1 Wis drain and have their alignment shift one step toward evil until the drain is healed. Evil creatures instead are targeted with a geas/quest (caster level 11) to kill a sentient creature.Cure 2 consecutive saves

Leukodaemon (2) CR 9
hp 95 (Pathfinder #8 80)
===== Tactics =====
During Combat The leukodaemons like to perch themselves above their foes while using their ranged attacks. They first target retreating creatures even if they are not a threat in combat. They would rather not deal with the aftermath of creatures spreading information about their location.
Morale If outside the leukodaemons both retreat into the temple if either the iron golem guard is destroyed or is left unable to attack the party. They fight to the death otherwise.

3. Destroyed Room (CR 12)
These rooms have been torn apart. The remains of a smashed desk and a scattered straw bed rest on the floor. On the eastern side of the room, the floor has been broken open to reveal a set of stone stairs leading into the ground. Glowing runes along the stairs and stone walls light the passageway down.
Trash and rubbish are all that remains in this destroyed area.

Traps: Both traps in the room are triggered by entering the first 10 ft of the stairs. The Daemonic Possession Trap only activates when a humanoid moves into the area. If a character attempts to search the area for traps while both exist, they make only one Perception check and you compare that to both the traps to determine if they detect the shocking floor trap or both.

The shocking floor trap affects creatures in this room or the trapped area.

If the daemonic possession trap affects a character, a fragment of a daemonic mind takes control of them. The daemonic forced commands the dominated creature to follow along with the party and act normally among them until they encounter Tain. When the dominated character finds Tain, they are ordered to betray the party and aid Volner in the battle. If the character becomes aware of a spell that would suppress the domination effect, they are commanded to attack the other party members in reponse. If the party retreat from the temple the dominated character is commanded to sneak away from the party and return to Tain.

Resetting Shocking Floor Trap CR 10
Reset automatic
(Pathfinder RPG Beta)

Daemonic Possession Trap CR 11
Type magic; Search DC 31; Disable Device 31
===== Effects =====
Trigger proximity (alarm); Reset none
Effect spell effect (dominate person as if cast by an evil wizard, CL 9th, DC 18 Will save negates)

4. Underground Cavern (CR 11)
The stairs open up into a large stone cavern with several pillars of rock holding up the ceiling. There is a circle of runes that runs around the edge of the room that gives off a soft red glow that lights the room.

The circle of runes around the room seals any creatures marked by Tain in the room. It prevents the branded creatures from attacking Tain, the circle, or leaving the circle.

Circle of Runes
hp 50; Hardness 20; Break DC 28

Creatures: While in the process of gathering the materials for his plans, Volner was confronted by a group of celestials. A mated pair of avorals is all that remains of that group. Tain has sealed them within this room, afflicted the pair with his disease, and promised one of them freedom if they killed their mate. He now waits with a sort of glee to see when one of them breaks down and slays the other.

The avorals, Orinesai and Marisoul, both heavily affected by the progression of the disease have become more desperate to free themselves. Marisoul is still unwilling to kill Orinesai and would rather capture a powerful creature, like an adventure, and force them to break the seal around the room so the two can escape. Orinesai on the other hand is now willing to kill Marisoul in trade for freedom and now only waits for Marisoul to be in a weakened position before attacking.

Orinesai and Marisoul, Corrupted Avorals CR 9
NE Medium outsider (extraplanar)
hp 66 (MM 141)
Will +7
Wis 14
===== Tactics =====
Before Combat If given time to prepare they cast aid and blur (not included in stats) on themselves.
During Combat Both focus their attacks on creatures targeting Orinesai and save lay on hands for when Orinesai is injured.
Morale If the circle sealing them in the room is destroyed both flee up the stairs, otherwise they fight to the death. If their Wisdom drain is cured, they thank their rescuers and are willing to offer any assistance they can, but Orinesai would rather not have Marisoul be brought toward Tain just to be put into any peril again.
Base Statistics Each of the avorals are suffering from 2 points of Wisdom drain. If healed, their statistics change as follows:
NG Medium outsider (extraplanar, good)
Will +8
Wis 16

5. Tain’s Chapel (CR 17)
The tunnel expands into a wide cavern with a variety of pillars crowding the room. Covering each of the pillars are numerous carvings of screaming faces. Out of the mouths and eye pour out sludge that flows into cracks in the rock ground. At the south end of the room is a stone altar.
Carved into the walls are various notes taken by Volner, each noting hatred for a deity and listing a preferred method of destroying their followers.
The various oozes coming out of the columns are the materials Volner uses in the creation of his disease. It cause no immediate harm unless one ingests it, in which case it deals 1d6 points of Con damage (DC 21 Fortitude save negates)
This is the living quarters of Volner Tain and the return point of his word of recall. Currently, if he casts word of recall he teleports just north of the altar.
Creatures: If not alerted of intruders Volner Tain works at the altar going through maps of the area and going through notes on the creation of Tain’s Whispers he has in motion. If he hears combat coming from the other room Volner’s first concern is to gather the materials and place them within a secret compartment along with various falsified documents naming powerful benevolent healers as his accomplices. Next to the altar before preparing for combat by casting air walk, invisibility, and shield of faith. He then takes a position behind a pillar and waits until the party are approaching the room to cast divine power and engaging the party. Volner is cautious to avoid needlessly losing his notes on creating Tain’s Whispers, as it would take several weeks to rebuild them and it might allow a group to develop a cure for the disease. If they do fall into the hands of an enemy, Tain starts the release of the plague immediately without finishing any other preparations that would have enhanced the devastation the disease would cause. He hopes that the party wastes their time accusing and assaulting the innocent he names as his allies for spreading the disease. Since casting word of recall would take Volner Tain to this room, he does not use it to retreat from battle.

Volner Tain CR 17
hp 123 (RPG Superstar 2009 Round 3)