The lil' ninjaneer has built what looks like a wooden scarecrow out the splintered pieces of dock. "Hair" of rusty nails and algae top off an awkward, grotesque block of a head. The thing only has one arm, and it's "legs" are entirely too small for proper carriage. They also seem to have no knees, and are driven deep into a muddy patch.
"It's perfect!! Look everybody, I made a golem! Can any of y'all animate my construct for me?"
*Grumbles*
Alright, fine.*Animates*
Happy?
"Fresh!" Frazz dances excitedly as the pathetic construct begins to struggle free of the mud.
The decrepit construct rips one stilted leg free of the mud, then falls over. It flails in the mud stiffly.
Shaking her head in disappointment, Frazz lectures the golem.
"Y'all need to get up, plank. I'm gonna call you plank. That's what you is. Nothin' but a bunch of planks, planked all together. Get up now, plank!"
The decrepit construct rips one stilted leg free of the mud, then falls over. It flails in the mud stiffly.
Oh, darn. The creepy stick man fell and can't get up.
*Yawns*
As if encouraged by this abuse, Plank struggles to its feet. Once ambulatory, the thing hobbles around in circles, finally stopping in front of another piece of scrap from the dock. It tries to pick the scrap wood up, but having no knees, is unable to bend to get it. Instead, the golem leans forward, loses its balance, and falls face-down again.
"It's useless. Look at it. Just layin' there. I gotta do everything for this baby? Hmpph."
Frazz walks over to where the construct has fallen and bends down to work on it some more, muttering, "Plank, Yo mama so ugly they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies," seemingly unaware that she is, arguably, insulting herself.
As if encouraged by this abuse, Plank struggles to its feet. Once ambulatory, the thing hobbles around in circles, finally stopping in front of another piece of scrap from the dock. It tries to pick the scrap wood up, but having no knees, is unable to bend to get it. Instead, the golem leans forward, loses its balance, and falls face-down again.
Step right up, folks! Place yer bets! How long can the golem stay up! You decide! Only 5 sp. to place a bet!
As if encouraged by this abuse, Plank struggles to its feet. Once ambulatory, the thing hobbles around in circles, finally stopping in front of another piece of scrap from the dock. It tries to pick the scrap wood up, but having no knees, is unable to bend to get it. Instead, the golem leans forward, loses its balance, and falls face-down again.Step right up, folks! Place yer bets! How long can the golem stay up! You decide! Only 5 sp. to place a bet!
The treant shakes its upper branches, in turn shaking the skeleton of a thief that died so long ago in human years. The thief's purse lands at the feet of the kobold.
The contents of that purse on the Plank lasting a full round. I have faith in the wood.
If you can't cover the bet Little Cleaver simply ask your brothers Wally and Theodore to pitch in.
As if encouraged by this abuse, Plank struggles to its feet. Once ambulatory, the thing hobbles around in circles, finally stopping in front of another piece of scrap from the dock. It tries to pick the scrap wood up, but having no knees, is unable to bend to get it. Instead, the golem leans forward, loses its balance, and falls face-down again.Step right up, folks! Place yer bets! How long can the golem stay up! You decide! Only 5 sp. to place a bet!The treant shakes its upper branches, in turn shaking the skeleton of a thief that died so long ago in human years. The thief's purse lands at the feet of the kobold.
The contents of that purse on the Plank lasting a full round. I have faith in the wood.
If you can't cover the bet Little Cleaver simply ask your brothers Wally and Theodore to pitch in.
Be right back.
*Goes to Jack's thread, and comes back badly wounded clutching a bloody purse*As it turns out, my Uncle Meepo put a trap on Cousin Joe's purse. AT least I got...the gold...
*Falls unconscious, the purse falling into the deep water never to be seen again*
*comes to the pond with a flamethrower* Time to have a little fun! *takes flamethrower and points it at Plank* *Plank soon catches on fire!* *turns flamethrower on the large Treant, Emperor.* *Emperor starts to catch on fire* Muhahahaha! *Runs back to the Jack thread *
*comes to the pond with a flamethrower* Time to have a little fun! *takes flamethrower and points it at Plank* *Plank soon catches on fire!* *turns flamethrower on the large Treant, Emperor.* *Emperor starts to catch on fire* Muhahahaha! *Runs back to the Jack thread *
Frazz blinks, slightly singed by the burning death dealt to Plank, whom she was trying to repair, or make better, but it was a hopeless situation, so she shrugs off the bits of flaming ash that remain and calls after the Jack:
"Jack! Ay, Hey Jack! Yo mama so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone."
Pops head out of riled pond
What the ding dang is goin' on at our pond? Burnin' golems, flamethrowin' golems, pixies doin' the dozens an' hyper kobolds. I just wanted my Cthulhu floaty. Gee whiz.
Snags tattered Cthulhu floaty. Attemps to patch up leaky tentacles with duct tape. Climbs aboard and promptly sinks.
Fudge nutters!
Looks up from his sunning rock
There's so much anarchy here it might be time to harnass it productively. I vote we form a syndicate! We can all take turns acting as a sort of executive officer of the week, but all the decisions of that officer have to be ratified at a special bi-weekly meeting,by a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs,but by a two-thirds majority in the case of more major ...
The beaten-up peasant rattles on for a good half hour.
*casts create water over treant to put out fire*
*casts cure light on injured ninja*
*casts cure serious on injured kobold*
*casts repair item on cthulhu floater*
There, I think that was everything.
Wow, yo sure are a great priest Lynora, always with the right spells at the ready.
Now if you could cast Silence on the peasant, I would be most garteful!
Thank you little one. Have you ever considered the druidical arts? We have a great health plan.
Now to go animate the compost heap at the Jack Clubhouse...
Looks up from his sunning rock
There's so much anarchy here it might be time to harnass it productively. I vote we form a syndicate! We can all take turns acting as a sort of executive officer of the week, but all the decisions of that officer have to be ratified at a special bi-weekly meeting,by a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs,but by a two-thirds majority in the case of more major ...
The beaten-up peasant rattles on for a good half hour.
Wanders over to where the syndicalist is blabbering about his model ideas for a bureaucracy. After only a short moment her countenance glazes over and a small puddle of drool has collected at her feet.
The ninjaneer shakes off the stupor induced by the peasant's ridiculous quasi-marxist rhetoric, and calls for help.
"Ay, priestess lady, or druid woman, or whatever! Hey! You forgots something. You need to cast shut up on this fool over here!"
Thanks Junior.
Ever think of joining the Thieves Guild? I am sure we could help build you a nice 'shiney' treasure trove. For a small gratuity of course.
I'll think about it, but first... *looks at the pond*
CANNONBALL!!*jumps in creating waves and finding the bag of gold that KC lost*
Hey Cj found some gold for my hoard. *Lays back sends gold to hidden cave magically, sighs, and just enjoys the water.*
Looks up from his sunning rock
There's so much anarchy here it might be time to harnass it productively. I vote we form a syndicate! We can all take turns acting as a sort of executive officer of the week, but all the decisions of that officer have to be ratified at a special bi-weekly meeting,by a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs,but by a two-thirds majority in the case of more major ...
The beaten-up peasant rattles on for a good half hour.
Wanders over to where the syndicalist is blabbering about his model ideas for a bureaucracy. After only a short moment her countenance glazes over and a small puddle of drool has collected at her feet.
The ninjaneer shakes off the stupor induced by the peasant's ridiculous quasi-marxist rhetoric, and calls for help.
"Ay, priestess lady, or druid woman, or whatever! Hey! You forgots something. You need to cast shut up on this fool over here!"
Mull wonders in from the canceled Terror at Trollmarsh play by post, fingers and beard sticky with pastry goodness, but looking rather forlorn and lost.
"My play-by-post got canceled."
He looks over at the little ninja and the anarcho-syndicalist peasant, listening with interest to the shout for priestly help.
"Oooooh! I'm a priest!" he exclaims, shuffling over to the anarcho-syndicalist peasant and smiting him with a Vision of Madness.
Wow, yo sure are a great priest Lynora, always with the right spells at the ready.
Now if you could cast Silence on the peasant, I would be most garteful!
I have a scroll collection like you wouldn't believe. It pays to be prepared.
Mull wonders in from the canceled Terror at Trollmarsh play by post, fingers and beard sticky with pastry goodness, but looking rather forlorn and lost.
"My play-by-post got canceled."
He looks over at the little ninja and the anarcho-syndicalist peasant, listening with interest to the shout for priestly help.
"Oooooh! I'm a priest!" he exclaims, shuffling over to the anarcho-syndicalist peasant and smiting him with a Vision of Madness.
Oh, that's just overkill. You're going to have to cast it again to knock him all the way to sane.
Oh, that's just overkill. You're going to have to cast it again to knock him all the way to sane.
Mull wonders in from the canceled Terror at Trollmarsh play by post, fingers and beard sticky with pastry goodness, but looking rather forlorn and lost.
"My play-by-post got canceled."
He looks over at the little ninja and the anarcho-syndicalist peasant, listening with interest to the shout for priestly help.
"Oooooh! I'm a priest!" he exclaims, shuffling over to the anarcho-syndicalist peasant and smiting him with a Vision of Madness.
"Nah. It's nothing but one of my 1st-level Domain powers. He'll be fine in a few rounds."
Eyes glaze over as Vision of Madness takes hold. Begins to babble even faster:
"The prelude of the revolution that laid the foundation of the capitalist mode of production, was played in the last third of the 5th, and the first decade of the 6th century. A mass of free proletarians was hurled on the labour-market by the breaking-up of the bands of Briton retainers, who, as Sir Bors well says, “everywhere uselessly filled house and castle.” Although the royal power, itself a product of bourgeois development, in its strife after absolute Saxon hegemony forcibly hastened on the dissolution of these bands of retainers, it was by no means the sole cause of it. In insolent conflict with king and parliament, the great feudal lords created an incomparably larger proletariat by the forcible driving of the peasantry from the land, to which the latter had the same feudal right as the lord himself, and by the usurpation of the common lands. The rapid rise of the Flemish wool manufactures, and the corresponding rise in the price of wool in England, gave the direct impulse to these evictions. The old Briton nobility had been devoured by the great Saxon migrations. The new nobility was the child of its time, for which money was the power of all powers. Transformation of arable land into sheep-walks was, therefore, its cry. Sir Bedevere, in his “Description of England, prefixed to Bede’s Chronicles,” describes how the expropriation of small peasants is ruining the country. “What care our great encroachers?” The dwellings of the peasants and the cottages of the labourers were razed to the ground or doomed to decay. “If,” says Sir Bedevere, “the old records of euerie manour be sought... it will soon appear that in some manour seventeene, eighteene, or twentie houses are shrunk... that England was neuer less furnished with people than at the present... Of cities and townes either utterly decaied or more than a quarter or half diminished, though some one be a little increased here or there; of townes pulled downe for sheepe-walks, and no more but the lordships now standing in them... I could saie somewhat.” The complaints of these old chroniclers are always exaggerated, but they reflect faithfully the impression made on contemporaries by the revolution in the conditions of production. A comparison of the writings of Merlin and Sir Lancelot reveals the gulf between the 5th and 6th century. As Sir Bedevere rightly has it, the English working-class was precipitated without any transition from its golden into its dark age."
Takes newly-repaired Cthulhu floater and hops into pond
WHEEE!!!!
**SPLASH**
THANKS LYNORA!
*casts create water over treant to put out fire*
*casts cure light on injured ninja*
*casts cure serious on injured kobold*
*casts repair item on cthulhu floater*
There, I think that was everything.
Ugh, thanks.
*Wanders off*
Eyes glaze over as Vision of Madness takes hold. Begins to babble even faster:
"The prelude of the revolution that laid the foundation of the capitalist mode of production, was played in the last third of the 5th, and the first decade of the 6th century. A mass of free proletarians was hurled on the labour-market...
Leaps violently towards the peasant, hangs anime- and matrix-style in the air, then roundly kicks him in the stomach.
"Shaddddup!!"
Creeps forward among the rushes, scanning the pond with field glasses, looking for froggies.
*plops into the water, chases some froggies. Gets out and shakes off all over Big Tex's field glasses.*
Bzzzzzzzz. ::::Moquitos fly in every direction:::
*casts magic circle of insect repellant*
*snaps and barks neurotically at mosquitoes*
The frogs should eat well tonight with all these Mosquitoes buzzing about.
Good boy, Beav. Pats the poofy hound on the head. Now you just keep your eyes peeled fer sum froggies. Slathers himself with more of Panama Jack's Insect Repellent.
Good boy, Beav. Pats the poofy hound on the head. Now you just keep your eyes peeled fer sum froggies. Slathers himself with more of Panama Jack's Insect Repellent.
May I inquire sir, exactly why are you watching so intently for frogs?
Splashes contentedly in the pond atop his Cthulhu floaty
Eyes glaze over as Vision of Madness takes hold. Begins to babble even faster:
"The prelude of the revolution that laid the foundation of the capitalist mode of production..."
"Ooooh, that backfired. Yikes."
Shrugs, disrobes, and wades into the frog pond, grabbing a cthulu floater--once a rare commodity, but now so abundant!
"Ah, Cthulu. Patron pantheon of the mad and chaotic. Teach me."
Mull appears to listen intently to the cthulu floater.
*bubbles once again rise to the surface of the Frog Pond*
Cthulu floaters take on new meaning. An abundant one.
Looks around at all the strange folk cluttering up his home
Don't you guys have somewhere else to go?
Spashes off his Cthulhu floaty and swims it over to the farther unspoiled reaches of the pond
The madness-struck peasant babbles on:
"...Hence, we had both the spontaneous awakening of the working masses, their awakening to conscious life and conscious struggle, and a revolutionary peasantry, armed with Anarcho-Syndicalist theory and straining towards the workers. In this connection it is particularly important to state the oft-forgotten (and comparatively little-known) fact that, although the early Anarcho-Syndicalists of that period zealously carried on economic agitation they did not regard this as their sole task. On the contrary, from the very beginning they set for Brittanic Anarcho-Syndicalisism the most far-reaching historical tasks, in general, and the task of overthrowing the autocracy, in particular. Thus, towards the end of 595, the Londinium group of Anarcho-Syndicalists , which founded the League of Struggle for the Emancipation of the Peasant Class, prepared the first issue of a newspaper called the Lake Pahoe Guardian. This issue was ready to go to press when it was seized by knights, on the night of December 8, 595, so that the first edition of the Lake Pahoe Guardian was not destined to see the light of day. The leading article in this issue outlined the historical tasks of the peasant class in Briton and placed the achievement of political liberty at their head. The issue also contained an article entitled “What Are Our Barons Thinking About?” which dealt with the crushing of the elementary education committees by the rural fyrd. In addition, there was some correspondence from Mercia, and from other parts of Briton (e.g., a letter on the massacre of the peasants in York). This, “first effort”, if we are not mistaken, of the British Anarcho-Syndicalists of the nineties was not a purely local, or less still, “Economic”, newspaper, but one that aimed to unite the peasant movement with the revolutionary movement against the autocracy, and to win over to the side of Anarcho-Syndicalism all who were oppressed by the policy of reactionary obscurantism. No one in the slightest degree acquainted with the state of the movement at that period could doubt that such a paper would have met with warm response among the workers of Londinium and the revolutionary intelligentsia and would have had a wide circulation. The failure of the enterprise merely showed that the Anarcho-Syndicalists of that period were unable to meet the immediate requirements of the time owing to their lack of revolutionary experience and practical training. This must be said, too, with regard to the Knights who say 'nee' and particularly with regard to The Chicken of Bristol and the Manifesto of the Ministry of Silly Walks, founded in the spring of 598. Of course, we would not dream of blaming the Anarcho-Syndicalists of that time for this unpreparedness. But in order to profit from the experience of that movement, and to draw practical lessons from it, we must thoroughly understand the causes and significance of this or that shortcoming. It is therefore highly important to establish the fact that a part (perhaps even a majority) of the Anarcho-Syndicalists, active in the period of 595-98, justly considered it possible even then, at the very beginning of the “spontaneous” movement, to come forward with a most extensive programme and a militant tactical line. Lack of training of the majority of the revolutionaries, an entirely natural phenomenon, could not have roused any particular fears. Once the tasks were correctly defined, once the energy existed for repeated attempts to fulfil them, temporary failures represented only part misfortune. Revolutionary experience and organisational skill are things that can be acquired, provided the desire is there to acquire them, provided the shortcomings are recognised, which in revolutionary activity is more than half-way towards their removal. "
May I inquire sir, exactly why are you watching so intently for frogs?
Urr...awkwardly removes his hat...howdy, ma'am. Cuz, this is a right good place for frog watchin', ma'am. And this being my off-season and all, I love watchin' critters, and froggies 'r one a the most interestin' critters to watch. Oh! There's one now! Goes splashing off in pursuit of the floating froggie, inadvertently knocking the yammering peasant into a deep patch of mud.
Splashes into the mud patch. Seems to be shaken out of his demented rambling
Hmm, There's some lovely filth down here ...
In a loud nasally voice
Did you all see that? That's what I'm on about! Bloody give away.
COME SEE THE VIOLENCE INHERENT IN THE TEXAN!
Splashes into the mud patch. Seems to be shaken out of his demented rambling
Hmm, There's some lovely filth down here ...
In a loud nasally voice
Did you all see that? That's what I'm on about! Bloody give away.
COME SEE THE VIOLENCE INHERENT IN THE TEXAN!
You think that's violence? I'll show you some real violence, Jack style. *gives the peasant a beating he doesn't forget* *after the beating, puts the peasant's head face first into the mud and gives the peasant a couple of swift kicks in the rear end*
The peasant struggles, but is no match for the drunken metallic golem
MMMLRGGGGSSH*
*Translation:
I'll show you some real violence, Jack style.
[SARCASM]Shocking.[/SARCASM]
I'll show you some real violence, Jack style.[SARCASM]Shocking.[/SARCASM]
Don't knock it to you try it Courtfool. It's great for releasing tension.
I can think of other, more reproductive, means of relieving tension.
I can think of other, more reproductive, means of relieving tension.
By playing with squeaky toys and chasing sticks? *sigh* You poodles are capable of so much more. It's a shame.