So...I won't go into the manifold troubles I've experienced since I moved here, but to top it all off, my wife just got robbed. Two guys pushed her down and grabbed her purse only a few feet from the door to our apartment building. I heard her scream and jumped-ran down four flights of stairs but by the time I got there they were long gone.
The city's finest were very polite and helpful, that's the only good news about the whole stinking mess.
Time to move.
Disillusioned in NYC,
Nick
Ah man, that sucks. Is your wife alright? I hope so.
Yeah, she's fine. I was very relieved that she was okay and they just snagged her purse. When I heard her screaming my heart almost exploded with panic. I was actually totally giddily relieved when I saw she'd just been robbed.
Money is only money, but the love of my life is precious beyond measure.
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I'm really sorry to hear about that. I won't pretend to be a cheerleader for the city, because to me NYC is just another big city, and I'd be pretty much done with those if I didn't think I'd choke on small town or suburban life. I hope she's okay, and if you make it to the night out whenever that happens in October I'll buy a round and you can grouse all you'd like about New York.
I'm really sorry to hear about that. I won't pretend to be a cheerleader for the city, because to me NYC is just another big city, and I'd be pretty much done with those if I didn't think I'd choke on small town or suburban life. I hope she's okay, and if you make it to the night out whenever that happens in October I'll buy a round and you can grouse all you'd like about New York.
Ha! Thanks IconoclasticScream. We'll have to go through LOTS of rounds for me to get the last few months frustrations out...we'll take turns buying! :-)
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Thing is Nick, I don’t know what other problems you’ve had in New York, but as far as crime goes, the problems aren’t just limited to NYC.
I live in what is generally considered a fairly nice area of Sydney Australia (far smaller and probably generally considered friendlier and less dangerous than New York), just outside the city CBD.
A few years ago a group of guys tried to mug me just outside a busy city train station. I got away with no more than a massive bump on my head, but the police said they had a pretty good idea who the guys were, but couldn’t prove it, and couldn’t do much about it (as they were under age and protected by the local community).
Last year a guy decided he’d try to use me as a punching bag because we were both trying to flag down the same cab.
A few weeks ago someone stole some equipment attached to the side of our house, while my partner and baby were at home, inside. These guys would have known someone was home, but had no qualms about coming into the yard and taking their time stealing stuff. This was about 9pm on a Friday night on a reasonably busy street. Around the same time a household a few streets away form us suffered a ‘home invasion’.
Moral of the story: there are some real a$%$#&@s out there. And cities attract them (and crime).
Moral of the story: there are some real a*@&#@#s out there. And cities attract them (and crime).
Werd.
So sorry to hear about all that evil madness Moth. That sucks. I hope things go better for you from here on out my man.
We've just had the WORST spell of luck since we got to the city. Nothing has gone right for us so far. I think it's the Fates trying to tell me something, and I usually like to listen to the Fates.
It's not just this one incident of crime (which could have been A LOT worse), but we've had no luck finding jobs, we've been hassled by banks and post offices (like nothing I've ever seen...quick anecdote: The local branch of my bank won't let my wife deposit her checks into my account cause they claim she's not a U.S. citizen...cause she has an ID from Hawai'i...this is the kind of ridiculous people I have to deal with on a daily basis since I moved here...I wish I could make this stuff up).
So yeah, crime aside, the city just has NOT been kind to us yet, and frankly I don't like the stink and noise and unhappy people everywhere. It's depressing. I lived in Beijing for years, which is far more overcrowded and it wasn't as bad as here. So much anger and despair on the street everyday...it sucks to live in.
I'm obviously really really down about it right now, but this has been a pattern really, and I want out. Here's hoping I can get a good job elsewhere real soon.
I'm sorry to hear about the city trauma, Nic. I'm also glad your wife is unhurt.
If I get this university museum gig I'm gunning for down in TN I'll see if they have any openings in the drama dept. ;-)
Sweet! That would be awesome Gav (and great meeting you at the con by the way)! I don't know if I could convince my wife to move to TN, she has an irrational fear of the south (even though I was born there!). It's almost an allergy really. But me: Dixie forever.
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Ha! Thanks IconoclasticScream. We'll have to go through LOTS of rounds for me to get the last few months frustrations out...we'll take turns buying! :-)
I'm still making my way through rounds from escaping that damned hurricane. I might get around to my NYC frustrations some time in late March 2008, but please bring all of yours you'd like.
I'll bring extra livers for us in case things need to go into overtime. :)
I've lived in NYC for the last 12 years and I love it. I was robbed once a few years ago and there are certain drawbacks, but the benefits far outweigh them.
Come to Los Angeles, Nick! We have much better weather, and while the people are largely plastic and fake....
Well, we have much better weather!
I kid Los Angeles, but I love it here. Born and raised in Southeast Michigan, and while I think Michigan is a great place to be from, I'm a city boy at heart. And since I hate cold, snow and winter, Los Angeles was really the short list.
Plus great views! Mountains! Earthquakes! Fires! Floods! Mudslides! Random freeway shootings! Everything is trying to kill you!
Glad to hear she is safe. Thank goodness they only wanted money. Unfortunately now you have to go through the entire process of cancelling the cards, replacing her identification, duplicating keys, changing locks, tracking credit (not to mention good lipsticks, "Hint of Coral" can be a real bugger to find). Seriously sucks, but her well being is obviously paramount.
Not sure about the laws in New York (they are quasi-legal here), but my wife carries a taser and I sleep much better knowing she has it (although she's hit herself twice now with it, don't ask, but yeah, they work great). I grew up in a very pro-gun household, but I'm not comfortable at all having one in the house, or with her having to quibble over shooting someone who wishes her ill, so it's a good compromise.
My wife and I have only been to New York once. On a lark two years ago, we drove to watch the ball drop (10ish hour drive, wasn't too bad). Stayed in New Jersey (shudder), took the path train (I think that's what it was called) over, ate in what has to be the sorriest Applebee's ever, almost got crushed to death by moving crowd once. Overall though we had a really good time. Walked around quite a bit, saw the big tree, did a little shopping, only had to give someone the "I'm from Detroit" eye once. We both would like to go again (except for the New Jersey part, sorry Jersey people) some time when we have a few days to explore more.
I've lived in NYC for the last 12 years and I love it. I was robbed once a few years ago and there are certain drawbacks, but the benefits far outweigh them.
I'm sure it can be a great place to live, don't get me wrong. It just hasn't been for us. Part of the problem is that we are broke. So when something bad happens it's a serious setback. Like a "we can't pay our rent" setback.
No offense to those who love the city. I think the city just hates me is all. I wish it the best...but I'll wish it that from far far away.
she has an irrational fear of the south
Has she ever watched Deliverence?
only had to give someone the "I'm from Detroit" eye once.
It cracks me up that the "I'm from Detroit" thing can be intimidating to NYCers. I'm one of the least intimidating people I know (full disclosure: I know some intimidating people), and I've used the "I'm from Detroit" thing to back down scary guys from NYC. Don't ask me why it worked.
Creative Director
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Wow... unbelievable. Having just visited with both of you last week it seems unreal that this could have happened...
I'm relieved your wife's okay, Nick, but wow. Last year, I had someone break into my place and make of with a few hundred DVDs and some video games, and the feeling I had after that was pretty gutwrenching. But that's nothing compared to being robbed in person.
Take care of yourselves, and don't hesitate to drop me a line if there's anything I can do to help.
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So...I won't go into the manifold troubles I've experienced since I moved here, but to top it all off, my wife just got robbed. Two guys pushed her down and grabbed her purse only a few feet from the door to our apartment building. I heard her scream and jumped-ran down four flights of stairs but by the time I got there they were long gone.
Disillusioned in NYC,
Nick
Very sorry to hear about what happend, i'm glad your wife, although shaken is alright. I was robbed by 3 guys in NJ (new yorks ugly sister) and the @#$! took my passport and watch from graduation to boot!
Before we lose you to TN or CA (LA is not indicative of the rest of beautiful california) lets get the NYC paizo group together shall we? - i'm taking an early flight back to NYC. Would the crew be available Sunday Sept 22 ? i booked a cabbana at Ono at the Gansevoort hotel for 4 pm - the first 3 pitchers of drinks are on me. Cheers
So i take it your wife's new favored enemy are burglars?
Wow, man, the mugging stories...
Sorry all! Glad she's Ok, Nick.
I haven't been robbed in person since Wally 'Wallbanger' stole my lunch money in grade 3.
May I attempt to lighten things up by telling a story of mugging justice? I've got a few of these, but this is the funniest:
My friend was a bike courier in a large Canadian city, a young healthy fellow with some great fighting skills and a serious death-wish (why else would he be a bike courier?).
One fine afternoon he was shortcutting through an alley, walking his bike because of a flat, and a few blocks from home the mugging begins. Another fellow, walking in the opposite direction drew a puny but still potentially lethal gun out, aimed it at my friend's head and demanded cash. He's carrying his rent but my friend nevertheless pulls his wallet, and with his pulse hammering and tunnel vision setting in steps toward the guy with the wallet-lets the bike fall-sidesteps and swings a kryptonite lock at this guys head connecting with both his jaw and arm.
As the story is told, not hearing the gunshot was the happiest moment in my friend's life--the radical moment when death faded back into the shadows. So the mugger is on the ground and my friend kicks the arm with the gun and sends it flying then begins boot-f*~*ing the mugger. Mr. Courier/Punisher snaps and the guy is now pretty helpless so my friend jumps on his chest and starts slapping him and berating him.
Unaware that two beat cops are running up behind, Punisher continues the beating and the next thing he knows the fast cop kicks him in the back and piles on top of him, feeding him some asphalt and alley slime and screaming bloody murder. The cop beats our hero for a few minutes while his buddy helps the mugger to his feet. The mugger runs. Cop 2 gives chase and flattens him. It's another fifteen minutes before my friend even gets to tell his story. Evidence is taken, the gun turns out to be empty, punks are jailed, and amidst all of the confusion both, YES even the would be mugger, finally get released and no charges are laid.
Justice is finally served a month later while my friend is on the job. The would be mugger is waiting for the bus, arm still in a sling from the lock attack, and my friend rides by, spots him, loops around, and drop kicks him while flying off the bike like Jet Li. The guy is stunned, the witnesses shocked, and my friend frisks the bum and steals his wallet with 25 bucks and a condom in it.
Damn. My heart goes out to you on this one. Nothing's more scary than knowing your girl is in trouble. And I lived in New York most of my life. It can be a pretty depressing place.
Keep your head up man. New York'll test you, no question. Not that it's any consolation, but you write some kickass D&D modules. I plan on buying the next one you write. (and because they're really good. Not like, out of sympathy or anything.)
Man that sucks; glad nobody got hurt; sheesh; got a rope? on a lighter note they dont make good salsa in NYC either. Nice place to visit; but I wouldnt want to live there. I did read it was amonst the most polite places in America but the crime and moral decay of that city is legendary.
Nick,
Glad your wife is OK. It's a terrible thing. Something like that would really shake me up. Hang tough.
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on a lighter note they dont make good salsa in NYC either. Nice place to visit; but I wouldnt want to live there.
THERE IS (almost) NO GOOD MEXICAN FOOD (salsa and guacamole et al) IN THE CITY!!!!
I actually had a 411 phone operator lamented this fact to me when i first moved to new york and i was calling about maxican restaurants. Niether is there an In and Out Burger (Sebastiian is blessed with these in his neck of the woods) and thankfuly a Trader Joe's finally opened.
Sorry, done venting.
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Sorry, brother. Come to Delaware! you can live in a decent suburb of Wilmington and look for work in that tiny lil' city. They have all sorts of artsy-fartsy things in the area, with the Playhouse Theatre and some decent childrens arts centers and stuff. I don't know what type of work you and your wife do but it has some pretty neat stuff going for it artistically, and business-wise there are a ton of top-ranked companies to work for in Delaware (Agilent Technologies, Astra-Zeneca, Several large banking corps, etc.).
Always room at the table for one of your talent also.
FH
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Glad that your wife is okay. Sorry to hear of your struggles.
If you are looking for the kind of place where stuff like that just doesn't happen, come on down to Moberly, Missouri. It is far enough north to not be part of the south, you can get a really big apartment in a well-maintained 100 year old Victorian mansion for $350 a month, and you are within 1/2 hour drive to several liberal arts colleges, all with good drama departments (including Stephens College, where George C. Scott was a teacher.) There are a lot of gamers around here, too. It's a lot of fun. And there are several great Mexican places in town. All in all a good place to live, if you can deal with most of the businesses shutting down at 6 P.M.
Nicolas,
As a long-time resident of Troy, NY (official motto: "Home of Uncle Sam"; unofficial motto: "Gangland Capital of the Upstate") I can sympathize. I left for warmer climes: VA, SC, TX... but I do miss the Catskills. But, man, even we considered NYC to be a part of New Jersey, because it gave the rest of the state a bad name. Hope like hell things look up for you. And that Paizo gives you a big pay hike for freelancing: your adventure writing is phenomenal.
Then again, being named "Nick" is a great head start for a New Yorker; just go by "Nicky," and you'll fit right in. When I lived in NY, I had dozens of friends all named Peter or Pauley (or sometimes Moishe, but that won't work for you unless you wear a yarmulke).
Sorry to hear that, Nick.
My older sister got mugged outside of her old apartment in Brooklyn only a few weeks before myself and my twin sister moved to the city for college. That prompted her to pick up and move to a nicer (but more expensive) area a few weeks later. I walked through the exact same neighborhood by myself at about 11:30 PM and had no incident. Just bad luck, don't let the douchebags chase you out.
Looking for work is definitely tough, though. Especially in the arts/music/drama sector, because basically everyone in the city is looking for those exact jobs. September's hit, though, which should lead to more jobs once companies get energized after the summer and start needing people. You'll find something.
I'm really sorry to hear about that. I won't pretend to be a cheerleader for the city, because to me NYC is just another big city, and I'd be pretty much done with those if I didn't think I'd choke on small town or suburban life. I hope she's okay, and if you make it to the night out whenever that happens in October I'll buy a round and you can grouse all you'd like about New York.Ha! Thanks IconoclasticScream. We'll have to go through LOTS of rounds for me to get the last few months frustrations out...we'll take turns buying! :-)
Um. Is that rounds of ammo or rounds of alcohol? Just so we are all on the same page here.
It is strange to think that all of us have played thieves in game, but that it is actually a pretty horrible thing to go through. I became hardened and streetwise from living in South Africa. I despise thieves and have scars from being mugged. I was mugged three times and burgled three times, in a country where I made less than the American minimum wage.
When I play Oblivion, or Baldur's Gate, I feel no qualms vacuum cleaning every npc hovel for valuables.
Strange how we humans are so adept at compartmentalising.
I faint at the sight of my own blood, but can watch Pulp fiction and laugh myself silly when the gun goes off and brains the young punk in the back.
It is only now, after five years of living in Asia, that I feel safe at night.
... posting again because this kind of stuff really gets to me for personal reasons, it's been eating away at me.
During my peripheral association with a women's self defense program (I was a mock assailant--some of my female colleagues were teaching it) I've seen that stuff like this can really have a profound effect on people.
You are a smart guy and I'm sure your wife is with it, too. But sometimes that just doesn't matter, and in the event this has an effect on her confidence or worse, I hope she can find a way to put it into perspective and get past it not just with her mind but with her heart. I mean I've seen some really strong people who were messed up from similar experiences and she deserves all the understanding and help she needs and there's never a simple fix when this s@$+ starts lurking into the shadows of your conscious mind and nibbling away your psyche day after day.
On the other hand, I've met a lot of people who can just shake this stuff off. Either way, a person really ought to mention this, and she really needs to know how many tough people who have been knocked off track by a threat like this so she doesn't feel like she is any lessened as a human being, or feels as if she is the only one with 'victim' or 'weakling' written across her forehead.
My prayers are with you both.
Keep up the awesome adventure writing, I'm really enjoying D1 right now and really apreciate your talent.
Take some time to see the good stuff there in NYC. Make a conscious effort to get to a gallery or a free concert or something. If you focus on the profane, you miss the sacred. Hell may be other people, but you are still in an urban mecca with few peers. Get back in touch with why you went there in the first place. Living in a Metropolis is not as easy as living in a decent small town, but there are definitely perks to it too.
I love your work, btw. It was fun to see you hamming it up in the delve video. I wish we could help you more directly. It takes a while to get over the violated feeling and start trusting again. That is really what thieves take, our feeling of being bound to others in trust.
Boy, but I am rambling lately.
I also have some crime stories from one of my college professors, Dave King. During the 70s/80s in New York, he worked as a cab driver while he was figuring out the art thing (before he realized he really wanted to write). He was driving through a street festival, with literally hundreds of people out on the street. It was super hot, so he had his window open and the shirt with the pocket where he kept his fare was on the floor. He's driving, enjoying himself, checking out the festival and suddenly there's a guy in his window with a gun. The guy demands his money. Dave slowly reaches toward the floor with the shirt containing his fares for the day.
"Hey! What do you think you're doin?! Just give me your f$@$ing money!", shouts his assailant, thinking he's reaching under the seat for his own gun. So Dave returns his hands to the wheel. The guy demands the money again. Dave reaches toward the floor again for the money. The guy threatens him, Dave returns his hands to the wheel. Back and forth for a seemingly agonizing eternity in broad daylight with hundreds of people around. Finally, someone notices what's happening. A guy comes over and shoves the mugger away from the cab and says, "Hey! That cabbie's a friend of mine!" The mugger runs off. The guy that saved Dave's bacon leans in and asks if he's okay. Dave hits the gas purely on impulse and drives the heck out of there.
He's also had his bike stolen right under the Brooklyn Bridge on the Brooklyn side. Literally six guys walked out of the darkness under the bridge, right when you get off, surrounded him and silently grabbed his bike, walked off.
Wait...I'm trying to convince you to STAY in New York. Crap.
All my best wishes to you and your wife, Nick. I hope that everything works out.
*hugs*
Love to you and the wife, Nick, glad to hear she's okay.
Glad to hear that your lady is ok after that.
Maine is always a nice place to live if you're looking for a new place to settle down. Portland even has something of an active night life and culture :-)
That sucks, man. Sorry to hear that you're moving, but glad your love's okay.
If we're offering suggestions for places to move, let's talk Detroit! For a mere $3000 to $7000, you too can own you very own home. Yes, you've experienced crime, but have you experienced it in the, "Welcome to Detriot, bish!" style? With all the money you save, you can buy riot gear and ballistic weapons. The best part is, when you fire back at the hoodlums, no one cares!
Thanks everybody for the awesome support! My wife is doing fine, just a little bummed as we've had nothing but dim luck since we moved out here. I really appreciate everyone taking the time to post good thougths, wild and crazy anecdotes and the like. Another reason the Paizo community is so incredible. You all make it that way everyday. Thanks all. Taurie and I are doing just fine now. We hope the two guys got caught on camera, so we'll see, maybe at least they will get caught before they do this to someone else.
Me, I'm just happy Taurie's okay.
Nick
Hey Nick, I could kick my new room mate out and you could move in with me! ~grins~ Unfortunatly, any time you get more than 100 people living within a certain area, you get crime. Good luck and I am glad that your love is ok.
Thanks everybody for the awesome support! My wife is doing fine, just a little bummed as we've had nothing but dim luck since we moved out here. I really appreciate everyone taking the time to post good thougths, wild and crazy anecdotes and the like. Another reason the Paizo community is so incredible. You all make it that way everyday. Thanks all. Taurie and I are doing just fine now. We hope the two guys got caught on camera, so we'll see, maybe at least they will get caught before they do this to someone else.
Me, I'm just happy Taurie's okay.
Nick
Tough break mate. New York is a tough city to move to. It only gets better, though. Just remember all the stories you'll have about "When I first moved to New York..."
El Skootro
You should totally move out here now. I live in low-crime Bothell. We could be neighbors. ;)
You live in a low-crime brothel? How cool is that!
