
The Jade |

Anyone ever see "Mom and Dad Save the World"? Jon Lovitz it absolutely hysterical as Todd Spango, planetary dictator of Planet Spango who falls in love with Teri Garr and abducts her and her whole family over to his planet by snagging their station wagon with a tractor beam. Jeffrey Jones does his best to fend off his advances.
Actually a friend of mine was in that film. Bergen Williams. She's hawaiian and played one of the amazonian guards.

The Jade |

(lol) just caught the end of "The People that Time Forgot" on t.v. this a.m...
That was the sequel to The Land that Time Forgot. I saw it recently as well. Despite the cheese factor, I remember how I felt when I first saw them. I was lit up like a candle. Good times.
There was some sort of Journey to the Center of the Earth type film that seemed to use the same style. Two scientists pack into a big engine car with a drill on the front that bores them down to the Earth's core, where there's a world of "human slaves and bird masters who ritualistically murder them."

The Jade |

What about 'The Sword and the Sorcerer'? That movie was so cool! I saw it when I was a kid, just learning D&D and got into a fight with my brother (who was DM) why I couldn't have that kick-ass three bladed sword that shot the blades out. Hmmm... another fantasy movie that totally caused me problems at the gaming table was Krull. My brother asked me what weapon I wanted my fighter to use, and I wanted to use the Glaive, "see it only costs like 10 gold, and does 1d12 damage, but how come it doesn't give any range for it?"
I also saw that movie at the theater. The star of Sword and the Sorceror was Lee Horsely, who also starred as Matt Houston on the TV show of the same name. The big sorceror monster was Richard Moll, the silly baliff on the TV show Night Court. It's interesting to see the difference between personas.
Krull did absolutely nothing for me.
Excalibur shouldn't even be on this list. That movie knocked for a loop in the theaters as a kid the two or three times I saw it and I'm still loopy. But then I didn't have to tell you that.

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Heathansson wrote:(lol) just caught the end of "The People that Time Forgot" on t.v. this a.m...That was the sequel to The Land that Time Forgot. I saw it recently as well. Despite the cheese factor, I remember how I felt when I first saw them. I was lit up like a candle. Good times.
There was some sort of Journey to the Center of the Earth type film that seemed to use the same style. Two scientists pack into a big engine car with a drill on the front that bores them down to the Earth's core, where there's a world of "human slaves and bird masters who ritualistically murder them."
Yup... the "mahars" were psionic pterosaurs that ate people. They were served by the apelike "sagoths" in Pellucidar, the land at the center of the world.
The mahars couldn't hypnotize Tarzan, though; he's pretty tough.
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I might be crazy but I remember an old flick I saw some saturday afternoon in the 80's where some odd group of treasure hunters had to break into some super secure temple or building for some gem or crystal or something... all I really remember is the extreme booby traps and them harnessed to the ceiling to cross a room or something?
Vague description yes.
--Having a mental Vrock

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My favorite 80s sci-fi/fantasy movies all have colons in the title.
I'm thinking, of course, of the 3D Molly Ringwald vehicle SPACE HUNTER: ADVENTURES IN THE FORBIDDEN ZONE.
http://imdb.com/title/tt0086346/
And, of course, the grand-daddy of them all, METALSTORM: THE DESTRUCTION OF JARED-SYN.
http://imdb.com/title/tt0085935/
Which, you know, was also in 3D now that I think about it...

The Jade |

My favorite 80s sci-fi/fantasy movies all have colons in the title.
I'm thinking, of course, of the 3D Molly Ringwald vehicle SPACE HUNTER: ADVENTURES IN THE FORBIDDEN ZONE.
http://imdb.com/title/tt0086346/
And, of course, the grand-daddy of them all, METALSTORM: THE DESTRUCTION OF JARED-SYN.
http://imdb.com/title/tt0085935/
Which, you know, was also in 3D now that I think about it...
THAT'S the one I couldn't remember! Molly Ringwald. That was killing me.
I mentioned Metalstorm above. We've almost got all the bases covered.
Although not really apocolyptic (and though I mentioned Deathsport--Me: "I knew deathrace 2000... and you sir, are no Deathrace 2000") let's hear it for David Carradine's career. The Warrior and the Sorceress was just yet another version of Yojimbo, and there was a punch sound effect that was like a full second too late... But oh, it was a thing of schlocky beauty. (including a bad latex attempt at a four boobed exotic dancer)
Rutger Hauer too! The Blood of Heroes was fun. Flesh and Blood. Ladyhawke. All good.

d13 |
The big sorceror monster was Richard Moll, the silly baliff on the TV show Night Court. It's interesting to see the difference between personas.
Richard Moll was also the villan in The Dungeonmaster! I never realized that he was such a "go-to" fantasy bad guy. And that's no bull.
We need to get him and Ron Perlman in the same movie. Or a TV sitcom. O Ye Gods, who wouldn't watch that?
And thanks The Jade, for providing the Italian title to Yor: The Hunter from the Future. I had forgotten that it was dubbed over in english. That makes it even more craptacular.

The Jade |

And thanks The Jade, for providing the Italian title to Yor: The Hunter from the Future. I had forgotten that it was dubbed over in english. That makes it even more craptacular.
It's hard to imagine another element that could add to its craptasticability.
Perlman's all A-list now. You won't see him in any fun genre stuff that doesn't have 20 souped powermacs pumping out CGI mastery all around him.
It seems the films we're talking about don't really get made anymore. I wonder why? Has the market fallen out from under creative post apocolyptic takes? Lose some of the glam rock elements and you could still do one up right. Although I appreciated many of these clunkers as a kid, if I were to make one, character and story might actually play a vital element in the movie. Imagine.

d13 |
And, of course, the grand-daddy of them all, METALSTORM: THE DESTRUCTION OF JARED-SYN.
http://imdb.com/title/tt0085935/
Which, you know, was also in 3D now that I think about it...
I have never seen this movie, but I just checked out the IMDB listing.
Guess who is in this movie?RICHARD MOLL!
The hardest working man in Craptastic 80's fantasy.
I see that movie also stars Tim Thomerson, so it now becomes appropriate to mention Trancers on this thread. Sweet, sweet Jack Deth.

The Jade |

That's right, Squid. Trancers rocked.
Anybody remember a TV show in the early 80's, Wizards and Warriors in which Jeff Conaway from Taxi played Prince Erik Greystone? Only a few episodes before cancellation. Randi Brooks played a sorcerous witch on the show. You might remember her as the "I don't mind" hooker from Man with Two Brains... and... well aside from that she just kept getting rape murdered in cop movies. Tough break.

drunken_nomad |

There's also Trick or Treat
Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors also has a tie-in to DnD (and Larry Fishburne!) though its not so cult-y.
Warlock is another one that all DnD-ers should watch.
Actually, Julian Sands was in a lot of cool cult movies "Vibes" (with Cyndi Lauper) and "Gothic" and "The Doctor and the Devils" which were all kinda creepy.
GYMKATA!Genius!
Return to Horror High where you got a xeroxed 'diploma' if you survived the screening. YAY! Still have it around here somewhere. Marsha marsha marsha from the Brady bunch shows a LOT of cleavage as sloppily eats a chili dog over the corpses of dead high schoolers...COOL! George Clooney (before he became Sir "George Clooney") was in a buncha good ones too..."Return of the Killer Tomatoes" anyone? Got that on VHS!
A couple that really scared me way back when were
The Silent Scream
and
Galaxy of Terror Lil Joanie cant love Chachi anymore....shes dead! And so is Mr Hand. And apparently Alice the waitress's drop out kid Tommy.

The Jade |

Remember the one where (I think) Jon Savage was a young warrior, and David Carradine played all these different characters on his avant garde visionquest type adventure?
So glad you mentioned it. I was going to mention it but forgot. It was written as The Silent Flute, and also released under the name Circle of Iron. I was religious about this film.
Bruce Lee wrote it with some help from his student, actor James Coburn. He was going to star in it but died. It was then taken to famous, almost god-like, screenplay writer Stirling Silliphant (and Stanley Mann who wrote the Conan the Destoyer screenplay), who finished it. Sadly, just as he lost the role he created for Kung-Fu to David Carradine... Carradine also wound up taking this role from him as well.
I have this movie on DVD and the first things I ever learned to play on wooden flute wre this movie's theme along with the Kung-Fu theme.

The Jade |

Okay...I have my mission now....find and watch Circle of Iron.
I think I remember there was an old guy sitting in a vat of oil until his doodads dissolved. Thankful for modern medicine/vasectomies now.
Send me your home addy and watch your mail, my friend.
The actor you mention was Eli Wallach. One of the greats.

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The Warrior and the Sorceress was just yet another version of Yojimbo, and there was a punch sound effect that was like a full second too late... But oh, it was a thing of schlocky beauty. (including a bad latex attempt at a four boobed exotic dancer)
I just rented this two weeks ago. It was shocking, all right, in that it was shockingly boring and a plodding piece of crap. I thought it was great that every single woman in the movie was shown topless before the end of the thing. Luckily, my girlfriend fell asleep before the dance of the four-boobed harlot.
It occurs to me now that I just made the movie sound awesome. I assure you, it is not.

The Jade |

The Jade wrote:The Warrior and the Sorceress was just yet another version of Yojimbo, and there was a punch sound effect that was like a full second too late... But oh, it was a thing of schlocky beauty. (including a bad latex attempt at a four boobed exotic dancer)
I just rented this two weeks ago. It was shocking, all right, in that it was shockingly boring and a plodding piece of crap. I thought it was great that every single woman in the movie was shown topless before the end of the thing. Luckily, my girlfriend fell asleep before the dance of the four-boobed harlot.
It occurs to me now that I just made the movie sound awesome. I assure you, it is not.
Not shocking beauty. Schlocky beauty. I know you know what schlock is, but for those who haven't had the pleasure of a definition:
schlock also shlockn. Something, such as merchandise or literature, that is inferior or shoddy.
adj. Of inferior quality; cheap or shoddy.
I meant to suggest that if there was a positive to be found with this flick, it is how astoundingly bad it is. I did not mean to suggest a ringing endorsement. There's something about astoundingly awful films that makes them more watchable then your average awful film. You just can't take your eyes off the catastrophe of it.
I can't believe you FOUND this film for rent. I saw it on cable back in the 80's and never heard of it again.

The Jade |

Remember the one where (I think) Jon Savage was a young warrior, and David Carradine played all these different characters on his avant garde visionquest type adventure?
BTW, It was Jeff Cooper who played Cord, the young warrior. He did some westerns before that, and afterward made appearances on the Fall Guy and The Powers of Matthew Star. Remember that one season show, with Peter Barton? People thought I was his younger brother.

Garjen Soulhammer |

OK. I remembered an offering from my past--always saw it on the Saturday afternoon "Thriller Theater" here local-like--but I don't know a title. Probably from the late 60s/early 70s rather than the 80s.
All I can remember is a sailing vessel trapped in the "Sargasso Sea"--with beds of seaweed, etc. and some form of seaweed monsters--zombies maybe?-- I just remember a scene with boat after boat after boat, all trapped, all deserted.
Haven't thought about it for years, but for some reason these past several posts brought it back to mind.

d13 |
OK. I remembered an offering from my past--always saw it on the Saturday afternoon "Thriller Theater" here local-like--but I don't know a title. Probably from the late 60s/early 70s rather than the 80s.
All I can remember is a sailing vessel trapped in the "Sargasso Sea"--with beds of seaweed, etc. and some form of seaweed monsters--zombies maybe?-- I just remember a scene with boat after boat after boat, all trapped, all deserted.
Haven't thought about it for years, but for some reason these past several posts brought it back to mind.
This is the same story as one of the Savage Tide adventures. Did the author take his idea from an old movie? If so, I gotta see it because I loved that particular story!

The Jade |

Probably from the late 60s/early 70s rather than the 80s.
All I can remember is a sailing vessel trapped in the "Sargasso Sea"--with beds of seaweed, etc. and some form of seaweed monsters--zombies maybe?-- I just remember a scene with boat after boat after boat, all trapped, all deserted.
Haven't thought about it for years, but for some reason these past several posts brought it back to mind.
Couldn't find it. Found this sargasso-related oldie though The Monster That Challenged the World
Heath, I grew up with Night Stalker as well. Good times...

drunken_nomad |

I wanna see some of those old Night Gallery shows again.
Dunno about those Night Gallery's, I only saw a couple of those and a couple "Outer Limits" and then saw them again about 5 years ago and didnt get the same 'bang' from them.
But, the Boris Karloff "Thriller" shows and the "Tales from the Darkside","Amazing Stories", and "Darkroom" all had great scary stories.
You ever see the Tales from Darkside with the girl renting the room with the little demonic lemur thing living in the closet?
Or the Darkroom that turned Stephen King's 'Battleground' short into a teleplay?

The Jade |

Own it. Love it.
I was not introduced to Kolchak until I got with my hubby, then he demanded that I watch it. I'm a fan. :D
*starts whistling the tune to Night Stalker*
Am I freak fan for knowing the Gil Melle did the soundtrack without looking? I even own it on CD. He did the 6 Million Dollar Man theme, as well.
My mother was a fan when I was six or seven and I was instantly hooked.

Jim Johnsen |

Here's one that has been driving me nuts, and it's super vague to boot. All I can remember is that theres a creature killing people. One of the people has a disease, and so they make spears with his blood in needles on the ends to kill the creature. The spears don't work so well, so the hero shoves the diseased guy into the creature. Having written that out, jeeze thats vague.
Anyway, I haven't thought about these movies in years, and you guys have pulled out some real classics. I remember the Eliminators was like my favorite movie when I was a kid. I saw it at Blockbuster some years ago and forced my friends to watch it with me. Ouch, that movie did not age well at all...

BluePigeon |

Earthbeard wrote:One is a Slug like alien that possesses humans, and drives them to Kill, take drugs and do all kinds dangerous things. This hyper-manicness takes a heavy toll upon the "hosts" and there bodies, damaged and quite frequently shot up, can no longer suit the aliens purpose. So they seek to leave and capture a fresh "host".Scientology?
HaHa! LOL! some more.

The-Last-Rogue |

Heathansson wrote:I understand you been runnin' from the man who goes by the name of the sand man. He rides the skies like an eagle in the eye of a hurricane that's abandoned.The Jade wrote:Better run, Runner. A Sandman's after you.I've shook'em for 8 years...;)
God Bless AMERICA.

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The Jade wrote:I don't know that ANY movie could be worse than Laser Blast. Crikey.
Galaxina and Laser Blast weren't so hot either.
I remember when MST3K did Laserblast they cited that Leonard Maltin had given it 2 1/2 stars and then proceeded to flip thru his movie book finding other movies with 2 1/2 stars.
"'Raiders of the Lost Arc'. No better than 'Laserblast'."

waltero |

Man, I remember going to see many of these movies with my brother and sister at the last remaining drive-in in town. We would load up my sisters car with food, blankets, and mosquito repellent and catch a double or triple feature. Laserblast! What a stinker! Now, Food of the Gods, that was cool.