Headless Thompson Gunner, came to a bar
(had to look that one up...)
in the Gray Wastes to share a
Pina Colada, a prominent yugoloth specialty. Also,
Roland really lost his head when he
was sent lawyers, guns, and money UPS.
Meanwhile back on planet Blogishtony, the knight
of Nih, named Nestor Nebraska noticed nothing
out of the ordinary, except for the
monstrously disgusting pile of oozing and bubbling
suet some referred to as Ms. Rosie
and by others; The Great and Terrible
Pooh-bah of Awesomely Imperial Majesty. This grandiose
and blubbery title greatly fits the Emperor
of the Blogishtonian Transdimentional Merchant League, as
every small, tentacled child of that eldritch
entity is, without exception, both blubbery and
deaply in love with sharoth, after all
even though he is a tinfoil half-dragon
blubbery creatures find him cute and harmless.
In much the same fashion, some worship
banjo, why I do not know; for
he lacks the charm and good looks
unlike a werewolf who has both. Celestial
paused for a moment, contemplating lycanthropy, but
realized he just wasn't cool enough to
comprehend the ramifications of his utterly deplorable
and dispicable, as well as whimsically inerudite
canine buddy affectionately called "Heathy Poopy Pants"
but never to his face; he's too
polite for anything like that. In the
ancient times, when men feared what was
known as the "full-moon syndrome" - a condition
that, in due time, caused men to
cower in fear from lycanthropes in heat.
Wereboars in musth, weretigers in estrus,....fearful
as sheep in Scotland, the power of
the dark side will consume all it
overcomes in a fury of furry tribbles
like Bill Shatner opened his toupee closet
and unleashed the horror within on us
in a horrific display of displaced anger
, denial and dementia. As the headtribbles coiled
around the bald pate of the Shat,
he said, in a stilted, melodramatic fashion,
"what....are you doing....to...my hip?"
And in answer to the Shat's question
the tribbles piped in falsetto ululating unison, "
that 70's dance craze called the Bump
will break your hip, shake your rump,
and then.... KILL YOU!!!! Bwahahahaha!" Stunned, Shat
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