Ye can't touch my booty!
*proceeds to give Fakey his second whippin*
All better now? :D
And to those that think Talk Like A Pirate Day is stupid, I tell you to read this comic. ;)
Yarr.
My closing statement for this round of TLAPD:
Pirate Wenches Have Great Booty.
Aaarrr.
It be great to be this side of the dateline.
Prepare for the day ye scurvy yankee dogs, it comes again!
To err is human...to ARR is pirate!
Ahoy!
tis funny how'n this here thread be resurrected 'vrey yer n'er this here time.
Aye, but we be waitin nearer a year for it.
Arrr.
Gaharr...
Aaaarrrgggg! I say again...aaarrrrgggg!
Haarrrrrr, ye scalliwags! I think fer lunch, I'll be havin' me some Aaaaarrrrrrrby's!
Me hearties, once again it be that time o' year when our tongues wag for a bit o' grog. But there be a new homeland to set sail to, for the sea-lovin' dogs at this 'ere port have given us a place to call our very own - The Shackles. That's right, those skeered curs that try to chase us down for our love of a wee bit o' gold have the Eye to deal with, and the depths of the seas hold more than just ol' Davey.
To the Shackles, lads, and let no powdered Taldor sissy courtmongerer stop us!
To the Shackles, and let the Map of Go'Og'Le guide us there!
Ahoy!
*Boards the ship carrying as much run as possible*
Aye, tharrr goes a frog that loves 'is grog
Avast me hardys yo ho!
Arr.. tis a fine day.
Blow the man down! Variations
As I was out walkin' down Paradise street,
To me way, hey, blow the man down!
A pretty young damsel I chanced for to meet,
Give me some time to blow the man down!
She was round in the counter and bluff in the bow...
So I took in all sail and cried "way enough now"...
I hailed her in English, she answered me clear...
"I'm from the Black Arrow bound to the Shakespeare"...
So I tailed her my flipper and took her in tow...
And yard-arm to yard-arm, away we did go...
But as we were a-going she said unto me...
"There's a spankin' full rigger just ready for sea"...
That spankin' full rigger to New York was bound...
She was very well mannered and very well found...
But as soon as that packet was clear of the bar...
The mate knocked me down with the end of a spar...
As soon as that packet was out on the sea...
'Twas devilish hard treatment of every degree...
So I give you fair warning before we belay...
Don't never take heed of what pretty girls say...
As I was a-walkin’ down Paradise Street,
Way, hey, blow the man down
A pretty young damsel I chanced for to meet
Give me some time to blow the man down
She was round in the corner and bluff in the bow…
So I took in all sail and cried “Way enough now”…
I threw out my hawser and took her in tow
And yardarm to yardarm away did we go
She said unto me “Sir, will you stand the treat?”
“Delighted,” says I, “for a charmer so sweet”
It was up in her quarters she piped me aboard
And there on her bed I cut loose with my sword
But just as my cutter was forging ahead
She shouted “My husband!” and jumped out of bed
He was seven feet tall, had a chest like a horse
And right for my jawbone he plotted his course
He loosened my rigging, he kicked me in stays
I flew down the stairs like a ship on the way
I chanced on a packet that happened on by
And when I awoke I was bound for Shanghai
So I’ll give you fair warning before we belay
Don’t ever take heed of what pretty girls say
Oh! Blow th' man down, bullies. Blow th' man down.
W-ay! Hey? Blow th' man down!
Oh! Blow th' man down bullies. Blow 'im right down.
Give us th' time an' we'll blow th' man down!
Come all ye young fellers that follows th' sea.
W-ay! Hey? Blow th' man down!
I'll sing ye a song if ye'll listen t' me.
Give us th' time an' we'll blow th' man down!
'Twas in a Black Baller I first served my time.
W-ay! Hey? Blow th' man down!
And in a Black Baller I wasted my prime.
Give us th' time an' we'll blow th' man down!
'Tis when a Black Baller's preparin' for sea.
W-ay! Hey? Blow th' man down!
Th'sights in th' fo' cas'le is funny t' see.
Give us th' time an' we'll blow th' man down!
Wi' sodgers an' tailors an' Dutchmen an' all.
W-ay! Hey? Blow th' man down!
As ships for prime seamen aboard th' Black Ball.
Give us th' time an' we'll blow th' man down!
But when th' Black Baller gets clear o' th' land.
W-ay! Hey? Blow th' man down!
It's then as ye'll hear th' sharp word o' command.
Give us th' time an' we'll blow th' man down!
Oh! It's muster ye sodgers an' tailors an' sich.
W-ay! Hey? Blow th' man down!
An' hear ye're name called by a son of a b%&$*.
Give us th' time an' we'll blow th' man down!
It's "fore-topsail halyards", th' Mate he will roar.
W-ay! Hey? Blow th' man down!
Oh, lay along smartly, you son of a whore.
Give us th' time an' we'll blow th' man down!
Oh, lay along smartly each lousy recroot.
W-ay! Hey? Blow th' man down!
Or it's lifted ye'll be wi' th' toe of a boot.
Give us th' time an' we'll blow th' man down!
'Twas on a Black-Baller I first served my time,
To me yeo, ho! blow the man down!
And on that Black-Baller I wasted my prime,
Oh, give me some time to blow the man down!
'Tis when a Black-Baller's preparing for sea,
To me yeo, ho! blow the man down!
You'd split your sides laughing at the sights you would see,
Oh, give me some time to blow the man down!
With the tinkers and tailors and soldiers and all,
To me yeo, ho! blow the man down!
That ship for prime seamen on aboard a Black Ball,
Oh, give me some time to blow the man down!
'Tis when a Black-Baller is clear of the land,
To me yeo, ho! blow the man down!
Our boatswain then gives us the word of command,
Oh, give me some time to blow the man down!
"Lay aft," is the cry, "to the break of the poop!"
To me yeo, ho! blow the man down!
"Or I'll help you along with the toe of my boot."
Oh, give me some time to blow the man down!
'Tis larboard and starboard on the deck you will sprawl,
To me yeo, ho! blow the man down!
For "Kicking Jack Williams" commands that Black Ball.
Oh, give me some time to blow the man down!
'Tis when a Black-Baller comes back to her dock,
To me yeo, ho! blow the man down!
The lasses and lads to the pierhead do flock,
Oh, give me some time to blow the man down!
Come all you young fellows who follow the sea,
To me way, hay, blow the man down,
Now, please pay attention and listen to me,
Give me some time to blow the man down!
I'm a deep-water sailor just come from Hong Kong.
To me way, hay, blow the man down,
If you give me some whiskey I'll sing you a song.
Give me some time to blow the man down!
On a trim Black Ball liner I first served my time.
On a trim Black Ball liner I wasted my prime.
When a trim Black Ball liner's preparing for sea,
You'd split your sides laughin', such sights you would see.
There's tinkers and tailors, shoemakers and all,
They're all shipped for sailors on board the Black Ball.
When a big Black Ball liner's a-leaving her dock,
The boys and the girls on the pierhead do flock.
Now, when the big liner is clear of the land,
Our bosun he roars out the word of command.
"Come, quickly lay aft to the break of the poop,
Or I'll help you along with the toe of my boot!"
"Pay attention to orders, now you one and all,
For see, right above you there flies the Black Ball!
"`This larboard and starboard on deck you will sprawl,
For `Kicking Jack' Rogers commands the Black Ball!"
Bonjour, je suis un bucaneer!
Le arrrr!
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Arr, heres a pirate shanty ta sing for all the true pirates ta sing.
Get off my ass you wee bitty f@*!
If I pull out the Claymore you're s!~! outta luck
Who's that girl, that pretty young thing
After I f#%# her she'll get up and sing
Aye Aye Aye -- sharpen your boot, and bludgeon your eye
Aye Aye Aye -- the Blarney Stone brings a tear to me eye
Down to the pub for a two shilling ale
The bread on the counter is going stale
If I don't get some fresh bread soon
Gonna punch you in your face and bark at the moon
Aye Aye Aye -- sharpen your boot, and bludgeon your eye
Aye Aye Aye -- the Blarney Stone brings a tear to me eye
Ain't got no girl 'cuz I haven't the time
Got too many other things on me mind
Patty was nice she was pale and cute
But I threw her away like an old piece of fruit
Aye Aye Aye -- sharpen your boot, and bludgeon your eye
Aye Aye Aye -- the Blarney Stone brings a tear to me eye
Got ooze in my pores my feet are all wet
Got mold in my ears but I ain't dead yet
Got stones in me bladder got a crack in me head
When Patty starts cryin' this is what I said
Aye Aye Aye -- sharpen your boot, and bludgeon your eye
Aye Aye Aye -- the Blarney Stone brings a tear to me eye
"by Ween"
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Yo ho lads and lasses lets find us some wenches, some grog and good food, we arrived in port filled with plunder and there be no sense buryin it on some deserted rock when pirate ports are filled with distractions. So drink up and enjoy this day. Yo Ho!!
And Lilith Be ready on the cat o nine tails to give these scallawags their due punishment (or pleasure as they may see it) ;-)
Check out the lyrics from the Sex Pistols song "Friggen in the Riggen" for some offensive pirate limericks.
The Tossers and Captain Tractor do slammin' covers of that one, too.
Ha ha, you suckers! TLAPD is over!
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pI rATS HAVE BUT ONE DAY
(g)Ninja's have an entire Month
Cool one month off, I gonna start ironing my jammies now.
*Lights cannon*
Pirate Day is over, fools! Prepare to have your ship destroyed!!!
So when is talk like a ninja day?
I could give you an answer if they were not so darn divided! ninja
*Lights cannon*
Pirate Day is over, fools! Prepare to have your ship destroyed!!!
Kill the Piwates!
BOOM
BOOM
Are they dead yet?
Yaarrrr, it be most unfortunate that Talk like a Pirate Day be on a Sunday.
Yaarrrr, it be most unfortunate that Talk like a Pirate Day be on a Sunday.
Nay, me hardy. 'Tis the day of rest, on some landlubber shores. A fine day to hoist a mug o' grog and count your booty, mateys! Where'ere there be treasure to plunder and seas to sail, a pirate's fate rests with an island's maidens or the hangman's noose.
Drink up, mateys, while ye've time, for the sea is a fickle wench, and drowns many a man sure, a-bubblin' away in the briny deep, whate'ere side of the law he be.