Talk Like a Pirate Day


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Talk Like a Pirate Day falls on a weekend this year (Sunday, September 19). What day should it be observed in the workplace?

Yar!
Pirate Jenny


You're unsure? Let me spell it out for you then...

F... ARRRR... I... D... A... Y!!!


Arrgh! Glad I be, matey, that Talk Like a Pirate Day be so well known! Avast!

Dark Archive Contributor

Big Jake wrote:
F... ARRRR... I... D... A... Y!!!

ARRR!!! Alas, bu' Friday be a bad day fer us ta be talkin' li' pirates a' work here at P-AYE-zo. :\


Arrrh! Me days far asea 'ave rot me brain to no good! T'was nearly past noon when I noticed the date! Tis not too late fer the rest of ye beggars and blighters and ne'er do-well cads... drink up me hearties, yo ho!


Punchline to a joke:

The pirate says, "Arrrr!!! It's drivin' me nuts!"


Mateys, these 'ere landlubbers need to know the fine holiday that is "Talk Like a Pirate Day" - since these lubbers can't seem to swash their buckles and don't know a yardarm from their mizzenmast, it be seemin' to me that we hold their booty captive, seein' as how most of these lubbers be getting their gold on a Fridee.

So, for ransom, we be holdin' their gold 'til they can swash their buckles with the rest of us! Aye?!?!

(Translation: If they don't Talk Like a Pirate, hold their paycheck hostage. :-D Arr....)

Oh, 'nother pirate joke:

What's a pirate's favorite socks?

ARRRRR-gyle!


I knew there was a reason I liked you, Lilith. =)


Gwydion wrote:
I knew there was a reason I liked you, Lilith. =)

I play a pirate in the SCA. I've got plenty more pirate jokes. :P

'Nother joke, not piratey, but funny anyways:

Where does a captain keep his armies?
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(wait for it).
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Up his sleevies! Arrrrrr!

Dark Archive

So a pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel hanging out of his pants...


Aaaarrrr!!

Aye maytees! Aaarrrrrr we havin’ fun on deez ol messadge boards or what? Aaaarrrr! Well, blow me down and shiver me timbers! Aaaaaaarrrrrrrrr! You’d betterbe havin’ fun or I’ll make ya swab da deck!! I’ll even make ya walk the plank! Aaarraaarrrraarrrr!!! Aaaarrrrrr! Aarr!

Gotta joke forrya:

What’s a pirate’s favourite letter?

It’s AAAAAAARRRRRRRR!!!

Ultrrrrradan

The Exchange

Aaarrrr, shiver me timbers, ya scurvy sea-dogs! Stand to or we be keel-haulin' the lot o' you! Where be pirates likin' to shop fo da wee laddies?
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Toys-AARRRRR-Us.
HHHAaaarrr har. Take that you briny barnicle brains!
where be me bottle o' rum?


Aaarrr, jus dont ye be makin it da poop Deck der Ultradan! Aarrrr. Else I be makin it hard ta port and of da side to mak for shor! aaarrr!

(this type of talk works well with little children too when teaching swimming!) Now! Where be me ale and Rum! Arrr, all I's got is Bijo! (Damn Strong Chinese Liqour)

Liberty's Edge

Arrr!!!


Who be keel-haulin' ye scurvy gnomes, an' be turnin' the demon lassies te devils? Has-brrrrr-o! Well, ye toy-makin' scallawags, ye'd best be puttin' a stop to it. Fairly warned be thee, sez I!


"Bye 'oby dicks white thail tey bees thar wizoats of thee Coatz..Arg!dem sonsofwhorish mermemaids"


Talk Like a Ninja day would be interesting and spectacularly boring at the same time. Everyone would just slide silently in the shadows, never saying anything...


magdalena thiriet wrote:
Talk Like a Ninja day would be interesting and spectacularly boring at the same time. Everyone would just slide silently in the shadows, never saying anything...

You give 'ninjas' to much credit for self control.

~Ninja talk~

"Man I am so cool and tough I could kill you with one blow of my hand"

"No way I could disable you with my right index finger without you ever noticing"

"Pah! I am so great you guys just couldn't comprehend, and I ooze coolness"

"HI-YAH!"

Scarab Sages

Jenny Scott wrote:
Talk Like a Pirate Day falls on a weekend this year (Sunday, September 19).

Maybe its just me, but isn't today 19 September? And isn't it also Wednesday? I'm confused.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Aberzombie wrote:
Jenny Scott wrote:
Talk Like a Pirate Day falls on a weekend this year (Sunday, September 19).
Maybe its just me, but isn't today 19 September? And isn't it also Wednesday? I'm confused.

Arr, that be because, bein' a refugee from Davy Jones's locker, ye have no concept o' the passin' o' time.


Avast there. "HI-YAH!" be undoing all said ninja's coolness.


Arr!

Liberty's Edge

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.
We pillage, we plunder, we rifle, and loot,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
We kidnap and ravage and don't give a hoot,
Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.


hm; isnt today Sept 19th? it be Wed on my calendar; what year you be lookin at scruvy one; here be at yea an orange ta chase out dem evil spirits...

yo ho ho and a bottle of rum.

Scarab Sages

Aberzombie wrote:
Jenny Scott wrote:
Talk Like a Pirate Day falls on a weekend this year (Sunday, September 19).
Maybe its just me, but isn't today 19 September? And isn't it also Wednesday? I'm confused.
Valegrim wrote:
hm; isnt today Sept 19th? it be Wed on my calendar; what year you be lookin at scruvy one

The thread was started in 2004.

EDIT: ARRRR!

The Exchange

What be ye gettin' whence ye cross a pirate wit a pedophile?
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Arrrrr-Kelly!

Yo-ho!


So this pirate Captain stumps into a bar on his peg leg. He sidles up to the bar and orders the biggest glass of rotgut they have. The bartender, though having seen it all, can't help but stare at the giant ship's wheel protruding from the front of the captain's pants. He serves up the alcholol, and not being able to hold his tongue any longer, he says, "Captain, do you know you have a ship's wheel sticking out of your pants?"

The Captain takes a long swig, sets down his glass, looks the bartender in the eye and says, "Arrrrr, I do, and it be driving me nuts!"


ARG!!! Yous Saltydogz

Scarab Sages

Ungoded wrote:
Aberzombie wrote:
Jenny Scott wrote:
Talk Like a Pirate Day falls on a weekend this year (Sunday, September 19).
Maybe its just me, but isn't today 19 September? And isn't it also Wednesday? I'm confused.
Valegrim wrote:
hm; isnt today Sept 19th? it be Wed on my calendar; what year you be lookin at scruvy one

The thread was started in 2004.

EDIT: ARRRR!

Arrr, that explains tha matter then. To much rum last night. Shiver me timbers!


Yarr! Ya lubbers are givin' a bad name to the scourge of the seas! Polish yer buckles for an appropriate swashing! Or I be tyin' ya to the mainmast and givin' ye a good whippin' with the cat o' nine! (If ya like yer whippins, please leave yer dubloons in that chest right there...no, not that one, the wooden one right there...that's right... ;) )

Scarab Sages

"Ahoy there, me shivering matey, heave-ho!" [url=smurf][/url]

Minor quote from Black Adder

Liberty's Edge

Lilith wrote:
Yarr! Ya lubbers are givin' a bad name to the scourge of the seas! Polish yer buckles for an appropriate swashing! Or I be tyin' ya to the mainmast and givin' ye a good whippin' with the cat o' nine! (If ya like yer whippins, please leave yer dubloons in that chest right there...no, not that one, the wooden one right there...that's right... ;) )

Avast, methinks a lady onboar' de vessel be invitin' curses and hexes from da briny deep, alas tho' ye be dollin' out de whippin's I'll be 'appy to put me pantaloons in whate're chest yer wishin'

Thank ye mistress, may i have an-arrrrr-ther

The Exchange

Dragonmann wrote:
Lilith wrote:
Yarr! Ya lubbers are givin' a bad name to the scourge of the seas! Polish yer buckles for an appropriate swashing! Or I be tyin' ya to the mainmast and givin' ye a good whippin' with the cat o' nine! (If ya like yer whippins, please leave yer dubloons in that chest right there...no, not that one, the wooden one right there...that's right... ;) )

Avast, methinks a lady onboar' de vessel be invitin' curses and hexes from da briny deep, alas tho' ye be dollin' out de whippin's I'll be 'appy to put me pantaloons in whate're chest yer wishin'

Thank ye mistress, may i have an-arrrrr-ther

Arrr! A skirt on da' deck! Tis a pox on us all!

*quietly places enough dubloons in the chest for 2 whippings*
:>
FH

Paizo Employee Digital Pest

(Yar.)


Aaaaaaargh! This thread be from 2004. It confused me for a second, fer me an me friends celebrated this glorious holiday today at school.

Twas spirit week thar and Western Day, so everyone was dressed as cow-lads n' cow-wenches, but me-I wore an eye-patch and talked like a pirate.

Happy Talk Like a Pirate Day to all.

The Exchange

Blow the man down!

As I was out walkin' down Paradise street,
To me way, hey, blow the man down!
A pretty young damsel I chanced for to meet,
Give me some time to blow the man down!
She was round in the counter and bluff in the bow...
So I took in all sail and cried "way enough now"...

I hailed her in English, she answered me clear...
"I'm from the Black Arrow bound to the Shakespeare"...

So I tailed her my flipper and took her in tow...
And yard-arm to yard-arm, away we did go...

But as we were a-going she said unto me...
"There's a spankin' full rigger just ready for sea"...

That spankin' full rigger to New York was bound...
She was very well mannered and very well found...

But as soon as that packet was clear of the bar...
The mate knocked me down with the end of a spar...

As soon as that packet was out on the sea...
'Twas devilish hard treatment of every degree...

So I give you fair warning before we belay [sic]...
Don't never take heed of what pretty girls say...

Liberty's Edge

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea,
Yellow, absorbant, and porous is he!


Since we had no clients today, and I only had one court appearance, the Boss decreed we could observe this most glorious of days. In fact, he was the one clamoring to take the MOST pictures. (This is a straight-laced, no-nonsense 70-y.o. attorney, after all. Imagine our shock.)

Aye... We had grub and grog, an' wore th' most befittin' of clothes an' accessories. Names an' all, we had!
'Twere a fine, fine day indeed. Arrr!!!!!!!


One of my favorite camp songs about three very easily distracted pirates:

Three pirates went to London town yo ho, yo ho.
Three pirates went to London town yo ho, yo ho!
Three pirates went to London town to see the king put on his crooowwwwnnn!
Yo ho ye lubbers, yo ho ye lubbers, yo ho, yo ho, yo ho.

Three pirates stopped at a wayside inn, yo ho, yo ho.
Three pirates stopped at a wayside inn, yo ho, yo ho!
Three pirates stopped at a wayside inn and said "good landlord let us iiiiiiinnnnnnn!"
Yo ho ye lubbers, yo ho ye lubbers, yo ho, yo ho, yo ho.

Good landlord have ye good red meat yo ho, yo ho.
Good landlord have ye good red meat yo ho, yo ho.
Good landlord have ye good red meat, enough to fill up even PETE!
Yo ho ye lubbers, yo ho ye lubbers, yo ho, yo ho, yo ho.

Good landlord have ye maidens fair, yo ho, yo ho.
Good landlord have ye maidens fair, yo ho, yo ho!
Good landlord have ye maidens fair with pearly smiles and golden haiiiiirrr!
Yo ho ye lubbers, yo ho ye lubbers, yo ho, yo ho, yo ho.

Good landlord have ye bags of gold, yo ho, yo ho.
Good landlord have ye bags of gold, yo ho, yo ho.
Good landlord have ye bags of gold, enough to fill the afterhooooooolllldd!
Yo ho ye lubbers, yo ho ye lubbers, yo ho, yo ho, yo ho.

Three pirates went to London town yo ho, yo ho.
Three pirates went to London town yo ho, yo ho!
Three pirates went to London town to see the king put on his crooowwwwnnn!
Yo ho ye lubbers, yo ho ye lubbers, yo ho, yo ho, yo ho.


Got a whale of a tale to tell ya, lads
A whale of a tale or two
'Bout the flappin' fish and the girls I've loved
On nights like this with the moon above
A whale of a tale and it's all true
I swear by my tattoo

There was Mermaid Minnie, met her down in Madagaskar
She would kiss me, any time that I would ask her
Then one evening her flame of love blew out
Blow me down and pick me up!
She swapped me for a trout

There was Typhoon Tessie, met her on the coast of Java
When we kissed I bubbled up like molten lava
Then she gave me the scare of my young life
Blow me down and pick me up!
She was the captain's wife

There was harpoon Hannah,
Had a face that made you shudder,
Lips like fish hooks,
And a nose just like a rudder,
If I kissed her and held her tenderly,
There's no sea monster big enough to ever frighten me!

Got a whale of a tale to tell ya, lads
A whale of a tale or two
'Bout the flappin' fish and the girls I've loved
On nights like this with the moon above
A whale of a tale and it's all true
I swear by my tattoo!


Fake Healer wrote:

Arrr! A skirt on da' deck! Tis a pox on us all!

*quietly places enough dubloons in the chest for 2 whippings*
:>

*gives Fakey a thorough and vigorous whippin'*

And ye'll like it, won't ya, you scallywag! ;)

The Exchange

Lilith wrote:
Fake Healer wrote:

Arrr! A skirt on da' deck! Tis a pox on us all!

*quietly places enough dubloons in the chest for 2 whippings*
:>

*gives Fakey a thorough and vigorous whippin'*

And ye'll like it, won't ya, you scallywag! ;)

Time for whippin' number 2 now, right!!!

FH


I'M A SAILOR WIT' A PEG!
AND I LOST MY LEG!
'A CLIMBIN' UP THE TOPSAILS,
I LOST MY LEG!

I'M SHIPPIN' UP TO BOSTON!
I'M SHIPPIN' UP TO BOSTON!
I'M SHIPPIN' UP TO BOSTON!
TO FIND MY WOODEN LEG!

I'M A SAILOR WIT' A PEG!
AND I LOST MY LEG!
'A CLIMBIN' UP THE TOPSAILS,
I LOST MY LEG!

I'M SHIPPIN' UP TO BOSTON!
I'M SHIPPIN' UP TO BOSTON!
I'M SHIPPIN' UP TO BOSTON!
TO FIND MY WOODEN LEG!

I'M SHIPPIN' UP TO BOSTON!
I'M SHIPPIN' UP TO BOSTON!
I'M SHIPPIN' UP TO BOSTON!
TO FIND MY WOODEN LEG!

Paizo Employee Digital Pest

Yar?


Cos wrote:
Yar?

RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE, ARR.

Liberty's Edge

Who we gonna make walk th' plank? Oy bin chummin' all day.


Heathansson wrote:
Who we gonna make walk th' plank? Oy bin chummin' all day.

'Tis keel-haulin' ye 'twill be, says I!

Liberty's Edge

Arr! Ye skritch moy back, Oy'll skritch yarrs!!


YELLOWBEARD!


You can keep your Bluebeards and your Blackbeards. The most successful pirate of all time controlled a fleet of more than 1,500 ships and upwards of 80,000 sailors -- and she did it all without the help of facial hair.

When a Chinese pirate captain named Cheng married a beautiful prostitute in 1801, he wasn't just getting the girl of his dreams; he was making the best financial investment of his career. His new bride, known to history as Cheng I Sao, or "Wife of Cheng," agreed to the marriage on one condition -- that she would share equally in his power and would be given the opportunity to help him secure more wealth.

Sounded like a deal to Cheng, and for the next six years, the husband and wife teamed up to grow their piracy business along the coast of the South China Sea, as far south as Malaysia. But then, in 1807, Cheng passed away. Instead of stepping aside like a "proper" widow, Cheng I Sao promptly took the reins.

Thinking outside the treasure box

Although clearly ahead of her time, Cheng I Sao was shrewd enough to realize that the pirate masses weren't likely as enlightened. So, her first act as leader was to make her husband's second-in-command, Chang Pao, official captain of the fleet.

While Chang Pao led the men into battle, Cheng I Sao focused her attention on business, military strategy, and the enormous task of governing a growing body of ruffians. In the years following her husband's death, she steadily brought more and more outlaws under the banner of her Red Flag Fleet.

In fact, Cheng I Sao was eventually responsible for nearly all the piracy in the region and her fleet exceeded the size of many countries' navies. She also expanded the scope of the business, branching out from simple attack-and-pillage jobs to protection schemes, blackmail, and extortion. Cheng I Sao's reach also extended to the mainland, where she set up an extensive spy network and developed economic ties with farmers who would supply her men with food.

If Cheng I Sao's business practices were exemplary, then her system of pirate law was nothing short of revolutionary. The code of conduct she wrote for her men prescribed much harsher punishments than previous pirate laws had. A disobeyed order was cause for beheading (as was stealing from the common plunder), and deserters stood to lose their ears.
Ironically, Cheng I Sao's most famous laws applied to the taking of female prisoners. Ugly women were returned to shore, free of charge. Attractive captives were auctioned off to the crew, unless a pirate personally purchased the captive, in which case they were considered married. Of course, if that pirate cheated on his new bride, Cheng I Sao had him killed.

The not-so-bitter end

Murder, thievery, and intricate crime syndicates will eventually garner the full attention of the law, and Cheng I Sao certainly had the authorities on her tail. But, here again, she proved more successful than her male counterparts.

Cheng I Sao repelled attack after attack by both the Chinese navy and the many Portuguese and British bounty hunters brought in to help capture her. Then, in 1810, the Chinese government tried a different tactic -- they offered her universal pirate amnesty in exchange for peace.

Cheng I Sao jumped at the opportunity and headed for the negotiating table. There, the pirate queen arranged what was, all told, a killer deal. Fewer than 400 of her men received any punishment, and a mere 126 were executed. The remaining pirates got to keep their booty and were offered military jobs.

As for Cheng I Sao, she retired with her loot and her new husband (former righthand man, Chang Pao) and opened a gambling house. She died peacefully in 1844, a 69-year-old grandmother.

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