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Well this comes down to the old "Community Standards" argument - what's too dark in one group isn't anywhere near the line in another.
I think alot of it will have to do with how much emotional investment a player has in his character and in NPCs. So even for me, "too dark" can vary. For example, in another thread some of us were discussing how to force PCs into making an agonizing choice over which NPC to save from death. If I were just playing the game with light RPing and mostly viewing the events as puzzles and general plot, the horrible hostage situation we came up with - and I was part of it - wouldn't bother me.
But, if I had extreme emotional investment in my PC and his relationships with the NPCs, spent a great deal of effort RPing - to the point where the game was more like a novel I was a part of and not just a game anymore - that situation would really bother me. I thought about this as that thread went on - it started to really disturb me the more I immersed myself into the scenario, imagining what I'd do as a player.
So in short, my line moves. I would judge any scenario on a case by case basis. For many I'm sure this is an issue of personal morals and distaste. I can understand that viewpoint. But mine is that this is a fantasy world where just about anything can happen and there is plenty of pure evil out there to go around. That comes with the territory of the game. I like gritty and dark as a personal preference - and I do have a line - but where that is really depends on the type of campaign I'm involved in.