Wolf Spirit's page

Congrats Nick

Replacing the hag in this story with a human wizard would require rewriting the plot. Replacing the hag in the other story with a human wizard would just have made it less sexist.

So sexism is only okay if it's really important to the plot and the character development? Sorry, I don't buy it.

Harp Rose wrote:

Wait, you have an issue with the hags being powerful and controlling a massive monster in the other proposal, but not with them being needy moms who do anything to get the man?

Wow, you managed to completely reverse what I said about each entry.

I'm with Harp Rose on this one. You said you don't like that this adventure is about a woman seducing a man into procreating and then using the child against him, but then you said that using the theme of "dark motherhood" works. And you said that you liked the other one for using strong female antagonists, but then you said that using hags paints a bad picture of women? I don't follow. I don't think either entry is misogynistic, but if I had to judge, I'd think a theme of "dark motherhood" is more sexist than just having female bad guys

I like what Nick did with the matianak. Unfortunately, body of work or no, this entry is supposed to be headed for publication. Consideration of Nick's overall talent has to take a back seat to the acknowledgment that this is a contest.

The fact that this is a contest makes body of work even more important, in my mind. Besides, this is supposed to be the first pitch. The title of Steve Helt's proposal changed in publication. Robert Brookes's monster was renamed in Daughters of Fury. Crystal acknowledged that the name of the monster would change if this proposal wins. I'm not worried about the Maori angle, those kinds of things get edited out by Paizo really quickly.

I see your point about the thunderbird, and I actually have some issues with its use beyond the cultural one. The hag misogyny is bit of a stretch for me, though. I saw the storm hags as CR-appropriate, sentient storm-themed monsters rather than deliberate representations of women. I don't see any gendered themes really anywhere in this proposal.

In other words, The Starpearl Tower is the only entry this year that might, just might, have the potential to be an honest to goodness classic. Let's give it the chance.

First off, I thought posting this here was really uncool. You want to support or criticize an entry that's fine, but keep the thread about the entry itself. The Spires thread is not the place to be drumming up votes for Starpearl Tower, in my opinion; put that on the Starpearl thread.

I'm voting for this entry for two big reasons. One, this entry just does more right. Both have great plots, but Starpearl's corruption mechanic is vague, while Storm-Veiled's suspicion mechanic is pretty clearly described, including how it influences the turnout of events. Starpearl's encounters seem both CR-challenged and just kind of random--shrimp, lunarama, mothman, a sea drake out of nowhere?--while every single encounter in Storm-Veiled deliberately forwards the plot (which gives me confidence that this author can pull the adventure off despite the magnitude of content). Starpearl could happen basically anywhere, while Storm-Veiled is deeply rooted in the Sodden Lands (except for the Star Savior and stuff from Lost Kingdoms, although I had never heard of these things until reading the comments because I don't own Lost Kingdoms; I suspect Mark is right that this author probably never read that stuff. Still it could fit in pretty much any Lirgeni ruin, so moving or adapting it isn't a huge deal to me). Plus, the presentation is just better in my eye.

The second reason is body of work. Looking through the contest, This author's work has consistently proven more polished than Starpearl's. I have no doubt that Nick can create compelling encounters that influence later (or are influenced by earlier) events, because that's exactly what he did last round. I have no doubt that he can create a compelling new monster and avoid touchy real-world implications of his cast of characters (@RJGrady) because that's exactly what he did in the monster round. I have no doubt that he can cram an awesome map into a condensed space, because that's exactly what he did (perhaps overly so) in the map round. Basically any concern I have that comes from the pitch itself I've seen fix itself in earlier entries. I don't need to take this entry on faith.

See, I think that this is EXACTLY what an encounter should be. There is a clear plot, a clear goal, and a cut and dry reason for doing it. This leaves the PCs free to find the means to the ends. It explicitly states that players have free creative reign to slow her down or capture her however they want. It allows so much room for creativity.

This is what I feel is missing from a lot of the other proposals and from a lot of published encounters in general. So many of them read as, here is the situation, the PCs have to do x by completing y to achieve Z. And yes, there is fun to be had in that, but it leaves very little to the imagination. This encounter basically plays out like real life. Here is where you are, here is what you need to accomplish, how are you going to do it? This is why I play DnD. To get the feeling of how awesome life could be if I had magic powers. I could summon a swarm of bees to attack her, or a could STAMPED A HERD OF SHEEP AT HER. I love this!

Agreed. I'll admit I thought the haunt was weird, but the plot is good, the goal is clear, and there is plenty of opportunity for the PCs to call the shots. The way I see it, this round is about showing us what kind of "scenes" the writer is going to give us in an adventure. As a player, I don't want scenes where the GM tells me what's happening and what I have to do to stop it, whether I like it or not. I want scenes where I know what's happening, and then I choose how I'm going to participate. That's way more fun than just having the story told to me.

This entry definitely has the most consideration for player choice, and that's what I want in the advetures that I play in. Strong vote from me

Christopher Wasko - Astugr Lighthouse
Mike Kimmel - The Floating Bazaar
Mikko Kallio - The House of the Serpent's Hand
Victoria Jazcko - The Wedding Day Chapel

Good luck to all the contestants!

I just learned about this contest, being a long time Pathfinder player but never actually having an account (my GM takes care of all the published stuff, I just come to play). I'm looking through some of the entries, both from this year and the last couple years, and I thought I would contribute some thoughts.

I really like this entry. I think the story is well fleshed out, the setting is interesting and exciting, and I love encounters where monsters are active allies of the PCs, thus allowing them to do more than they could do on their own. A few people criticized the haunt because the PCs may never get to interact with it. As a player, I don't really mind that, I wouldn't question why a haunted graveyard is desecrated. To me it makes the whole scene more dynamic, as do the gradually spreading fires. I don't know how all the numbers fit together (I don't usually run games myself, I just let my GM do all the math), but the judges seem fine with it so it's a go for me.

I watched your podcast and I loved your analogy of "throwing design spaghetti at the wall to see what sticks." I think it makes for off-the-beaten-path design opportunities that could make for a super interesting adventure from a player's perspective. Hopefully we'll get to see that adventure in the next round. Good luck!

I just learned about this contest, being a long time Pathfinder player but never actually having an account (my GM takes care of all the published stuff, I just come to play). I'm looking through some of the entries, both from this year and the last couple years, and I thought I would contribute some thoughts.

As a player, I'm pretty conflicted about this entry. Personally, I think this might be among the most exciting an cinematic encounters of the round, but the judges and voters have quite a few problems with it. Maybe it's because I'm just a player, rather than a GM, but I'm not sure I agree with some of the criticism. For example, a lot of voters say that it was a huge flaw in your design that you didn't include a reason the PCs are there. None of the judges this round commented on that, and I looked at the encounter entries from last year and only one of the top four entries had an explicit reason for the PCs to be there, so I don't know how critical that really is. I guess for me, the PCs are there because they want to play (I know that's why I'm there), so that should be a given.

I get where Crystal and some of the other voters are coming from with their criticism of the map. Boiled down, this encounter is indeed fighting two monsters on a circular platform. But as a player I'm not sure I've ever thought of an encounter in its most-reduced state. To me, this is fighting two mysterious daemons (I did have to look up the lacridaemon on the PFSRD), who are dangling innocents off a 90 foot tower and threatening to put countless more in harm's way if not stopped, on the top of a giant lighthouse around its flaming light in the midst of a snowstorm, all with a benevolent ghost as an active ally (which Crystal didn't like but I think is really cool). That all seems pretty awesome to me, and I think my GM would sell this encounter to me that way rather than "you fight two monsters on a circular platform."

I do wish there was more in the rest of the building, like others have said, especially since the map is so detailed. But looking to last year, Steven Helt's submission was really just one encounter in a room, too. If I'm reading the rules right, the idea was to give us a location, and one encounter in that location, which is exactly what this is.

I also get how several people criticize the fact that the villain is not in the encounter. I agree with GM_SolSpiral that after reading this I'm chomping at the bit to take this sucker down, and it stinks that he's not here. But I actually think that helps this entry. Like I told Mike on his Floating Bazaar entry, I think an encounter is just a building block for an overarching adventure, and I think this entry has that more than any other this round. I want to go scour the entire town of Skjoldmur for Skimir after reading this, and I think that is more compelling than an entirely self-contained encounter, since I think the idea of this round is to find the people most equipped to write a whole adventure. Last year, the judges really liked the hooks of a naga lich who didn't appear in the encounter and a gnome sorcerer who booked it out of the encounter as soon as it started, so I guess I'm more in that camp. Like Crystal said, this encounter is a prelude to a later boss fight, and I don't necesarily think that's a bad thing.

I watched your podcast today, and you mentioned that you think you're a good storyteller. From reading this entry, I would agree and I really hope I get to see what kind of a story you can tell in round 4.

Wow, this was a lot more than I intended to write. I guess it's because I'd really like to see this entry advance, and it seems to be a bit of an underdog right now. Good luck!

I just learned about this contest, being a long time Pathfinder player but never actually having an account (my GM takes care of all the published stuff, I just come to play). I'm looking through some of the entries, both from this year and the last couple years, and I thought I would contribute some thoughts.

I had similar difficulties with the intro here as I did with the Temple of the Serpent's Hand, nothing to do with your writing I just didn't know this part of the campaign setting. For what it's worth, I don't think your intro was boring. I usually play good-aligned characters who like knowledge, so your hook is just fine for me. I like how you included information about the surrounding cityscape even if it wasn't specifically part of your encounter; I do think encounters a supposed to be building blocks for an overarching story, and you have a great setup for a story beyond the encounter. The encounter itself also seems really fun; the cutpurses might be PC cannon fodder, but sometimes that's what the group needs to keep from getting frustrated. I watched your podcast interview and I agree that you definitely bring some spice to the contest, and I think this encounter plus your previous work has earned you a spot in the final four. Good luck!

I just learned about this contest, being a Pathfinder player but never actually having an account before now (my GM usually takes care of all the published stuff, I just come to play). I'm looking through some of the entries, both from this year and the last couple years, and I thought I would contribute some thoughts.

I think this submission best fits the requirements of the round. My group has never experienced the Irori monks or this region of Golarion, so it took me a few tries to get through the intro just due to inexperience. But looking closer, I think this entry has everything the round was all about. An interesting location (and map) with an interesting antagonist that uses previous material in an exciting way, all wrapped up into one encounter. A few other people have really zeroed in on the specifics so I won't repeat those here. Overall, really great work, and given this and your past entries I think you very much deserve to make the top four. Good luck!