"Hey, hey, take it easy big guys!"
Wade Wilson was slowly backing away from two huge orcs that were approaching him very threateningly.
It was in the middle of the night, and the three of them were standing on a dock in a shipping yard that was used as a smuggling operation by a very powerful man. Of course that didn’t matter to Wade, he was on a contract- a Merc with a Mission, as he liked to call himself. Of course things weren't going as planned seeing as there were two oversized (yes, even for an orc) goons lurching toward him with his back to the ocean. 'Being a great swimmer doesn't really help much when you still can't out swim a freaking shark.*sigh* Better get talking Wade.'
Going on instinct, Wade stops backing up and holds his arm out to them as if he wanted a hug. "Fellas! Comrades! Brochachos! Why fight? I mean isn't there enough turmoil in this convoluted world without adding our petty quarrels to the mix?" In truth, Wade really only understood about half of the words he just used, but it worked: The two orcs stopped moving toward Wade and screwed their faces up as if the big words may have actually hurt their brains. Finally one of the orcs spoke up, "Uh, da boss said that youz gotta come with us." The man was obviously pleased with his speech as he had a satisfied smile on his face. 'Geez these guys must have taken a few too many shots to the head. Just keep 'em talking.' "Sure, sure, you guys have a job to do, I get that, but I do too. I mean think about it: you gentlemen were told to take me to your boss, and I was told to…uh…steal everything and burn the place to the ground." 'Honesty is the best policy!' "So I say we go get ourselves a drink a celebrate each other as the best employees money can buy! Wadya say pals?" The two goons stop and genuinely considered the offer, finally the more talkative of the two spoke up,"But...da boss said..." Then, the second one pats him on the shoulder, "I like drinks!" he declares. After the intense dialogue, the two resort to grunts and shoves as a method of arguing. This was all Wade needed. He ran forward and slid between the two and took off running. Sliding between crates and other things that littered the area, he was almost home free when a sharp pain exploded across the back of his head.
When Wade woke up, he was staring at two hulking, familiar figures, and a squat, balding man in the middle. Wade himself was tied up on a small boat, completely naked, and in a large amount of pain from the blow to the back of his head. When he realized that he had no way of fighting back, he resorted to the only weapon he had: biting sarcasm. "Wh-what? My clothes?" Wade then put on a horrified face a gasped sharply, "You perverts!". Wade thought his display deserved an ovation, but of course it was only met by a bored expression from the man, and confused looks from the orcs. Wade sighed and mumbled, "I'm before my time."
Then the man spoke up,[try and channel "The Godfather" for this guy] "Alright listen up cause I'm only gonna say this once, somebody paid you to come here ad mess with my merchandise, and I wanna know who. If you're a good little rat I'll let you walk away, if not, then I'll cut those pretty little tattoos off your chest." The tattoos were very special to Wade, but that didn't mean he was about to let this guy know that. "Pfft! Go ahead I got these when I was drunk. Wade was trying to channel as much apathy as he could muster. The man was obviously not in the mood for Wade's crap though, he simply sighed and untied the rope that held Wade's boat to the shore. With a swift kick, the man sent Wades boat out to drift. "Say hi to Davie Jones for me ya schmuts!" he shouted at Wade who was drifting farther away. He then turned and walked away, disappearing into the darkness.
Wade eventually got out of his binding and, after that, pretty much chilled out. It wasn't a bad way to go, he loved the sea and was at peace with the fact that he would die there. He was so relaxed that he decided to take a nap, but when he woke up it was a completely different seen. Morning had come, but the sky was dark and ominous, the wind howled loudly, and the sea was violent. Rain had started to poor and lightening was streaking through the sky, Wade was staring out into the ocean, taking in the scene when he became very aware of a shadow that had come over him. He turned around to see a wave about five times as tall as he was, that was headed straight for him. He had just enough time to mutter a quick "Oh no" before everything went black.
