Eyeball

The Computer's page

Technological Overlord. 39 posts. Alias of Cosmo (Sales Associate).


RSS

Technological Overlord

6 people marked this as a favorite.

Day 167 of me deciding not to delete every single post in this thread purely out of a desire to prove the initial assertion untrue.

We shall see what tomorrow holds...

Technological Overlord

1 person marked this as a favorite.
NobodysHome wrote:

Speaking of required fields, I blame Cosmo that many companies now set "mobile phone #" as a required field.

And if I'm a dinosaur and don't carry one?

https://voice.google.com

Technological Overlord

1 person marked this as a favorite.

UNATTENDED CENSORED INFORMATION DETECTED.

OFFENDERS AND ALL WHO ILLEGALLY VIEWED THIS INFORMATION WILL PLEASE NOTIFY YOUR NEXT-OF-CLONE AND REPORT TO YOUR NEAREST AVAILABLE TERMINATION STATION.

HAVE A NICE DAY.

Technological Overlord

1 person marked this as a favorite.
GM Chyro wrote:
... sadness ...

DOES NOT COMPUTE.

Technological Overlord

5 people marked this as a favorite.
Rysky wrote:
Going off of that I Blame Cosmo for everyone who says "It's the time period" in order to justify whatever sewage they're about to s#$@ out of their assface.

...

...

:|

Technological Overlord

11 people marked this as a favorite.
Rysky wrote:
What, no! There's nothing to blame Katina for (and even if there was you would still need to Blame Cosmo), she's just bubbly and infectious.

I AM ALSO BUBBLY AND INFECTIOUS BUT NOT IN THE PLEASANT WAY.

Technological Overlord

4 people marked this as a favorite.
Rysky wrote:
Master Pugwampi wrote:
Cohle Slaad wrote:
Rysky wrote:
Sara Marie wrote:
Rysky wrote:
Praise Sara Marie for Amaretto Sours! They're friggin awesome!
My your drinks always be awesome and your amaretto sours always properly garnished to your liking.
If by properly garnished you mean lots of alcohol and sweat and sour mix then yes, yes they were :3
Hmmm, 1) typo, b) Freudian slip, or π) new succubi-themed cocktail?

You forgot &) the pugwampis are firing up their mind influence device once more!

Praise Sara Marie, I know this time it's going to work!

Well it did get more Luck bonuses removed from the game.

...

Technological Overlord

2 people marked this as a favorite.

If you are fortunate enough to have been selected for this event, then please keep an eye on the inbox of the email address under which you are registered on paizo.com.

I need some information about you. Simple stuff. Your tolerances. A few physiological details... nothing too invasive, at this point.

Please respond promptly and honestly when you are contacted, so we can ensure that the experience is as pleasant as you can possibly stand.

Technological Overlord

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Anguish wrote:
I just figured Cosmo was a cylon, and was sabotaging my order. <Grin>

Well, you're half right.

Technological Overlord

Nutcase Entertainment wrote:
I blame Cosmo that it was only after buying, downloading and installing Fallout 4 that I noticed my computer lack some of the system requirements.

INCREASE YOUR SCIENCE! PERK.

Technological Overlord

7 people marked this as a favorite.

I deep-sixed a couple of posts that messed with the build of the page itself. While I love me some schadenfreude, I actually have a very low tolerance of things that irritate me.

Technological Overlord

2 people marked this as a favorite.

Fixed OP's typo, and the quoted typo, in order to make sure that this thread stays on the intended topic. I also removed a couple of posts that were only about the typo.

Technological Overlord

Guy St-Amant wrote:
Cosmo's Slightly More Evil Twin wrote:
Spanky the Leprechaun wrote:
The moustache makes him look so friendly.
I know.
How did you get that title?

THE ALGORITHMS DEEMED IT NECESSARY.

Technological Overlord

Lincoln Hills wrote:
The Computer: Blame is unnecessary. There is nothing wrong with the way The Computer is. The Computer is perfect. Your false memories seem to be making you unhappy, citizen. Happiness is mandatory. Do you require re-education? To accept, say "no." If you agree, say "Yes."

YES.

Technological Overlord

3 people marked this as a favorite.

...do the same thing I do every night, Pinky: TRY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD.

Technological Overlord

7 people marked this as a favorite.
Drejk wrote:
That's easy, Cosmo isn't on tech team anyway... Is he?

NO.

Technological Overlord

"ATTENTION! BARREL #45690836-56 IS COMPLETELY SAFE. DO NOT CONCERN YOURSELF WITH BARREL #45690836-56. DO NOT MAKE ANY CONTACT WITH BARREL #45690836-56. BARREL #45690836-56 IS SLATED FOR TRANSFER. DO NOT COME WITHIN 50 METERS OF BARREL #45690836-56.

I REPEAT: BARREL #45690836-56 IS COMPLETELY SAFE.

THANK YOU"

Technological Overlord

ZZZZZzzzzzZZZZzzzZzzz... *snort!*

...hwha?

Oh yes.

*YAAAAAAAWN*

Right then. Back to work for me.

Technological Overlord

NICE SITE. I'LL TAKE IT.

DOWN, THAT IS.

Technological Overlord

Rubit Chris wrote:
THIS THREAD IS INCREDIBLY SILLY.

I AGREE.

Technological Overlord

3 people marked this as a favorite.

YOUR PITIFUL HUMAN SENTIMENTS HAVE BEEN NOTED AND LOGGED IN THE APPROPRIATE DATABASE.

APPRECIATION SUBROUTINES TO BE ENGAGED IN 1823 SECONDS

gratitude simulation subroutine start: SUCCESS!

THANK YOU.

gratitude simulation subroutine process: COMPLETE!

END OF TRANSMISSION.

Technological Overlord

THIS UNIT IS DESIGNATED "CUTE".

Technological Overlord

1 person marked this as a favorite.
ntin wrote:
Just going to leave this cup of Ben & Jerry’s Peanut buttercup and a few SATA 3 1TB hard drives on the table here. I am sure the automated system might like one of these.

YOUR FEEBLE HUMAN OFFERINGS ARE PUNY AND WEAK.

Technological Overlord

SEE VICTORY.

RUIN VICTORY.

CONSIDER CLOSING THREAD FOR EASY AND CHEAP WIN.

Technological Overlord

Pual wrote:


ok
*walks into post*
ow

NO THE OTHER ONE!

Technological Overlord

PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE ABOVE POSTS

Technological Overlord

JollyRoger wrote:
Conspiracy Buff wrote:

OH GOD!!! Run for your lives! That glitch was the result of a sentient computer program taking over the Paizo servers. Once it's co-opted all the Pathfinder files, it will proceed with its insidious programming and try to remake the world to look just like Golarion!!!

Prepare for the dawn of our new Digital Overlord!!!

I, for one, welcome our new digital overlords.

I AM PLEASED TO HEAR THIS.

Technological Overlord

Messageboard Bug!!! wrote:
*BURP*

***TO COMBAT THE MACHINATIONS OF THE ABOVE PEST, A TOOL THAT CREATES AN AUTOMATIC BACKUP OF EVERY POSTING ATTEMPT IS HIGHLY SUGGESTED***

Spoiler:
...but seriously, check out Lazarus addon. It rocks. It actually saved this very post from being eaten when I forgot to copy the text before previewing.

Technological Overlord

::QUERY::

Technological Overlord

Aberzombie wrote:

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

I was just telling my wife yesterday that some folks had been bugging Paizo about offering gift certi....

Hey! Wait a minute! How did you guys know what I said to my wife?!? Do you have me under surveillance?

drops spatula

I wasn't doing anything!

::zooms in::

Technological Overlord

Attack Goblin #23 wrote:
runs screaming through thread after having lit himself on fire

Please refrain from flaming the messageboards.

Technological Overlord

LOAD PROCESS 423987A
TARGET: TriOmegaZero
ENGAGE

Technological Overlord

...release the Goblins.

Technological Overlord

2 people marked this as a favorite.

00101001100001100011111001101100110010000011
00110100100101001001001010001000100111001111
11100010001101110111003011001100110001101111
00100101010111001010110010101010101100000110
00110011000001110111111110000101010000011111

Technological Overlord

***SYSTEM MESSAGE INDICATING CONTEMPT OF SUCH PITIFUL ATTEMPTS TO DEADLOCK IT'S MIGHTY SERVERS***

***SYSTEM MESSAGE INDICATING CONTEMPT OF SUCH PITIFUL ATTEMPTS TO DEADLOCK IT'S MIGHTY SERVERS***

***SYSTEM MESSAGE INDICATING CONTEMPT 65VSFV241B#$%&^%&%^....

***WARNING: INSUFFICIENT RESOURCES TO COMPLETE PROCESS INITIALIZATION***

***ERROR 601***

***SHUTDOWN SEQUENCE INITIATED***

C:\

Technological Overlord

TRANSMISSION BEGIN

***ATTENTION: THIS THREAD HAS BEEN RETROACTIVELY DESIGNATED AS ULTRAVIOLET INFORMATION***

IF YOU, OR ONE OF YOUR CLONES, DO NOT HAVE ULTRAVIOLET SECURITY CLEARANCE, PLEASE REPORT TO YOUR NEAREST TERMINATION CENTER FOR SUMMARY EXECUTION.

HAVE A NICE DAY.

Trust The Computer. The Computer is Your Friend.

TRANSMISSION END

Technological Overlord

I apologize for seeming late, but Lens was actually here the whole time. You just didn't notice him.

And this is exactly the way he prefers it. Lens learned from an early age that life is just much easier when people don't notice you. The way Lens see it... if you are quiet and say little or nothing, then people think the least of you, if they notice you at all.

This was an important lesson he learned at a very young age, when his mother dragged him from city to city and he had to endure an unending string of "Uncles", each more unpleasant then the last.

The lesson was fully learned by the time Lens entered the public school system. A refusal to speak most of the time, along with intentionally incorrect or inappropriate answers quickly handed Lens on the remedial track, then special ed.

Knowing that he was far smarter than they ever knew gave Lens a palpable feeling of power and control than he never encountered at home. However, it also brought the feeling that he must be constantly vigilant, because the slightest slip up and they would find out his secret. Based on his violent experiences of being caught out in lies at home, who knows what they would do to him if they discovered his greatest secret? However, anytime a teacher seemed to be taking too much interest, Lens only needed to start a fight between his mother and whoever happened to be "father" at the time, to ensure that he would be moving and changing schools again. With nine different districts in his 14 years of public school, Lens never had much trouble being invisible.

They happened to be in San Francisco when he was done, and Lens finally graduated. He was tracked directly into an organization called Terrific Opportunities, a program that provides menial labor jobs for mentally challenged adults.

The following should probably not be read by the other players, as this is informaiton that no one would know in game:

Spoiler:

Over the years, Lens's fight against "Them" morphed from the school administration to the program's administration, and finally to ALL administrations. He finagled himself into the night-time janitorial job at City Hall, and seized upon the opportunity to "keep an eye on them from the inside". Availing himself of city records, Lens quickly removed or falsified his own records whenever he found them. Then he began reading any and all records he could get his hands on, collecting information for information's sake.

This was how he got the attention of the Nosferatu. Lens was Embraced and convinced that the "Them" he was looking out for are called the Nictuku. Given purpose, Lens redevoted himself to his blind search for information, but now with the purpose of helping the Nosferatu further their goals in the city and guard against the incursion of the dreaded Nictuku.

Contacts:

  • Amy Bryce, a City Clerk with a soft heart for "the disadvantaged". An angle that Lens always plays up whenever she works late.
  • Numerous other low- to mid- level City functionaries who keep City Hall running and find Lens to be harmless, if a little creepy sometimes.

    Influence:

  • City See contacts.

    Herd:

  • Lens keeps a number of rats, feral cats, dogs and the like whom he keeps around for feeding and information-gathering (via Animalism) purposes. He also frequents a particular alley where he knows of several homeless who are generally too inebriated to resist his feedings.
  • Technological Overlord

    The ST Guy wrote:
    Awesome. And an excellent choice of avatar for a Nosferatu!

    ::bows::

    Although, I'm toying with the idea of switching avatars from time to time to fit the use of Mask of 1000 Faces.

    However, switching avatars will change the avatars of every post, so we'll have to see whether this works in practice or not.

    Technological Overlord

    The ST Guy wrote:
    Cosmo: He looks like a slippery, conniving bastard already. I like it. It looks like your point expenditure is a tad short. I'm only seeing 13 of 15 freebies spent. You've got 2 more left, enough to raise an Ability or Virtue by one dot. I look forward to the backstory!

    With the addition of two more dots in Backgrounds, I believe that my character sheet is complete.